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Need some advice related to Marriage in Turkey, but living in US


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Hi there, I am in an odd and uncomfortable situation and I need some advice.

My wife of 17 years and I are having great difficulty, and she is considering abandoning me and our son (he's 34, from her first marriage, and lives with us, and we get along fine).  We were legally married in Istanbul.  We still all live in California for now. 

She is making threats against my assets, saying things like Divorcing, but also saying she would just leave and deny Divorce, but still would get half of all my assets.   It's unclear what she actually wants as she doesn't really know herself and we both get very emotional when the topic comes up.

I still love her dearly and am very distressed about her unhappiness, and am more than willing to try anything to make her happy, so of course I don't want a Divorce.  Background - she is still grieving over the recent loss of both parents due to natural causes, and very distressed over the lack of emotional support from my own family.

In fact, I am happy to give her *some* money, on the order of maybe $50000 USD, much less than she has in mind, if she actually manages to force a Divorce with me.  But I have no idea how she could actually sit down with me and negotiate this number, as she is way too emotional and gets agitated whenever the topic comes up.  Again, I really want to Reconcile.

My question, in general, is, how much power does she have in this situation?  What could she possibly have Turkish Lawyers do to me?  Can she actually force a Divorce with me, from Istanbul?  Does she have legal claim on my assets?  A lot of my assets I accrued before we were Married.

Thanks for any input /advice.


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First of all, you dont need to worry about the assets that you had before the marriage - these are your personel assets and she cant get any from inside.

If she is determined about divorcing and it is impossible to change her mind, you have 3 options :

1- Divorce in California and start a recognition and enforcement in Turkey. (in that way you dont need to come to Turkey for cases if you both have lawyers from Turkey.) - faster option.

2- Divorcing in Turkey (contracted) : In that way you can arrange how to share money or other assests acquired after your marriage date. (Than inform the official authorities in California.) In that way you both have to apply for starting the divorce action and for the case - which means coming to Turkey 2 times at least)

3- Divorcing in Turkey (contentious) : That option means that the plaintiff has to prove that you caused that results (divorce) with your defective behaviors. And if you really dont want to divorce; you can go with a professional lawyer (on family law), call some witnesses from Turkey (about how a good husband you are) etc. - not really fast. In this way, you will need anoyher action to share assests..


My legal advise is, talking to her about the 1. option.

Best regards,


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