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Meral

Beware Those Holy Names!

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I'm not keen on all this yenge, Agbi etc thing, but when in Rome ............................................!

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Well, bacı may mean the same thing, but abla is much more pleasant to the ears,.........wouldn't you say?

I don't mind yenge (what's wrong with it?) It's a term of respect, used by one's husband's (or uncle's) siblings, friends or associates. I don't understand the aversion to it. Posted Image

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but it is too common in rural areas and among uneducated people

Well, I live in a rural area and among many uneducated (but many intelligent) people (do not let us forget that intelligence and education are 2 different things), but I like the feeling of belonging that it gives me when I am called abla and yenge. Of course people know my name but the fact that they use a Turkish traditional way of greeting to someone who is an immigrant and could be considered an outsider is one of the things that I find heart-warming about the Turkish/Cappadocian way of making you part of their lives.

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As with beauty, ugliness is in the eye (or ear) of the beholder.

Who has judged that yenge is an ugly word? If it has no place in Istanbul Turkish, what do you call your brother's/uncle's wife?

You dismiss what is "too common in rural areas and among uneducated people", yet this is also a rich part of Turkish culture ......... is it not?

There is so much more to Turkey than what exists within the walls of Istanbul.Posted Image

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Yenge is anything but an ugly word. It's a sign of respect and like Vic, I love when people call it me, because I feel like I belong, especially in the village type areas around Izmir where Kaan's family live, as they don't really see people from other countries unless it's on TV or in a magazine - and as I'm sure a lot of us have experienced in these areas, we get stared at a lot for being "different" - so being called Yenge is lovely.

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I thought hanim efendi was for strangers whereas yenge was for people you know.

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It's likely to happen when you are cross with someone and they are trying to placate the 'little woman'. Posted Image

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I thought it was disrespectful to call a person directly by their first name (with no title) unless or until you became more samimi (closer friends), and certainly not when you meet them for the first time (unless a child).

Hanımefendi is what we expect to hear from shop assistants or total strangers who don't know our name (????).

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I don't know where you get the idea that Meral is obsessed with being a foreigner. What has she said to give you that idea?Most of us on this forum do our best to be respectful of Turkish culture and then you come along and are disrespectful about our efforts!

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Turko, I think myself and quite a few others here, think you're being very disrespectful right now. It's fine for you to say you don't like being called yenge, but when you say it's an ugly word and then say that Meral is obsessed with being a foreigner? No, that's not fine. Hanim Efendi is pretty much the same as ma'am and is something you definitely would expect to hear from a shop worker etc, not from somebody who knows you personally. If somebody called me Hanim Efendi all the time then I would definitely not be very happy. Ma'am is something we say to the Queen lol!! Hanim Efendi may be polite if you don't know that person, but when you're friends...No!

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Well, I don't think I'm obsessed with being a foreigner ........... if I was, I wouldn't choose to live in a country where I was the foreigner!

I feel OK if a shop worker addresses me as hanımefendi, or if a friend of my husband's addresses me as yenge. I don't even mind if the young boys at the pazar call me Anne (which they do).................. because these are all normal in Turkey (except, of course, for yenge, which you (Turko) insist has no place in Istanbul Turkish).

I am not trying to "do" anything, Turko. But I could ask, what is your point?

And by the way, does Istanbul Turkish have a special word that means the same as yenge? You haven't answered that one yet!

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I was speaking to Kaan about this on the phone earlier on tonight, and he also said that if you don't know someone, especially shop workers, that's when they would call you Hanim Efendi, but if you know someone personally, it's normally Yenge, Abla, Teyze etc. Turko, you can't say you don't want Turkish people to call you Yenge...that's how they show respect in Turkey...you're literally telling them to change their culture - you can't expect them to do that.

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I don't think anyone would call Turko yenge because I believe he's a man...In any case, I get what he (she?) is trying to say. No one is asking anyone to change their culture but I believe people can be open to adapting. For example, in Turkey, it's somewhat common to call your mother and father in law "anne" and "baba". However, not all Turks do this and some of my foreign friends don't want to do it either. By the way, yesterday my partner got a phone call from "teyzeoglu" (this was saved on his phone) and when he was speaking to him, he referred to him as that. I laughed, it seemed so strange, like me calling my cousin "My aunt's son...hello my aunt's son, how are you?" :)

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I've never heard that one before Cay.

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