dreamergrl66 1 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Please I have been in a long-distance relationship with this man for over 4 yrs now, only Skypeing and Facebook not much more then that, promises of marriage and love, he won't allow me to come to see him, he always has an excuse of work and he can't afford to pay for me, I never ask him to pay for me but it is his so called pride that makes him believe he has to be the one to support me while i am there. I need to know how I can find him, I really need to know if he is married and that is why he is not allowing me to come see him nor meet his family. Very hurt and feeling alone here. I am losing my mind. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Ken Grubb 1,458 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Please see the numerous posts we have had about exactly this kind of thing. Chances are you are one of several this man has on the hook. I would go into more detail but I am weary of replying to posts about this same situation. I hope you haven't sent him any money. See here: Turkish Dating and Romantic Relationships IstanbulWhiteboy, REDDERS and conan198903 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IstanbulWhiteboy 383 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Move on. not worth the heartache and hassle, and definitely not worth the expense of traveling to turkey only to discover the worst. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meral 507 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 I agree with the others above (sorry Dreamergirl). If he doesn't seem eager to have you visit (whether he pays or not), then he's hiding something & isn't taking you seriously enough to make a commitment. You will understand if you read the posts Ken refers to. Forget him -- there are plenty of men around more worthy of you than that love rat. I wish you good luck! dreamergrl66 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
conan198903 185 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 Hi Dreamergirl. I agree with the posts made by other members. Chances are that he is hiding something bad from you. Best thing for you now is to move on and forget about him. Even if you found him by the slightest chance, the result might still be frustrating. So...better to end up now. Cheer up. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
IstanbulWhiteboy 383 Posted August 25, 2014 Report Share Posted August 25, 2014 frustrating and EXPENSIVE (and potentially dangerous if he's already married, which is entirely possible). conan198903 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl66 1 Posted August 26, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 26, 2014 Thank you all for your input, on some level I feel he is married because he won't allow me to come, none of his Facebook friends will tell me anything they all have an allegiance to him, they see our posts why would any human being want to use and hurt another I can't understand it, why can't people just be truthful? This makes me not want to ever open my heart again. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
conan198903 185 Posted August 26, 2014 Report Share Posted August 26, 2014 No. Don't close up your heart just because some heartless jerks tried to ruin your life. Stay happy. Live a spectacular life. These people will end up miserably. And that's when you show up in their face and give them a middle finger. dreamergrl66 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Meral 507 Posted August 26, 2014 Report Share Posted August 26, 2014 Dreamergirl, sorry to say this but you are painfully vulnerable. That jerk has taken up 4 years of your life & exploited your emotions. Whether he's married or has some other reason for keeping you at bay, he doesn't deserve an honest open-hearted woman like you. Take note of what Conan has said above --- don't close your feelings up because of him, because that's like letting him control you! It's a sad fact that people like him exist, people who use others & play around with their emotions, just as he has done with you. Put him behind you & keep your heart open (cautiously). Stay open to new friendships, because you deserve it! dreamergrl66 and conan198903 2 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl66 1 Posted August 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2014 Thank you Conan i am gonna try hard to forget him its gonna hurt like crazy but I'll try. Your right on all accounts I feel so stupid right now, I let him control me all these years, he owned me I allowed it cause I thought we would be together, never in my life before had I allowed any man to control me, not even my late husband who I was married to for 14 years until he passed away. I will try my best to move forward it will be hard I know but I have to get my life back, thank you for responding. IstanbulWhiteboy 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silkroute 59 Posted August 28, 2014 Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 In my opinion it was a cowardly act on part of this man .. I must say you seem like a remarkable person, as you displayed amazing patience to deal with this unusual situation for four years. We all have our highs and lows and are quite vulnerable.. such events certainly do leave a bad taste.. I think life is a wonderful thing as we experience different seasons, surely you will meet the truthful person in the near future, its just a matter of time if you believe in destiny. conan198903, Meral and dreamergrl66 3 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
dreamergrl66 1 Posted August 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 Hello I must say this situation has caused me to fear ever trying to trust or love another, maybe I was only supposed to have one love in my life and he is departed this world. I don't think I can love again Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Silkroute 59 Posted August 28, 2014 Report Share Posted August 28, 2014 Indeed love is a gift from God for his chosen people but again it does not last forever. I suppose you experienced love to its fullest, those memorable nostalgic 14 years, surely true love is never enough.. Please consider yourself fortunate as there are people who have never touched love. I assure you some day you will begin a new chapter, yes I do believe in miracles. dreamergrl66 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
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