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I have gone through pretty much all of the posts here for an answer but nothing quite exactly the same. I am Chinese (not a Muslim) in Asia and the Turkish boy has been here for work for the past few years. I am older by 5 years and he is currently 31. We have been dating for over a year now and we have gotten serious and talking about marriage. I have recently also flown to Turkey to meet with his family (and he has met mine) but unfortunately they are adamant against us having a future and instead wants to find him a suitable candidate. He wants to end the relationship now as he sees no future to this to continue. I know family ties are really strong especially in traditional family but I am reluctant to let go of something i firmly believe in. Although i also understand that love isnt the priority in muslim families. I just am not sure if I should hang on for the sake of hoping they will eventually relent since he has a couple more years here and will not be moving back to Turkey so soon. And that he is quite ready to settle down but we just dont see how we can work this out without breaking his family ties. I have going to start understanding Islam more too for the sake of the promise i have made to him and myself since we started dating and also to find peace in myself. But i cant say i am not hanging on that Allah can give us a miracle here. Anyone has seen a miracle as such happen? I think the fact that i am older than him also plays a huge part in their objection since it may not be so easy for me to conceive now. I need a glimmer of hope. So desperate that this is the first time i am actually posting on any forum for support.
Hi everyone, This is my first post here, I thought I'd share my story as I've been reading lots of posts from yourselves! So my boyfriend is Turkish, I'm 23 and he's 27. We met 7 years ago and we've kept in touch all these years talking online, skype, writing letters etc, but I only seen him again in May this year and then I went back in September and October to see him. In September I met his cousin who he is really close with, his brother, his friends and his work colleagues. We spent the entire week together and became really close. We talked everyday on skype and then I went back to see him in October. It was the Sacrifice Feast when I was there so he took me to his aunt and uncles home where we were joined by his cousin, her husband, their baby and his brother. I'll admit I felt quite uncomfortable because at that point I couldn't speak a word of Turkish, and only my boyfriend can speak English. They did make me feel very welcome though. Also that week, his cousin invited me to her family home for a meal...all the men were in the sitting room watching TV and I had to go in the kitchen to help prepare the meal with his cousin and aunty. We spent the entire day and evening at their home and I was made to feel so welcome. He wanted to take me to meet his parents that week but I said I didn't feel ready. I'm going back in May and he wants me to meet them then. He said we'll goto their village and spent the night in their home. So where do I even start?! Will we need to sleep in seperate rooms? How do I behave with my boyfriend? How do I greet his parents? Do I take them a gift? I have so many questions! The first thing I've done is sign up for Turkish language course so atleast we'll be able to communicate (I hope! :-) ). As I said earlier, when we were together we had such a nice time, we're very much in love, his family and friends have said I've changed him and it's nice to see him so happy and loved up, and we talk on skype every single day and as sad as it sounds we leave skype on whilst we sleep so we can wake up to each other in the mornings He took me to meet as many of his friends as possible and he seemed so proud, and he was so affectionate to me. Anyway, he's always doing little surprises for me, and last week he said the biggest surprise will be when we're together and that it'll be the best moment of my life that I'll never forget......what are people thinking? Only one thing came to my mind!! Any comments/advice/tips would be appreciated!! xxx
A little info to start with Me and my girlfriend have been dating for about 6 months now but I have been best friends with her for a few years now. I am 29 Puerto Rican born in the US Girlfriend and hopefully to be wife is 26 Turkish born in the US Her parents were born in Turkey and are extremely old school traditional as she would explain it. I thought with them being traditional and all I should get to know and the family get to know me well before I ask her parents for her hand in marriage. So she introduced me to her parents about a month ago for desert and tea time and I have since been over once for a dinner. When her father hears of me and her hanging out or going to a resturant and such it appears to upset him since we dont have an engagement set yet and we are out in public. It seems like he likes me as a person and my girlfriend and her sisters agree. I am struggling finding where I should be. I am not sure if I should rush the engagement or still give it time to get the family to know me. This month has been a busy one for both parties since I have been studying and testing for certs. I would like to ask her parents before I ask her and I know she is the one for me already and there is no question about that and I feel she feels the same about me. I honestly thought her parents would not like the rush but it seems like we cant make progress and we will upset her father in the mean time if we do not get engaged prior to us having a relationship. I am not very familiar with the culture and the only thing I hear about it is from my girl so I am hoping people on here may be able to help me out and give me some type of direction because I would love to have a great relationship with my wife's parents.