Military Jokes

[Ken Grubb 1,335]

I was delighted to find this military comic online, it had been floating around the military many years ago, and... how true! Cukurbagli will enjoy this.

[Cukurbagli 508]

Yeah love it, thanks for that Ken.

It reminds me of a story about a couple of young officers. One, an army First Lieutenant straight out of Sandhurst and the other, a Royal Air Force Pilot Officer straight out of Cranwell were having a drink in a bar. They both went to the toilet at the same time. The RAF officer had a pee, zipped up and went back to the bar, the Army officer had a pee, washed his hands and then went back to the bar. He said to the RAF officer, "I say old man, in the Army they teach us to wash our hands when we've had a pee"."Oh really" said the RAF officer, "how quaint, in the RAF they teach us not to piss on our fingers!".

[Abi 663]

:hysterical[1]: Off topic but I was born at RAF Cranwell.

[Sunny 778]

:hysterical[1]:

[Ken Grubb 1,335]

In hopeful anticipation, I've changed the title of this topic to "Military Jokes." I'm sure we have enough present and former military members who can keep us amused. I have a couple more here... more besides these, but I can't remember them at the moment!

A lieutenant and a sergeant (NCO) were out in the field, laying side by side, chatting until they fell asleep.

NCO: Sir, what are you thinking about, laying here, and looking up at the stars?

Lieutenant: Well, in one sense, I think about how beautiful they are an how clear it is tonight. In another sense, I think about how vast the universe is, and how small we are in the grand scheme of things. How about you, Sergeant? What are you thinking?

NCO: I'm thinking that somebody stole our tent.

This is a special forces joke.

A large group of taliban were walking down a road in Afghanistan. From over a nearby ridge, they heard a voice.

"One US Army Special Forces soldier can fight ten taliban!"

So the taliban leader organized a squad to go check out the source of the voice. The taliban squad went over the ridge. There was much gunfire, explosions, lots of screaming. Nobody came back. And everything was silent, but for that same voice again.

"One US Army Special Forces soldier can fight 50 taliban!"

The taliban leader got 50 men together and send them over the ridge. Again, gunfire, explosions, screaming. Nobody came back. And everything was silent, until he heard the voice again.

"One US Army Special Forces soldier can fight 100 taliban!"

The taliban leader had enough. He sent everybody, with all of their weapons, ammo, RPGs, everything he had, he sent over the ridge. Again gunfire, explosions, screaming. Then all was silent.

There was no voice this time. Only a lone, seriously wounded insurgent crawling back over the ridge, trying to make it back to the commander. He said:

"Sir! It's a trick! There are two of them!"

[Sunny 778]

Those two have got whiskers on them! The stars one is a Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson one.

They're still funny though.