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Thalia

My Turkish Boyfriend Is In The Army - Support!

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Hi everyone out there! 

 

I am Norwegian and my boyfriend, Mahmut, is Turkish. We have been together for a while now, and he is now in the army to do his time. He has been there now for 4 months and have left 8 months. I've come here because I was hoping if there is anyone that has been in a similar situation that could maybe help me with some advice and support on how to still keep my head up and basically hang on, because right now I am at a breaking point.

 

The thing is that in April he was supposed to get a vacation time where we finally were gonna see each other again, and it's also our anniversary. This is something we have been counting down for and been excited about for a very long time. The problem now is that he told me today that when he gets his vacation time he has to work, and because of that there is no point in me going there when I won't get to see him during that time. He knows how upsetting that makes me, but then again I understand some what why he has to work. 

 

We are used to being 1 month apart where I go back to Norway, and after 1 month I get to see him again. So being away from him this long is really hard and I have never been through this before so I don't know how, or how to think, to be able to still keep my head up and hang on at this point. Many tell me to keep myself occupied and do activities at all times to make time go by faster, but my problem is that I am unemployed right now and struggling to get a job, and my life is not exactly exciting.

 

I know that I don't want to give up on our relationship and I am trying so hard to keep it all together, but right now, after he told me he can't be able meet me in April, I have a hard time accepting the fact I have to wait until he's finished until I get to see him.

 

I know I should not be complaining about this, and that there is people out there that don't get to see their loved ones for years, and it also might sound very selfish to some people. But like I said I have never been in this type of relation ship and I don't know how to keep myself both physically and mentally "stable" for this situation, and that's where I need some help.

 

Thank you and I appreciate that you are taking your time for this!!

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but my problem is that I am unemployed right now and struggling to get a job, and my life is not exactly exciting.

 

I don't know what to advise you for your relationship but this one sounds very familiar. I just wish you the best for employment. 

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Hi Thalia, 

 

My partner is also in the army although he just has to do the 6 month service. I find it strange that your bf will get a 1 week vacation in which he will work. What work - does he mean within the army or outside the army? My partner gets one day on the weekend free. Pretty sure this is a a right they have in the army. He doesn't get a week off at any time. But maybe there is a difference between the 6 month and longer service.

 

Does he call you from the army or skype you on his free day?

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Maybe you could visit him and stay in his room depending on if he has his own room. Sometimes they rent an apartment and some get their own room. Besides they would all be busy all day usually, and sometimes at night possibly they work too, so you would have the place to yourself. If he is stationed in a decent area where would be ok with visiting of course this is important too. You could ask him. Otherwise, then it is a very long time, but you know what? If you don't get to see him that long I think you will be surprised because when he is done he will be so handsome from all that training they do, so there is that to look forward to wub.png. Maybe you should start doing some type of workout so that when you two see each other you will both look great and you will feel better maybe with something to do besides looking for work. It might help you feel as if you are together by doing similar things.

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I am from Norway too and my boyfriend Turkish. We were approaching your scenario, but he first finished his Bachelor and then payed himself out of the rest ( 3 year bank loan).

 

I am not sure how the longer military service work, but I have been told that the 6 month military service - that my boyfriend were originally preparing to take - can be taken EITHER as 6 months with a sort of holiday half way, or as 4 1/2 months straight with no vacation or breakes.

I understand that the reason he has to work during his holiday from Army is that he is probably almost broke. They don't get payed a lot to stay in the Army and they still have expenses not covered by the Army. There is no reason why you can't still go him and see him in the evenings

 

Your boyfriend being away so much is a great incentive to:

- start Do It Yourself projects and send them to him

- do something for yourself, like start working out

-  begin a new hobby...for instance Turkish class! I know there is even Turkish cooking classes in several Norwegian cities now. I hope to take one myself.

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Mandatory Turkish military has 2 choices if you have a university diploma 6 month as a soldier and other is 12 months as a junior officer with pay, I am not sure what advice would be given to you other than find a job or hobby to keep yourself busy, good luck.

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