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Address At Time Of Marriage - On Registrars Records?

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TracyM

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Hi All,I am trying to locate the home address of someone who lives in Marmaris.

When someone marries in the UK, they give their home address at that time to the Registrar and I imagine that its kept at the Registrars Office, along with the other marriage details.

Is it the same in Turkey? Would the Turkish Registrar's office in Marmaris have the home address of both bride and groom at the time of the marriage ?

If so, Is this information available to view at the Registrars Office by members of the public?, or could I request this information from them by e-mail.

I have the date of marriage - 20th November 2011, both parties names, the man's date of birth, the name of his (hometown village).

Both bride and groom are Turkish.

Thank you and kind regards xx

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Hi Abi, x many thanks for your reply, its really appreciated. :-) I have found 'him' on Facebook, although he is hiding. Unfortunately ( for me ) he is being very carefull, and in the last year there are no clues whatsoever about where he lives or works. He is a hairdresser, and worked in Blue Bays Hotel 2008, Club Excelsior 2009 & 2010 and possibly Cettia Hotel in 2011. An emailed enquiry to the hotels last summer about if he still worked there came up with nothing. I dropped in by surprise/unexpectidly to Cettia Hotel in summer 2011 and although they definately knew him, he wasnt there.

I turned up out of the blue at his last apartment, but that had changed ownership and noone 'knew' him or where he had moved onto.

I find it strange that his best 'friend/employee' wont even tell me where he is, even though aparently he hasnt paid him the 1000 euros he owes him for the time he worked for him !?!? - I dont believe him, I thinks its just an excuse - I think they cover for each other.

We had a 3 year relationship. He took my £13,500 , my clothes, everything I had and married someoneelse behind my back. Didnt even say goodbye. I found out by accident. I almost passed out when I found out. The only contact has been from his turkish wife, she kindly text me to say that she had burnt my cloathes and all my kitchen stuff, I had been getting together for our life there, and he was looking after it. I thought I could judge peoples characher, but not anymore.

I feel a complete idiot. He was so understated, I believed him.

For once, I want to surprise him. This is why I want to know where he lives or works. Any ideas where to look next ? Thank you and kind regardsXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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A very unfortunate situation, but what would you do if you found him? You are not going to get your money or anything else back. He is married to someone else. If you create problems he can call the police and it is you who, most likely will end up in prison, fined and deported.

No matter how frustrating, I would cut your losses and forget about this man. He is one of those who gives Turkish men a bad name and we try to warn women about, but all too often unfortunately, they do not heed our warnings.

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I did wonder when I read your opening post that there was something more going on. Unfortunately, as Sunny said you won't get anything back. Even If you have proof that he stolen your money etc you would have to take him to court. If you did that it could cost you more money than you lost in court fees and take years with no certainty of winning.

It could be true about him not being paid as we know some employers don't pay their staff. However, it could also be true that his best friend/ employer is covering for him and that he was paid. I doubt you will ever find out.

​If you think by confronting him it will shame him into giving you back the money he took from you, it won't work. People that do things like that have no sense if shame and don't have a conscious. I wouldn't be surprised if he has done it before to someone else.

Whilst you may feel like an idiot, and whilst it no consolation to you, it has happened to many other woman in the past who have lost really huge amounts of money and unfortunately it will keep happening in the future.

Sunny is right, you do have to try and move on with your life and forget about him. It's going to be very hard for you and will take time to get over this, but you can do it.

I just want to say I'm sorry that this has happened to you and wish you all the best for the future. Posted Image

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Dear Abi and Sunny,Many thanks for taking the time to reply, it means a lot.

Before this happened, I had no idea these kind of cons went on. Its only since it happened to me and I have been searching the internet, that I found out how much it does occur, and the events which have happened to other women. I am so very sorry to hear what I have read has happened to others, I am appalled. My heart goes out to those women, The emotional and financial devastation they have been caused.

He never let his mask slip. There seamed to be reasonable reasons for everything that happened, which never made me doubt him or his intentions. I dont want to bore you with all the details of my experience but I would like to write down a few. In hindsight he was very clever and cruel. The plan for us to be together was for him to be able to make enough income to look after us both, by renting his own hairdressing shop in Marmaris so that we could have the financial stability for me to look after our home (and children).

He was working in the hotel hairdressers mentioned, during our relationship, while at the same time looking for a suitable available shop " for us ". After 3 years waiting for a suitable shop to become available, all of a sudden he found one and there was a desperate hurry to find the money needed in time before someone else took on the lease and we would be back to square 1. He said he had some money, but would I 'help' him with the remaining amount he needed as it would mean that we could finally live together in Marmaris. I told him (nicely) that I didnt have the amount he asked for, and he then said that he would borrow the money (from dubious scources and hinted that it was a - you dont pay me back, I will break your legs kind of gangster types). After 3 years, I was in love with him and the thought of him using this type of moneylender scared the hell out of me, we couldnt live with this hanging over our heads, I was frightened he would be hurt and there was no way I wanted that....i appreciated that we come from different economic backgrounds .....

So, I got the £12,500.00 from a loan, so that 'we could be together'. The next time I went there, he vanished into thin air. 4 weeks later, he married a turkish girl.

He never loved me, he never cared about me. He used me ALL IN THE NAME OF LOVE, FOR MONEY.

He never seamed like a player. He fooled me.

He was so quiet, so understated, he never overplayed anything. Wsed to do real things, like he took me fishing with him day after day, he took me everywhere on the back of his bike, we cooked TOGETHER (unusual for a guy I thought ) but he loved it when we did all sorts of things together. We laughed a lot. We didnt have massive rows because we explained stuff to each other. And we wanted the same things, a nice little family and a healthy, peacefull life, so I believed him.

I thought I had met a man of integrity, but it was all a lie, everything. He knew what he was doing and it was only to steal my money, in the name of love. For greed.

His wife is Turkish, a (fake) blonde status symbol for him. She kindly text me to say she had burnt all my personal belongings. I then rang the number in tears to ask him why do all this, and she answered, he took the phone and said, " It doesnt matter what I do to you, you are nothing " ! ......

And then they both just laughed and laughted their heads off at me and put the phone down.

I am trying to recover, but am finding it so hard to get my head around it. If a relationship doesnt work out I can handle that, but I believe it was allways his intention to rob me and anailiate me. Everyone who meets him, says what a wonderful person he is.

This individual is not a man he is a mouse. His heart is really black.

I am STILL standing, although I feel like crumbling all the time, and he hides his face in the shadows, where he lives. His fake world of smoke and mirrors, where no-one really smiles for the right reasons.

Thanks for listening. Women please beware, the hurt is staying with me for such a long time and others have endured x1000 worse than me xxxPls take care xx

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TracyM thank you for writing that. It couldn't have been easy.

Unfortunately, there are too many, as you've now found out, of these men who seem perfectly plausible and genuine until they get what they are after, whether it is money or visas. They do not seem to have a conscience and it's a game to them to try to con women.

I hope that you are strong enough to put this awful experience behind you and go forward in your life.

I send you a cyber hug.

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I'm going to take the moral underpass here and say it might be worth getting someone to see if is fingers bend backwards.

You won't get your money back that's a given, however just a little reminder to him about how much he hurt you might make you feel some sort of justice. It would with me anyway.

Having someone laugh in my face whilst they're sitting on nearly 40,000tl of my money wouldn't be laughing for much longer.

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My heart goes out to you TracyM Posted Image even if your case is one of many I always find it mind boggling to what extend this men go and how much energy and time they are prepared to invest in what turns out to be a con in the end :(

In your case and in how you describe your relationship in my opinion it is quite possible that he didn't set out with the plan to con you and maybe had some feelings for you, just not enough, and when he met the woman he wanted (although she sounds awful) he probably had to prove to her that he had no more feelings for you. She must be very jealous of you, otherwise why go to such length to rub your nose in it?? if he was just leading you on to steal from you, surely the quieter everything was kept the better?

In the end though Abi and Sunny are right, you wont get your money back and for you to confront him could seriously backfire, this all seems to be a couple of years ago now, don`t give this people the power to ruin your future, they have already taken enough from you

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dear Abi, Sunny, Clinky and Mouse 64,:-) thank you for listening and replying.xI found it really painfull to write what had happened, but it was also a relief to say these things. I was so glad to hear your perspectives on the events which occurred too.

His actions were a con in the end.

We first met face to face, and after many trips it felt real. :-) After reading your comments Mouse64, I realised that I had allowed them to crush me with that awfull phone call. I hadnot been able to see it from the point of view that you kindly observed. Yes, I see it now and your words explained what I couldn't see for the last 15 months. I'm free from the sadness it caused me, thanks to you. I want you to know how much it has helped me along. :-) xI had felt so fustrated when I realised realistically that I wouldnt have the opportunity to confront him about the con face to face. It seams so wrong that he has got way with his con and he is the one who is protected from even having a face to face conversation with me, now I know the truth. To carry out his con, he concealed the truth from me. I so felt that I needed to confront him as this would have helped me with closure a long time ago. I now accept this is not to be, because he is a coward.

I dont know his delightful (fake) blonde Turkish wife personally, who told me she had burnt everything of mine and laughed and laughed at the con, in a different situation, with different people could be a nice person, but somehow I doubt it. From photos Ive seen, I interperate her body language as sullen, sulky and arrogant, so perhaps it is better that he is married to her. :-)His turkish wife looks high maintenance (nothing wrong with that) but fake hair, fake nails, makeup, ghastly cloates and gold jewellry all require a constant stream of money to maintain. I know he hasnt worked for the last 3 months and when the money which he stole from me runs out, I am very wary that he may try to obtain more money by conning other women, to fund a lifestyle which isnt covered when he works for £15 a day ( if he is to be believed ). Just for reference purposes he is 30 years old (b day 1st December) from Osmanbuku village in the province of Aydin.

In hindsight the resort environment seams rife in jealousies and all the devious evil behaviours that go with this. Who knows, one day his world with his trophy wife could implode. What a horrible place it is.

By a fluke, I saw the inside of his current flat, it was a revelation, it had harsh strip lighting, no flowers, drab walls, no nice colours like 'our' flat had. I didnt need to go there for this to answer the questions in my head. The flat said it all. It was soul less. I am an office administration worker and it will take me a considerable time to pay the debt he has conned me into, but he no longer has my heart. I can finally look properly towards the future, taking small steps along the way.

My work colleagues tell me Im fun, they like my style clothes and I have a lovely smile.:-)Thank you Mouse64, you mended me x I send you love back xPlease take care ladies. xxx

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I'm so glad that Mouse has helped you to get over this awful time. I hope now that you will start taking steps to a good future and have lots of fun with your friends and perhaps, one day, meet someone to love, who is worthy of you.

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