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Hi everyone out there! I am Norwegian and my boyfriend, Mahmut, is Turkish. We have been together for a while now, and he is now in the army to do his time. He has been there now for 4 months and have left 8 months. I've come here because I was hoping if there is anyone that has been in a similar situation that could maybe help me with some advice and support on how to still keep my head up and basically hang on, because right now I am at a breaking point. The thing is that in April he was supposed to get a vacation time where we finally were gonna see each other again, and it's also our anniversary. This is something we have been counting down for and been excited about for a very long time. The problem now is that he told me today that when he gets his vacation time he has to work, and because of that there is no point in me going there when I won't get to see him during that time. He knows how upsetting that makes me, but then again I understand some what why he has to work. We are used to being 1 month apart where I go back to Norway, and after 1 month I get to see him again. So being away from him this long is really hard and I have never been through this before so I don't know how, or how to think, to be able to still keep my head up and hang on at this point. Many tell me to keep myself occupied and do activities at all times to make time go by faster, but my problem is that I am unemployed right now and struggling to get a job, and my life is not exactly exciting. I know that I don't want to give up on our relationship and I am trying so hard to keep it all together, but right now, after he told me he can't be able meet me in April, I have a hard time accepting the fact I have to wait until he's finished until I get to see him. I know I should not be complaining about this, and that there is people out there that don't get to see their loved ones for years, and it also might sound very selfish to some people. But like I said I have never been in this type of relation ship and I don't know how to keep myself both physically and mentally "stable" for this situation, and that's where I need some help. Thank you and I appreciate that you are taking your time for this!!
So I am American and my turkish boyfriend recently had to complete his military service. We are very careful about being in contact once a week when he has his off day. He is stationed in Ankara which is supposedly the safest place to be, but the problem is I have not heard from him this week or last week. He has not even been online at all either. I know he would never ignore me for the sake of breaking up with me or something ridiculous like that, so I'm not exactly sure what else could be going on. Has anything happened recently in Ankara besides the U.S. embassy bombing? Is there any way the army would give him a punishment that would prevent him from speaking to me on his off days? Someone please help, I really want to be put at ease.
I’ve been reading some of the previous postings and thought hopefully someone could possibly advise me in my situation.I would like my Turkish boyfriend to come visit me in the London, the main reason for this is I would like to see how he can adapt to London life as he has never visited the UK. Seeing this will let me know if we have a future together.I visited/stayed with his family in Mersin in November and they are very lovely.I bonded with his family and found myself thinking more seriously of a future with him.I will visit them again March next year. I have read some horror stories and yes I am worried, my family are worried but I know if they met him they would love him, but this is why I want him to come to the UK to see if me and him have a future. He has never asked for money and he is working to pay for his own flight tickets etc. Options: 1 – Comes to UK on a Tourist /General Visa, multiple visits up to 6 months, problem is he cannot work, which will be frustrating for him. But he can meet my friends and family and see how he integrates in the UK. How easy is it for him to obtain a permit to work once he is on a tourist visa? Or is this not advisable. 2- Ankara Agreement – I have read about this but he is not a ‘skilled’ worker. He is a carpenter; furniture maker however has no qualification on paper to show this. 3- Fiance Visa, this way I get time to see if me and him have a future together in the UK and gives us 6 months to ‘decide’ if we get married . But what happens if the relationship doesn’t work. Would I have to inform the Home Office and he goes back to Turkey I assume. If me and him work out then we marry in the 6months and he applies for settlement I guess. Does he need an pass English test before? This is the easier option? Me and him have spoken a lot about this, we do not want to rush, but I know if he goes to the army, I would be very disheartened if I have to wait over a year till he is finished. I want him to see what London life is like. If he doesn’t like London and we decide we still want to be together, we have spoken about the possibility of me moving turkey. But I would definitely want to marry in the UK. And I am initially thinking of me and him having a life in UK not Turkey.I earn £30,000 a year and I rent my apartment, I do not own a property. I am of Indian origin, British Citizen born in UK so our families understand certain traditions/culture.I am 29 he is 21. I must point I look very young for my age.He has no Turkish passport- so will need to applyMilitary service starts Nov 2013 – but I read if he lives in London he can be exempt and serve only 21days.Any type of advice would help. I feel very lost and do not know where to turn.