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Possible To Marry A Religious Turkish Women Being A Foreigner Muslim? (Would Appreciate Response From Turkish Women Only Please, Thank You)

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You sound a really nice guy Random but I'm afraid I don't agree with the following idea of yours,

Now, I believe all of you will acknowledge that the most dangerous of all people are those who dont have faith in anything,

​I think that the most dangerous people are those who are fanatical about something, whether it's faith or something else. Their behaviour is often excessive and very blinkered, not accepting any other ideas other than theirs and will often try to force their ideas on other people.

Bye the way, I'm a nice person and I've also got a sense of humour! Posted Image

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You sound a really nice guy Random but I'm afraid I don't agree with the following idea of yours,

​I think that the most dangerous people are those who are fanatical about something, whether it's faith or something else. Their behaviour is often excessive and very blinkered, not accepting any other ideas other than theirs and will often try to force their ideas on other people.

Bye the way, I'm a nice person and I've also got a sense of humour! Posted Image

Now, now, Sunny, you are spoken for, too.

And I think I know what Random means about faith and faithlessness. He is talking about (I think, correct me if I'm wrong) people who have no principles in their life whether they are religious or not. Not knowing or recognising the difference between wrong and right. The people who scare us so much that we call them "monsters" because we can't believe they are human like us.

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@Vic801 - Thanks for trying to clear up the misunderstanding. Truly appreciate [email protected] - I am really proud to say that I have friends from all walks of life. I have friends who are muslims, christian, hindu, budhdhist, athiest, and it really helped me learn a lot. What i meant to say was, someone who doesnt have any principle, someone who is unethical. These are the people who could be considered dangerous. You could consider religion to be something like a strict set of disciplines and philosophy. So, when someone has a philosophy, be it islam, budhdhism or athiesm, you'll realize that they will always have a conscience which will be absent in those without any specific philosophies. The good thing is, almost every religion preaches to become a good person. You won't find any religion which says, youll go to heaven if you rob, lie, and have a thousand girlfriends. I do understand there are differences among religions, but Im not going to get in that, since that'll be me going off-topic, but overall, I would say, the chances of a religious person doing something bad is far less than one who isn't religious because he/she won't have the fear of God to a level the religious person would. But, actually up there, I was talking about a person without conscience. So, dear sunny, dont you worry you still can't give me any negative points :P Btw, I dislike fanatics as well. Too much of anything is not good. A balance is a must. Cheers and Salam.Btw, lets not get off topic guys, dont you want a wedding invitation from both Istanbul and Dhaka? Hotels in Dhaka will be free for you :P I'm making my plans to visit Istanbul again this June, any kind of advice is highly appreciated :)

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the chances of a religious person doing something bad is far less than one who isn't religious because he/she won't have the fear of God to a level the religious person would.

Sorry to keep off topic but I have to point out that so much bad has been done in the name of religion and so many wars fought, that I can't agree with that statement.

But I do understand what you are trying to say.

Yes, we'd all love invitations to the weddings in both venues but you'll need to charter a plane to get us all there. Posted Image

Advice for when you visit Istanbul? Well, try not to see everything through rose tinted spectacles, be realistic. :)

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Yes, we'd all love invitations to the weddings in both venues but you'll need to charter a plane to get us all there. Posted Image

Now, who's got the rose tinted spectacles, me or you? :P Let's be realistic, I'll just send you a plane ticket to Dhaka :) InshaAllah, I hope that day really comes. Btw, lemme get this straight, are you Turkish living in UK?

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No I'm British living in Turkey but I have dual nationality.Aw, no charter plane? I thought we'd have a great party on the way. :D

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One of my favorite sayings is that if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. I think religion is one way to provide that moral compass. Each relgious text has guidelines. But I prefer to think people live by the tennants of their faith not out of fear, but out of love.I can see that you clearly have your mind made up to take a Turkish wife. And it's good that you are so clear that you don't want her to be "ambitous." It would be a shame for a woman to get involved with you and not know your expectations from the start.What have you tried so far- I'm sure there's got to be some Islamic matchmaker that could find you what you're looking for? How about your Imam or hoca? My family in Turkey consults theirs (and I do, now, too!) whenver we have an important decision to make.

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One of my favorite sayings is that if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything. I think religion is one way to provide that moral compass. Each relgious text has guidelines. But I prefer to think people live by the tennants of their faith not out of fear, but out of love.I can see that you clearly have your mind made up to take a Turkish wife. And it's good that you are so clear that you don't want her to be "ambitous." It would be a shame for a woman to get involved with you and not know your expectations from the start.What have you tried so far- I'm sure there's got to be some Islamic matchmaker that could find you what you're looking for? How about your Imam or hoca? My family in Turkey consults theirs (and I do, now, too!) whenver we have an important decision to make.

Hey TaterTot, thank you for understanding the point I was trying to make. Yeah, I tend to be quite determined and dedicated to what I set my mind to, and before taking a decision I also put a lot of thought into it. To tell you frankly, I haven't tried anything so far :P Nothing whatsoever. I did go on one date with a wonderful girl during this trip of mine, and we spent the entire day together, I didn't even meet her on any dating site, since i never tried one but she seemed like a very down to earth person. I couldn't proceed any further, since my trip was very short. And, I did meet some turkish locals, both guys and girls, and discussed about marriage, which they seem to have taken wonderfully. I wasn't surprised when every turkish person responded "As long as both of you are practicing muslim, why not" because after conversing with them, I realized how similar our culture is. I almost find no difference between turkish and bangladeshi cultures, the jealousy and all :P which is why I never had any problem with my ex. Btw, thanks for bringing up the brilliant idea of Islamic matchmakers, I wondered about this repeatedly, since our cultures are similar, there must be islamic matchmakers in Istanbul like there are in rest of the muslim world. That could make it so much easier. Since, that way I'll be more comfortable to bring the girl's entire family to Bangladesh for a week or two to get them familiar to Bangladesh, it'll be a pretty exotic vacation for them :P I don't understand Imam or hoca? Who are they? What do they do? Is there any way for me to contact them, maybe I can do that my next trip to Istanbul. Thanks for your ideas TaterTot, truly appreciate it. This could be THE idea! :) So, let me know, since I haven't yet come to uncover all of the secrets of Turkish societies, there are many things that I don't know of. Hope to hear from you soon. Cheers and Salam.

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An Imam is the holy man at the mosque and a hoca is a teacher. I believe in Turkey that there are matchmakers who arrange marriages, perhaps your friends would know of some or maybe their mothers would?I hope you will be able to spend more time in Istanbul so that you can find the girl of your dreams and develop a relationship with her.It was good to hear that your and Turkish culture is similar as different cultures can often lead to friction in marriage. For example, in the UK it's polite to ask if it's OK to visit family and stay for a stated length of time, but in Turkey people more or less turn up and stay for an indefinite period and whilst British people would, at the very least, take their hosts out for a meal or two, the cost in Turkey falls totally on the host.

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An Imam is the holy man at the mosque and a hoca is a teacher.I believe in Turkey that there are matchmakers who arrange marriages, perhaps your friends would know of some or maybe their mothers would?I hope you will be able to spend more time in Istanbul so that you can find the girl of your dreams and develop a relationship with her.It was good to hear that your and Turkish culture is similar as different cultures can often lead to friction in marriage. For example, in the UK it's polite to ask if it's OK to visit family and stay for a stated length of time, but in Turkey people more or less turn up and stay for an indefinite period and whilst British people would, at the very least, take their hosts out for a meal or two, the cost in Turkey falls totally on the host.

@TaterTot and SunnyThanks a lot for the explanation Sunny. Its good to know that there are matchmakers in Turkey, I would definitely go talk to my friends regarding the matter this time. Btw, I had no idea of the Imam and hoca being involved in the matchmaking matter. Since, I'm not so aware of how it works in Turkish culture, maybe someone Turkish can explain me how it works. I cant just walk to some Imam in the mosque asking for a bride, right? :P And when you say teacher, what kind of teacher? I am pretty lost here :)AND OH YEAH!! in matters of that sort, I wouldn't call our cultures similar, I would call it the same :P I guess in our culture, both Turkish and Bangladeshi, the familiy bondings are so strong, that people don't consider staying for an indefinite period in a relatives house to even be a factor to think about. I guess this trend is all over the world on country sides, because from what I perceived, the metropolitan a city gets, the busier the people of the city gets, and the busier they get, the more privacy and self-oriented people get (I won't call it selfishness, or self-centeredness since Its not a bad thing, but I guess as life become more mechanized, one values their privacy more. But, in general, Bangladesh has the exact same culture of the cost falling totally on the host and guest living indefinitely, so, upon marriage, I'll be more than happy and ready for my in laws to crash in for months by getting a place for myself with at least 4 bedrooms :P As I mentioned earlier, I truly am a family guy, so don't mind these issues at all, as long as my mother-in-law lets my wife and me to cook my favorite dishes ;P Jokes apart, someone turkish, please save and enlighten me with my questions of how to approach an Imam and hoca, because I don't want them running behind me with a stick upon my asking of THE question :P Cheers and Salam. Thanks guys for all your support and best wishes :)

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Oh dear, I have no experience at this type of thing, I'm not a matchmaker, I've only heard people mention that there are these people. Personally I don't know if Imams get involved with this sort of thing but I don't think that there would be any harm in approaching one but I would ask advice on someone who knows the guy first.Don't expect a Turkish wife to cook anything but Turkish food. Turkish people are very conservative when it comes to food and are often reluctant to try things that are different. :)I think you are a very brave man to be willing to have your MiL stay with you for an indefinite period.:D

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Boy oh boy!! That is going to be my dream come true. I so pray to Allah that it happens, and my wife refuses to cook any other kind of food. Turkish cuisine is my all time favorite, I can literally live off kebabs all my life Posted Image specially Iskandar kebab!

For the MIL part, maybe I'm just saying it because I never experienced one Posted Image

Now, lets wait for someone who has a little more experience with the words Imam and hoca Posted Image

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I was called 'hocam' by my students, it means my teacher and as I said, the Imam is the one who leads the prayers at the mosque. I believe people consult him over various issues. I'm not a Muslim myself so I wouldn't know any details, sorry.

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Most Turkish families and their relatives could populate a small city so make friends in Istanbul as somewhere in their extended family there might be a hidden beauty Posted Image

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Most Turkish families and their relatives could populate a small city so make friends in Istanbul as somewhere in their extended family there might be a hidden beauty Posted Image

Great advice!! Ill keep that in mind ;) Btw, that also means i better be nice to you in order to take advantage of your resources :P

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Courtship Turkish style

Back in 2010, I wrote for this page a long series of articles about various aspects and customs of the villages in the region my Turkish family is from, Erzurum, in the northeast of Turkey. Four or five focused on courtship rituals that have changed and adapted over the years but still are basically the same.

DEAD LINK

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While "hoca" my translate as "teacher," the hoca to which I am referring is a sprititual advisor.There are certain wisdoms a true spiritual hoca may have and can help in matters that are important. But be careful, however, as there are some sham fortune tellers who just want money.

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There are a lot of divorces in Turkey, would you consider a divorced woman? Or if she had a child from a previous marriage?Should she wear a scarf in your culture?

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Wow, this the first time i heard of fortune tellers match makers :P But its good to have another option :) Does every turkish individual know about this? Is it a general thing practiced in turkish society (conservative ones)? or is it becoming a rarity now a days? But, thanks a lot TaterTot for such wonderful advices. By the way, I need a suggestion from you. To be frank, I think I am a fairly down to earth person, not too shy, not too aggressive, and I never faced any difficulty approaching women. I wouldn't consider getting married to any Turkish women, or any other women for that matter, very challenging only if I actually lived in Turkey or had a reason to socialize living in Turkey, since I found most people in Turkey are very nice and approachable. My only problem is not having anything to do with the system itself. For example, only if I work in an office environment in a place, will I get to know people, only if I study in a school, I will get to make school friends, when I enroll myself in a chemistry lab, thats when I'll automatically have a lab partner. I hope you understand what i mean. I am relying in the matchmaking thing, only because I don't reside in Istanbul. So, in that case, I was wondering if this kind of culture persist in Turkey, since cultures can be different in many parts of the world. For example. Suppose I really like this girl at the counter of this store and I want to get to know her more, just suppose , I would think, approaching her just like that is weird, and she might consider it to be very offensive, even if I am a true gentleman with genuine intention of liking her. In that case, is that possible to approach her through a woman, maybe like my mother, aunt, or maybe senior citizen I know approaching her parents showing interest of asking for her hands? It happens in quite a lot of muslim countries I know of, so, i was just curious if Turkey is one of them or not. I know, it might sound weird to a lot of you, but you see, I am not interested in women who are gold diggers, and having no connections whatsoever in turkey makes it difficult for me to even communicate with proper islamic turkish women, and since they are religious, its not like I can start a conversation with them at a club. And me being a religious person doesnt help here either, since I wouldn't prefer dating a lot of girls. So, I am in a difficult position here :P But, yeah, worst case scenario, I'm gonna open my own little business in Istanbul to create a platform for myself in Istanbul, but thats just worst case scenario, id much rather finish the quest by flying my mother to Istanbul and surprise the girl at the Turkish delight counter by stealing her away for good, who thought she'd be working there for the rest of her life :P So, lemme know your viewpoint on this guys. And once again, thanks for such great listeners, in this case, readers :P Cheers and Salam to you all. :)

On 23.02.2013 at 11:15 PM, 'Ahududu said:

There are a lot of divorces in Turkey, would you consider a divorced woman? Or if she had a child from a previous marriage?

Should she wear a scarf in your culture?

To be honest, being a 29 years old person who has never been married and without kid, it will always be a preference to marry someone with the same marital status :) As for the headscarf, very rarely women in my culture wears the scarf :(, which I am madly in love with :S And I have seen so many women wearing headscarves in Turkey, MashaAllah. It would definitely be a dream come true to have a wife wearing a headscarf MashaAllah.

On 23.02.2013 at 1:15 AM, 'sunny said:

Courtship Turkish style

Back in 2010, I wrote for this page a long series of articles about various aspects and customs of the villages in the region my Turkish family is from, Erzurum, in the northeast of Turkey. Four or five focused on courtship rituals that have changed and adapted over the years but still are basically the same.

DEAD LINK

Wonderfully written. I almost felt like I was in one of the events. Thanks a lot for sharing. Now, at least I have some ideas of what I might have to face :P Btw, didn't know we had such a talented writer in the forum :)

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:D There may be talented writers on the forum but it wasn't me. It was written by a journalist.Sorry.

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From my experience, the more traditional Turkish methods of meeting a potential spouse are by getting the families involved. If you met a woman whom you'd like to possibly get to know, you'd have your parents contact hers and that would get the proverbial ball rolling.As for hocas, my in-laws are influenced a bit by Sufi... that's the impression I get. So that mysticism is what you may be picking up on.I'd write more, but I have to get going. If you have more questions, just fire away! I may add more later...

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From my experience, the more traditional Turkish methods of meeting a potential spouse are by getting the families involved. If you met a woman whom you'd like to possibly get to know, you'd have your parents contact hers and that would get the proverbial ball rolling.As for hocas, my in-laws are influenced a bit by Sufi... that's the impression I get. So that mysticism is what you may be picking up on.I'd write more, but I have to get going. If you have more questions, just fire away! I may add more later...

In that case, I shall be eagerly waiting for your valuable additions. Btw, when you talked about the souse getting together, how will that be possible if I come across a girl I like in a restaurant? I can't ask her where her parents live just like that, following her to her place would make me a stalker, hiring someone to gather her information would make me the head of my own secret intelligence agency :P Any idea? Because, trust me, there have been incidences where I have met some very religious turkish women working as a cashier in Istanbul, and I went to her restaurant almost everyday, so we started talking and becoming friendly, but ofcourse within her working premises, since my stay was very short. And I found her to be a super decent person, however much I got to know her, and most probably she is a very nice girl, and deep inside I wish I had a wife like her. I do understand, just meeting someone and talking to her for 10 minutes for a few days doesn't make you know the person, but I'm just saying, in cases of this kind, what would be the ideal way of approaching a turkish woman without offending her? Will making my sister involved help? Anyways, I will be looking forward to your replyes TaterTot, and thanks again :)

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You bring up so many issues, I can't begin to address them.I think some of your issue is that you don't live in Turkey. (Correct?) Therefore, everything you do is rushed and slightly desperate(no offense) because time is not on your side.If you REALLY want that lifestyle, I'd try to establish your life so you are actually living in the country whose women you want to meet. You'd then have many more options than you now have.Make sense???

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You bring up so many issues, I can't begin to address them.I think some of your issue is that you don't live in Turkey. (Correct?) Therefore, everything you do is rushed and slightly desperate(no offense) because time is not on your side.If you REALLY want that lifestyle, I'd try to establish your life so you are actually living in the country whose women you want to meet. You'd then have many more options than you now have.Make sense???

I would beg to differ, I think not some, but the main issue is that I don't live in Turkey :) which is why I tend to always look at shortcuts and rushing things which obviously is a very foolish thing to do when it comes to matters this serious :) Ok then, how long do you suggest I move to Istanbul for? Leaving my business for more than three months in a row would be difficult, maximum I can stay in Istanbul at once is three months, and then of course if needed I can go back to my country for a couple of months and come back again. Maybe I can get myself a short term rental apartment in Istanbul, get a car and feel more at home first. What do you think of this idea?

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Well, it may work or it may not but at least it gives you some chance of meeting someone, which won't happen if you don't live here.Why will you only get a short term rental? If you meet someone who is a possibility you will want to come back and visit her won't you? There's no guarantee when you will meet her, it could be in week one or it could be in week 11 and whichever, you will need a base to court her.In your earlier posts you were talking of buying a place in an upmarket area!

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