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Christmas Is Over

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Louisecos11

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Hope everyone has had a lovely Christmas! Mine was very busy and chaotic having a new baby niece with us! But now Christmas is over and I have nothing to do I'm finding cos being in the army the hardest it's been so far! He is back at his moms for a week now and I had a long convo with him today and it was sooo nice to have a proper chat with him but I got very sad on the phone and realised how hard it is and he was trying his best to comfort me and tell me we will be fine but my mind keeps planting doubts in my mind :( I love him so much and I really want this to work so I hope I snap out of this soon!! Spending Xmas with the family has made me realise how terribly hard it would be to leave them too and that's planting the seeds of doubt too :( what's more important family and staying here with them or love and moving for my man.......it's all becoming a bit much I think I just need to take a time out and get back to the reason why all of this started hmmmm

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I think at times like Christmas it tend to make you think a lot about family ties. Whilst I don't want to put a downer on your relationship I'm glad to see that you are taking time out to think it through.

When you marry any foreigner it's a hard decision to make about where you live. If you can't live away from family and friends it may be a possibility for him to go and live in the UK if he is willing to leave his family behind as you know. But.... there is always the risk that after a time he may decide that he doesn't want to live in the UK and say that you will have to return to Turkey with him to live.

I would say listen your inner voice, take your time and think carefully. Coming to Turkey for a holiday and living here full time are 2 totally different things. Maybe you could come and live in Turkey for a year before you commit yourself to marriage and see how you feel after that.

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Louise you sound to me as if you have "the blues" .

Countless women have been in your shoes and I have read many posts relating the roller coaster of emotions they all go through. One day over the moon because a phone call, a text or a gift has been received ,planning the next time he has leave so they can meet and then down in the doldrums for no reason other than you can't hear his voice or see him when you want.

Don't forget its hard for your boyfriend too, he is in the Turkish army not at a Club Med resort.. Its the age old story of the men going off to the army and the woman being left behind. Thank the Lord he is not in Afghanistan or another worn torn place,

Christmas as we all know is a time for family and things have a rosy glow. Turkey is just over three hours flight from the UK, to put it in perspective its more than seven hours from London to Glasgow by road or rail. As Abi said live in Turkey before you marry if you are so worried

Your doubts and fears are normal but this army period like everything in life will pass, just keep the faith. and keep busy.Posted Image

.

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Thank you both, the plan after the army is for me to move straight there so I guess we will just have to see what happens. Abi he has said he would move for me if it's 100% what I wanted but he really does want me to give turkey a go foray and because of the immigration law changes made he wouldn't be able to come to the uk to live because I don't warn enough to get him here so o don't have an option really, if I want to be with him I will have to move.

I think this really will be just a time will tell sort of thing, I may come to realise its not the life that i want and its not for me anymore or i might not and know he is 100% wjat i want. I suppose if it's meant to be it will be x

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Dont worry we all go through it! You even will struggle sometimes when your even living in Turkey! You are at the beginning of your journey and you will cry alot, i know i did. You spend so much time just waiting for your partner to finish and when he cant contact you for a long time all you can think about is if he is ok and will he contact you again! I sometimes found myself contacting my then fiancee's family asking if they had heard from him. Now we are through it and it feels like a weight of our shoulders! You should be proud of him as he is getting it out of the way so you can have a life together, if he postponed it then he wouldnt find work in many places. With regards to christmas no matter what you are going to want to be with your family!! Thats why so many expats travel back from christmas. I wasnt even going to travel this year but all of a sudden i freaked out and was so upset about being in Turkey knowing i wont go back, what its made me realise is i have to try and travel back for christmas every year. Spend time with family, eat all the food you can, and buy everything in the sale...then return back to your home! Trust me ive been in England nearly a week now, i probs could last another half a week or so but i really want to get back home.

Hope its all going ok and im always here to talk if you need xxx

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i have to try and travel back for christmas every year

This is OK while you only have you to think of but what happens when children enter the scene? Not only is it more expensive, it's also more difficult.
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Well when i have children its different as i can make it feel christmassy, they will get excited. At the moment however its just me and the hubby and hes happy for me to go and him to stay and work atm. If we had children aswell then the family would sometimes come to turkey, but atm my sister has a child so was all around hers xxx

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Impressive. So are the others in the boxes, nice to watch once but I wouldn't like to live near them.

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