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Possible To Marry A Religious Turkish Women Being A Foreigner Muslim? (Would Appreciate Response From Turkish Women Only Please, Thank You)

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Alright guys,

I know this kind of posts always spark the flame in the hearts of many. So, Ill just be straightup and let it all out, and I would really appreciate if you all reply decently understanding that I am serious and not looking to score, instead am genuinely seeking information and help from the wonderful people who contribute to this forum. Ok, now lets talk about my case.

I am a muslim man in my late 20s. During my higher studies in Canada I met this Turkish girl and she was the sweetest thing I ever witnessed in my life. Everything that I looked for in my wife. But after I was done with my studies, I had to come back to my own country, and she had to stay back in Canada and unfortunately, somehow our relationship didnt workout. It might have been my fault, or maybe both of our fault. At the moment, thats not important, but whats important is, I lost one of the most precious persons in my life. Now, its been more than 6 years since I have come back to my country but I still cant get over her, and when I say her, I also mean the culture, way she was brought up, her dedication towards religion, etc. Overtime, all of a sudden when I understood that I have lost all interest in women from my country, I realized I was not only in love with my ex-gf but also in love with her culture. I loved everything about how the religious turkish women were. Reserved and traditional yet modern, family-oriented, in a nutshell, the kind of person I always wanted as my wife.

Now this situation put me in serious trouble, since I can't connect to girls from my country anymore, and I dont live in the country the culture of which I love from the bottom of my heart. So, here I am.

Alhumdulillah, I am in a position in my life where I have everything materialistic in life, travel the world like crazy, MashaAllah thanks to my father who happens to be an industrialist, and now I am slowly taking over my family business. But, money doesn't buy happiness if you dont have it to share with someone special. I tried to convince myself to settle down with someone from my country, but when I flew to Istanbul this year for the first time and made some friends, I realized how much I admire Turkish culture. It might sound a bit awkward, but thats when I realized deep inside I want to marry someone from Turkey, I tried convincing myself not to be specific, but the heart dont listen to anyone. You all understood that somehow over the course of your life.

So, Finally, I was genuinely wondering if moderately- religious Turkish women are willing to marry a foreigner muslim man with somewhat similar mindset like moderately - religious Turkish men. I think I am a nice person, somewhat romantic Posted Image , love to travel, a very family oriented individual. So, can someone give me an idea of how I can at least go about the process! Like, going to Istanbul and maybe renting an apartment and living there for sometime, maybe a marriage agency? Are there marriage agencies in Turkey? Or even post an ad on newspaper!! Will the family accept? Will she be willing to relocate to another country? (Although I can always visit Turkey whenever she misses her parents) Too many questions in my head now. Because I have no clue what I should do next but I just want to move forward in my life and have a family.

If you dont like my post, please ignore it, but dont be disrespectful please, because I genuinely am seeking for advice from all you Turkish friends out there, because I truly am in love with your culture and want a wife with all the qualities that your culture teaches them to have.

Thanks guys for taking the time to read this boring post. Any kind of advice and help from my fellow Turkish friends would be highly appreciated. Hope to someday see you in Turkey. Cheers

Best regards

The randomguy

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Hi RamdomGuy and welcome to our forum. I don't see that there would be a problem marrying a Turkish girl unless her family didn't want her to live overseas as you obviously have a lot to offer someone.

Yes there are on-line dating sites like this but really I don't think they are the best way to met someone as they may be just looking to marry someone to get a visa so they can leave Turkey. I would think there are marriage agencies here but I don't really know. I don't know what part of Canada you live in but maybe you could join the Turkish Society of Canada. If you read the link you will see that they hold different events, who knows you might meet someone through that. Have you got family in Turkey who would know of someone suitable or even the friends you made when you came on your visit to Turkey may know of someone?

I wish you luck and hope you find your special person. Posted Image

I have removed your other thread so that people who answer will only post in one place.

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Thanks a lot Abi for such a fast and positive reply. Just to clear up the confusion for people who would further reply to this post , I dont live in Canada, I went there for my higher education. My family business is back in my country in Asia which I am in charge of so she will have to settle in Asia if she marries me, but I do travel a lot. Btw, didnt know that there were marriage agencies in Istanbul!! Thanks for the info and best wishes. Appreciate that. Salam and Gorosoruz :)

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You are in a difficult position as you live so far away and I'm not really sure of Turkish people's attitude to people from your country as sometimes they are insular and xenophobic about foreigners. Also, girls especially, are very attached to their mothers and may not be willing to live so far away from home in such a different culture and language.To be honest randomguy, I think that you are idolising Turkish girls on the strength of one relationship and doing a disservice to your own country women. I agree that you need to spend time here to get to know Turkish culture and people better before you can go further.If you Google Istanbul dating agencies you will find quite a few listed.

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Hi randomguy and welcome. I saw you mentioned in chat that you spend your time between Bangladesh and Dubai, You and Turks may be Muslims but there the difference ends.

The culture and lifestyle of Bangladesh and for that matter all Asian countries iare very different to Turkey. The status of women in Asia and Bangladesh in particular is considerably inferior to men . Whereas in Turkey women have equality and polygamous marriage is against the law, whereas in Asia it is still rife. Sunny has made some excellent points regarding Turkish insularism. There are so many differences , I believe your quest may be impossible.

Imagine if you will any foreign woman taken to a developing country, she cannot speak the language the weather, the culture and habits so different to her own, separated from her family and all she loves with a husband that travels regularly, she would be no more than a bird in a gilded cage. You have I believe an idealised view of marriage based on a brief friendship.

On a general note there has been political tension between Bangladesh and Turkey for sometime and it escalated further in December 2012

We desire nothing so much as what we ought not to have. ....Publilius Syrus 100BC

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Hello Aston,I really appreciate your insight on the matter. You see, I am very much aware of every single point that you have mentioned, and I believe if I were you, I would've responded with similar points that you have come up with. But there are some issues that cannot be understood if not experienced practically. The way a lot of people see Istanbul as a place completely different than the rest of the Turkey, the way Moscow is considered to be a city completely out of touch with the rest of Russia, Dhaka (the capital of Bangladesh) is completely different from rest of the Bangladesh. At the moment, it is almost as modern as Thailand, but thanks to the failure of our government's tourism campaign, all people think of when it comes to Bangladesh is poverty, despite the fact that at the moment we have the 3rd largest shopping mall in the whole of Asia, and this is just an example, not that I expect someone to marry me for a shopping mall :) I am just saying, living in Dhaka, there are places that are as luxurious as Etiler and Bebek, so dont think the physical living environment is going to affect her so much.Now, as for the culture, since I have lived in Canada for quite a long period of time, I consider not to confine myself to a specific country. I consider myself to be a global citizen, since I am Alhumdulillah, a very well traveled individual with connections all over the world. Just to give you an example, I have a chef who cooks me cuisines of different countries each day, that means, I eat Bangladeshi food only once or twice a week. Food issue solved, but I would love to stick to Donner kebab, Adana kebab, and Iskandar kebab for a long long time, since Turkish cuisine is one of my favorites. Food issue solved :) Btw, I have made quite a lot of turkish friends during my last visit to Istanbul, and also had a Turkish girlfriend for a couple of years. So, its not like I dont know and understand Turkish culture. Sure, its very polarized, it will not be right to generalize, a part of Turkey is very conservative and some parts very liberal and westernized. Although I love and respect this polarization about Turkey, my girlfriend was more on the religious side, which I loved about her. And, i noticed, there is much less difference in all aspects in the way we think between moderately conservative Turks and moderately conservative Bangladeshis. There must have been a reason why my Turkish girlfriend thought our marriage would have been very much possible.As for family, my family is very open minded, my sister is already married to a foreigner muslim, and my parents were very welcoming of my ex - gf and the feeling was mutual. Its tragic, that I have lost her, a lot of the fault lies to me, but no point talking about it, since I cant undo the past. Hence, moving forward and asking for advice to you wonderful people.As for the traveling part, you completely misunderstood me, my business is mainly within my country, but I love the travel the world. Alhumdulillah, Allah has given me enough blessings and capaibility to travel on a regular basis. My industries are run by my father, me and my brother. So, we take our turn and go on vacation every three months or so. So, I meant, if she wanted, I could easliy take her back to Turkey after every 4 months, since we will be vacationing every three months to different countries anyways. I still think, a little thing called border created by man himself should not limit us from exploring our horizons. 5 years ago, If I didn't take some foolish decisions, I would've been married to the best wife I could ask for, who happens to be Turkish, no point going back in the past, but throughout our relationship, she did seem ultra happy to shift to Bangladesh, and I am sure she took all the aforementioned matters into consideration before taking such an important decision in her life. Anyways, lastly, political matters! There are even stories of Israelies and Palestenians getting married, and Mr. Erdogan seems to be a very clever politician, because he knows how to handle matters. When the political tension between Turkey and Bangladesh was going on, I was celebrating New Years in Nisantasi. The matter has been solved, as far as I am know , although, I dont think that would have anything to do with my marriage to a Turkish person, unless she is a politician herself :PI genuinely admire you bringing up the points Aston and would find your response to this explanation of mine highly valuable. Tesekkur Edirim again for taking the effort of reading my long boring posts and replying. Salam and Cheers. Gorosoruz :)

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You are in a difficult position as you live so far away and I'm not really sure of Turkish people's attitude to people from your country as sometimes they are insular and xenophobic about foreigners. Also, girls especially, are very attached to their mothers and may not be willing to live so far away from home in such a different culture and language.To be honest randomguy, I think that you are idolising Turkish girls on the strength of one relationship and doing a disservice to your own country women. I agree that you need to spend time here to get to know Turkish culture and people better before you can go further.If you Google Istanbul dating agencies you will find quite a few listed.

Hello Sunny,Lol, my position is diffuclt for sure. To tell you the truth, before my visit to Istanbul, I heard a lot of things about it, but now I am totally in love with the place. So much in love, that I an considering buying an apartment there, maybe during my next visit. Specially, the view of the Bosphorus from Etiler is breathtaking. And, buying an apartment In Istanbul might also address the issue of their attachment to their mother, we can also live in Istanbul for maybe a couple of months in a year. I think the more you travel the world, your psychology tends to change, as I just feel Istanbul is 8 hours away from me. Well, not everyone in every country is like-minded. To give you an example, during this trip to Istanbul, I have made many turkish friends. Some of their were content with their country, but some of them really didnt seem to be wanting to live there. When I told them how beautiful Istanbul was, there responses were unexpectedly negative. I guess there are people with different perspectives in every single country. But, I really am thinking of staying in Istanbul for a while, but I am very familiar with Turkish culture. Btw, I did google your recommendation, Thanks for the help. Appreciate your insight. Cheers. :)

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I was very pleasantly surprised at your response to my post. After reading your reply I am sure that many women would be queuing up to be your bride Posted Image

You seem to be a very blessed and open minded man, I truly wish you well on your quest to find Miss Right. Good luck Posted Image

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I agree with Aston that you seem to be an open minded man whom life has dealt with generously. I wish you luck in your search. :)

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@Aston - I am glad to discover that your response turned positive from mission impossible :) Thanks for your wishes. InshaAllah I'll let you know when I find my Ms. Right :P

@Sunny - Thanks Sunny, best wishes are all I need at the moment :)

I hope you have plenty of money if you're wanting to buy a place there Posted Image

Good luck with your search.

Lol, will you believe me if I say real estate prices in Etiler, Levant, Bebek is same as real estate prices in prime residential areas of Dhaka (capital of Bangladesh)? As a matter of fact, it might sound ridiculous to you but Dhaka's real estate is even more expensive than that of Dubai's. So, dont worry, I've done my homework before planning to get an apartment in Etiler, but thanks for the headsup! Appreciate that :)

Salam and Cheers

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I am so sorry you haven't found the one for you! But something that sticks with me about your story is that you seem to think that all Turkish women are like your ex-gf. I think you're still not over her and even if you do find another one similar to her, it's not really fair to that woman, since she'll only be a replacement version of your past love.But if you ever do find "the one," if she's Muslim and you clearly are, then all should be good!Best of luck and Inshallah, you will find her!

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I am so sorry you haven't found the one for you! But something that sticks with me about your story is that you seem to think that all Turkish women are like your ex-gf. I think you're still not over her and even if you do find another one similar to her, it's not really fair to that woman, since she'll only be a replacement version of your past love.But if you ever do find "the one," if she's Muslim and you clearly are, then all should be good!Best of luck and Inshallah, you will find her!

Dear TaterTot,You are very right. I still haven't gotten over her and am very much aware of the fact that it'll be unfair of me to compare the woman I shall marry to my ex-gf. I think its a very natural thing instinctively built-into our brain to compare, but as long as I am aware of it and dont let that affect my relationship, I believe I should be fine. But, thanks a lot for bringing up such a good point, hence, making me more conscious on the issue. Despite bad past experience, I still believe I'll be in love with my to be wife even more than that. What can I say? Im a believer :) Thanks for your good wishes. Cheers.

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Well, I don't know how old you are, but I pretty much gave up on finding my soul mate and then, at 37, he came along! Then, I realized what the long wait was for! Posted Image If I had met him sooner, I probably would have screwed it up! You know what worked for me? I made a list of 100 qualities in my ideal husband. It took the better part of an evening. I made the list really specific, too. It's a lesson in manifestation/magical thinking. Or call it prayer put into action, if you prefer. But he came along within months, alhamdulillah!

Why not try it? It may even help to get over your ex; you may see the reasons why it didn't work out. And then when/if your new special person comes along, you'll see how she's the real right one for you, independent of your past.

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Well, I don't know how old you are, but I pretty much gave up on finding my soul mate and then, at 37, he came along! Then, I realized what the long wait was for! Posted Image If I had met him sooner, I probably would have screwed it up! You know what worked for me? I made a list of 100 qualities in my ideal husband. It took the better part of an evening. I made the list really specific, too. It's a lesson in manifestation/magical thinking. Or call it prayer put into action, if you prefer. But he came along within months, alhamdulillah!

Why not try it? It may even help to get over your ex; you may see the reasons why it didn't work out. And then when/if your new special person comes along, you'll see how she's the real right one for you, independent of your past.

Very happy for you TaterTot upon your success of finding your soulmate :) . The list seems to be a great idea, which I think I already have written down a thousand times in my mind :P But my list is actually pretty simple/straightforward and not so specific. In fact, its so simple I can sum it up in 5 points. 1. A good soul. 2. Family oriented (loves kids) 3. Islamic 4. Loves music, food, movies 5. Loves traveling more than shopping :P I am a musician myself, so it'll be nice if she appreciates that and finally I like to stay fit, that means hitting the gym regularly, so it'll be great if she joins me. Pretty basic right? :) I know, there is a lot more to it than all these things, but actually just A GOOD SOUL is all that matters ultimately. Btw, in order to make that list, first I have to fly to Istanbul, which I should be doing sometime this year soon. Its funny how some people after reading my post initially thought I was around 60 years old, I am actually 29 years old :P Thanks for your insightful reply. Cheers and Salam.

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Having seen your list RG, I think you are looking for a saint. :) Come on, what woman enjoys travelling more that shopping? :DAre you willing to compromise on any of those points? What if she doesn't like the same type of music? Or what if she is a Muslim but doesn't cover her head? When love strikes it doesn't take into account specific factors, what then?

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Well, I like anything better than shopping, unless it is food shopping of course. I can't see how anyone can get excited about trailing around shops. So liking travelling more than shopping seems quite reasonable to me. On the other hand the idea of "hitting the gym" would make me run a mile.And as Sunny says - what happens if she loves you, but hates your music?

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I don't think your list is unreasonable. In fact, I meet all your criteria! Posted Image I'm spoken for, though! But it proves my point about the "need" for her to be Turkish. That, to me, should be incidental to the qualties of the person. I don't want what I say to sound too harsh, but in a way, you're being prejudiced- but in a "good" way, presuming that a Turkish woman has everything you're looking for. Maybe, in your persuit of that one quality, you're missing out on a lot of great potential mates.

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And as Sunny says - what happens if she loves you, but hates your music?

LOL, then Ill just marry her and buy a very expensive headphone for myself :P

Having seen your list RG, I think you are looking for a saint. Posted Image Come on, what woman enjoys travelling more that shopping? Posted Image

Are you willing to compromise on any of those points? What if she doesn't like the same type of music? Or what if she is a Muslim but doesn't cover her head?

When love strikes it doesn't take into account specific factors, what then?

Let me tell you my little secret, I like a bit of shopping myself. So, dont think im gonna make a big fuss about that :P You see, in life the more rigid you become the more disappointed you'll have to be. So, I really take it easy, for me the foundation is very important. I'm fine with a woman who is a moderately practicing muslim and doesnt wear headscarf, or a woman who doesnt like my kind of music, these are really petty issues compared to that of having a GOOD SOUL, which is vital. In other words, I believe when love strikes, it just does, and thats when compromising for someone special starts becoming the best feeling in the world. I believe, someone who never knew how to compromise, never fell in love :P

I don't think your list is unreasonable. In fact, I meet all your criteria! Posted Image I'm spoken for, though! But it proves my point about the "need" for her to be Turkish. That, to me, should be incidental to the qualties of the person. I don't want what I say to sound too harsh, but in a way, you're being prejudiced- but in a "good" way, presuming that a Turkish woman has everything you're looking for. Maybe, in your persuit of that one quality, you're missing out on a lot of great potential mates.

Already spoken for....Oh, darn in! :P

What can i say, I guess I am too much in love with your country, its history, people, and specially Doner, Adana, and Iskandar kebab :) and want to have them for the rest of my life without having to go to Turkish restaurants every other day :P

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I see that you have one thing (at least) that is very important and that is a sense of humour, and you don't mind me teasing you. :D

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I see that you have one thing (at least) that is very important and that is a sense of humour, and you don't mind me teasing you. Posted Image

Just sense of humour!! Oh no, Im totally heartbroken now :( Thought I'd earn a little more points than that from you :P

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No, you misunderstood - I said 'at least' so there are more....... :)

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I would add that to your list too, randomguy. Some people are what you would call good souls, are nice and caring and fundamentally good, but take everything you say at face value, so add sense of humour to your list because yours is quite fun and it would be great to have someone to share it with.We may tease, but I remember a friend wanting help to do her list for the perfect man. We had great fun and I learned a lot about her expectations that I hadn't realised she took seriously. The next part was even harder: to draw up a list of the qualities you think you have! It is surprising to find how our perceptions of ourselves are different from how we are perceived by others. In any case, we drew up a perfect list of the perfect man for her and she ended up happily married with a perfectly imperfect man who was perfect for her!(What I meant was, that the man she did marry actually had very few of the qualities and qualifications she'd been adamant about on her list.)

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But that's my point, Random... I'm NOT Turkish; American! Posted Image

I'd really think hard about trying to separate out the "Turkish" qualities vs Islamic values vs the traits of the individual.

If you love the culture so much, there's no reason you couldn't find a wife of whatever ethnicity and move to Turkey.

Allah forbid, something would ever happen to my husband, I'd not necessarily rush out to find a replacement Turk. The reason why we fit so well together has nothing to do with him being Turkish. In fact, sometimes, I think it's DESPITE it, lol! There were so many potential reasons why we "should" not have been a good mix- culture clash, distance from his family, struggles of him relocating... But when it's meant to be... So don't discount any woman just because on the surface she's not what you thought you'd want on paper.

So I'd really try to relax about the whole thing. I know it's difficult, but think of it as trying to grab a handfull of sand- the more you try, the more it slips through your fingers. At least you're a guy and don't have the added pressure of a biological clock ticking like us ladies!

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@[email protected] Vic801, I'll take that as a compliment :) Well, who wouldn't like a partner with a sense of humour, but I still think that could be too much to ask for, as I've mentioned earlier, the basics are very important for me, the ones which makes you a human. Unfortunately, these days, it is difficult finding a nice person, let alone a nice person with a sense of humour :P And I totally understand how one can be happy with a perfecly imperfect person, when the magic happens, if it does, the imperfections tend to become the best qualities in your partner.You are very right TaterTot, confining myself to a single country could seems very absurd. But I have to tell you frankly now that you guys have become such wonderful people in guiding me...cheers to that :) You see, everybody has the right to like what they choose to in life. If you like the color red, and I like the color black, it will be wrong for me to be judgemental about your liking and bring up a silly point like, hey, red is the color of blood, its not a good color :P That was just an example to help you understand my situation. I have liking towards some qualities which unfortunately are very difficult to find in my own countries, even in my neighboring countries :( I can't exactly call myself a very conservative muslim, since I love music, play musical instruments, watch all kinds of movies, dont have the long beard and all. But, that doesnt mean, I go clubbing, drinking, and do unethical things. Somtimes I don't even pray five times a day, but I try, and I believe with time InshaAllah I wll become a better muslim the more I gain knowledge of my own religion. That's why I call myself a moderate muslim, but thats just my opinion. Now, I believe all of you will acknowledge that the most dangerous of all people are those who dont have faith in anything, even if someone is an atheist, but if that person believes in certail principles, he/she will be good at heart. So, whether one is christian/muslim/hindu/budhdhist - as long as they are practicing their religion, you'd notice that they would have a certain level of principle in life in comparison to those who dont practice religion. So, therefore, I am very keen on marrying a practicing muslim wife, which unfortunately has become very rare in Bangladesh. Just the way many westerners are converting to Islam, many Bangladeshi women are becoming more western mentality-wise, which I am not say a bad thing, but something which I am not looking for in my wife, and thats just my opinion, a right which as a human being I can practice. I admire and respect women who wear headscarves from the bottom of my heart MashaAllah. It demonstrates the strength of their faith. Unfortunately, in Dhaka, where I live, less than 1% of women wear headscarves. Other than my ex-gf, I have met many muslims from many different countries, and from my experience have witnessed the practicing muslim/christian women to be less hyper, aggressive, feminine relative to the non-practicing ones.Hence, my inclination towards Islamic women. Its not like I dont receive random friends request on facebook from girls, I do, but I cant persuade myself to go for something which won't have a meaning to my life. Im a simple guy, I want a wife, a big family, travel the world with her, take care of her parents the way she takes care of my parents (not that I'll propose to live in the same house :P, ). In short, I am a family oriented person, who MashaAllah has plenty of time to give to family. Therefore, I realized, an ambitious women won't do any good for me, because I would like a women who would be more home-oriented. There are two reasons people work 1. For their passon 2. For money. Now, if my wife wants to keep herself occupied and is into boutique, I can open up one for her, but she doesn't need to work for money, and I'd like her to do things she loves to do, and spend more family time, because I myself will spend more family time, so i dont wanna get back home and find my wife working somewhere else. On our anniversary, when I surprise my wife with a ticket to Hawaii, I dont want her to say, oh no, my boss will not let me take a vacation for a week. I hope I could convey my message clearly without offending anyone. I am not against ambitious women, but they arent just my type :) And, nowadays, most of the Bangladeshi women I have conversed with seems to have ambitions as great as that of Alexander the Great's :P All these issues explains why I was so much in love with my gf from Turkey. She wore the headscarf, spoke softly, family oriented, home oriented, dressed modern but modestly. MashaAllah. And during this visit of mine to Istanbul, I realized, so many of the women I have conversed with who wore the headscarf, even some who didnt, were so much like that. Forgive me, if Im making you think that I am comparing them to my ex. I am not, truth is, every quality that I looked in a woman, she had. So, in other words, I found so many other turkish women who had almost every quality I looked for in a wife, not in a girlfriend. Hence, my fondness towards Turkey. Not to forget mentioning....Istanbul would make a wonderful wonderful place for the in-laws. Marrying a syrian, lebanese, UAE local, won't let me praying in the 500 years old Sultanahmet mosque, visit the 2000 years old Ephesus, walk around the famous Hippodrome of Constantinople drinking Sahlep in a cold night overlooking 1500 years old AyaSophia by Justinian, and become greeted as Haaji by wonderful Turkish people with unfathomed hospitality :P Oh, Turkey! :P You gotta understand guys, afterall, Im one history buff, and for a history buff, mother-in-law living in Istanbul is like a dream scenario :P Cheers and Salam.

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