Hi to everyone. Im just new here. Im so confused please help me if you can. I married my Turkish wife just 2 months ago. I am a New Zealander. Im 36 she is almost 24. We met while i was in Turkey on a business trip. I was working in the Middle East but now im back home. I flew to istanbul 3 times to see my girl and we talked every day on skype. We got engaged in Turkey on one of my trips and she had just 6 months to go of university. I met the parents and got their blessing and even was allwoed to bring her to N.
Z for two months before we married. We married in Sept in Istanbul and now i am back home and she is in Antalya finishing her exams in 2mths. (she failed a couple so had to go back)While we were dating and seeing each other she had some really aggressive moods/behaviours over the smallest most pathetic things. Things that were so small that i couldn't even pick exactly what she was angry about. She can go from being extremely loving,caring,genuine etc to just vile in a matter of minutes.
You will ask why we married. Well i put most of this down to misunderstandings which it was often, cultural, and boundary testing since we were new to being together and also her age.
Now we are married we talk twice a day for hours but every 10days or so she just goes crazy over the smallest thing. I send her money but its always an issue whenever we talk about money and she makes me feel so bad because she always says i make an issue out of it. She gets incredibly jealous over the smallest things like when i go to the gym or even at work with work colleagues. She hates my best friends wife whom she met here in NZ and has gone absolutly vile after i said i was going to her birthday party. She said she cant understand how i could possibly go to her party when i know she doesnt like her. She has said many times now she wants a divorce and can never be with a man like me and can never come to N.
Z to live and i call her bluff and say "ok if thats what you feel". She wont talk to me for 5 days then come back to me saying she misses me like anything and loves me so much. In the meantime she has deleted me off facebook. Changed her name back to maiden name on facebook and takes her picture of us off?
Even on our honeymoon she went crazy and actually left our honeymoon for a day and night because i swam with some other girls and guys that were on our yacht we were sharing. She doesnt swim but said i could swim. There were three single girls and some couple guys and we all swam together but she said a Turkish man would never ever swim with other girls while his wife is not there? Ive told her how hurtful that is when she does that and please not to do that but talk to me instead like adults. So when we have the next argument (which seems to be over nothing) she immediately goes to facebook and deletes her account or changes her name again.
Its got to the point now im about to buy air tickets to go and pick her up and bring her back to NZ. Plus getting her visa. Weve discussed having children. One week she says she cant wait to have children with me and the next week she says she wants a divorce? Are these just cultural things, or misunderstandings, or what?????? Anyone with similar experience with Turkish woman. A N.
Z woman would never ever behave like this. Not even close. Not even a 23yr old one.
Thanks so much in advance for your help.