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Should i trust him or never?

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Hi. I just create an account here. And i am in love with this turkish guy who is a chef working in marmaris. Not that madly in love. Can hardly speak turkish and kurdish, but just a little bit of english. Fyi, im an asian girl. We tango (video call) every night. I can say that he is putting in some effort by learning english and on the other hand, learning turkish language. He seems to be nice and happy guy. The reason why i decided to open an accout in here and create a new topic, cause' i've been coming across a few forums or topics about turkish guys (making use of peple money, visa and cheating them). I was worried and scared if he happens to be one of them.. Are all turkish guys like that? Anyone been to marmaris? I will be flying to istanbul for holiday and thought of going marmaris or mugla to visit and see him and know him in person... Give me your views guyz... I need help.

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do you live in turkey or elsewhere? it would probably be wrong to say that every single one of them is like that, but as they are notorious for visa hunting and gold-digging you would be wise to think with your head and not your heart, especially since this is apparently a long-distance thing. also you need to be aware that even if he is genuine about it, if you do become involved with him to the point of exclusivity, as "nice" as he may seem to be, you will more than likely be expected to live by his rules, and, jumping WAY ahead, if you get married you will also have to live by his mother's rules. again, there are exceptions, but they are few and far between, and usually those exceptions have lived in a "western" culture for an extended period of time. not trying to scare you, just being realistic.

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Take heed from IstanbulWhiteboy

 

It seems as if most of the romances mentioned here are with waiters or cooks. I wonder if that is a pattern and why? Ask yourself if you would date a waiter or a cook in your home country? If you would not, then you have probably answered your own questions. There are many Turkish men who are loyal, hardworking, honest and would treat you well. They will, for the most part, be middle-class, educated at least to high school and preferably university level, they will also have a good profession or vocation. I do not say that men who don't follow this description are likely to be "bad guys."

 

For more on this see: http://www.turkeycentral.com/topic/19447-real-or-fake/

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Dump him quick. You're not in love, you are being used.

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Hi

 

From the outside I can see why the others would say run away - especially if you can hardly communicate with each other. That would make the relationship hard. However saying that - I met my hubby to be in Marmaris. I never thought I would fall for a barman especially one in a tourist resort but I did and we have been together for over 2 years, He has never once used me for a visa or for money. He is independent and would hate it if people thought he was a user. But he isn't your average stereotypical 'waiter' of course I'd say that I'm bias! but without revealing his life story he has life experiences which lead to where he is now and as to why I can trust him. I know he would do anything to give me a wonderful life but we both are not materialistic and live with the means we have and are more than happy.

 

And for those that are cynical about love at first sight I believe in it. It may have taken a while for me to give in but the moment I saw him something in my stomach told me we would be together. Don't get me wrong I did NOT throw myself at him! I was adamant that I was too old for a holiday romance and had so much crap going on back home the last thing I needed was a long distance relationship but I'm glad we gave it a go. My family love him and his family love me!

 

Go slow, get to know each other, basically how I'd hope you would be in a relationship in your own country. Before hubby to be I jumped head first into a relationship and it was a disaster. I took this one slowly and it's the best thing I ever did. 

 

We are a team and no one will pull our defences apart :)

 

I hope you think about things before you decide and don't rush into any big commitments - certainly don't send any large amounts of money and take his promises with a pinch of salt until he can prove he is serious about it.

 

Good luck and keep us posted

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Hi guys... Thanks a million for the reply. Istanbul white boy, i am from singapore. Why i choose not to have any relationship with guys in my own country. Well, it doesnt turn out to be that well. And it really pissed me off. Well for this marmaris guy, he is nice and sweet. Gold-digger? Visa hunting? He doesn't seem to be like that. I even tell him that i came across forums and stories in e net regarding turkey guys behaving like this and that in a bad way. He said he is not that type of guy. Hopefully he doesnt. He brightens up my day and always make me smile... And yes... I am taking things slowly and steady. No rush. And he dont speak english that fluently and that well. So he is trying his best to learn english and on the other hand, me learning turkish..

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Nah, he lived too far away from his delivery route.  But towards the end of our courtship, the owner allowed me to ride with him. 

 

He's trying to get a job in his real profession now that he has his greencard, but it's difficult.  He still does pizza at our new home as extra cash and it gets him out of the house after watching our son all day.  Sometimes if he closes, he brings home the extra pizza.  That's convenient for me, as I teach and it's easy lunches.

 

Still, I'd trade free food for a job in his career of advertising any day.  But for tnow, it works.  At least right now, his duties are pretty low stress.  I've got enough with teaching high school for both of us.  Our school's on the verge of striking and the school board's playing dirty pool.  But I just highjacked the thread...!

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I would ask myself why or what makes you so special. That may sound wrong but if someone is being overzealous about a foreign woman when there isn't anything wrong with local women then that might be an indication this might be a sham. In short, I would find out what your competition is locally in Turkey because if there are plenty of good women in Turkey then I would ask why he's seeking someone overseas. Now if he is complaining that he is just not able to find a good woman locally because they're like this or they're like that, then, I could understand why he would be particularly interested in a foreign woman. Just my thoughts, I'm not stating anything as facts.

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You've named this thread, Should i trust him or never?

The fact that you have doubts in your mind already' .. I say go with your gut instinct. Alot of the time we don't listen to our own minds & intuition.

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Hay guys she is in love, we all learnt our lessons the hard way.. " Wise are those who learn from others experiences" I would say meet some one of your own caliber, you seem like a cool lady.Good Luck!

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