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Found 40 results

  1. Hello everyone, I hope it's okay that I'm posting here, I read this forum regularly and I need some advice. In July I visited Turkey with a friend and her family, I'd been before but nearly 10 years ago now. My friend has been going every year since she was young, we are very aware of the reputation Turkish resort workers have, so I went on this holiday with no intention of getting involved with anyone. Well that didn't last lol. Our group became close with one of the workers at the hotel - J. He wanted more than friendship with me, but from the beginning I made it clear that I wasn't going to sleep with him but it would be nice to get to know each other as friends. He speaks very good English so I know he understood. He was very respectful of this and did not pressure me for more at all. As the holiday went on and we spent a lot of time with each other (he would sit with me during his shift when it was quiet, and after his shift we would go for walks around the village), I realised I had feelings for him and things developed. (I thought he was different I guess due to him still wanting to spend time getting to know me, despite me making it clear nothing would happen, and there being plenty of other girls who seemed to like him in the resort who he paid no attention to.) Leaving Turkey I was really upset, but I thought it was just a holiday romance and didn't expect to ever see him again. He insisted he would call and message me but I took that with a pinch of salt. But he kept to his word - for the next two months he called me every night after work, which meant a lot to me considering he was working 14 hour days 7 days a week and was exhausted. He always remembered things I had said to him when I was out there and things that were important to me, and if his internet ran out he'd stay at work for an extra hour to use their wifi to call me. At the beginning of August, about a month after we met, I found out from a mutual friend that he had been messaging another customer. Nothing had happened but he had been flirting with her. I confronted him about this and explained that it was best we were just friends as I could no longer trust him. He still called me every night, crying, begging for another chance, and after a lot of going back and forth I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt, as we weren't actually in a relationship and he seemed genuinely sorry. Me and my friend who I had originally gone away with then booked a holiday in September to go back to that resort, she had also met a guy out there who was J's friend, so it was the perfect situation for us to get to know them both better. Just before I left for the airport, he called me and said he had told the whole hotel including customers that his girlfriend was coming to visit, which was the first time he called me his girlfriend (he had originally said he didn't want to rush things and become girlfriend and boyfriend before getting to know each other better, but after two months of talking every day and becoming so close, it felt like the right time). That holiday was perfect, during the day when he was working he was very open about his relationship with me, introducing me to customers he was friends with, giving me a kiss whenever he walked past me, and generally being very affectionate. During his break we would go for walks or he would buy me lunch, and after his shift finished we would stay in a hotel which we took it in turns to pay for (he wanted to pay every night and never asked me to, but knowing how little he earns I wouldn't let him). One night I was very sick and and he called my apartment and said he would use the tips he had earned that night to pay for a taxi (i couldn't walk) and a hotel room for us because he wanted to look after me. On the last night he told me he was in love with me and asked if I would visit him when the season finished so that we could spend proper time together before he started his winter job, so I booked to visit for 5 days at the beginning of November. Being apart this time was really hard for me, and resulted in some tension and arguments between us, we are both very stubborn so we clash sometimes. But we would always sort things out very quickly and it made us stronger as a couple. November came around and we spent five very lovely days in the village. He paid for an apartment for us and we took it in turns paying for lunch and groceries for dinner. He cooked for me every night, took me to the dog kennels because he knows I love dogs (even though he's terrified of them), introduced me to his cousins and friends, and generally was very thoughtful and generous (he would always try to buy me things and made a lot of effort to make sure I was always happy and having the best time possible). However, whilst I was there, something happened which has made me doubt him, and I'm so upset about it as despite what had happened in August, I had trusted him 100%. We were using his phone to put songs on YouTube, and a message from a customer I knew about (she was always tagging him and his friends in pictures on Facebook) came up, saying something along the lines of "why cant we just be together". I was pretty drunk and feeling brave (lol) so against my better judgement I opened and read the conversation, and it was along the lines of her telling him she loved him and him asking her why she was saying that and getting annoyed at her. It also showed he had borrowed money off of her. !!! Red flag !!! Immediately, I asked him about her. It turns out they had a short fling (two days) last year and she had never gotten over it and was in love with him, always asking him to go on dates and getting angry when he spoke to other female customers, even though he had made it clear to her that they were just friends. I asked if she knew about me and he said no, and explained that his boss had asked him to keep me a secret so that she would keep coming back to the resort restaurant every night to spend money. I asked him why he asked her for money, and he explained that he knew she would lend him money and he didn't want to ask me because I'm his girlfriend. I was really hurt that this was all kept a secret. I understand it's all part of their job, however I wish he had explained the situation to me instead of keeping it a secret. His reasoning was that although he kept wanting to tell me, he was scared he would lose me. I do understand his reasoning and I believe him that nothing happened between them, as while she was out there he was still calling me every night after work and falling asleep on the phone to me, and from her messages it's clear he was rejecting her. But, keeping secrets from me made me question whether I could trust him or not. I explained this to him and said, once again, that I can't be in a relationship with him if I can't trust him, and he has insisted that he will do everything possible to prove himself to me etc. Basically, I'm just so stuck. The time we spent together in September and November was perfect until I found out about the girl. In my heart, I feel like I can trust him. I think he lied to me because he was scared of what would happen (not an excuse but in all fairness I don't know if I would've reacted well), and although he could have told her about me, this would get him in a lot of trouble at work. He still calls me everyday and I want to be with him, however, my friends say he is using me, either for money or a visa, and that he has proved himself to be a liar. And due to him knocking my trust for him, it's put doubt into my head. The friend that has met him and seen us together thinks he is genuine but that it's not worth the stress he's caused me, but obviously I think he is worth it.. I do have a temper on me, if he does something that bothers me I will happily call him out on it, which has caused arguments. This other girl would do anything for him, and I get the impression he would have a very easy relationship with her. Surely if he just wanted a visa or money, he would be with her instead, and wouldn't have stuck with me through our issues and arguments. I know there is nothing between them anymore as he made that clear in the messages I saw, and he regularly uploads pictures of me and him on his social media which she follows/is friends with him on. He has hundreds of customers on these accounts, they definitely aren't secret accounts he uses just for me (I know that's a common thing). We had a long chat recently about how both of us have made mistakes and that we both need to be more understanding of each others needs, and I know we can be very happy together, but I'm hesitant. I guess my question is - do you guys think I'm being naive? My gut says I can trust him, but due to his actions and the words of others, I'm worried I'm falling into the same trap as other girls have.. Also - I would love to meet some more people with partners who live in Turkey. It would be great to chat to people who have been or still are dealing with the long distance or dating a resort worker etc! Thank you in advance and thank you if you managed to read the whole thing!, LC
  2. Hello, I was reading here some experiences about dating turkish girl. I have some experience as well. I met with turkish girl on net over 1 year ago. We were chating, skyping etc. Just we fell in love. As I have read some articles here about "how turkish girls behave" it is exactly about her. She was jealous, but I didn´t mind it it was pretty cute.. She wanted be in connection every day as much as possible... We had lot of plans about our meeting, then we started plan how to be together. She wanted come to Erasmus to my country. She was very excited about the idea and she was working hard about it almost all the year. She planed even things, which was sometimes very hard to believe they could be possible, but when I doubted anything, she was very sad, sometimes even angry like I don´t believe her and so on. Then, when the time for arrive came, unfortunately she couldn't come, because her friend didn´t get a visa (It was condition from her parents she can´t go alone, which I learned about in very last time from her). Then, when she couldn´t come, she was changing all her decisions... She started behave a bit bossy sometimes. She changes her decision quickly. When we don´t talk, she says she is sad and misses me. Then other days she says, she isn´t sure if she really loved me. Then again she wanna call with me and like so. When I say her I want to visit her in summer, always it makes her very happy. Btw: When we met, she said about me to her parents, but only to her mother said she feels something to me. From her behavior I feel long time very confused and for being honest it quite hurts me. I would like to meet her in real, because she is great. But really I don´t know what she feels and why does she do this always. Do you have any advice? Opinions? Do you have some similar experience? I apologize for long article. Jirka
  3. Hello all,I recently started dating a Turkish girl ( I live in the United States and she is here working for the summer). I am extremely interested in her so far, it has only been about a week of us hanging out, but I think she is very interested in me as well. I just want to know some of the customs and best practices for dating a Turkish woman. The best advice I've seen has been to buy then things--gold, etc. I don't know if this is old-school or if this girl is just different, but it doesn't seem like she would want or need to be showered with gifts. I of course pay for the big expenses when we have gone out, but she always offers to pay and I have reluctantly allowed her to pay for desert and things like that.Another thing is that she is set to go back to Turkey in about 2 months, so I don't have much time. I haven't really thought about long-term, I just know that I like her a lot so far--if we're still dating in 2 months I will figure things out from there.Thanks for any help!Best,Thomas
  4. I've met this guy through online dating app. He was a soldier. I'm a newbie professor living in the Philippines.. He was 23 and I'm 19. Now...he say he can't go to my country because turkey soldiers were banned to travel abroad since last year. Should i trust him on that? Coz i searched about turkey soldiers being banned to travel abroad....and i cant find similar to that...so...i made a fake account and add his soldier friends and other relatives. Then i asked them if its true then i got a positive reply...soldiers are banned to travel in other countries ...but i want more clarifications and advice... He say that he will buy me ticket so i can visit him in turkey. I told him that i can't go there just alone...so we agreed that i will visit him with mom. And mom's traveling cost will be my own expenses. He will buy a ticket just for me. I ask him if i can meet his family he say it must be good if we go to Cappadocia first. Hmm. Really i was suspecting him ..i don't know please help me...i also don't know what to ask here or to say ... Thanks in advance.
  5. I have travelled to Turkey a lot a speak the language fluently. I've only dated on Turkish man before. The relationship was very innocent so I have no experience with Turkish men in their early 20's.
  6. This is a crossroad for me. I am American and live in the U.S. I have been corresponding with a very nice gentleman that is Turkish and lives there. We haven't met in person yet, but we e-mail sometimes up to 5 times a day. We've grown increasingly fond of each other, so much so that he would like to come to America and marry me. I don't want to think with my heart with this because I've heard some horror stories. Like using me to obtain a Visa, or wanting money. I really need some information regarding all of this. I'm being very cautious and not one to just jump into something without researching it. We're both middle-age with adult children. I welcome any information about Turkish customs, lifestyles, religious beliefs, etc. We've known each other now for over 2 years.
  7. Robert

    American in Turkey

    Hello, My name is Robert. I am a 28 year old American who has been dating a Turkish woman for some time. While she is Turkish by nationality, she has an Albanian heritage and strong ties to it at that. We had known one another for roughly a year prior to forming any sort of intimate relationship. We are both madly in love and although it has not been long we are fully aware that this is our next step, marriage. I want to do this properly, as in abiding by all traditional Turkish customs. As I think this is important to her. I know some small details about asking her parents, speaking with her father drinking Chai or Kahve. But I really want to make sure that I do this the proper way. So I guess my question is does anyone have any advice or really any awareness of customs when it comes to making a Turkish proposal? I have had the opportunity to meet her parents, prior to us dating and they know who I am. BUt this October will be the first time they meet me as more than just a friend of hers. thank you everyone all advice is greatly appreciated and I am looking forward to both going to vist her and the future that we are starting.
  8. Hello! I am new to this and need some advice! I met a Turkish guy who was working In the hotel I was staying in. We hit it off and have kept in touch. (even though there is a bit of a language barrier!) He has told me he Loves me and wants to be with me but then one day from nowhere he told me he 'might' have a Turkish girlfriend! I told him we will just stay friends and nothing else... Then a few weeks later he messaged me to say they had split up because he wants to be with me and wants to Marry me! I have heard the stories about 'holiday romances' before and I don't know if I should believe him! Is he saying this to other girls he has met in the hotel? Help!
  9. Hello. My apologies if this is the wrong area to post this but this is a fairly broad question. The backstory of this as follows. I am a British male and I met a Turkish girl online through mutual interests about two years ago. We quickly discovered we have a strong connection and we've always felt like we were just made for each other. I've met her once briefly and I am going to meet her again early next year. At this point we've been doing long distance for a long time. It even got too hard at one point and reluctantly we took a break. My question is this. Is it possible for our relationship to work? We want to be together but immigration seems like it will make that almost impossible. She is starting to feel like just being long distance and travelling to see each other as often as possible just isn't enough. It makes life too difficult despite how much we care about each other. I can't blame her for that but I really don't want to give up on this unless there is no chance. Are there any options for us to be together that you can recommend? We would love to be able to live together but the only thing I can think of is to save money, get a tourist or resident permit and just live together in Turkey until my time runs out. Of course that's not ideal either because I'd then have to go home for god knows how long, get another job and save more money. This is the girl I can see myself starting a family with. Is there any path we can take to have a life together?
  10. Hey everyone. I'm a 21 year old guy who has been living in Turkey for 2 months near Izmir. I'm half Turkish half English and I speak Turkish fluently. I have an English name and when ever I tell people they name they look at me so weird haha as my Turkish is actually perfect. I didn't grow up with a big family like most Turks and pretty much grew up with just my mother and brother. Me and my brother both moved here and have started a business which has been doing really well so finances is not an issue at all. I'm having trouble understanding the dating culture here. Whats the best way to ask these girls out? How many dates until you can go for the kiss, hold hands and stuff? I understand that girls want to get married once they start dating a guy and I'm ok with that as I would love to settle with a nice Turkish girl. I'm also skinny (going to start hitting the gym as its getting a little embarrassing haha) but I dress well (suit whenever I'm at work) and drive a nice car. I just feel like the girls aren't very interested. I also have a hard time understanding the humour and I'm sometimes lost for words as I don't want to say stupid things. I also live near Izmir.
  11. Im in a relashionship with a Turkish hansome Guy, We are both Master degree Students, im 30 years old and he is 29. But we are been together for 2 Months but we never kiss each other, because he never ask me... I really want to kiss him, but i dont ask him, because i dont want to seen desesperate.... How long i have to wait?? How long do you waint until you receive the first kiss from Turkish boyfriend???..
  12. Hello, My name is Cameron. I'm prior military(US Army). Just got back home a few months ago and decided to restart my life. I signed up on a dating/social app called POF. I met a woman on there who's Turkish. Very traditional mindset but with a modern american twist. We're both Muslim and shes stunning with an accent that's to die for. Now I'm 23 and she's 25. Culturally these are the typical ages where one should be focused on family and things of that sort. I've had my fair share of run ins with ladies at bars, clubs, and other social events. However, I'm not sure what it is about this woman but i cant get her out of my mind. We've seen each other a few times and its nothing like what I'm used too. Sometimes i'm not sure what to or how to prove to her that I'm serious. Shes very attractive and I'm more than sure theres alot of guys hitting on her but it makes me happy knowing that she wants to spend time with me. shes grabbed my hands a few times and has given me kisses on the cheek when i drop her off. Sadly i found out that she has to leave in about 5 months because of her tourist visa. She says shes willing to stay and things for like school or something. Shes the most beautiful woman I've ever had want to get to know me and i don't want to rush anything but I'm not sure how to get her to see that i want her. To show her that I'm willing to take her serious.She wants a real relationship and marriage and a family. Which in time i'm more than willing to give to her. Does anybody have any tips on this? I've never posted on something like this before and never really asked for advice because i was quite wild before the military so never thought about it. But after the military my outlook on life changed and now i want the same thing she does. But is it worth going for even if she may possibly leave in half a year? I've never been in love before and don't know if this would cause more harm than good. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
  13. I have a bit of a strange situation. I've been doing a lot of reading but there is just so complication information out there that I feel I just need some direct advice after explaining my situation. I'm a 22 year old UK citizen. I'm currently unemployed though I am actively looking for full time work. I currently have around £5000 in savings. I was in a relationship with a Turkish girl for almost a year but because neither of us were in a position to travel and see each other things eventually got strained and we reluctantly decided to break up. Not long ago we got back in touch and have been talking a lot. It feels to both of us like we never even broke up. Our situations have changed and I plan on going to visit her on a 1 week holiday to turkey in June provided she is okay with it, I didn't actually ask her yet. I want to be with this girl more than anything and I don't want the complications that screwed us over last time to happen again. I see this as a second chance and I'm not willing to let it slip by. I'm fully committed to finding a way to be with her. I'm also fully aware that getting her to the UK would be next to impossible, but me going to Turkey and potentially living there permanently is something I would absolutely be willing to do, though I have no idea what the requirements would be or how I would work. For now my question is this. Right now she is working, her contract will end soon and she is currently living with her parents and has been using the opportunity to save as much money as possible. She really wants to get her own place though as she doesn't have a good relationship with her parents. I believe I read that on a tourist visa I could stay in Turkey up to 90 days. My question is would I be able to use a tourist visa to go over there for a few months and live with her if she got her own place, ideally helping support her financially through savings as well. And I suppose a follow up question would be how would I go about spending longer and longer periods there? Of course I plan on having worked for a while in the UK before really going for this. I need to be with this girl. If any of you have any experiences which could help me get from where I am now to seeing her frequently I would be very grateful.
  14. Hello everyone! I have just joined the forum and am so glad to have found a place where I can seek advice about my situation. I am an 18 year old girl living in Ireland. I met this turkish guy at the restaurant I started working at 8 months ago and have liked him from the start. He is 27 and has been living here for 3 years now. It was very obvious to me that we both had a connection from the start but neither of us worked up the guts to address the issue. We've always flirted..but in the last few months it's become so much more then that. Last week we finally talked about it and told each other how we feel. I can't quite say that we are in love yet,but it's definitely heading down that road. When he found out I felt the same way, he was left reeling. Bottom line is we both want to be together, but my parents are very religious and traditional people and there would be talk of disowning me from the family if we got together,I'm certain. This guy..He is like no one else I've met before. He doesn't overdo the charming thing like I've read many turkish man do...and he doesn't get touchy feel too often. But when he does,it melts my heart. He said he's been waiting for someone like me for years and he's finally found me. Anyhow,seeing as I'm only 18 and still living with parents , I suggested that we wait a year as friends to figure out if what we are feeling is true or not,and for me to be a bit older. If we still long for each other by the end of the year, I am willing to fight for it and give it a proper shot. I can't help but feel this tiny seed of doubt in the back of my mind that he is too good to be true and that there has to be a catch. He was born muslim but isn't awfully interested in the whole "religious" aspect of things. I would really appreciate any advice or opinions that people would have..it'd be a great help.
  15. jillyanne92

    Moving abroad before army

    Hi my fiancée and I have been together for 4 years. He's turkish and I'm British and he's coming 21 years of age. He has delayed the army for a few years due to his mums health and is due to go in, in 2017. We're quite happy to do this however, several of his family members have said if I got a lawyer on the English side he will have a chance to come into the country before he does his army service and we would be able to buy out of it after 3 years... Does anyone know the possibility or risks of this? Before we pay out for help and end up with nothing. This would be so much better for us if possible as my father is ill and it would be a chance to get to know each other before he passes and also be able to start a family. If not we will continue on with our original plan.
  16. Selam Arkadaslar! I am really thankful that I found this site! I am Jane and I am from the Philippines. I met my turkish boyfriend through online dating site. We've been together for more than a year now and I love him so much. We've been through a lot problems but we still managed to be together and keep our relationship strong. For the past months I am having a hard time trusting my boyfriend. He cheated on me by having online girlfriends and now I feel that something is wrong again. Anyway my question is my boyfriend ask me to delete or hide my cover photo on Facebook (photo is a collage of picture of him and me together) because he said his sister will get angry at him if she sees it. He said that it is disrespectful for his family and friends if they see and found out that we are officially together without me meeting his family first. I just want to understand is this is true? Is it forbidden for him to acknowledge me or make our relationship known to his family and friends if I haven't met his family? I would really appreciate your help. Thank you in advance.
  17. Hello, I am sorry for the long post. I have been in a long distance relatioship for 1 year 4 months now with a Turkish/Armenian Girl. It i a long distance realtionship. I have met her parents as I have visited. Now down the road im beginning to get confused about the culture and dating. I Love this girl so much. She invited me to visit and meet her parent which I did and was so greatful and had the best time of my life with her. I got to learn some of the culture esspecially when it comes to dating. I understand that there are certain ways that I must go about it to show respect to her, her parent and her culture. Like holding hands and sitting to close etc.... But recently I have found myself feeling like she is now keeping me a secret as she said we are not allowed to be in an open relationship because of her culture. For example one day I wanted to surprise her and possible bring a smile to her face as I added the "In a Relationship Status" on my Profile and had tagged her name in it. Keep in mind we have been dating for over a year and already met her parent. I was soon confronted by her and she was very angry that I had done so saying that its not allowed. She didnt explain why. I then began to research the rules and customs of dating in her culture. I felt myself really upset as I do not see why I must remain a secret to certain people, I feel. Maybe the rest of her family would not approve. I have been trying so hard to keep up afloat and now she tells me I am pushing to much. I am forcing my Love out when it should just come. We have had a rough few month as I did let the communtcation die off for a bit and I have accepted I was in the wrong for doing so and I should have been there for her. But now when I am here, when I try to keep our relationship alive and communication open. She tells me she is confused and I am trying to hard. i need to relax. Am I over thinking this? Am I over reacting? I do not want to be a secret or treated as such. She doesn't pick up on this. I am not forcing myself to be here for her but i am just being here because I love her and want to be here for her. She doesnt even have the interest to skype me anymore which hurts as I would only love to see my loves beautiful smile once in a while. I cant even get a picture. But I do make sure and send pictures and videos for her just so she may not feel that I am miles away. It is a long distance relationship. I am working my hardest to make it work and hopefully soon be able to move to her. I'm afraid how things are going it wont last to that point and it terrifies me. I LOVE HER, She Loves me or atleast she says she does. Am I missing something. Am i asking to much not to want to be a secret. Why should it matter who knows? is the culture that strict to dating as to where I cant even openly say we are in a relationship. Even after meeting her parents? What Do I do? Where can I begin to understand and learn. Im afraid she will over react if I just tell her "I don't want to be a secret in you life but I want to be apart of it as you are apart of mine" PLEASE Help!
  18. Hi everyone, I'm very new to this so please bare with me, I have been reading some of your threads for the last few months and playing with the thought of asking for some advice for myself. Finally got the courage to throw my story out there and hope some of you could give me some honest opinions and help me out. So here go's .... So I am in a relationship with a Turkish man I met whilst on holiday in Marmaris at the beginning of October last year, I am supposed to visit him a week today.I will firstly explain how we met as much as I know how wrong it was and I know most of you will be appalled but please hear me out. I'll start at the very beginning I'm a 21 year old Scottish girl, I was on holiday in Marmaris Oct 13 with my partner of 7 years (been together since we were 14 and we had a very turbulent relationship and many reasons why we should not have been together) we actually booked the holiday as a last resort to fixing our relationship but it became quite the opposite and we spent most of the holiday apart, him spending 95% of the week drunk (which is fine he was on holiday after all ) but making no effort with me at all and getting seriously drunk to the point of me having to look after him for example One night we went out for drinks in seven brothers bar and he locked himself in the toilet too drunk to help himself the staff actually had to kick the door down :|!!!!! anyway So after spending 4 days at each others throat and me wanting to cut the holiday short I decided to stay down at the hotel bar myself, I sat there until closing time having a laugh with the staff and a few other guests, a couple of them were going to a nightclub afterwards and offered me to come along, so I accepted headed back to my room for a quick change my partner was passed out and so I headed out I had an amazing time have never laughed in such a long time. That night one of the guys who worked at the hotel bar had really caught my eye, so handsome and he was really funny and I felt myself being drawn to him almost, So having had a bit too much to drink myself at this point I decided to speak to him and asked him if he wanted to leave the club and go for a walk he didn't speak brilliant English but he must have understood as he followed me anyway we walked about for a bit, I felt so attracted to him, really wanted to kiss him but just then as I was having these thoughts it all kind of hit home for me what I was doing was so wrong, I was so drunk that I started crying and he held me looking so worried asking me over and over what was wrong and to smile, he wiped my tears gave me his jacket in case I was cold, all the while asking me what was wrong, Crying I asked him to take me back to my hotel which he did with no hesitation on the walk back to the hotel he kept asking why I was sad and asking me never to cry and only to be happy I couldn't explain why I was upset because his English wasn't great I wasn't sure he would understand, We got back to the hotel and I just said goodbye quickly and basically ran back to my room, my partner at the time still fast asleep having no idea where I had been, The next morning we had booked a boat trip, I spent the full day on that boat thinking about him and trying to think of excuses to talk to him again. When we got back to the hotel I found myself looking for him even though I tried to hide it, I was elated when my partner asked me if we could sit in the hotel that night with another couple we knew there. All night I was on the edge of my seat hoping I would see him, It was getting late my partner was again very very drunk and had spent all they money he had left so had to go to the bank just as he left with 2 other guys we were sitting with the man I had been searching for all night came up from behind me and asked me If I was okay, I had butterflies in my stomach the lot I felt like a giggly little school girl!! the remainder of that night we kept having eye contact and cheeky smiles, I'll be honest I had forgotten my partner was even gone when I remembered I went up to our hotel room to find him passed out empty bottle of whisky at his feet. I sat out on the balcony trying to clear my head and telling myself I had to forget about him. Just then I heard whistling, I had the urge to look behind me willing It to be the turkish waiter but I knew I was just fantasising until someone whistled 3 more times I turned round and It was him!!!!!!!! My heart Skipped a beat. he waved to me then said 'good night' blew me a kiss and left. I hardly slept a wink all night my head was buzzing my heart was fluttering I had no idea what was happening to me I can assure you I am not the hopeless romantic type. The following day I had a word with my partner told him how I felt about his drunk behaviour and asked him since this would be our last night in Marmaris If he would mind not drinking too much and actually try to have a good time together ( I had already made it clear to myself that I was not going to think/look for this Turkish guy I knew it was so wrong and foolish of me to even contemplate it to be anything more than it was) during the day by the pool I seen him at the bar but I didn't stare at him or smile nothing just acted as normally, He brought my drinks over from the bar I thanked him as I had every other member of staff and walked away even though I could feel myself die a little inside, By mid day my partner was again absolutely sloshed. We had booked to have Our pictures taken and he could hardly even stand up for them, I had to take him up stairs at 8:30pm because he was so drunk falling asleep at the table I sat in the hotel room until 9.30 myself Then I decide I was not spending my last night of vacation in that way, I put my partner In the recovery position In case he was sick and went to the bar alone. around 10 o'clock I was just about to head up to my room to pack our cases when another guy who worked behind the bar came over and told me to meet 'Fatih' at the super market in 10 minutes, I did not know anything about this and did not even know for sure it was him but on a whim I went. It was him he asked me if I would like to go to bar street with him he had taken the night off work and he would like to take me out and wanted me to meet his friends. I didn't even think twice and I went, We partied all night long I met a few of his friends and one of his friends girlfriends who happened to be English and I got on really great with her and she could speak Turkish so she helped me get to know him and she translated for me also, after the club the other couple and us both took a lovely walk around the marina, sat in a park, went to a kebab shop before getting a taxi back to the hotel. It was a wonderful night I felt was on cloud 9!! He asked to add me on Facebook and for my number, I got the English girl to tell him i would add him on Facebook and asked her to describe my current relationship status and that I was grateful for everything but I had a boyfriend, He nodded and I could see he understood He then told me He felt really special about me and has never met anyone so beautiful but he respected my relationship. He walked me to the stairs kissed my hand and I said good bye, I knew I would never see him again and Did not want to miss the chance to kiss him so I basically ran back over and Had the most passionate kiss I have ever had my whole entire life. I did not want It to end he looked so shocked as I blew him a kiss and walked into my hotel he just stood there looking ahead like a lost puppy. When I got to my room My partner was awake and we had a blazing row, I packed our cases and went to sleep the next morning our transfer to airport was at 9am my partner and I did not exchange any words that morning, another couple we had met there was leaving on the same transfer as us so we met up with them downstairs while waiting, Fatih appeared at the hotel my face dropped. He smiled at me and walked over to speak to me I mouthed no and he nodded as if he understood and still he waited when the bus came my partner left me with all the cases and luggage got on the bus and sat down did not even look back at me, Fatih came over helped me put my bags on the bus and then just waved at me with a petted lip and said 'please Facebook me as soon as you are home', even as the bus pulled away he waited waving and blew me a kiss. It was heart breaking I could feel my eyes well up. As we boarded the plane I sat holding the tears back as wee took off the tears just rolled down my cheeks no matter how hard I tried to hold them back. Over the course of the following days being back at home we exchanged messages and were able to have actual conversations using translating websites and I tried to pretend I didn't care telling him It was just a holiday romance as lovely as it was and that I had a Life here ect. He persisted no matter how stand offish I was. I Only lasted a few days when I eventually had to tell my partner what was going on as I was so guilt ridden, He was angry and yes he brought me down to nothing told me how worthless I am that I was just a number to this guy I was talking to, I knew he had a valid point. We had our own house together at this point and Neither of us could afford to move out so we remained living together yet not together as a couple, It lasted 2 months he made my life a living hell anything he could do to hurt me or make my life difficult he did it. All the while Fatih continued to message me daily, Skype me and we talked on the phone when we could I could feel myself falling head over heels but I did not show this to him. So I moved in with my grandparents and wrote my relationship with my partner off completely and I tell you It was a very long time coming. Wow that was a very long winded story I thank anyone who Is still reading lol!! I hope you now have a rough idea of how we met, the situation and that I have now separated from my partner at the time. Its been about 6 months or so now, Myself and Fatih are now 'in a relationship' have been for a few months. We have spoken about our future, including cultural differences ect. We both seem to understand the difficulties Involved in a long distance relationship and other aspects of our relationship that might cause 'issues' I have read many of the threads on here and they have answered many questions for me, aswell as made me ask a lot of questions also, I have read other peoples story's of happy relationships as well as some not so happy endings unfortunately, I would like to think I have a sensible head on regardless of how infatuated I may seem I assure you I have not taken these decisions lightly I have spent many hours reading forums such as these along with countless news articles and talking to people in a similar situation. My friends think I am crazy and think I threw my 7 year relationship away for a holiday romance, they did not know of the long standing problems we faced as a couple, My family adored my Ex just as much and also did not know of these problems and The unhappiness we were very good at 'keeping up appearances'. At the moment I am facing a decision whether I should follow my heart and go, I would love to see him again and when I was with him before he was a Lovely guy who made me laugh, I believe after spending 1/3 of my lifetime (the best years of my life) with the wrong person who abused me and took away every ounce of confidence I had I have not much else to lose, I have lost many of my best friends very young and I believe Life is to short to live with what ifs any more I want to live in the moment. Worst comes to worst I can get a flight and head home and never look back. Although If I decide to do this Its going to have consequences and possibly destroy a few friendships, My family wont like It but they wont stop me or love me any less. For this reason I would have to go alone, which I am fine with I'm a fairly independent girl, I've looked after myself and my younger brother since I was 12 living with my Violent alcoholic mother. I'm not saying this makes me wise or any more sensible I have read about a lot of really sensible people getting caught up in the heat of the moment and giving up everything for a new romance. I honestly feel like its Only a weeks holiday to get to spend some time together get to know each other a little better ect. I should Also add that he is 25 and from Konya who does work in the tourist area of Marmaris. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and I thank anyone In advance for helping me out, Oh and anyone who's taken the time to read my life story lol. kindest regards xxx
  19. I am a Young Turkish-American who is in his mid 20's born and raised in the States. I just recently finished school and didn't get a degree, due to not being able to get accepted into a Vocational Program. I am trying to figure out what to do with my life. I just recently this summer came back from a trip to see my relatives and I first of all have to say I really enjoy seeing the lifestyle there. I enjoyed being around my relatives, as well as the hospitality of all my relatives. I cried seeing kids playing happily in the streets of the neighborhoods, as I don't see this stuff at all in local Southern California neighborhoods. I also have noticed that when I am shopping malls, airports and other places, I have caught myself staring at girls way more in one month then I do in a whole year and am interested in meeting a girl from Turkey. I was wondering, how do more physically attractive girls in Turkey think like. Will the judge you if your not physically attractive (I don't look like a macho bad boy, I am really skinny, I have a really high pitched tone of voice, I look way younger then my actual age, and consider myself extremely plain looking), do not have a Bachelors Degree (due to struggling with a Behavioral+Learning Disability) and I am taking some time to figure out what to do with your life. As a person, I have a good personality, am very fun to be around, and whenever my relatives back in Turkey see me, they consider me to be really fun to be around and I have younger male cousins who look up to me and greatly respect me. Can a person like me get away with mainly a nice personality, fun to be around and having a good sense of humor, or will girls and their families be judgmental just because I am lacking some strengths as a person. I mean if I date a girl, I will be willing to do things like treat her like a queen, be as fun to be around as possible, do things like clean the house up and make food and other things. I will even better myself as a human being too. So will having a good personality be enough to get girls that look like on a 8/10 scale. Another thing is since I just recently went on a trip to see my relatives who live all the way in Turkey, I had so much fun and so much amazing memories hanging out various places, which I don't think I will be enjoying for a while if you ask me. I was going to nice pristine beaches drinking on the beach, meeting random people during the summer vacation, trying to talk to random girls at beach places and island places, having good times with my cousins and so on. This had led me almost consider living there for a couple of years, see how it is like and how I can improve my Turkish language skills. I was originally considering to look into starting a Small Business, or get my Insurance License, or start Writing Books to earn $, but now, this trip I have enjoyed a whole lot really makes me think, boy I miss seeing all of my relatives so much to the point I want to live there. But will it be realistic for me to move there all the sudden the same year after enjoying this trip, or should I just build a career in the States for a while, maybe going to see relatives more and maybe move permanently in the future once I can speak Turkish fluently (I have a hang of the language somewhat but need improvement). What is your take about this issue guys about what girls I am looking for and whether if they will judge me or not? What about how realistic it is to move to Turkey maybe in a few months to year, or maybe in a few years? I'd like to hear some opinions.
  20. Good morning all - I am brand new here and hoping for some advice. I've seen a few postings on this same topic, but of course each situation is different. Let me start by saying I am a very level-headed, smart, put-together, established woman in the US. I can spot dishonesty a mile away. 6,000 miles away? I'm not so sure. I can't even believe I'm typing this, because I can't believe I have found myself in this predicament at this stage of my life (I am 42 years young). That all being said, I know next-to-nothing about the Turkish culture, other than the few things I've read about the men (and not to stereotype at all) being relentlessly charming, sweeping women off their feet, multiple women in many cases... argh! So here goes. I "met" a man online through Facebook a few months ago. We have chatted almost every night via FB or phone, and much to my chagrin, I have become completely smitten. Am I surprised? Knowing me, YES! This man has had a hold on me (emotionally) since day one. He definitely knows what to say to me. I am trying to not get TOO involved emotionally but that is becoming increasingly difficult. We have had many conversations, but some things you would rather talk about face-to-face you know? That isn't really a possibility right now, so we've just been trying to get to know each other. He speaks very good English, so the language barrier isn't a problem. I've asked many questions and he always seems to have the right answers, making me wonder "IS this man for real?" Obviously, I am taking things very slow. I have let him know that he has to come to the US before I will come to Turkey (I have two early teenage children and it's not like I can up and leave them). There is so much unknown here, yet at the same time, so much exciting to me. I've just always been so skeptical of anyone who appears too good to be true, because in my experience, the devil has been lurking beneath. I guess my question to you all would be this... Are there any pointed questions I could ask him to be clear on what his intentions really are, and if he truly feels the way he says he does? Of course you can say anything on the phone and be whoever you want to be on the internet. I'm not at all blind to this. I know this is next to impossible having never met, but unfortunately, we cannot choose who we fall in love with. I fear my heart is already too far gone, but would be much worse should we meet and things go awry. I'm certainly not trying to get my heart broken yet again. I am pretty sure this qualifies me as crazy, but I want so much to believe it is real. Any advice for a newbie is greatly appreciated! Thank you.
  21. I'm not sure how to start these things at all but I'll try and sum everything up so I'm not boring yous lol in August of this year I went to Marmaris and stayed at the same hotel i stayed at two years previous. I went with my parents as my 18th birthday present and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I mingled with a lot of people from different parts of England (I am scottish and never really met anyone from outside of Scotland apart from foreign countries). I stay in contact with them all now it was just great! anyways, so when I went to Turkey I had no intentions of romances or anything like that, just a relaxing holiday away from my home and work! I added a lot of the newer staff on facebook on the Sunday night after my birthday (first week almost over) and on the Monday night my - now boyfriend- added me too. we started chatting over facebook whilst he worked during the day and night in the hotel. we really hit it off and he was always waiting our tables and he knew I wasn't willing to tell my parents right away because I wasn't sure how they would react. we would speak all day and exchange glances. I would be lying by the pool looking absolutely awful after having no make up on, wet hair and braces (yeah not confident about those haha) and he would always come out of the bar to be able to smile at me. any chance he got, he would walk past and touch my arm or just smile and say hiya. he begged to meet up outside of the hotel and I was really reluctant due to stories and the old tales I've heard about Turkish guys. that's when I told my parents that I did quite fancy him and would want to go and hang out with him. so on his night off we went out to a local bar and I did pay just for the drinks, which he was very very unhappy about (it was supposed to be the park we met but I took him to a bar beside it - just for my own reassurance). however, he's not the best English but we got on really well, we laughed and smile the whole night and I just had butterflies. like hardcore butterflies! I left a week after we started speaking we still message everyday and webcam as much as we can and its going great. I speak to one of his best friends who told me when I was there that he (boyfriend) speaks about me all the time and he's never seen him so happy etc! his best friend has now left the hotel to go back home and they still speak and his best friend tells me that he still speaks great things about me! I am not a religious person but I told my boyfriend I dont believe in premarital sex. I'm not in judgement of those who do at all, it's just something I've wanted to keep for myself (if that makes any sense). I might change my mind on that when I go out to see him again but he was very understanding that I have not and do not plan on sleeping with anyone until marriage. he has openly said he's been in a long distance relationship before and that he has previously had sex with someone which never bothered me at all. (he's 21). I'm not sure where I'm going with his actually but any advice I would be so happy to receive, or if there is any girls dating Turkish guys from Marmaris please message me so we can speak on Facebook or something and hopefully meet up one day. none of my friends really understand it, they're not judgemental, but they just don't get it because they've never been in a relationship like this before so it would be nice to meet and talk to some people that do! Rebecca xx
  22. I have gone through pretty much all of the posts here for an answer but nothing quite exactly the same. I am Chinese (not a Muslim) in Asia and the Turkish boy has been here for work for the past few years. I am older by 5 years and he is currently 31. We have been dating for over a year now and we have gotten serious and talking about marriage. I have recently also flown to Turkey to meet with his family (and he has met mine) but unfortunately they are adamant against us having a future and instead wants to find him a suitable candidate. He wants to end the relationship now as he sees no future to this to continue. I know family ties are really strong especially in traditional family but I am reluctant to let go of something i firmly believe in. Although i also understand that love isnt the priority in muslim families. I just am not sure if I should hang on for the sake of hoping they will eventually relent since he has a couple more years here and will not be moving back to Turkey so soon. And that he is quite ready to settle down but we just dont see how we can work this out without breaking his family ties. I have going to start understanding Islam more too for the sake of the promise i have made to him and myself since we started dating and also to find peace in myself. But i cant say i am not hanging on that Allah can give us a miracle here. Anyone has seen a miracle as such happen? I think the fact that i am older than him also plays a huge part in their objection since it may not be so easy for me to conceive now. I need a glimmer of hope. So desperate that this is the first time i am actually posting on any forum for support.
  23. Hello Everyone I would like to introduce myself,I am 25 years old born and raised in a super small town in Georgia. I am new to this forum and I have recently started dating a Turkish man and some things have been a little on the too good to be true side of things with him and I need to insight and some advice. I've never dated anyone that was from another country before so this is all new to me. And I just want to protect myself if need be. So I will start from the beginning on how my relationship came about with my Turkish boyfriend... I just moved to California from a small southern town in Georgia a month ago (huge difference obviously) and my friend told me about this online dating site to where you can possibly date someone or just be friends with people and since I am new to the area I decided to give it a shot. Granted I have never done the whole online dating scene but again I gave it a shot. So I met this man (which is now my boyfriend who is Turkish) And our first date was simple we met for coffee and talked for like 3 hours. And he seemed normal. And seemed really sweet. By the second date again he was very sweet and a gentlemen, he took me to a romantic restraunt and whooed me so to speak(which I've never had that done for me before) so it was nice. And granted the date went really well. By the third date he told me that he was really happy with me and that he really liked me and all this and I felt the same way which is very true. Now we've only been boyfriend and girlfriend so to speak for 2 weeks and he's already told me that he's in love with me. And telling me that I am the only one for him, and that he can't live without me and thank God he found me, and that he wants to spend forever with me, and wants to marry me. So as I've talked with several of my girlfriends about this they all think that is really sweet of him and they say oh my god he's the perfect man. I on the other hand think that's pretty odd especially since we don't really know one another. So anyways we've been dating for 2 weeks and I've already met most of his family that live here in California. And I have spent the night with him a few times and he's pretty much confessing his undying love for me. And says that he wants to marry me and make LOTS of babies with me. His family seems to like me which is good I mean I am very family oriented myself and I know that if family doesn't like the person you are dating 9 times out of 10 its not going to work. However his parents tell him that I am a beautiful and nice woman and that he needs to hang on to me and hurry up and marry me. He has even said that he wants to take me to Turkey this September. I have never been out of the country so its a little scary for me. But he said that he wants to take me. Now I have googled alot of things about dating turkish men and what are some of the issues American girls have with them and I must say that I am a little freaked out. My boyfriend is very sweet, charming, and makes me really happy and treats me very very well but at the same time I feel like he's rushing things. And I feel like maybe he is too good to be true. But then again I don't want to think negative about him because I know that not all Turkish men are the same. But since we come from two different cultures that kinda concerns me. My family are hardcore southern people who freaked out when I moved out here just because I wanted to experience life. And I am afraid that with our families being so different that it will cause a problem in our relationship. So if ya'll could comment and give me some advice on what you think that I should do or how to approach this whole situation would be great because I am totally clueless.
  24. Hello All, I am an English teacher at a university preparatory program in Ankara, and I need some dating advice from someone who knows Turkish women and dating customs. I have started seeing a Turkish woman who is also my colleague at work. She has informed me that it could be bad for her if our relationship became known around the office, so we've been keeping things on the DL. I'm fine with that, but recently she's started behaving in a way that mystifies me, and I need some advice on how to handle it. After a couple dates, on which we held hands, danced, and kissed, she and I had a talk where she told me two things: the thing about keeping our dating a secret, which I understand perfectly, and something else, along the lines of "can we not give (our relationship) a name for now?" Since then, she's been very hard to pin down - when I ask her if she wants to go out, she seems to have other plans. Also, she's been texting me a lot less frequently than a couple weeks ago when we first started going out. In America, where I'm from, this usually means the girl's not interested and you should just give up, you lovesick puppy. But I've talked to several people about this, including at least one Turkish (female) friend who thinks this girl might be playing hard to get. Here's the thing: I HATE games like this. The only reason I haven't given up is because I'm very interested in this girl. But I don't know how I should react - in the U.S., the general wisdom is to play it cool, don't come across as pushy or needy, and if she's interested she'll come to you, hopefully attracted by the fact that you have the strength of character not to text her a zillion times a day. But I'm concerned that this strategy may not work here - that in fact, maybe she WANTS me to keep showing her lots of attention, even though she remains aloof. Either way, I think my Turkish friend's right - I'm in some sort of trial period. But what are the evaluation criteria? Thanks in advance for any advice you can give. ~A. P.S. I wanted to post this as a poll but I have no idea how.
  25. Hi! I'm Alex, I am Asian and I have a boyfriend from turkey. I met him online and we've been in a relationship for almost a year now. I had no idea that I'd be falling for him. But, he proved of his good intentions. We started exchanging messages for at least a month before he confessed. Since then, we've been in love. He already introduced me to his friends but not yet to his family and he said that he needed time before doing so. I respect that. Neither have I introduced him to mine. I don't want to be blinded about my feelings for him, so I searched about what typical Turks are. I must say, its overwhelming. Coz most of the things I read are good and matched his sooo good characteristics. The others I read are somehow, not so impressing, but I know that its in general. But there's this one that caught my attention and it says something like this: That Turks only go for non-Turk for sex and then leave them after. It made me feel off.. Anyway, he had never been to our country and we've been talking about him coming over anytime soon. I'm feeling so anxious to seeing him. But the thing about what I read online is making me worry. I need advice. THANKS in advance.