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akdag23

Married To Turkish Man....what Was I Thinking?

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I have also re-read your posts, mainly because at times we love to give help and advice, but want to ensure that we are fully aware of the whole story before we do so - even then we do this with an open mind..having said that Meral's post is very important - nobody would wish to scare you at all, but l agree that you need to be vigilant here.You have only known this man a short while and yes his remarks are alarming.You need to ensure that when you discuss your relationship and its demise, that you have family/friends with you. Our bodies usually tell us when we should be more alert! listen to it and make sure you are in good company when discussing sensitive matters - stay safe.Bev xxx

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To all...I want you to know that I appreciate your responses and I am still working on what my next step will be...I am having a difficult time but also have been talking with my family and friends about the situation I am in.I feel like from what everyone has said the decision should be easy, but of course, it is not. I feel guilty, I feel like I ruined his life and am responsible. When we met in London, he had a good life there and then he moved here with me. He married me thinking I would become a good muslim wife, which I am not and cannot be...I don't want to be unhappy, but I also don't want him to be unhappy forever too...this is so hard. going to work every day is so hard, eating, sleeping is hard...Sarah

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I feel guilty, I feel like I ruined his life and am responsible. When we met in London, he had a good life there and then he moved here with me. He married me thinking I would become a good muslim wife, which I am not and cannot be...I don't want to be unhappy, but I also don't want him to be unhappy forever too...this is so hard. going to work every day is so hard, eating, sleeping is hard...Sarah

Sarah you haven't ruined his life really you haven't, but if you really do think that is true it would be better to set him and yourself free as clearly neither of you are happy. As we have all said we know it's not going to be easy for you but it will get harder the longer you leave it.

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None of us thinks that splitting up is easy and I am sure that at the moment life is very difficult for both of you but you've got to take the bull by the horns. The longer it takes the more difficult it will be. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Why should he assume that you would change and become what he wanted? Why didn't he accept you for what you are? It's his fault for trying to change you.Nobody forced him to leave his life in the UK so stop feeling guilty and take a deep breath and get it over with and set him free. (and yourself). The sooner you do the the sooner you can both start a new life.

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I met a Turkish man in London when I was studying abroad. He was working at a Kebap shop. We saw each other for a while and then we went to Turkey to visit his family and we got married in Turkey. We have been married for 2 years and he now lives in the US w/ me. We have so many problems, we cannot seem to resolve anything or come to any understandings. I feel so trapped and I am not the person I used to be. He doesnt let me drink, he always critizes what I wear and is worried about people looking at me. He won't eat meat that is not halal, he won't let me eat meat that is not halal. I feel like I have made the biggest mistake. I have tried to talk to him about things but he gets very very angry. We are going to visit his family in Istanbul next week. I don't know what to do. I just need to talk to someone who can understand and perhaps give some advice.

did he marry you to enable him to have a different passport as most only marry to stay in a certain country they can make your life hell till you wake up and leave hope this is not your case but im speaking from experience

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