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Found 9 results

  1. Hi. I need some advices. To make the story short; I met a turkish man in May in Alanya. Met, of course, at a club. He was in Alanya at a holiday. We had a great week together and I went back to Turkey in September to meet him. I had my sister with me. We stayed in Alanya again. I am going back in November to meet his family and I am staying in Turkey for two more weeks. I ahve told him that before we do anything he has to visit me in Norway and meet my family also. So he can meet them and also get a more understanding of where I come from and my culture. And if we ever going to move here (if not I moving to Turkey) he can see how the country is first. I am 29 and he is 32 years old. We have been talking about what we should do, b/c if the relationship should work for å long time one of us got to move. I am a social worker and I don't know how to speak turkish (but I can learn), so I think it will be hard for me to get work in Turkey. But in Norway... if you want to get a job you almost need an education 99% of the time. So I think it would be hard for him to get a job here. And he need to learn Norwegain of course. The one thing that scares me is to not know. Should I let go of my life here, sell my apartment, quit my job to an uncertain future? Or should he? I also have study loan that I need to pay, so I need a job if I am moving to Turkey in the future. I can't ask him to pay for my debt. But I think I have found a middleway I have the right to get unpaid permition from work if I want to study some more. I can study online. I was thinking of Sociology or maybe Journalism for one year. I can rent out my apartment for a year and live in Turkey. I will, of course, get more study loan. I not shure if I can get a visa for a year? But then me and my boyfriend will figure out if we are right for eachother, the normal - everyday life we will experience together ++. And if I do this next autumn I think I have what I need with the salary per year ++ if we want to move to Norway and he must apply for a visa. I don't know... I haven't told him about my idea yet. He wants us to get married and say that we can live in Turkey or Norway. It is up to me where we are going to live. When I go back in November we have to figure this out. What should we do? What have you been doing if you have been in a relationship with someone who lives in a different country? I will be happy for the respons and advice from you! Anything will help because I am lost and my brain is tired of all the thinking. PS! This wasn't so short after all. Sorry about that!
  2. Hi all I've read quite a few of these forums and thought I should just get my feelings out there! I have been going to Turkey all my life, every year in fact. I have family out there in Marmaris so i go with my family to visit them. Last year i decided i wanted to go for more than just the typical two week holiday. So i flew out by myself and stayed with my aunt for 2 and a half months. I didn't plan on meeting anyone I just wanted to go for a good time as i love Turkey, my uncle is Turkish and is too over protective and i knew meeting someone would be difficult. On my first night i went to the bar my aunt was working at and i met all the staff. None of them really caught my eye but as the days went on the barman started to become very chatty with me even though his english wasnt that great but we could still have a conversation. We became quite close very quickly as i found him very funny and he just seemed like a nice genuine guy as he was quite quiet and sweet, not the typical turkish guy you hear all the stories about!! He then would ask my aunt if it was ok if he could take me out for a drink but as my uncle wouldn't have liked the idea of this she had to say no and i didnt want to upset my uncle. But anyway i was upset by this as i really did want to go out with him as i started to have feelings for him. We then got each others Facebooks but he added me on a profile that was a totally different name from his but i didnt question it. He would send me a "Morning canim" message every morning and this would make my day. Then one day i got out my bed quite late as i was out late the night before and i got a message from him asking if i would go to the beach with him. I told my aunt and she was fine with this but my uncle didnt know. I then went to the beach with him and i honestly had the best day of my life, we had our first kiss and i actually felt like i had known him for years. When i seen him at the bar at night i couldn't stop smiling, i just wanted to be with him 24/7!!! We would go to the beach at least 2-3 times a week and he would take me out for lunch and would spoil me, no one has ever made me feel so special but him! My feelings grew even more for him and i couldnt stop thinking about him but it was good that i seen him every night although we couldnt show how much we liked each other as i didnt want my aunt to find out. Even though my friends knew and the bar staff also knew haha. There then came a day where we had went up to his apartment and things happened and we kept going back each week. My uncle then found out i went to the beach with him and ive never seen anyone so angry before and he stopped me from going out with him. We both missed each so much and it didnt feel right just sitting at the bar at night knowing ive not spent any time with him. Sometimes i would go to the toilet and he would follow me to the sinks and we would kiss and it was amazing. His family then came to marmaris and i met all his cousins and we all got on really well. As my 2 and a half months were coming to an end i was literally dreading leaving him i just couldnt bare the thought of not seeing him every day! I spent my very last day with him and i wish i could relive it so much. I've never ever felt this way about any one in my life before. The day i was leaving finally came and when i went to the bar to bye to him my heart literally fell into my stomach, he gave me a big hug and kiss and told me he loved me (which i obviously believed) and i was the happiest girl ever. Cried all the way home and i was sooo upset when i finally got home. He would message me everyday saying how he wishes i was with him, how much he misses me and he loves me so much etc nd these messages would brighten up my day, i wanted to talk to him all day. We could never skype because he had a rubbish phone and didnt have a laptop which was quite difficult. I would look at the photos of us all the time and would sit with a big grin on my face, he also would always send me photos of him and i just loved seeing his face!! As time went on he stopped messaging me for a while as he went back to his hometown and i was so confused as to why hes not messaging me? He would then come online after a while and this would last like a day or two then he would do a disappearing act again and i couldn't cope with it what so ever. It then became months since he hadn't messaged me and i was still upset by this. I was looking through facebook one day and i came across a facebook with his name, so i clicked on it and i was raging because from what it looked like he was constantly updating this facebook, but the facebook i had for him he was never online. So i questioned him about it and he blatantly lied saying he only has one facebook which is the one he was using at the time and why i didnt believe him. I then felt bad for questioning him so i let him off. He still wasnt really on facebook much and i tried to find the other facebook but it was no where to be found so i was happy as i thought he had deleted it! But no lol i went on my friends facebook and i searched in his name and i found his facebook within 1 second. Only thing that could have meant was that he had actually blocked me because i asked him about having two facebooks. Anyway after a while a kinda got over it all as he was on facebook quite a bit always talking to me just like we would before and was talking about how he wants to marry me etc but then he changed and started to get angry with me all the time, which led to an argument just about everyday. I was truly sick and fed up of it which resulted in me deleting him and trying to forget about him. He obviously seen we werent friends so he added me and i stupidly accepted. He was being his usual lovely self, the guy i first met! Then again changed like the weather and i had to just delete him again. We now have not spoke in over 5 months and its been the hardest 5 months of my life. I feel heart broken because I love him, it wasnt just a stupid wee girl crush and the worst part is that i know i did nothing wrong for him to be like that. I'm going back out to Marmaris again this year but not as long as last time because of college and work! I was really hoping that maybe he would be working at the bar again because he said last year that he 100% will be. I got in touch with my friend who knows his cousin and i asked them to ask him if he will be going back? Really i was hoping that he would be because he made my holiday last year the best holiday ever and will never forget it. But hes not going back this year because his cousin isnt either and when i found this out i can honestly say ive never been so upset before. I felt heartbroken. After a year and i still feel like this i dont know how i will ever get over him, especially if im going back this year to the same place and he wont be there! It wont feel right and i dont think i will have half as good of a time like i did last year. I dont know how he feels about me anymore which is upsetting but a part of me wishes that he feels the same way i do. Weird thing is that some of his friends add me on facebook and they message me telling me stories that he must of told them, he also must of told them my name for them to find me on facebook. Too many things go through my head but this is really the worst feeling in the world. A part of me regrets getting so close with him but then again i have the memories to remember. Theres always so many stories like this to do with english girls and turks but i really thought i knew the bad type to stay away from and i thought he was one of the lovely genuine guys! Guess i was wrong but it just hurts so much!! Think il need to stay away from guys this year when i go back so i dont ended up feeling like this for the second time. I just had to get this out of me and im glad i did haha. Not much i can do now apart from try to get over him but i truly think this will take me a while which is hard! Thanks if you read this. Ali
  3. Selam everyone! This is my first time using this forum but I'm in awe and in need for some expert advice! I am an American woman(I have no religion, I wasn't baptized) and I am dating a turkish man(a Muslim). We have been together 10 months now, and we've been through several hardships. When we first got together I was 2 months pregnant. I now have a 2 months old baby girl. For the first few months we had certain disagreements about things. He didn't want to take part in anything that had to do with my pregnancy he said or with the baby e always said it wast his daughter. However, he still took me to doctor appointments and now that she is here he loves her unconditionally. He calls her his own and says she is the start of our family. One of our biggest issues is my past. It's hard for knowing that I was with anyone besides him, seein I am his first. And I know that in the Muslim religion a huge thing is not having sex before marriage or whoever you do you must marry, so I've heard. He also doesn't let me do certain things, I can't go anywhere without him, I can't wear anything that's somewhat provocative, and anyone in my past is a no no. Even though he is a bit controlling, I know he truly loves me. He proves it to me everyday. He tells me he wants noting but me. He's needs me and I am his life. And I love him so much, too. I've always been mistreated in relationships and for once I am happy. He wants me to read the Quran he thinks I'd love the Muslim religion. He tells me not to do it for him but to give it a chance. We've talked about marriage and I want it as much as him. He wants us to move to his city though, seeing we both live in the US now. I'm just concerned. For my daughter, for myself. If we do marry, I'm not sure on rights in Turkey, and I've heard a lot of bad stories about American woman marrying Muslim men. I didn't know if this was turkish Muslim or another country or does it even differ? Mostly looking for opinions. Please and thank you.
  4. From the album: turkish delights.

    best friends and partners forever.
  5. From the album: turkish delights.

    christmas day on the beach.
  6. From the album: turkish delights.

    my husband and myself at our home.
  7. Was thinking that as the summer season is nearly upon us, the dreaded Take a Break magazine will soon be publishing countless articles about love rats. I thought maybe as a group we could get together a load of our stories (funny, romantic, etc) to show that not all Turkish men should be grouped the same. A sort of chick lit book put together by people who have inside intelligence on these relationships. Not sure how we would go about it, but I could enquire as to getting it published if we get that far.I am thinking along the lines of "Light hearted reading for holidaymakers"Am sure many of you have interesting stories to tell of how you met your partner and how you coped with the cultural differences.It's about time we overcame all this prejudice BS ......ok.......who wants to go first?????
  8. Hello, guys.Glad to have found this website,I will get to the point. Ok this may sound stupid but i am just a sucker for love and probably, young, stupid and naive and almost always online. Am a teenager (18).Okay, when i was 16 and working at a cafe, had plenty of facebook time to chat and hooked up online to this cool Turkish guy (21) who i would chat with almost non-stop for a month before he goes quiet on me for 2 months and comes back again until i decided to put a stop to it like 2 years later. I swore not to fall for a guy on internet but guess what, i succeeded for a while until another friend request came and another Turkish guy started to chat with me.I took it casually until we discovered we are sooo alike besides religion and race of course. but we discuss freely about it, he is 19 but mature. we already make plans to marry and meet... okay yeah we are crazzy.The point is, i am sometimes scared he may start to ignore me like the former Turk love chat mate i had but he has promised to start just calling me this month as chat is getting boring for him. And i also wonder if i am fooling myself by believing someone online.I am anxious this month as he promised he will start callling me eveeryday. i want it to work out, i really do. But again if it works out i am scared that he may lose his trust in me if he discovers that in the past, i had a facebook chat mate like him. he trusted me with his facebook password and email password.This was suppose to be a short post but, i guess i dont exactly know how to express myself... last question is; am i stupid to fall for someone i never met. we have made so many plans for the future and believe me he is reallly smart from our chats. he seems like someone i can live with,Thanks again.
  9. I don't mean anything racial but I've dated about a dozen different nationalities and have very little luck in continuing a fulfilling relationship, and are very hard to deal with. Also these men were 20 - 25 years old and I hated that they were not stable, I'm 18 years old with a stable job as a marketing coordinator and doing night school at the same time, they're not even half as focused as I am. so I am very pleased with myself obviously but I need some inspiration...and I found it an a 30 year old turkish man..I acted as if I were dating a 20-25 year old man british, brazilian, american FYI). how else should I have acted? and how is here different from a few of these other nationalities I have been with? I met Yakup (from Adana, I dont know why that matters but I pretty much have a thing for provincial boys since I'm a city girl (Abu Dhabi, UAE) and I don't like city boys.) in women's exhibition (we were both exhibitors), it was a bit rude what he was doing for about a couple of days - which was staring intently every 5 seconds until I actually came up to him and bought an anklet he gave me a discount and winked at me. Hours later I went outside and found him there smoking as I was about to do, he was on the phone but immediately went up to me and asked if I needed a light which I did. He hurried down the phone and stood there next to me...he asked how was my business which wasn't doing good - yabber yabber yabber..we sat down and he immediately asked me out to Dubai which was an hour away from where we were Al Ain (2 hours away from abu dhabi) but it wasnt possible to bring me back the same night because it was already 12, he offered a room in his house but promised that he will not step into it once I'm in...I thought about it really hard and said why won't HE stay instead, I'm in a hotel and he could get a room from there he said yes and was excited about it but then the hotel was fully booked as it was a weekend so we went on back to our jobs, he offered to drop me but i didn't know the area so i preferred to take a cab... next day he asked me about it again and i said that i think its too soon for that, he frowned in confusion and said "i don't know what you're talking about" i laughed in embarrasment "uhmm... I barely know you" "why do you think I'm asking you out?" he said. then we continued texting all day but I was still trying to be a cool 18 year old girl, i repeat TRYING. I'm a dork I'm usually funny but when it comes to 20-25 british, american or brazilian men there's really no other way to be. So i guess my question is, should I have gone? i know its too late now since he was pissed at me at the last day and i didn't do much to change his mind about it. but I think I'm gonna go for 30 year old men better or are they not so different from each other after all.
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