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Turkish Jokes

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Maybe I'm supposed to translate this joke into English, so everybody would enjoy..

But I'm just a translator of the most boring documents, poor me :D , and I dont think somebody would laugh at a joke I translate..

But maybe I can talk about the 'laz' mentioned in the joke. There is a general tendency to call the people living along the Black Sea cost 'laz', though in fact the word indicates an ethnical group. There is a huge oral literature of 'laz fıkraları: laz jokes', because , their reactions to events, unexpected situations, their own way of looking at the matters probably caused a folklor to emerge and finally a literature of jokes followed. Sometimes the character in the joke is called 'Temel', a common name for men, in the region. Temel is always smart, but sometimes he takes the matters so matter of factly that surprises everybody.

Let me tell you a Temel joke to give an idea..

It was when the computer, or with the name common then 'electronic brain' was introduced to the world. Science people all around the world was invited for this great introduction. A professor, lets say, from the UK asked a question about relativity theory and voila, the output written on the continous form papers used then out- poured. Wow! said the professor, that's right! Then the German professor, about the dynamics of space crafts, then the French, whatever they asked was replied by the computer in a second. Then Temel approached, wrote his question on the input card and waited. Silence followed.

The electronic brain stayed idle for another few seconds and started hissing, buzzing while all the small green and red lights on the machine were flashing crazily. Then smoke covered everywhere and the brain turned into a dead case of metal. They rushed to Temel 'Hey? WHAT did you ask?' 'Why? he replied, I just said 'ne var ne yok?''Ne var ne yok' is an informal way saying 'How are you'. Literally it means 'what is there and what is not?'

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Excellent joke saffron.

A lot of people in the village ask me 'Ne var ne yok' and I always answer 'Evimiz var paramız yok' which always makes them laugh.

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Good jokes people but perhaps you'd better translate yours Zehra so that everyone can enjoy it.

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Temel Reis..lol..

He is just an imaginary captain of a fishing boat..

Fishing is among the main economic activities of the Black Sea people. A fisherman, when he owns the boat, is called 'reis', which means captain.

Popeye , too, is a captain, 'reis', and if he will be given a Turkish name, Temel sounds good!

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Hi Sunny,I wish I could translate it in the same manner as to not loose the edge for humour..

Perhaps somebody who understands it in Turkish could translate it into English.. I hope... :help::) here is another one of our Temel.. (this wasn't my translation)Remember A French-man, an English-man and Temel who were spies were arrested by Interpol. After one week of torture, the French spy told everything he knew. Then, after one month's torture the English spy told everyting he knew too. But the staff of Interpol did not manage to get any information whatsoever from Temel. After they had tried every known method of torture, even the latest ones, they still failed to make him talk. So they put him a prison and they also put a camera into the place so that they could see him. After six months, one night, they saw an interesting sight on screen. Temel was hitting his head against the wall continously and mumbling to himself: -"Remember my stupid head, remember! You are getting a thrashing for nothing".

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OK, I had a go at translating Zehra's joke, it's not absolutely correct but it gives the meaning of the joke I think......

The world Genetic Project Race was on. All the world

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Thank you, I was surprised that I only needed the dictionary for a couple of words. I think it's a good joke too.

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  • 7 months later...

"It has a curious use, when you cut the watermelon the seeds all run away!".

Hi Cukurbagli!

You made my day!! Very Good!!! We have our Laz people here in Hungary they are the Szekelys (Szeklers)! Anyway, Who are the Laz people, Where are they from? Are they special Turkish tribe?


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  • 2 years later...

Temel is a businessman and goes overseas to complete some business transactions, from time to time.

On one of his visits to the States, he decides to make a city tour and enjoy his visit. While driving around, he happens upon a pet shop, full of fantastic birds. He enters and starts looking at the parrots in every colour. One of them , a very elegant and smart looking parrot draws his attention. 'I want this one please', Temel says to the shopkeeper, who, in return replies in a very kind tone: 'I'm sorry sir, I'm afraid I have to say that this parrot is not for sale'. 'Why not' says Temel, what's wrong with selling it?' The shopkeeper then starts giving all the information about this very special bird. How many languages she talks, how she knows the people by their names, even replies to some questions, etc..

Temel, even more excited now, insists: Please, I do want this parrot! Just tell me the price! The shopkeeper, keeping his cool tone, says again: 'I'm afraid you don't understand me sir, this parrot is not for sale'. However, Temel is not a kind of person who can be convinced easily. Finally the shopkeeper finds a solution and makes an offer: 'Why don't you buy some of her eggs? The same kind of parrots , as smart as their mother you will get in the end'. Temel is convinced now and happy with this brilliant solution. Paying thirty thousand dollars, he takes the eggs with him.

When he is back home, prepares a warm, comfortable place and waits for the eggs to crack. Finally, the happy day comes and some small lovely creatures come out of the eggs: Baby crows!

Temel buys a ticket straight to the States, and finds the shop. The proud parrot is standing on her favorite bar, like usual, and looks around indifferently. Temel approaches the parrot and whispers: It is only you who knows what a fool I am, but the whole Turkey know now what kind of a harlot you are!

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I got this one from one of the Turkish newspapers circulating around London (my best translation):

An arrogant politician is riding in the back of a taxi and asks the driver: " Do you know the difference between a donkey and a taxi driver ?". The driver thinks a bit then says "No sir, I don't".

"You say "Chush" to the donkey and "Dur" to the driver, and they will stop." said the politician.

The taxi driver was rather offended at this, but felt he couldn't retaliate to someone who was his superior. However after a while he ventured : "May I ask you something, sir?" "Go ahead" replied the politician.

"What's the difference between a politician and a donkey?" was the question. After thinking long & hard, the politician replied "Well, I couldn't think of the answer. So tell me then, what is the difference between a politician and a donkey ?"

"Mmm ..... well sir, I couldn't think of any either !" Posted Image


And another gem being passed around :

A hard-faced, stern, bearded Muslim cleric, wearing shalvar and carrying prayer beads, gets into the back of a taxi and orders the driver: "Switch the radio off ! There was no music in the time of our prophet."

The taxi driver is a little put out, but nevertheless politely turns it off. Then he gets out of the vehicle, walks around and opens the door. "Get out" he says.

"Why" asks the cleric.

"There were no taxis in the time of our prophet. You can wait here for the next camel". Posted Image

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