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Conversations With Strangers

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This isn't a story but an observation that I have noticed with my husband, When we have been on long coach journeys together my husband will spark up conversations with just about anyone, usually the person sat opposite him in the aisle (unless a woman) and the steward.

Now I can't get my head around this, he can talk for 6 hrs and when i asked him what he talked about he says everything.

So i ask, is he married , he replies, dunno I didn't askWhat does he do for a job - dunno I didn't askHas he got any children - dunno i did't ask.mmmmmmmmWhere is he going - dunno I didn't askWhere does he live - dunno I didn't askNow how the hell can my husband have convesations lasting hours with these people and yet they don't actually discuss anything !!! :hysterical[1]:please don't tell me its just my husband lol there's got to be more out there like him :)

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Oh Kangal, that's hilarious. I can believe it. I get the same with my other half. He and I think it's five members of his family have one of these group lines with Avea so they can talk to each other for as long as they like for about 14tl a month. After he's spoken to everyone for ages I ask him what the news is , and often he says something like , 'I was just asking how they are!'

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Now I can't get my head around this, he can talk for 6 hrs and when i asked him what he talked about he says everything.

So i ask, is he married , he replies, dunno I didn't askWhat does he do for a job - dunno I didn't askHas he got any children - dunno i did't ask.

Simple.... you are asking the wrong questions...!

Like did you ask Cim Bom or Besiktas? I guess not otherwise you would have got a definitive answer :hysterical[1]: It's a classic case of men are from Venus and women are from Mars (or is it the other way :) )

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yeah i guess om speaking from a womans point of view, our longest trip was 12 hrsd and i think i managed to get out of my husband is that the steward on this trip was hoping to leave and go to uni, that was it in 12 hrs lol

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Having just done a gargantuan coach trip from Istanbul to Gaziantep with a turkish friend I know just what you mean Kangal Kid. Mehmet talks to everyone around him and strikes up conversations with total strangers all the time. On the coach he chatted away with the guy sitting next to him, both the stewards and several other passengers at each stop. The conversations were all quite inconsequential but everybody was smiling and just enjoying the chat - strong similarities with the gregarious irish and their love of natter I think.

Yes, you certainly are asking the wrong questions as the natter truly is full of nothing but just taking delight in the time to talk. Football is a high priority for sure so maybe that is what you should ask your husband about after these conversations with strangers..... :):hysterical[1]:

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Oh KK, I do so know what you mean and thought it was just me, as I have had the same conversations as you and Sunny.

It annoys me no end when I say, "whats new", after he has finished a 1 or 2 hour phone call with his brother, the reply is "nothing really". I don't know why but that answer really winds me up.

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KKSeems quite a few of us have Hubby's that like to talk about nothing for hours on end......... mine is just the same where ever we go he will start a conversation with anyone, on bus trips he like to sit at the front so he can chat to the steward or the bus driver, which does sometimes worry me a little because I would rather the bus driver be concentrating on his driving............ one time we were waiting on the platform for the train from Gebze to Istanbul and Hubby starting chatting with the train driver, next thing he calls me over introduces me (English wife but we live here in Turkey) he says...... then the train driver asks if we would like some Tea, I'm thinking he'll get some young tea boy to go fetch us some, but no he had a flask with him and little tea glasses, so there we were stood on the platform drinking tea with the driver......... But I did ask Hubby what he had been talking about and he said "nothing"........... typical !!!! :)

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well i know football wouldnt be on the agenda, i think my husband hates it more than i do . but boy am i glad im not the only one who has one lol. Living in the Uk i guess im not used to people wanting to actually talk to someone else let alone a stranger .

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  • 1 year later...

Oh Kangal, that's hilarious. I can believe it. I get the same with my other half. He and I think it's five members of his family have one of these group lines with Avea so they can talk to each other for as long as they like for about 14tl a month. After he's spoken to everyone for ages I ask him what the news is , and often he says something like , 'I was just asking how they are!'

Omg THIS IS SO TRUE!!! Mine is exactly the same, there are also so many niceties and general stuff they never seem to get to the point or the important stuff! My husband and his friends or sometimes also new friends can also just sit there quite happily in silence staring into space or repeating the same silly things, it's always me pushing him to ask stuff like where do they live? Or where do they work now etc!!!! I think relationships also take longer to form whereas I am always like invite them over to our house etc straight away, normally they have to have lots of the "general & nice" conversations first where they don't even find out much about eachother at all!
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  • 4 weeks later...

Oh KK, I do so know what you mean and thought it was just me, as I have had the same conversations as you and Sunny.

It annoys me no end when I say, "whats new", after he has finished a 1 or 2 hour phone call with his brother, the reply is "nothing really". I don't know why but that answer really winds me up.

yeah that i find really irritating aswell lol :)
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  • 2 months later...

I know this is old topic and sorry to make it up again, but I'm so glad to hear I'm not only one who gets so empty answers. My boyfriend might talk with half of relatives on the phone and when I ask "how are they" meaning how is their lives going, anything new, are they ok, what has happened lately, he replies "they are fine" and that's all. :huh: I'm not sure though if it's trying to be tip for me that when he's asking how is my family, I don't need to give him half an hour lecture what they ate today...

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lol Kamal - that's quite a cynical way to look at it!

My hubby is much the same. He'll chat to anyone. Fortunately these days my turkish is good enough that I no longer need to ask what's been said, and I can now safely realise that when he says they chatted about 'nothing' it's near as dammit true actually!

Usually they'll start off with where are you from, and a general discussion about what they know about the areas. Then they'll talk about where they did their army service and / or where they went to uni.

Then he might end up talking to them about living in England, a bit of politics if it's become obvious that it would be safe ground......

It's safe to say that this can easily take an hour or more, and yes, if I was to ask anything about the man's family, where he was going, his job, Oz would probably say he didn't know.

It just seems to be a common skill to be able to chat to someone on a journey / in a shop / on holiday without having to ask anything too personal !!

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It's safe to say that this can easily take an hour or more, and yes, if I was to ask anything about the man's family, where he was going, his job, Oz would probably say he didn't know.

that's actually interesting cultural difference, because at least here in Finland talking about family, job and other things are just normal. First you chat about weather (literally) and then somehow you're sharing your life story with stranger. Not that it would happen often since Finnish doesn't actually speak to each other, but when you happen to open your mouth you share everything important starting with family and job. You never talk about area you're living or anything like that obviously Turkish are doing.

I often get accused of chatting to complete strangers when I am abroad. I never do this living in London.

Strange!!!!!!!!!

Kamal

you know what, you're not the only one! That happens to me as well and I'm probably the most shy girl in the world when I'm in Finland!
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Funny that this topic should have been brought up again cos yesterday my friend was asking me what Turkish families managed to talk about when they phone each other everyday. She said she wouldn't dream of phoning her son more than once a week or he'd think she was going doolally!

Of course any minute health problem is worth at least 10 minutes. :)

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  • 2 months later...

What a fascinating topic -- I had not seen it before.

There are so many truly interesting things one can talk about, and really get to know a person's values and outlook on life. Personally I find it rather off-putting when someone rejects this chance for good conversation, instead insisting on banal exchange of personal data.

There are ways of getting to the personal data, if that's important for some reason. Why use a sledge hammer to get at it?

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  • 4 weeks later...

This is really funny. A Turkish friend is same too... talking for hours on phone with family and would just say "they are fine" afterwards .

They talk to much/long with each other. And seems they are all too attached with each other ( this friend i have anyways or maybe its culture thing) w/c is a good family relationship-thing if you ask me. but im just wondering if you marry a Turkish guy/gal would the relationship be the same..wouldnt you feel like an outsider if they're like that with their friends and families..but to a husband or wife less talkative??. just ranting.

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  • 1 month later...

I must say this is on of the things I liked about Turkish people when I first went there.. I come from South Africa and we do the same! I quickly had it drummed out of me when I moved to England by all the curious stares or men thinking I was hitting on them..lolI love talking and it is a job to shut me up...

In Turkey my natural chat spirit comes out and I chat for Africa.. Now I just need get my Turkish up to scratch, so I can say more than hello and how are you! Turkish people do seem to be good at English though. But maybe cos I have only been to touristy places so far...

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