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Amy

Sexual Harrassment

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Unfortunately , reportıng doesnt work in turkey , there was a news on tv 2 days ago . şirinögretmen ( tecaher ) was stabbed by his husband 8 times in front of her son , her husbandwas detained for questionıng but then released. Moreover she had a protection order

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Although I saw the report with cctv on TV I can't find any reference to it in Newspapers.

Here's a report of another one! http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/murdered-womans-funeral-shunned-by-family.aspx?pageID=238&nID=42506&NewsCatID=341

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With their strange way of thinking, Meltem's family don't feel any disgust or embarrassment with themselves (as suggested by one commenter), but feel honour in doing what they did. They would feel dishonoured if they mourned her openly. I really do wonder if the father-in-law was taken into custody -- even if he was, he might be considered a hero in jail.

It's these attitudes which strike me as wrong, and is the reason for why these customs persist.Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image Posted Image

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Hi Amy;

Firstly, Let me say that both of the incidents are not harmless in fact they are clearly harassment. I'm sorry for what you've gone through during your time in Turkey. I feel ashamed on behalf of those primitive f.cking idiots as a Turkish man. Unfortunately this is the reality in Turkey - Sad but true. You can only be safe in a few central and good neighborhoods in Turkey like some parts of Istanbul, Ankara, Izmir (most parts), Antalya, Bodrum etc. 

 

As for your frustration not saying "f.ck off" and things like that to those harassers, I'm glad that you didn't since they wouldn't take you seriously and they might have laughed because you got angry. I can also emphasize that you couldn't defend yourself for some reason that you are in Turkey because similar thing happened to me in Aberdeen a couple of months ago. My experience wasn't a sexual harassment but to sum it up a couple man took my turn in taxi line by force and threw beer bottles from the car to me while swearing with no reason. I would normally defend myself with whatever it takes in Turkey but all I did was looking them with empty eyes - very frustrating. I stopped myself without a conscious decision because I was in another country (in which I entered with VISA) and wanted to stay out of trouble.

Anyway, once again I'm very sorry that you've gone through a serious couple of incidents and I apologize on behalf of those worthless persons if it helps. 

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Someone above said maybe she is just too beautiful and I'm wondering why someone would sarcastically imply that the woman is at fault for harassment for being too beautiful. The compliment to the victim is in defense of the harasser. Perhaps the person who said it is not very good looking or can't get the attention of any good looking women and therefore feels the need to lash out at this woman. When the woman came here and opened up about an embarrassing problem that reply was just mean. 

 

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Because she was traumatized. I would say on a positive note that if any stranger harasses you in the street in Turkey, you don't need to be afraid to yell at them, they won't touch you. In the US or other places it's risky to raise your voice because people do get violent more often.

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In Turkey, there are two kinds of people. At least I like to divide them sapiens living in here into these two categories since its easier to divide them inside my own. Some of them are arrogant, ignorant, uneducated, never seen a woman, never seen a woman beautiful, never seen a woman at all, never touched a woman since they have never seen a woman, never seen a beautiful woman because they never let the women in Turkey to be beautiful since our culture and mentality never ever lets the women to dress freely or act freely as men do and there is this other side of the continental part of this tiny world; educated, western minded ( or whatever the f minded it doesnt really depend which direction its coming from as long as they have the ethic and reasonable thinking minds the first type always outnumbers the second type in Turkey.

There is this thing which really works fine; Turkish people love to pretend like they help you in same cases. For example if theres an accident there will be a crowded circle just like you have never seen before in a party. Since most of the people are not educated about these kinds of situations they will kill the victim theirselves under the name of " first aid ". But this is not the point i want to touch. The point is; in case of any sexual harrassment or any kind of harrassment in Turkey (considering that you are not in a " IF you aint weain black all over you gonna deserve whatever comes to you biatch " area in Turkey), if you are in a public bus in a city like Antalya or Izmir or Istanbul or Ankara or you know such cities like this, just do not be scared and yell out. Believe me, even if there is a guy who raped a 16 years old girl like 30 mins ago will come out to help you. This is a fact. I mean like " I KNOW RIGHT? " . This is absurd but people are into action here. Any kind of action. They love that nationalist feeling when they help somebody out even though they will be making fun of it theirselves right after saving it. Some people might ignore to help in case of harrassment due to the victim's clothing or their believs, perspective of life. But overall, if you are in a crowded place just yell it out. Never ever give it up. Turkish people love to harrast foreigners since they feel like " well they do anything I mean they are all whores and prostitute-like they have no virginity they start to do these things at a very early age and they actually like it so might wanna give it " and most of them have never had a conversation with a foreigner directly since they have no foreigner languages loaded or installed inside their processors, they wont be able to know that you are not an alien.

This topic is a really long commentable subject container. Its very very open to discussion and all the discussions will lead to one conclusion. Most of the Turkish locales are rapists, ignorants and they see you like an alien since they do not have any idea that you might also have a family or feelings like they do. They would never let their sisters or mothers to be touched the same way OMG leave "touching " to this side, they wouldn't let them to hang around in other countries ALL ALONE. They wouldn'T let them go out of the district boundaries. Unfortunately they do appear around every corner in Turkey and the only solution will be to regenerate the upcoming generations starting from the day you are living in right now and educate them. About the trashy people in here? ( They are everywhere actually, all around the world but we have a special species group in here which are as i said outnumbered and growing each day ) They will die in 70 - 80 years. Their uneducated sons will die in 150 years ( talking about approx. longest life duration in Turkey ). This is not unpredictible that the world will suffer a lack of supplies and energy to feed all its uneducated overpopulated countries and its people so at the end of the century, the population of trashy generations will vanish off. IF the world doesnt end catastrophibically at the end of this chaos, the rich will live and poor will die. Then we might have a chance to rebuild again. And again and again. Its an infinite loop and all we have to do it wait for hundreds of years (approx. 600 years) for it to refresh itself until it has a balance. It has no balance right now. Its a mental purge out there. The solution is very sarcastic sounding and not merciful.

Anyways, Just be strong. Hold your pepper spray close and your eyes on the road. Do not make eye contact with anyone. Let them think you don't like them and you are living over an ego. Some people think if we do it this way these kinds of problems will evolve faster and they will never end since " you threat the bad bad and the good goes badder " rule applies in their terms, I would suggest to drag the world into a faster entrophy so we can end the problem ourselves faster. Evolution is progress but can be tough to catch with. At the end, the weak goes. All the time.

Just don't be weak. You can bite them whenever you want. Really. Be arrogant with the arrogants. Never belive that " every sould can be saved" hurshit. While doing that be safe and smart also. Evolution doesnt mean to have strenght psychally. It is defined and always was by the smartness. Look at the dogs alive.

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It's quite a broad paintbrush that you wield here Eren. I would be very careful about advising violence of any kind. Only yesterday I was reading about a Turkish woman who is facing jail bfor throwing a slipper at her (adult) son.

http://www.hurriyetdailynews.com/mother-faces-five-years-in-prison-for-throwing-slipper-at-son.aspx?PageID=238&NID=105814&NewsCatID=341

 

Yet the man who kicked a girl in the head earlier this year when her shorts offended him on public transport was (initially) not charged.

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Due to my poor English skills I might not be able to explain it very detailed. With yelling I do not mean wave your punches around and fight with them. The summery would be like this; Do not be afraid to ask for help even if you are going to have to do it loud. Especially if you are in a crowded place like the bus or the station. Ofc there is a dangerious side of pushing against and reflecting the harrassments going on at that moment since you can get beheaded in public also, please act cautiously. Thats what I meant by resisting but still keeping smart at the same time.

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