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Jirka

Long distance relationship with a Turkish girl

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Hello,

I was reading here some experiences about dating turkish girl. I have some experience as well. I met with turkish girl on net over 1 year ago. We were chating, skyping etc. Just we fell in love. As I have read some articles here about "how turkish girls behave"  it is exactly about her. She was jealous, but I didn´t mind it it was pretty cute..

She wanted be in connection every day as much as possible...

We had lot of plans about our meeting, then we started plan how to be together. She wanted come to Erasmus to my country. She was very excited about the idea and she was working hard about it almost all the year. She planed even things, which was sometimes very hard to believe they could be possible, but when I doubted anything, she was very sad, sometimes even angry like I don´t believe her and so on. 

Then, when the time for arrive came, unfortunately she couldn't come, because her friend didn´t get a visa (It was condition from her parents she can´t go alone, which I learned about in very last time from her).

Then, when she couldn´t come, she was changing all her decisions... She started behave a bit bossy sometimes. She changes her decision quickly.

When we don´t talk, she says she is sad and misses me. Then other days she says, she isn´t sure if she really loved me. Then again she wanna call with me and like so. When I say her I want to visit her in summer, always it makes her very happy. 

Btw: When we met, she said about me to her parents, but only to her mother said she feels something to me.

From her behavior I feel long time very confused and for being honest it quite hurts me. I would like to meet her in real, because she is great. But really I don´t know what she feels and why does she do this always.

Do you have any advice? Opinions? Do you have some similar experience? 

I apologize for long article.

Jirka 

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It doesn't seem to me like she is trying to play with you, it is just that her feelings change from day to day. Why she does that has to do with her as an individual, and I don't know her and have never met her, so there is no way I could know why she does what she does or what she is thinking.

If I were you I would just tell her I was interested in her and would like to have a relationship with her. Then let her take it or leave it. Of course continue to share your feelings and do the things you are doing now, but don't let her emotional changes bother you too much. There is nothing you can do about them.

A Turkish friend of mine gave me some good advice. If you like a girl and want to have a relationship with her, no matter what you do, in the end it is she who decides if it will happen or not.

Sometimes they can act this way because they are self-centered. They like having men interested in them and like to keep them on a leash. If you don't call them and pay attention to them they get angry. But at the same time they act as if they are not interested in you. And it is also said "if you like a Turkish girl, the best way to get her interested in you is to go out with another Turkish girl."

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Refer to my last year investigation in this forum!

Turkish girls generally act as a sinusoidal chart! It is completely proved to me. Especially, in virtual world! You should never forget that. You may even get to the end and then see that everything will be collapsed!

Anyway, I have given my suggestion!

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7 minutes ago, Star said:

Refer to my last year investigation in this forum!

Turkish girls generally act as a sinusoidal chart! It is completely proved to me. Especially, in virtual world! You should never forget that. You may even get to the end and then see that everything will be collapsed!

Anyway, I have given my suggestion!

Definitely! I think you understand me ☺ sinusoid chart is pretty exact description! 

You think they behave like so just in virtual? In real life they behave 'normal' ☺

And you mean when i  finished it, suddenly she would not let it finish? 

Thanks!

Jirka

 

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7 hours ago, Jirka Filip said:

Probably you are right but i would like to try this...☺

Then go ahead 

You are someone like me!

Ask someone to help but go his own path:)

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7 hours ago, Jirka Filip said:

Definitely! I think you understand me ☺ sinusoid chart is pretty exact description! 

You think they behave like so just in virtual? In real life they behave 'normal' ☺

And you mean when i  finished it, suddenly she would not let it finish? 

Thanks!

Jirka

 

Exactly. The only person understand what I have meant during these years is you! Sinusoidal function. Ascend descend. I just want you not to waste your time.

I even lost my concentration that time!

My goal was marry! That was it. Nothing below that was accepted! I believed myself. Maybe they do not believe themelves!

Especially in virtual woeld yeah it would be like a joke...they incite you then repress you!

If you are in turkey try to socialize in real world. If not then it is up to you. To me it does not have any goal however I really like you to conquer it:)

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How long did you try for the girl? It looks your story is similar as mine. I am not in Turkey. I have wanted to go there following summer. But even i don't know. Should I? She behaves as sinusoid as you say. She very likes my idea to me go to Turkey. And then, when i show her some feelings, she get mad or sad or i don't know... and then she doesn't write me. Then when i write her, she behaves she is very sad because long time i don't write her...omg...last week i sent her a gift. Firstly she was biggest happy as she told me. But then I said her some my feelings to her...she got sad and from the day she didn't write me. Omg it didn't look at first turkish girls behave like so..she is great girl, but when the sinusoid is descending, it is always problem :-(

What is your experience? Did you go to Turkey for her?

 

 

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My experience was somewhat different, but the way you think is like mine. I was in Turkey that time.

Just listen to me! Believe me, you cannot be with any girl especially especially the one with different nationality without touching her!

You should first go there and while socializing you could easily understand what they think.

Let me focus on Turkey. Turkey is not Europe, nor Asia. You cannot belong Turkey to any continent! So, the culture is really unspecified.

How old are you and what is your goal by this relationship?

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You are right. I learned Turkey has specific culture. But maybe this is what I like. I like turkish girl, because I feel I can believe her. More than any European girl - from my experience. In my opinion turkish girls are honest. 
I know I should go to Turkey, but still I am a student, so It is hard to go immediately. But I plan to go there in summer. 
I am 21. years old.

Could we continue this conversation in some privacy chat? 

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My 2 cents:

   Marriage is a very serious institution, and fornication is frowned upon and rare especially if she is a virgin. There is a strict honor code involved, Chances are you won't be allowed to simply shack up with this girl, nor try before you buy. Normally you will have to be engaged and you would have paid a dowry. Don't pursue the relationship unless you are serious about marriage. Many people will say if she wills herself to you before marriage don't marry that girl.

   If her emotions are like a roller coaster ACCEPT IT you can't change it think of it is that is the price you pay for having someone love you so much. and from what I experienced it is the norm. then you have to accept that "you will always be wrong, when you argue and when things go wrong don't expect her to admit fault. Be prepared to be the "fall-guy" if she doesn't want her family to visit which requires a lot of work to get the house in order, and to prepare a meal, She may tell them that her husband doesn't; want guests today. It is shame to refuse her family, but she can't refuse the will of the husband (in the eyes of her parents). Don't think that marriage means slavery either, She will most likely control the house.

  I been successfully married for about 15 years and I wouldn't have it any other way..but that is me. I assume you have NETFLIX start watching some Turkish movies. (Don't worry there will be subtitles, ) Many movies deal with the topic of marriage, watch them look for correlations and then you will have a better idea what to expect. Start off with Evah-Evah, then check out Deliha. be sure to rate them and Netflix will send you a plethora of Turkish movies.

I wish you all my best 

 

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On ‎1‎/‎24‎/‎2018 at 7:02 PM, Matthew G said:

My 2 cents:

   Marriage is a very serious institution, and fornication is frowned upon and rare especially if she is a virgin. There is a strict honor code involved, Chances are you won't be allowed to simply shack up with this girl, nor try before you buy. Normally you will have to be engaged and you would have paid a dowry. Don't pursue the relationship unless you are serious about marriage. Many people will say if she wills herself to you before marriage don't marry that girl.

   If her emotions are like a roller coaster ACCEPT IT you can't change it think of it is that is the price you pay for having someone love you so much. and from what I experienced it is the norm. then you have to accept that "you will always be wrong, when you argue and when things go wrong don't expect her to admit fault. Be prepared to be the "fall-guy" if she doesn't want her family to visit which requires a lot of work to get the house in order, and to prepare a meal, She may tell them that her husband doesn't; want guests today. It is shame to refuse her family, but she can't refuse the will of the husband (in the eyes of her parents). Don't think that marriage means slavery either, She will most likely control the house.

  I been successfully married for about 15 years and I wouldn't have it any other way..but that is me. I assume you have NETFLIX start watching some Turkish movies. (Don't worry there will be subtitles, ) Many movies deal with the topic of marriage, watch them look for correlations and then you will have a better idea what to expect. Start off with Evah-Evah, then check out Deliha. be sure to rate them and Netflix will send you a plethora of Turkish movies.

I wish you all my best 

 

To a certain degree...I disagree...as I have lived in Turkey (prior to marriage) & I had a high success rate as a bachelor.  To be clear, I was in my mid-20s and a master of the PUG (pick up game)...these days I just call it practice or keeping in form lol.  There are many ladies out there they stay the high ground & opt only for no sex until after marriage (I pursued 1 for a short time)...a lot of times they are looking for serious, no kidding, you have to marry me type.  There's the other end of the spectrum that are like the women in the US/UK/EU etc...they are a little more open to different things & I welcomed that.  Granted, as a black American I didn't have to really put myself out there.  I exclusively dated my wife for roughly 8/9 months or so then I popped the question.  She was already moved in with me around the 5/6 month mark of dating (so shacking up is possible).  As a matter of fact, many guys I knew had live-in girlfriends...who in the end they got married to. 

Anyhow, her Dad didn't meet me until 1 week before the wedding.  We are now best of friends.  Again, your results may vary....but, anything is possible. 

I'll hit the 10 years married milestone this year...Matt is correct about the movies...also watch Ay Luv Yu.

No matter what...she is always right.  No matter if you show video evidence...you will still be wrong haha. 

Happy wife.

Happy life.

 

Good luck & keep us informed!

 

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9 hours ago, FenerEniste said:

She was already moved in with me around the 5/6 month mark of dating (so shacking up is possible).  As a matter of fact, many guys I knew had live-in girlfriends...who in the end they got married to. 

I totally agree! of course it is possible that is why I said Chances are.  I'm sure there are loads of women who may shack up with the promise of marriage.Turkey is very different geographically I know nothing about Jirka's GF and you have to admit Izmir is far more progressive than Adana, (and any place else East of here) I don't know where Jirka is from...I was making a general statement to someone who never been over here (your average American can only spell Turkey) My experience is slightly different, My wife was divorced, had her own house, and we were in out 30's we did shack up but only upon the promise of marriage (her father still doesn't know BTW.)

  You hit the nail on the head describing yourself as a black American, I have been in Europe 20 years and I know that people like you are considered to be quite exotic! Many women would bend their values or break tradition to date a Black American. I guess the white boy equivalent is if say George Clooney or Justin Bieber shows up on some girl's doorstep.

  I know a Turkish woman who defied her family and married a black man and after about 20 years of marriage she still can't go home. I'm not saying because he was black but because she broke with tradition. (I think she was betrothed)

   Also think of "The Alley" almost anything was possible there.

 

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