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Found 17 results

  1. Hi, I'm Tami from Indonesia. Glad to found this site. I met my Turkish boyfriend via online dating site and it's been 5 months. I am having hard time trusting my boyfriend at first (He's good looking and has a good job. And he still online in dating app and there's some girls keep comment on his social media). But everytime we fight, he said there's no other girls and always make me believe that he will not hurt or make me sad (he always said wallahi, etc). He always want me to introduced himself to my family and my friends but he's still not doing the same thing for me. And he keep being jealous and asking everytime I go out with my friend (asking my friend is male or female). He's always being nice and said sweet things, but recently he always keep talking about kiss. Everytime we have chat/video calls, he always mentioned about hug and passionate kiss. I'm a bit confused because he seems really religious, kind, and being honest about his previous relationship and tell that I'm the last one for him. He said I need to accept his behaviour and he really want to kiss me passionately when we meet up (which is next month). He's my first boyfriend and he know that I'm conservative type but he said he want to do it because he loves me so much. Should I believe him? Or he just want to playing with me? I'm a bit afraid to meet him in person. Thank you in advance.
  2. Hi everyone, Don't know where to start but here i go.. I have no boyfriend since birth and still a virgin. I met my turkish boyfriend through tinder we're both in new zealand and i'm asian. We've known each other for a year now and in a relationship for 5 months now. Our relationship has been like very bumpy. I met him around october last year and we continued talking till early this year, what happened was that on feb i asked him what he thinks of our relationship and cannot answer me properly. He said qoute "if you feel like you're my girlfriend you are and if you feel like you're my friend you are" so after that i stopped talking to him. But after a month he reached out to me. To which our relationship became even more intimate. And then sometime's he calls me his girlfriend but i don't give much thought since i don't want to assume again and get hurt. Then came in June it was the first time I heard him say 'i love you' and after that it was official. Now moving on he's been in turkey for 2 months now for some family stuff. So today, our conversation went to be being serious. So he said that my virginity is important and that if he ever takes it he doesn't want me to stay in the relationship even if i don't want to be in a relationship with him anymore, he said he wants me to stay because of i love him. Now this part is confusing to me because i do love him and even if the relationship is quite bumpy i'm willing to stay. So i ended up asking him 'aren't me in a relationship?' And this is what he replied to me °o° (the symbols of an emoji i can do here) which is pretty much very confusing and he didn't really answer my question after i asked for the 2nd time. And he said yes we are. The thing that bothers me here is that if he really meant it cos somehow it made me really think that was i the only one thinking that we're on a relationship? Or like was he just saying it because that's what i think we are? Like what he did on feb. When i tried to get answer from him he's avoiding it. If you guys can help me out on this one, i want to understand. Thank you in advance.
  3. Good afternoon Gentleman, and Ladies. I'm actually a fellow Iraqi-Turkmen, that resides in Canada. A summary about me, before I start. I'm a student on my final year of studies in Information Security Management (securing systems from hackers). I've been with some women here in Canada, there has been many faults and/or I've not been satisfied with them. My mother has always pushed me to be with a Turkish woman, or any of the Turks across Central Asia & Mongolia (see Turkic council). Thus, I've come to this forum to seek people who may help me to understand precisely how Turkish women are. I'm hoping any of you can help by answering any of these: Personality Appearance Behaviour Reactions to certain opinions (political, psychological, movements, ideologies of other sorts, etc.) Thoughts on Western Philosophy, and Culture How to approach the women Family environment (how they are with children & families) Sense of Freedom, Achievement, Good Will, etc. Prime goals and passion As I come from the Western world, my mentality is very far from the Islamic (Erdogan) Era of Turkey. What I gathered about Turkish women from online sources is they are: Friendly Caring Jealous Family-oriented Sometimes cultured and/or traditional I personally describe myself as very secular in thought, but very judgemental. My personality trait is ENTJ (if that helps) but rather Ambivert, than extrovert. As we all know, Turkey lacks in education as per the OECD survey, and although some of you may question why I mention this, it's because it affects conversations greatly. I require very intellectual conversations, but I also need someone who is "feminine" that is kind, caring, as I do seek to have a family someday. Now I'm not saying I will pursue a relationship immediately, however, I do intend to consider dating in Turkey in the near-future. All your thoughts, opinions would be great, regardless of criticism. I may be able to answer some of your questions if needed. I thank you all for taking this time to read this post.
  4. Good morning all - I am brand new here and hoping for some advice. I've seen a few postings on this same topic, but of course each situation is different. Let me start by saying I am a very level-headed, smart, put-together, established woman in the US. I can spot dishonesty a mile away. 6,000 miles away? I'm not so sure. I can't even believe I'm typing this, because I can't believe I have found myself in this predicament at this stage of my life (I am 42 years young). That all being said, I know next-to-nothing about the Turkish culture, other than the few things I've read about the men (and not to stereotype at all) being relentlessly charming, sweeping women off their feet, multiple women in many cases... argh! So here goes. I "met" a man online through Facebook a few months ago. We have chatted almost every night via FB or phone, and much to my chagrin, I have become completely smitten. Am I surprised? Knowing me, YES! This man has had a hold on me (emotionally) since day one. He definitely knows what to say to me. I am trying to not get TOO involved emotionally but that is becoming increasingly difficult. We have had many conversations, but some things you would rather talk about face-to-face you know? That isn't really a possibility right now, so we've just been trying to get to know each other. He speaks very good English, so the language barrier isn't a problem. I've asked many questions and he always seems to have the right answers, making me wonder "IS this man for real?" Obviously, I am taking things very slow. I have let him know that he has to come to the US before I will come to Turkey (I have two early teenage children and it's not like I can up and leave them). There is so much unknown here, yet at the same time, so much exciting to me. I've just always been so skeptical of anyone who appears too good to be true, because in my experience, the devil has been lurking beneath. I guess my question to you all would be this... Are there any pointed questions I could ask him to be clear on what his intentions really are, and if he truly feels the way he says he does? Of course you can say anything on the phone and be whoever you want to be on the internet. I'm not at all blind to this. I know this is next to impossible having never met, but unfortunately, we cannot choose who we fall in love with. I fear my heart is already too far gone, but would be much worse should we meet and things go awry. I'm certainly not trying to get my heart broken yet again. I am pretty sure this qualifies me as crazy, but I want so much to believe it is real. Any advice for a newbie is greatly appreciated! Thank you.
  5. Hi. I need some advices. To make the story short; I met a turkish man in May in Alanya. Met, of course, at a club. He was in Alanya at a holiday. We had a great week together and I went back to Turkey in September to meet him. I had my sister with me. We stayed in Alanya again. I am going back in November to meet his family and I am staying in Turkey for two more weeks. I ahve told him that before we do anything he has to visit me in Norway and meet my family also. So he can meet them and also get a more understanding of where I come from and my culture. And if we ever going to move here (if not I moving to Turkey) he can see how the country is first. I am 29 and he is 32 years old. We have been talking about what we should do, b/c if the relationship should work for å long time one of us got to move. I am a social worker and I don't know how to speak turkish (but I can learn), so I think it will be hard for me to get work in Turkey. But in Norway... if you want to get a job you almost need an education 99% of the time. So I think it would be hard for him to get a job here. And he need to learn Norwegain of course. The one thing that scares me is to not know. Should I let go of my life here, sell my apartment, quit my job to an uncertain future? Or should he? I also have study loan that I need to pay, so I need a job if I am moving to Turkey in the future. I can't ask him to pay for my debt. But I think I have found a middleway I have the right to get unpaid permition from work if I want to study some more. I can study online. I was thinking of Sociology or maybe Journalism for one year. I can rent out my apartment for a year and live in Turkey. I will, of course, get more study loan. I not shure if I can get a visa for a year? But then me and my boyfriend will figure out if we are right for eachother, the normal - everyday life we will experience together ++. And if I do this next autumn I think I have what I need with the salary per year ++ if we want to move to Norway and he must apply for a visa. I don't know... I haven't told him about my idea yet. He wants us to get married and say that we can live in Turkey or Norway. It is up to me where we are going to live. When I go back in November we have to figure this out. What should we do? What have you been doing if you have been in a relationship with someone who lives in a different country? I will be happy for the respons and advice from you! Anything will help because I am lost and my brain is tired of all the thinking. PS! This wasn't so short after all. Sorry about that!
  6. I have gone through pretty much all of the posts here for an answer but nothing quite exactly the same. I am Chinese (not a Muslim) in Asia and the Turkish boy has been here for work for the past few years. I am older by 5 years and he is currently 31. We have been dating for over a year now and we have gotten serious and talking about marriage. I have recently also flown to Turkey to meet with his family (and he has met mine) but unfortunately they are adamant against us having a future and instead wants to find him a suitable candidate. He wants to end the relationship now as he sees no future to this to continue. I know family ties are really strong especially in traditional family but I am reluctant to let go of something i firmly believe in. Although i also understand that love isnt the priority in muslim families. I just am not sure if I should hang on for the sake of hoping they will eventually relent since he has a couple more years here and will not be moving back to Turkey so soon. And that he is quite ready to settle down but we just dont see how we can work this out without breaking his family ties. I have going to start understanding Islam more too for the sake of the promise i have made to him and myself since we started dating and also to find peace in myself. But i cant say i am not hanging on that Allah can give us a miracle here. Anyone has seen a miracle as such happen? I think the fact that i am older than him also plays a huge part in their objection since it may not be so easy for me to conceive now. I need a glimmer of hope. So desperate that this is the first time i am actually posting on any forum for support.
  7. Hello All, I am an English teacher at a university preparatory program in Ankara, and I need some dating advice from someone who knows Turkish women and dating customs. I have started seeing a Turkish woman who is also my colleague at work. She has informed me that it could be bad for her if our relationship became known around the office, so we've been keeping things on the DL. I'm fine with that, but recently she's started behaving in a way that mystifies me, and I need some advice on how to handle it. After a couple dates, on which we held hands, danced, and kissed, she and I had a talk where she told me two things: the thing about keeping our dating a secret, which I understand perfectly, and something else, along the lines of "can we not give (our relationship) a name for now?" Since then, she's been very hard to pin down - when I ask her if she wants to go out, she seems to have other plans. Also, she's been texting me a lot less frequently than a couple weeks ago when we first started going out. In America, where I'm from, this usually means the girl's not interested and you should just give up, you lovesick puppy. But I've talked to several people about this, including at least one Turkish (female) friend who thinks this girl might be playing hard to get. Here's the thing: I HATE games like this. The only reason I haven't given up is because I'm very interested in this girl. But I don't know how I should react - in the U.S., the general wisdom is to play it cool, don't come across as pushy or needy, and if she's interested she'll come to you, hopefully attracted by the fact that you have the strength of character not to text her a zillion times a day. But I'm concerned that this strategy may not work here - that in fact, maybe she WANTS me to keep showing her lots of attention, even though she remains aloof. Either way, I think my Turkish friend's right - I'm in some sort of trial period. But what are the evaluation criteria? Thanks in advance for any advice you can give. ~A. P.S. I wanted to post this as a poll but I have no idea how.
  8. Merhaba everyone, I am new to this forum and I have read some threads and they are quite interesting. I came here to seek advice because really i can not find any solution to as how I feel. I am a hispanic 28 year old dating a 29 year old Turkish man for a year. Actually our one year anniversay is this month...December 29th. We both live in New Orleans and he only has his sister and brother in law here...the rest of his family is in Turkey.The first couple of months of dating he did everthing in his power to keep me interested in him....taking me out to dinner buying me roses on a regular basis....everything seem fine. He would always talk about places we should go visit in Turkey and everything. Once on the 4th month of dating i saw that he was becoming serious asking me i should move in ...etc.. I at that point told him i had a daughter.....i had not told him before because i really did not think of him as something serious....but once i got to know him and Turkish culture....i really saw the similarities between the hispanic culture and Turkish culture...we are really family oriented and have similar values. After that some things changed...but his feelings seemed to be somewhat the same...but there was no more talks about going to Turkey no more comments like....i am so lucky to find you...he always use to tell me this. So i felt at this point some change...after confronting him...he mentioned that his parents were probaly not going to approve of me because of my daughter. I felt bummed about this so after much thought....i thought to myself this is not going to work out...so i broke up with him. He talked to his sister about the situation...and she basically told him..he had no future with me....and to never tell their parents about me because that would send his mom straight to the hosiptal...she has diabetes. Keep in mind i have an Masters degree...i owe rental properties...and see myself fairly decent. but of course all of this doesn't matter. After all this he cried...and begged me to not to brake up with him...that i made happy and no one has made him happy like this before. I cared for him too so we decided to get back together.8 months later.....which is been one year now...his parents came from Turkey to visit for one month....and i as expected been excluded of everthing. Although his sister has a two bedroom apartment...his parents decided to stay with him in his one bedroom apartment...so i really can not see him.....i been seeing him only during lunch time and i can not stop myself from feeling inferior. I feel like we are doing something bad and we have sneek around. I asked if they even knew about me and he said he tried to mention about me a few months ago and basically his mother told him straight up he is prohibited from dating any american girls although i am spanish and that she will never give her blessing to him. So after that he stopped trying. I tried to talk to him about it....what does he expect from this relationship...he said he does not know...only the future can tell. He is not giving me any promises....he hasn't even said he loves me. He just says his feelings are very strong for me nothing like he has experienced before. He said love is a very powerful word and should only be said in marriage. He said he has never told i love you to anyone before. i am just so torn....i don't know what to do...should i just keep trying and maybe one day things will fall in place or should i just call it quits?
  9. I am completely dumbfounded and have no clue what to do. I have read article after article. I will be volunteering at a handicapped school in Istanbul teaching music so that I have a job and so that the father sees that I am worthy. How do I go about conversation? And I love to cook and fairly good at it. Would it be appropriate to cook for them? And anything else you got I would greatly appreciate it. The family is very happy for her wanting to go to America to study abroad, so I dont think they would object to meeting me. Long story short..... help??? lol
  10. I met a Turkish woman in America four months ago. We've been dating exclusively for three months. She's been in the country for five to six years going to school, but got a job semi-recently where she intends to stay for several years. She told me that until she got the job, she was planning to return to Turkey and was close to buying her plane ticket back. More recently, she said that I'm the reason why she wants to stay, despite the fact that she (obviously) misses her family, friends, and home. We're deeply in love and we've discussed marriage and children and what that means to both of us, as well as the implication of meeting her parents, i.e. either we get engaged in the near future or we break up. I'm gainfully employed, as is she. We each have what are considered prestigious positions in Turkish culture. Any kids we had would be well-supported and well-educated. I have no intention of ever permanently moving to Turkey, except possibly in retirement. There are no companies there for me to work in my chosen field; it really is as simple as that. She's aware of my desires and we've discussed the idea of living in Europe since neither of us really like the direction my country is headed. She was raised to distrust Americans and has unashamed prejudices against cultures that aren't from the Mediterranean, which I'm trying my best to break through. She said she would have never considered the possibility of ever being in a relationship with an American until she met me. She was raised to think we all get divorced at the drop of a hat and that we aren't close to our families (that our parents kick us out of their homes as soon as we turn 18). This may be true of the very poor and our celebrities, but I'm very close to my fully-intact family, even if I don't see them often due to where I work and where they live (it was a career-making job offer and they were supportive of it.) She said that I'm starting to change her mind about Americans, and that if she were to meet more people like me, then she might be able to have some of her ideas changed. Up until now, she has only really associated with Turkish people who live in the US, and since moving to this new city, has only made an effort to connect with other Turkish people. I'm an atheist raised by Christians, while she's a non-practicing Muslim raised by devout Muslims (her mother's family is especially conservative). Her parents had an arranged marriage and had only met once before the engagement and subsequent wedding. She says they don't really love each other. She says she wants to marry for love. I know that she wants any kids we have to be raised with Muslim beliefs, if only to instill in them the belief in a god and to satisfy her distant relatives. I told her that any child of mine will learn to study their religion and many other religions as well. She agreed that that was a reasonable course of action. Before she came to the US, her parents tried to arrange a wedding for her, which she refused. In college, she had two Turkish boyfriends that she wanted her parents to meet. They denied the first one for a reason that I haven't heard. The second, they refused to meet. She followed their wishes and she broke up with both of them. She keeps seesawing on whether she would go against their wishes in my case, depending on how we're doing that particular week and for a multitude of other reasons. The sense I get is that she says that we would be together in spite of them because she knows that's what I want to hear, but when it really comes down to it, she'll fold under their pressure. She has a habit of agreeing to do things and later going back on her word, which is a source of considerable conflict between us. For example, she broke up with her last boyfriend within the last year and he kept texting her, saying hurtful things to her, and I can only assume poisoning her against me. I told her that she needed to break off contact. At first, she refused to cut off contact, saying she didn't want to burn her bridges the way she has in the past, since they were best friends and were together for so long. It was damaging our relationship and I brought it up several more times, during which time she promised to stop talking to him, though she's broken that promise twice already. If I had to guess, I would think that she's still texting with him, but I'll have no way of knowing until she brings him up in conversation or unless I directly ask. I don't want to ask (or have to ask, for that matter), as it will probably start another argument over it. This is the main thing that makes me doubt her feelings for me. I've been feeling handcuffed in our relationship, like I can't argue with her about our cultural differences or criticize her flaws at all. She doesn't hesitate to insult my culture, trivialize it or make sweeping generalizations about it, but as soon as I breathe a word of what's wrong with hers, she plays the victim and says that I'm trying to Americanize her and am forcing her to compromise her values, never changing anything about myself in the process. I feel that I'm always forced to give up ground to appease her, that she says she's changing herself but (as I mentioned above) I just don't see the effect. And then there's the sexual issue, which I know people are going to connect to the previous paragraph, but please believe me when I tell you that they are separate problems. I have slept with my share of women before. She had not done anything besides kissing and light petting until she met me. She told me at the outset of the relationship that "sex is off the table" and that as long as I didn't hide it from her, I could sleep with other women. I insisted that I wasn't going to cheat on her with other women, to which she said "It's not cheating if you don't hide it from me." I haven't been unfaithful, and I refuse to do that. She's suggested it multiple times, and I recently made her promise to not bring it up and again. She is a very passionate, beautiful girl and we've gone beyond her normal limits in moments of passion, but she's still a virgin. She feels very guilty afterwards, even though she says she likes it during. She pushes me away emotionally and picks fights with me when she feels guilty about it, which really hurts me. My worry here is that even if we do end up getting married, the shame and guilt about sex that she had instilled in her during her upbringing still isn't going to go away. Even mentioning some acts, not even suggesting that we do them at all, makes her squeamish and draw back in horror. I'm not a disgusting pig; she says that she feels intense desire for me, which I believe from the way she acts around me, but I feel like this squeamishness and all-around reluctance is something that I'll have to fight against our entire lives. She told her sister about us and how we've been getting more serious. She apparently doesn't approve for the reason that she doesn't think the relationship will last, that I would divorce her at the first sign of trouble, and that the differences in our two cultures would be too much to overcome. I still think she doubts my feelings because of this. We're both very stubborn, very proud, and very intelligent individuals. We each want to take the lead in this relationship, and that leads to the most strife. I feel that she expects me to be a doormat and as someone who for a long time has valued his independence above all else, I'm not inclined at all to take on the submissive role. Can anyone with an objective view say whether these problems can be overcome? Is the gulf between the cultures too big? Do I have any chance at all of receiving her parents' approval for marriage, even if we go forward with it?
  11. Hi im new to this so dont know if this is the right place to post this question. If it is the wrong one then could you please point me to a forum dealing with irish turkish relationships. Well basically im an irish girl and recently met a turkish man in Ireland while he was studying english here. We slept together quickly and started talking and now we really like each other. He went back to Istanbul but we are in contact every day.He is 23 and i am 24. I really like him and he's always saying how much he likes me and wants to be together forever. I spoke to him about the bad things i hear about turkish men such as abusive and possessive and seems very open minded. I also have a child and is fine with this and always asks about her. My question is... Do these long distance relationships work with turkish and Irish? Any advice for me?? Are turkish men usually so forward??Thanks xx
  12. Hi everyone, I hope you’re all well. I’m completely new to the forum in terms of posting, but have been reading the really valuable and empathetic relationship advice people have been giving to those in intercultural Turkish relationships. I would really be grateful for some of that objective, non-judgmental and supportive advice right now. 3 months ago, I met a Turkish girl at a university social event in Birmingham, UK, where I’m from. After two intercultural, long-distance and ultimately failed relationships, I was very cautious about getting involved in anything along the same lines and the last thing I went to this event for was to meet somebody. But we got talking, just hit it off from the first moment and had the most incredible 6 weeks together before she had to return to Istanbul to study. She had been in the UK for a work placement. We have stayed in contact all day every day via SMS and Skype and are what you would describe as very “Loved-Up” and happy together. I visited her 2 weeks ago in Ankara, where she was herself visiting friends, and we had an amazing week together. As a person, I can honestly say I have never been with anyone who is as kind, caring, warm and beautiful as her. However, as I have found out more and more about the reality of our situation, I have been hit with immense doubts about whether we could have a future together. Distance: Firstly, I now have an extremely busy job in London, for which I have to do several years of exams. I have gone to hell and back to get this opportunity and I can’t turn it down for someone I’ve only known for a few months, irrespective of how much I feel I love her, by moving to Turkey. She has a year of studying ahead still in Istanbul and the UK VISA system for Turkish people has now become near impossible, as many of you I’m sure already know. I am 27 years old, 5 years her senior, and keen to meet someone and settle down at some point. How can I stake my future on a girl that I can only see, at best, once every 5-6 weeks and with whom I could never live before marriage? Religion: Whilst she drinks alcohol, doesn’t pray or go to the Mosque, dresses like a fashionable European girl, she is proud to say she is Muslim, and rightly so. I respect that and feel we should all be proud of our families and backgrounds. I, however, have been raised in a completely non-religious home and for all intents and purposes am an atheist. I feel very strongly that my children are not raised religiously, which is a belief I have held for a long time. That is nothing against religion. I have countless very good Muslim, Christian and Jewish friends. It is just a belief of mine, based on my life experiences, which I feel as strongly about as they do about their religious beliefs. I know that, given Turkish society, and her and her family’s proud identification with Islam, this would be near impossible if we had children and certainly a source of much discontentment on both sides. And likewise for her, what if she gave up everything to come to England to be with me and our relationship just didn’t work out, as many don’t that began perfectly? Is that fair to her? So, my situation is that I have a girlfriend, who I would, under different circumstances, happily spend the rest of my life with based on what I’ve seen. She is kind, warm, beautiful and you know the rest… But I see so many issues that I just can’t see a solution to. I don’t regret meeting her, even though it is going to cause both of us immense pain if I end it. I don’t want to shatter her heart, nor mine, but I can’t see anything but difficulty, pain and uncertainty for us both in the future. I want to be fair and true to her, as well as myself. To some of you, I probably sound like I’ve made up my mind, and maybe to an extent I have done. But what I would really value is just some objective, non-judgemental advice for a guy who loves a girl, wants to do nothing but make her happy, but may ultimately have to shatter her… and himself. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this and wish you great Christmas. Thank you, really… Greg
  13. Hi, I am in need of advice in planning to date a Turkish boy that attends my school, I am Australian. Now he hasn't had a girlfriend and I am unsure of how to approach the idea of us dating to him, and I want to know if their are any do's and don'ts if we were to date, and any advice you can give me on dating him? I really like him, I want to date him and he thinks he religion would get in the way and I would just annoy him or be a pain. But thing is I don't care if he will be a pain and we can work around his religion. I understand we won't be able to kiss or have premarital sex (That's okay with me, because I am not very interested in that stuff anyway), but should I know of anything else that can't happen? Thanks.
  14. Hi! Ok so here goes nothing, im trying to get as many opinions as possible to help me make a decision, i know at the end of the day it's up to me. So in July i went on holiday to turkey and believe all the stereotypical talk that all the turkish are after visa's etc and i did see a lot that with some of the men. I never thought anything of it and just continued to be myself as you do on holiday. I added them all on facebook and would talk to them occasionally, especially one of them. I started of talking to him as i would anyone else but it slowly turned into flirting. I found myself smiling everytime i saw i had a message from him. and before you say 'Oh wise up he's turkish he's only after one thing', thats what i thought to but i just saw it as some harmless flirting with someone i'd never see again Again things slowly progressed and i found myself sexting him (no pictures - i wouldn't do that) and i guess what i'm saying i found myself falling for him. But here's the thing at first he asked me to come visit him in october when we first started chatting, and in my head i just though oh yeah think im gonna over in october at the end of hotel season for his entertainment. I know this is bad but i lead him to believe i would come over if my mum would let me. But anyway we continued to talk and i could tell you nearly everything there is to know about him. and then one night i got extremely drunk and snogged this guy and someone put a picture on facebook and i woke up to the message of 'nice picture' and he stopped talking to me. When i continually apologized until he admitted he was hurt as he thought we really liked each other.... He knows i am a virgin and told me that he would like to be my first and maybe my last. He's so sweet and my best friend also thinks he is genuine. I also know that he has had an english girlfriend before which lasted for 3 years... We have been messaging nearly everyday and he has asked to do skype so we can talk, and that is all i will do! but to be honest i find myself falling for him and i think he is genuine, he wants me to come in feburary to see him over his birthday and while he is in his hometown... My only worry is that if i go over in feburary is that he'll be expecting certain things which makes me nervous...... please give me your thoughts
  15. Selam everyone! This is my first time using this forum but I'm in awe and in need for some expert advice! I am an American woman(I have no religion, I wasn't baptized) and I am dating a turkish man(a Muslim). We have been together 10 months now, and we've been through several hardships. When we first got together I was 2 months pregnant. I now have a 2 months old baby girl. For the first few months we had certain disagreements about things. He didn't want to take part in anything that had to do with my pregnancy he said or with the baby e always said it wast his daughter. However, he still took me to doctor appointments and now that she is here he loves her unconditionally. He calls her his own and says she is the start of our family. One of our biggest issues is my past. It's hard for knowing that I was with anyone besides him, seein I am his first. And I know that in the Muslim religion a huge thing is not having sex before marriage or whoever you do you must marry, so I've heard. He also doesn't let me do certain things, I can't go anywhere without him, I can't wear anything that's somewhat provocative, and anyone in my past is a no no. Even though he is a bit controlling, I know he truly loves me. He proves it to me everyday. He tells me he wants noting but me. He's needs me and I am his life. And I love him so much, too. I've always been mistreated in relationships and for once I am happy. He wants me to read the Quran he thinks I'd love the Muslim religion. He tells me not to do it for him but to give it a chance. We've talked about marriage and I want it as much as him. He wants us to move to his city though, seeing we both live in the US now. I'm just concerned. For my daughter, for myself. If we do marry, I'm not sure on rights in Turkey, and I've heard a lot of bad stories about American woman marrying Muslim men. I didn't know if this was turkish Muslim or another country or does it even differ? Mostly looking for opinions. Please and thank you.
  16. My husband arrived in the UK in February and has found settling here very difficult. His large family in Turkey contact him daily to tell him how much they miss him. They are not secure financially and I think he feels guilty being so far away from them. His brother lives nearby and promised my husband work before he arrived but has since retracted his offer of employment. I saved up money to send my husband on a course but he found the accent too difficult and had to give it up. My husband is now working cash in hand for his brother which neither of us are comfortable with. My husband also feels he isn't getting on with my family as well as he would like (I have a sister with extreme shyness but my husband is convinced she's just being rude) and we've had a few arguments about this. All of this has been taking its toll on his mental health. This weekend, he packed his bags and went to stay with his brother. We didn't have a big argument but he's not responding to any calls or messages, nor is his brother. My sister in law's advice is to talk to him but since he's not responding to my attempts to contact him, I'm not sure how I can do this. He has since deleted me from his Facebook and changed his status to single (obviously we're still married) and I found out today that he has contacted one of my colleagues whom he has met once last week, asking if they can meet up! I'd like to think it's just to talk, but he should be talking to me!!
  17. Merhaba everyone I am new to the forums. I am dating a man from Adana and we have been dating a little over a month. He seems very sweet, but he is also very hard-working....which makes talking to him kind of hard, at times (because he is always at work!). Sometimes we have communication problems because he speaks English fairly well, but oftentimes he comes across something that he doesn't know how to say. Unfortunately, I do not know Turkish. I have been trying to learn it but it is a lot more difficult because it is nothing like the languages I already know! (Spanish and English). Anyway, I was wondering about cultural differences. This man has been a real gentleman. He always pays, he always drives, etc. But I feel bad for him paying; when I offer to pay he tells me, "I would feel so bad if you paid!". Also, my birthday passed, and he gave me some pretty elaborate gifts considering the short amount of time we were dating. He gave me a very elaborate Turkish shawl, an evil eye, and a shirt. I'm not used to someone spending that much money on me, and it makes me feel kind of guilty! But I do not want to offend him or make him think that his generosity is not appreciated. However, although I think this guy has good intentions, I worry that he is trying to "own" me by buying me so many things. However, he said that Turkish men are taught to impress a woman like this and that Turkish women expect this from them (I don't know if this is true!! He seems pretty Westernized in some aspects. I was really worried about coming across as an easy, American girl, so I tried to not show a lot of skin in public, but he has traveled a lot outside of Turkey so I think that it doesn't really bother him. He is Muslim, but non-practicing. Anyway, what can I expect in a relationship with a Turkish man? My guy seems very sweet and although he says that all Turkish men are jealous, I have never seen him get jealous or controlling. What do Turkish men want out of a relationship with an American girl? I am very independent and I worry if that is a problem. I just want to understand that cultural differences I can expect so that I can understand them and work through them. Also, he plans on staying in the US to work. He is in the process of getting his PhD.
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