confused english girl

[Penguin1991 0]

This is a long story but ill try to cut it down.. im just very confused. 

I met this man in june 2015  who was a barman at an didim hotel. He lives is izmir. We hit it off straight away and ive instantly fell for him. We ended up going for "a walk" didn't know what this meant until the afterwards. I don't regret it and learnt after this that he was still a V. Until that night. He classed me as his girlfriend from then on. We had an argument and he said that i will always be in his heart but i don't know what this means. But even to this day i still love him. I went back in sept. But learnt that he went out and got badly beaten up and went back home to izmir. He wasent at the hotel when i got there and i was really upset. We have spoken since then and i told him that i missed him alot and he would always be in my heart and he said thanks with a big smile. But im unsure whether we will ever have a future. I want us too, but i dont know how to do this or how to word it. But i really love him and i dont know if he feels the same. I just wished that he did. Sorry about the rant  Any advice would be great thanks! 

[greenstein 122]

You would never know if you wouldn't live with him whether he loves you or not, beside all this story, i want to ask that what's your parents response to your action ? Are they okay with it ? You know him better than here anyone else, you know his feelings or habits or his personality, so some answers are laying inside you. Our information is limited about him so our advices would be short-coming.

[IbrahimAbi 630]

A Future would entail you living in Turkey with him, or he moving to the UK with you. Both of these options will require one or both of you to work, this in itself is a major hurdle. I guess that you are 24 years old, still young to find an 'easier' future partner. I know that this is a bit clinical but I am just pointing out the obvious.

[TaterTot 183]

He suggests that you go for a "walk" but you end up having sex?  And you believe him when he says he was a virgin?  Hey- I've got a bridge to sell you.

[Penguin1991 0]

He never said he was a virgin. It was pretty obvious. And it was his mate who kept pushing and pushing him to go for a walk with me. When i returned in October i asked his mate Burak why he made him do this. And he said because he was a virgin and he needed to have sex with a girl to fit in. He was pressured into it. And hes told me that himself. So before you post f**k*ng judgemental posts and try to make me look stupid dont bother!! 

[TaterTot 183]

Touchy!  I didn't think I was being judgmental.  I'm not the one seeking advice on a website calling myself confused. 

[Ken Grubb 1,377]

Penguin, you are getting good advice, whether you want to hear it or not. Men looking to "get laid" often work in teams of two, backing up each others' stories, creating whatever scenario is necessary, etc. It's called he "wing man" approach. It's common in the tourism industry of many countries, Turkey for sure. I've lived and worked in places where there are some very believable people whose sole purpose in life is to take advantage of foreigners. And foreigners who are not familiar with this kind of thing are easily taken advantage of.

Maybe that's not what's happening in your case. And maybe it is.

We can only speak from what we have personally learned, from our own experiences and the experiences of others. If you haven't already, search or browse the Romantic Relationships forum. We have covered this same situation quite a few times already.

If you think we are judgmental, then by all means, do whatever you want. And believe whatever you want to hear.

But there's one thing you can't do. You can't say you haven't been warned.

[TaterTot 183]

Thank you, Ken.  Even if it *were* true about the V part, I'd not want to be with a guy who had sex with me just to appease his friends.  Yuck.

[neselicocuk 6]

This is a long story but ill try to cut it down.. im just very confused. 

I met this man in june 2015  who was a barman at an didim hotel. He lives is izmir. We hit it off straight away and ive instantly fell for him. We ended up going for "a walk" didn't know what this meant until the afterwards. I don't regret it and learnt after this that he was still a V. Until that night. He classed me as his girlfriend from then on. We had an argument and he said that i will always be in his heart but i don't know what this means. But even to this day i still love him. I went back in sept. But learnt that he went out and got badly beaten up and went back home to izmir. He wasent at the hotel when i got there and i was really upset. We have spoken since then and i told him that i missed him alot and he would always be in my heart and he said thanks with a big smile. But im unsure whether we will ever have a future. I want us too, but i dont know how to do this or how to word it. But i really love him and i dont know if he feels the same. I just wished that he did. Sorry about the rant  Any advice would be great thanks! 

It is called male prostitution.

 This kind of stories make me very sad as a Turkish person. Foreigners perceive Turkey as a sex tourism country, just like male version of Thailand. 

Sorry but "having sex with customers" is just sickening.

[Ken Grubb 1,377]

You said it perfectly. Turkey is Thailand for women.