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Guest nikkir

Is He Already Married?

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Sorry I didn't see this before, and you have my deepest sympathy for being treated in such a manner by such a man. If I were you, I would cut my losses and never have any contact with that man ever again. If he lied to you about something like being married, who knows what is true? The longer you keep in contact with him in hopes of getting your money back the longer he will string you along and will probably con you out of more money, time, things, etc... Don't do it. Break it off completely and consider it an expensive lesson learned. I speak from bitter experience. I hope against hope that your guy miraculously sends you your money, but I wouldn't hold my breath while waiting.

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Guest nikkir

Must say you lot are helping me lots! He's phoned me twice since yesterday and I've just ignored them. Not easy but I did it!

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So sorry to read your story. It's good to hear you being so strong - it's surprising how many girls and women are prepared to believe very elaborate stories, even when they know in their hearts that they're being deceived.

It's not unheard of for whole families to collude with a story, if they think it will bring in money. The wife does not always have a choice about whether to play along and be passed off as the ex wife or even the sister.

By comparison to some stories I've witnessed, you've actually had a relatively lucky escape, even if it doesn't seem that way now.totally agree with what others have said - if there is no honesty and trust in a relationship, it doesn't bode well for the future. Some of what he's said may have been the truth, such as his illness - but there is no room for any deception in a marriage. There is no good reason for an engaged man to have 2 facebook accounts. What does he have to say to his customers that you couldn't have seen?

Guys who are prone to deception often don't back down even when found out. So even if you'd have tried to press him for answers, he may still have lied and even been angry with you for not trusting him. A clean break is probably better for you than having him try to emotionally blackmail you. And although you're probably unlikely to get your money back, breaking contact is probably better for your peace of mind.

Stay strong. If you feel yourself weakening, post up on here as a sounding board if it helps.

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hi sorry to hear about your problems but tbh i think you should run unfortunatly i know from personnel experience i was with a guy for 3 years same age as me worked in a bank not in tourism and at the time i was very vunreble(sorry about spelling) he came to uk i went to his home town intoduced me to everyone as his fiance even asked my family if it was ok to get married but same as you as our wedding date drew near he kept making excuses we even bought a house together and furnished it even though we were planning on living in uk after he retired from bank and i found out he had been married for 20yrs with two daughters 17 and 6 at the time he told me he had never been marriedi was very lucky as i had a friend worked in the nufus office who found all this out for me when i challanged him he said there was no way i could have found out and my friend was just trying to split us up so i sent him a print out from the nufus office it then changed to they were seperated and he was waiting for divorce his wife would not divorce him so we had to wait 5 yrs load of rubbish i walked away asap it was hard and i was heartbroken dont get me wrong it was not easy as i lost the house we had bought and everything however life goes on and there are good ones as later on i met a good one we now have two lovely children he is also divorced with two grown up children and his ex wife is lovely she is in a relationship with a guy they have just had a new baby we get on very well better than him and her he only speaks to her if he has to about the kids where as she sends my kids presents and sweets she is a lovely lady we have no problems at all we have photos in the album of her because although they are divorced at the end of the day they have two kids together she is part of our lives and when the kids are looking through the photos it is nice to include them in our new family it was not there fault their parents divorced when we are in izmir we even go for coffee as long as her new guy is not around cause he does not see it quite like us lol

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Tabetha welcome to our forum and thank you for contributing to it. Your story was very sad but was it was heartening to read that there was a happy ending even though it was with someone else. I guess you lost your home because the Tapu was in his name and he and his family are possibly living in it, shame on them. It often makes me wonder how these types of men and in some cases whole families can live with themselves when they take money, and in your case your property, off a woman or anyone else for that matter just for their own ends. I know alot of them justify it to themselves but still at the end of the day it's stealing.

I hope that your story will bring comfort and hope to Nikkir, whilst there are a lot of good honest Turkish man out there, as in an country there is always a percentage of men who are less than honest and the women sadly in many cases don't find out until it's too late.

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Thank you for posting your sad story tabetha as a warning to others and it is very good to see that you found a genuine person and have a happy life together with your two little ones.

If divorced people can have a friendly relationship with their ex it is so much better for the children. My ex, his second wife and their children have all joined in the grand children's birthday parties, and like you I get on well with the second wife, we even exchange emails.

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Just coming in late to this thread, I would just like to say to Nikki how sorry I am that you have been faced with these problems. I can only agree with advice given by everyone else here. Stay strong and get this man out of your life now. Just keep telling yourself you are worth so much more than this.

And welcome Tabetha. It's really nice to hear that in spite of your bad experience you moved on and ended up in a happy marriage. So Nikki...

Tabetha's story proves that things can work out for the best in the end.

Good luck to both of you xx

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Guest nikkir

Update! He's tried to contact me every day - phone, text and email. He said he needed to talk to me quickly and we had conversation on msn. Nothing to do with me and him - telling me his father is in prison and he is flying up to see what is going on. Why contact me to tell me that?!

I have tried to contact his next victim but she won't accept me on msn. Really thank u for all your support and nice to know that there are some decent ones out there!

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Nikkir, sorry to hear that he is bombarding you but really that was to be expected and will go on for some considerable time I'm afraid to say. Yes, there will be lots of different cries for help, if his father is indeed in prison he obviously did something to be there and he is just trying to connect with you in anyway to make you feel sorry for him, in short he is trying to mess with your mind and wear your resistance down. I would think in time if all else fails he will start bringing his illness into it and or say if you come to see him he will give you some of your money back. If he does want to pay your money back to you he can send it to your bank account. Don't be fooled these kinds of people have no shame when they are on a mission as they don't like to lose.

As far as the next victim is concerned I'm glad to see that you did at least try to contact them. Sadly, I would think that she will have been already fed a load lies about you from your ex as we often hear about this happening, she will of course in time come to know the truth and will wish that she had let you talk to her.

Big hug to you :)

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Nikki, as Abi said he will not stop contacting you for a long time. And if his father is in prision he must have done something to be there and what help can you be! I think if you replied to his contact about his dad further along the line he would have probably asked for more money.

As for trying to contact his next victim, thats so nice of you and if she dont want to listen than thats up to her but at the end of the day you did your best to tell her. Keep your chin up Nikki your doing so well xxx

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When you wrote that his father is in prison, I thought Oh Oh, he's lining her up to ask for more money to help get his father out of prison. It's probably another lie but if it isn't, as the others said, he must have done something to deserve it.

Be strong. We're all on your side here and will help as much as we can. :)

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feel sorry for you nikkir he has treated you badly. i have a friend who has just recently found out her husband and father to her child has been cheating on her for more than a year and she is devatated but she is taking steps to help her to feel better and the girl he cheated with seems to be falling into the same trap she did such a shame cos she is only very young. i hope you stay strong and that you have a good support system and not a group of i told you so's

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Niki, sorry to hear your story, but you are better off without him. he used you and hi lies....you will never ever see your money and it would be even better for you if you complete delete every contact with him including friends family.

I have a turkish finace and we are due to marry next year in june. This year i met the whole family in his city. we had a big engagement party and it was very important for me to see him with his family and friends as i was a bit scared that he might me one of those who lies...but seeing him with his parents, brothers, sisters, ect made up my mind. he was married before but he is divorce now and this mother confirmed it to me with documents. he has a very nice family and they taking me already like their daughter. i dont think 2 weeks you can play "happy family" and lie that long. I was staying with them for 2 weeks and they took me to everybody who is important to them to introduce me....including neighbors. we also went to the registry office together to book a date for next year and get the paperworks ready.... im sorry that your relationship did not work out, but you have to me sometimes very suspicious and careful with these guys...dont worry, your prince still will come around...he is out there but with at the moment with the wrong women...he will find you soon :)) good luck :)

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i dont think 2 weeks you can play "happy family" and lie that long.

Sorry to say this but in some cases that is not true. We have seen cases on here and other forums where females have by duped by husbands/boyfriends and their families for years until they got what they wanted. I'm sure this isn't the case with you but it does happen.

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Sorry to say this but in some cases that is not true. We have seen cases on here and other forums where females have by duped by husbands/boyfriends and their families for years until they got what they wanted. I'm sure this isn't the case with you but it does happen.

well, i know what you mean, but to see and experience what i had i doubt it that was all lies...and i guess is depend where are you coming from ( i mean turkey) and what was you upbringing. but these things you can find in any other culture not just in turkish... i heard stories from other countries and they were worst then turkish stories....

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Sorry to hear that Gemini. You must be devastated.

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İ know this won't help you but it may help another girl.1. They introduce you only to the men in the family beware.2. The Kimlik is changed at the time of the divorce İf it says married he is.3. İf they want money point them in the direction of the bank.4. İf you want to buy a house do so in your sole name.5. Keep sole control of your money bank account and credit cards at all times.

Remember if he is genuine he will not mind, if these arrangements offend him say goodbye and head for the hills.

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Very sound advice aine.

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fortunately, I have been married before and have always kept a separate bank account but he wasnt looking for money he was looking for residency I believe. I throw a monkey wrench into his plans lol!

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