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Falling for a Turkish guy

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Hello everyone! 

I have just joined the forum and am so glad to have found a place where I can seek advice about my situation. 

I am an 18 year old girl living in Ireland. I met this turkish guy at the restaurant I started working at 8 months ago and have liked him from the start. He is 27 and has been living here for 3 years now. 

It was very obvious to me that we both had a connection from the start but neither of us worked up the guts to address the issue. We've always flirted..but in the last few months it's become so much more then that. Last week we finally talked about it and told each other how we feel. I can't quite say that we are in love yet,but it's definitely heading down that road. When he found out I felt the same way, he was left reeling. Bottom line is we both want to be together, but my parents are very religious and traditional people and there would be talk of disowning me from the family if we got together,I'm certain.

This guy..

He is like no one else I've met before. He doesn't overdo the charming thing like I've read many turkish man do...and he doesn't get touchy feel too often. But when he does,it melts my heart. He said he's been waiting for someone like me for years and he's finally found me.

Anyhow,seeing as I'm only 18 and still living with parents , I suggested that we wait a year as friends to figure out if what we are feeling is true or not,and for me to be a bit older. If we still long for each other by the end of the year, I am willing to fight for it and give it a proper shot.

I can't help but feel this tiny seed of doubt in the back of my mind that he is too good to be true and that there has to be a catch. He was born muslim but isn't awfully interested in the whole "religious" aspect of things. 

I would really appreciate any advice or opinions that people would have..it'd be a great help. 

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You should get to know each other as friends and see how you feel about him as a friend. If he is not a good friend that's important, and not just to you but you want to know how he is towards all kinds of people. Get to know his views on life and the world. Religion is just one detail and attraction is another detail, but there is much more to know about someone who you want to be your partner in life. That is why you have doubts. So, before you ever let this go forward romantically, you need to get to know each other and see if you are compatible and if he is a stand up guy in life and if he means what he says.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Are you ready to be disowned?


If you and he really are into each other and are talking serious, then start having important conversations... like were you to be disowned, would you go back to Turkey to live with his family???

Why is he here?  Does he need someone to get with to stay there, or is he fine going back to Turkey?  

What about kids?  You career?

You're young, so no need to rush things.  Enjoy your freedom.

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I agree, hold that thought until you establish yourself educationally and then financially if at all possible. If it's not possible all that will depend more on who you're with, so you would need to be more picky about choosing a mate not just for love, but more for security.

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  • 3 weeks later...

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