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keltee

I Need To Speak To Someone

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Tourist1989 don't go and see him, he just wants your money and your body, in that order, he doesn't care about you. Be safe and if you can cancel your ticket and get a refund then do it otherwise go somewhere else, I'm sure there are ladies on the forum who would enjoy having a visitor from Australia for a couple of weeks.

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That's completely to form. They sort of stalk their prey with messages and emails. If you can't get out of your flight go to a different resort, there are plenty in the area. You will be safe enough if you keep clear of the waiters and bar men! Here's a link to hostels in the area. http://www.hostelboo...m=true/gue=trueHe will do his best to get money out of you. For example, if he books a room for you he will then say you have to pay a lot more than the room is priced at and unless the owner speaks English you won't be able to argue about it. Other things are the cost of transfer from the airport, the cost of meals/drinks. There will be the urgent need for money for an ill relative, he's threatened with jail because of one thing or another, his old mother faces eviction because of unpaid rent. The list of ideas they come out with is endless.If you are not really interested in him why are you coming back, you will only making yourself vulnerable and wasting your time at least?

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Hi Sunny, I earn more than double the minimum wage you need.. But I never told him that. To be fair to him, he never asked other than what field I was in.Anyway guys.. Bottom line is I have told him to delete my number and forget it. Its way to soon to have these anxious feelings. Onwards and upwards....Tourist, wow what a story. If I'm completely honest I wouldn't go. But I'm a totally different person to you.. I am such a romantic and way old fashioned about things. So if I were to go there and have sex with. A man and he let me down, or lied or even showed interest in other women then I'd be hurt, I'm quite sensitive.I am worried for your safety! If I had the holidays I'd book a flight and come be your chaperone, I'm so glad I didn't book a ticket for my man. He doesn't deserve it.By all means go but I don't advise , from what you've told us, relying on this man for anything, including a safe place to stay.I wish you nothing but luck. This place has been such a support for me. Let me know how everything goes Tourist! Keltee x

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Thanks for the comments allI am having the biggest internal dilemma about this! Another thing I should mention (which is really sweet actually) I fly in to Istanbul at 5 in the morning and he will be there waiting for me (his flight gets in at midnight) only to fly straight back to Bodrum (with tickets he has purchased with his own money for himself and me) He didn't ask for any money for these tickets or anything.Keltee, I am probably kidding myself that I am not going to get emotionally involved and it is all a bit of fun (because I am quite a sensitive girl myself- hence feeling so jealous about girls liking his pictures and him not being so obsessed with me anymore), but it's a decision I made, my friends at home never want to go anywhere except bali (Which is beautiful but I have been 100 times) and I study full-time doing a double degree, plus work a pretty stressful job ..so I think I deserve a break!This holiday will be 1.5 weeks after I complete my exams (I am going for 2 weeks) Yes, ideally, I probably shouldn't have decided to fly across the other side of the world to spend time with someone I hardly know and who's english is pretty limited (my parents are devastated) but its what felt right to me at the time. I have NO idea what to do. :/ I've been looking forward to it, and planning for it for 5 months.

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We've had a LOT of experience personally and on the forum and I think we've made it clear what we think you ought to do. Be sensible and don't get drawn in, He's only playing with you, you'll regret it.

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I usually encourage doing anything for love.. If I trusted it I would do it. But I don't trust this situation, and I don't think you believe its love. I know you want a holiday, but I'd suggest trying to change your flights. If not go to a hostel in a big city or a hotel you booked in a resort.Just since joining the horror stories I've read have been so bad! I'd never trust a turkish man again without him earning it first. And even then I'd be cautious!You must let me know if you do go alone! I love holidaying alone! Always more fun! You sound independant! Don't walk into this trap x

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Hi Tourist 1989, I have just been reading about your forthcoming holiday and the responses you have had. I do agree with those that say he is just after money primarily with sex thrown in as a bonus.

He is a player and can't understand why you can't see that, you said I study full-time doing a double degree, plus work a pretty stressful job so you aren't stupid.

He said if you buy the plane ticket he will pay for the accommodation. Now he is saying you have to hand over 1000 Lira for some grotty hotel which you have found out will only cost half of that amount.

You say he is acting differently, yet you are still coming to see some one that is already planning to rip your off on the hotel. What about the girls on Facebook are they girls he slept with earlier in the year.

Why do you think it's really sweet that he will be waiting for you at 5 in the morning at Istanbul and he has used his own money to buy tickets for the both of you. He may be paying for the tickets himself short term, but if you give him 1000 lira for a grotty hotel that is only going to cost 500 he will get his money back and change as well.

Will he expect you to pay, I expect he will. If you are lucky he might take you to a restaurant or bar where a friend works and get things for free.

At the end of the day it is up to you. You can't say we didn't warn you but I wish you would reconsider coming here to see him he really isn't worth it. Can you really waste all the money you are going to spend for this trip. If a friend told you what you have told us would you say go ahead.

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Tourist 1989, how do you know he will be at Istanbul airport? You could have a text from him when you open your phone on landing to say he wasn't able to make it , because of work, hospital bills for dying, mother/sister/brother or,gave all his money to his father who would go to prison if he did not pay his debts and so on and so on. Then you would be expected to get your own flight to Bodrum .Once in Bodrum your his to rip off, sex and money that's all he wants. I am surprised he has not asked you for Nikes/Adidas shoes., mobile phone or some other "gift".You joined this forum to tell your story and to ask advice, please listen to the advice you have been given and rethink your trip..

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Thank you everyone for your comments, it definitely has given me a lot to comprehend.I have decided that I am going to go ahead with my plans... I know he will be there because he has physically shown me the tickets via Skype. I told him I wasn't happy staying in the place his suggested, and he is ringing a few options I gave him in the next couple of days. If I get ANY inclination over the next week or so that something just isn't right, or he still has not booked somewhere for us to stay (or is expecting me to come up with a lot of money), I am 100% going to cancel my flight. This forum has been really helpful for me because it has made me open my eyes a little, and be on the look out for unusual behaviour. My mother has always told me that I am the type of person to learn the hard way- but let's hope that this isn't the case here, and I have an enjoyable two weeks holiday :-) I will take enough money with me to be able to change my flight at the click of a button if I feel the need. Anyway- If it doesn't work out, I can't say I wasn't thoroughly warned!If I do decide to go when the time comes- does anyone have any further suggestions for me? About money or anything else?I will fill you in on what's going on, and If I end up going I will definitely post my experiences in here.I think that it is important for younger girls to look at these forums because often we think just because we are young and attractive, the notion of a 'love rat' does not apply to us, as the majority of media discourse relating to this focuses on older women being wooed by men a lot younger then them. Obviously, after reading the discussions on here I can see that this really is not the case! Anyone is a victim!

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Yes, you are right, anyone female can be a victim regardless of age, in the pursuit of a visa, money or sex, as we have pointed out many times on the forum.

In your case he has given you fair warning before you get here in that he wants you to pay the hotel bill even though he said he would pay for it and asking for double the amount. So you know his intent is to rip you off, but you are still going to come here as a willing victim.

These people are scum and have no pity for the victim even when they have bled them dry and left them with nothing. They will even brag about it to their friends.

I doubt that any one will have further suggestions for you about money. As regarding anything else, I suggest you make sure he uses condoms as you don't want to catch a STD.

All I can say from what you have written about this man, and your willingness to still go to Turkey is "None so blind as those that will not see".

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Tourist, I agree. I believed since I am young, and both the man I got involved with and I were of equal attractiveness that the problems that can arise wouldn't happen to me.I've since been left hurt by a serial casanova who literally looked into my face and promised me everything under the sun. Probably because he was bored. I've since heard from a member of his family who says he falls in love 200 times a day.I wouldn't say I'm blameless. The girl never is if they fall for those lines, but I would say I convinced myself because we were both young that actually it was all real, and maybe I'd met the man for me! So stupid!!Boys all over the world lie. And some girls are pretty good at it too. Whilst I thought this experience would make me distrust men even more, actually I don't regret it. I just hope he grows up one day.The difference is that my Turkish man was harmless.. A liar and exaggerator at the worst. Yours sounds sleazy, and maybe even a conman! I think you sound pretty switched on, and your going into this with your eyes open I hope.. I really hope it all turns out for the best, and that its a great holiday. Please be very careful and let us know how it goes!!! - Also try not give him everything he wants on a plate. He hasn't earned it!

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HI Keltee....and tourist 1989.well, here is my story:I broke up with my bf in UK and was so depressed. after 7 month my friends could not see me in a dark so one of them took me for holiday to Turkey. I went there with her as i thought it will clear my mind and come back fresh. I was changing my job also so I had plenty of time for holiday.when i went to Turkey i went there to relax, did not even think about having "holiday romance" or meet with guys. We had all inlcusive so we hardly left the hotel. My friend was pregnant so she was more confi staying inside the hotel area. However in the evening we went for walk. Next to our hotel was a big shop and a man who tried to get attention from me but belive me or not I avoid him.....we had 7 days holiday booked. For 4days i just ignored him, even he tried to talk to me. He was talking to my friend and asked my friend to let me speak to him. My friend told him, if she wants to talk to you she will. The 5th day my friend wanted to buy presents for her husband, so we went to his shop. He was so happy finally could talk to me but i was very cold to him. He was asking me to go out for a drink after work with him but i refused.with this I kept him going more..... :) While my friend was chosing stuff we had time to talk and it was a nice conversation. So he asked me again if i can go out with him for a drink. I told him I will see. He said, if yes meet me in this and this bar. I told him if you wanna take me out i meet you here and we can go togther. He refused, so I did not go.Next day my friend needed somehting from the pharmacy. I went out to buy it and i had to pass his shop. He saw me and stopped me to appologize by being so idiot and asked me to go for lunch with him. Well, i agreed. Yet again we had a very nice chat. In the evening when we went for walk he stopped us and he said loud in front of everybody: " You will be my wife".... hahahaha.... i was laughing and I told him, "dream on, maybe you can tell this to the next girl who will come, anyway you are not my tipe". ( of course by then there was a very high tension between us, he was a good looking man, speak fluent englihs and even my friend said, she can see the spark between us) So he took us out for a drink. Next day we had our flight back to UK in the evening. WE had breakfast together and he asked my contact details. I gave him only my phone number ( was curious if he will contact me or not) he was suppried i did not ask for his detials. I told him, if you wanna contact me you will if not....at least I will not be stressed about it.we came back to UK and everybody told me, you can forget him he wont call. But my guts told me something different.....I knew he will. I was not looking at my mobile at all the time but something told me yes he will....and after 2 wks time he did. And after that we were in contact every day. Then he asked me to go back again to see him to get to know each other better. I did, but only under one condition, that I book the hotel and my friend is coming with me too. He agreed. So I went back to see him.....and this man is now my husband and we are expecting our first child and very happy together.He is a great man, husband, treats me like a queen, his family is just like my family, adorable and sweet, we are getting on very well. we are very happy and in love and even we had distance relationship for over 1 year, it brought us closer and made our love stronger....but was really really hard!Of course I was suspicious in the beginning as well, but we were in touch every day and I kept coming back to see him to get to know each other better. Also he came to visit my family too and everyobdy was impressed. Well my advice is Keltee, book a trip and take your friend(s) with you too. If you never go you will never know, however if he will not conatcing you till end of October then you better turn the page....you still have time to book your trip. wait and see.....but do not forget, not every Turkish man is nice and not every Turkihs man is a liar..... and is not only about turkish men....my bf in UK was worst then 3 Turkish man together....glad i was strong to kick him out and took a trip....:)Tourist 1989 - just forget him. he is trying to rip you off. he probs has - had lots of women and plays the same game with them. If you wanna go , you book the hotel, now you can do it online and you do not have to book it in advance as the season has finished..... but my advise - do not waste your time on him....you will remember it/him as a nice holiday romance:)Good luck to both of you!

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two words for you dear........CALL HIM. any man who does not push you for sex is a keeper, i know cause i married a turk, im 40 hes 26, he didnt touch me for one month. he is here in australia studying, we are planning our life together and taking things one step at a time. you wont know how he feels if you dont ask him. good luck.

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Hello everyone.. Thought I would provide a little update. I didn't hear from him for two weeks when I got back. Then out of the blue he text me saying he is thinking about me. He then emailed the following day, and every day since, he explained he'd been dealing with some family stuff. Well that's what he said.Since then he has emailed daily telling me to trust him, he isn't a liar, he thinks about me all the time and he misses me.He asked me again to go over at New Year. He keeps saying please come! Please trust me, I won't let you down. My best friend tells me am silly to believe him, that he wants a visa, that he wants sex. That is very possible I guess, but I didn't sleep with him the last time and he didn't seem to mind. He has. A nice life, and a nice car and a nice family, and from what he said he loves Antalya. But I'm just guessing the morals of this man. I guess I'm not really adding anything to my story except to say I still have no idea what to do, still miss him, and still question everything he says.The odds are stacked against us, and still I won't forget him! Is it madness?

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So he has been dealing with some family stuff that has been so time consuming that it's kept him busy for, twenty four hours a day for fourteen days so he couldn't contact you and it's nothing to do with there still being tourist around that he might be involved with?Well, think about the consequences if you do go. You will get more drawn in and your feelings will develop so it will be more difficult. If things do develop what would you do?If he has a good life there with a job, etc he won't want to go to the UK. How would you feel uprooting and moving to Turkey to be totally dependent on him as you wouldn't be able to work for the first few years?If he had contacted you straight away and kept in touch I would have said go for it but leaving it for that length of time makes me suspicious.

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two words for you dear........CALL HIM. any man who does not push you for sex is a keeper, i know cause i married a turk, im 40 hes 26, he didnt touch me for one month. he is here in australia studying, we are planning our life together and taking things one step at a time. you wont know how he feels if you dont ask him. good luck.

With all due respect , nikemre, I don't think that a man who does not push you for sex is a keeper! He could be sleeping with other women or just enjoying the thrill of the chase! . Also it is an exaggeration to say you are married to a Turk as your "marriage" is not legally recognised.Keltee, a man will find a away to contact you no matter how busy he is if he is really into you. Its the end of the summer season so no more tourists. I wonder how many other girls he has asked to come to see him?

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Keltee I agree with Sunny and Aston he would find a way to contact you if he wanted to, even if it was just one or two brief messages. You said in another post "I've since heard from a member of his family who says he falls in love 200 times a day", I think you should pay attention to that. I think they were being gentle with you and warning you not to take him seriously.

​If you did go I'm sure you would have a fabulous time but.... you run the risk of getting more involved and getting your heart well and truly broken when next summer comes, as there will be no shortage of new girls arriving every couple of weeks to catch his eye.

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i agree with the above. he could find a way even to send you one mssg to say, "sorry, im having family probs, but thinking of you, will be in touch soon". it does not take 2 min to type it down.If he had time before to contacting you im sure it would not be difficult for him to do it even within this 2 weeks. Well if he has money and coming from a good family as he says, tell him to book your ticket....then you will see how serious he is. But if you decide to go, defo take your friend with you...just in case if it turns out bad at least you have your friend to have a good time with.

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hi girls. thanks so much for not being bored of this!Ok, so i came back 5th October. I heard from him off and on until the 10th, and them nothing until the 23rd October, and every day since then via email. He is asking me to go out there, but i haven't booked anything and am suspicious about doing so, especially with the break in communications, which i have told him has made me question everything about him.I have been pretty miserable without him, but have started to get back on track and move forward. I still think about him though.Turns out that my mother made up the rumour that his brother said he falls in love 200 times a day to her. She was trying to put me off the idea of going back, as she really doesnt want me to be with anyone from Turkey, at all. I know why she did it, but I wish she would be a little less judgemental.Anyway, fact is, yes the season is now over, and he is in touch alot. He isnt working as much, as he doesnt need to through the winter months. In my heart of hearts i think you are right, he probably has other girls on the go, and is inviting them out as well, which makes me feel a bit sick! I know only too well that he could have contacted me during those two weeks he went silent. I text him twice during that time and had no response. One was a very angry message!As for the future, I haven't considered that. I have a great career here, probably more successful than his, as he works for his families business, so I couldn't not work for years on end. But I am moving to the middle east in a year for a promotion, and from there, if i needed to I would attempt to move closer to him if it was feasible. But that is just a shot in the dark, as I haven't really thought about it. I just am thinking about now, and here, and how I feel in this moment.I dont think im going to go. Im almost 100% im not going and have told him that. But there is a small part of me that screams at spending New Year with him and seeing him again. We really were very similar and he made me LAUGH. I keep silencing that part.

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well, it is only you who can make the decison....not sure if you read my story before...but we started almos the same way..i have heard from him nothing for 2 weeks, then he was keep calling me and now im his wife, living with him in Turkey and our baby is due in MArch next year:)whatever you feel one thing you must be sure of.....your heart and your brain has to work togethere....if does then do it what is says....but if your heart and you brain tells something different, then is better to listen to you brain....i was hesitating to go after he asked me to go, but i took the chance and took my friend with me as well...just in case:)good luck! x

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