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MutluKadin

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MutluKadin last won the day on April 10 2012

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About MutluKadin

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  1. I was lucky, too, as my husband's family has been wonderful. (We were married last summer.) He is the oldest and now his brother is getting married this summer! (Not arranged, but families introduced the couple and it "took," so to speak)It's difficult to say why they are being this way, but if your fiance (congrats, by the way!) is strong, he may be able to get them to come around. I wonder how far he pushed the issue with them.I'd just try to stay calm and let him worry about it. Too people getting upset does no good. How's your family taking it, BTW? And where do you plan to live?Hang in there.
  2. I don't know about the UK, but here is the States, you can get higher end copying/printing services done at those office supply places.Here's one link about what I mean:http://print.staples.com/gallery.aspx?pg=39&preid=57&xnav=TsrHeading_01Maybe you have these types of services in the UK???Good luck!
  3. Same in the States, but if you want to have a say in how it's cut and the neighbors don't mind, I'd offer to trim it for them.
  4. So sorry to hear all of this!There's only really two possibilities- either he does intend to make your life Hell if you leave, or it's all a desperate attempt to keep you in his life. No way to tell but to give it a try... However, just the fact that you do question it may be enough to consider his threats seriously.No matter what you decide, I'd document everything, just in case.Best of luck.
  5. And sometimes, women will pull their hand away from another woman because they want to be viewed as an equal- NOT the older woman, lol!!!My husband's family and I are very close, but I still kiss his hand to my forehead and then we hug and kiss. It's more of a kind gesture than some "you will bow down and respect me" thing.Also, people might say "Hos geldin(inz)." Means "welcome." You then should say "Hos bulduk" wich is kind of like "We feel welcomed."And when you come into the home, you should say Selam Alaykum" and they will say "Alaykum Selam" More than hello, it means that you are greeting someone with the peace of Allah. I don't know how many finer details about meeting you want or why you need to know, but if you are asked to sit down, it's more polite for a woman to not cross her legs and to not show the bottoms of the feet. Just knees together, feet on floor. If that means people could look up your skirt, then your skirt is too short, lol! This is especially true of very traditional homes where women keep hijab.Hope this helps!
  6. Sounds cool! We didn't have dancing at our wedding (ours was more religious) but we did go to anothers over the summer and I picked up a few. I liked the three legged one! I don't know the eagle one, but I'll check it out. I also like the deli horon. Looks like a good workout!
  7. I'd learn how to do some of the traditional folk dances- It's more than likely they'll do one of those circle line dances and you don't want to feel on the spot or left out!Regarding the kinah, if you don't want your nails to get stained, be sure to NOT clench the green stuff with your nails (esp if they are unpolished). Then again, you might like that as a memory. You'll have half rust colored half moons on your nails for MONTHS! If you really don't, I'd slather on some extra thick hand lotion on before so it won't soak in as much.
  8. Hobbit-I totally hear you about people's lack of wanting to truly educate themselves. Instead, people defer to the mass media for the "news" and seem oblivious to the biases. However, is it unique to the US, or aren't the masses in the UK just as guilty?I tend to think that the best antidote to subjectivity is a good education...
  9. To be fair, I didn't watch the full series. I knew that they were all from the same town, but not that they were related.I didn't know, either, about the Arabic prayers at the FB game. That's cool.I guess the best thing to keep in mind is that it gets people talking. But I still think it's a sad thing that LOWES caved under the pressure: http://www.mediaite.com/tv/lowes-boycott-of-tlc-muslim-reality-show-leaves-jon-stewart-flabbergasted/ Reality shows are a guilty pleasure of mine from time to time- so are the shows where people take each other to court!
  10. I echo what others have said for the following:1. You met as students in the US, NOT in some resort or off the internet.2. All he says sounds legitimate.3. You say you trust him- only reading those sites put the seed of doubt in your mind.I was in a similar situation with my husband when we were dating. Not a LDR, but still, all his actions seemed too good to be true, so I was afraid that he was a rat. But we just had our first wedding anniversary, are expecting our first child together in a matter of weeks and he's proven to be the most wonderful, supportive, dedicated husband with the most sincere family you could ever imagine.If you and your guy are good for each other, you'll work something out! Just keep your heart and eyes open and take it day by day.
  11. I live in the States and this show spurred quite a controversey. So much that LOWES, the home improvement center pulled its advertising due to anti-Muslim protests. I think it sensationalises Muslim life and doesn't do much to cast the faith in a true light. Then again, normal, boring families who just happen to practice Islam isn't going to bring in the ratings, now, will it? Also, all the Muslims are Arabic. American, maybe, but I was hoping the show would depict African Americans, White, Asian... So in a way, the program just perpetuates stereotypes. It's not really educational; just another trash reality show in the theme of Jersey Shore or Real Housewives...
  12. Yeah, I was totally surprised by that dummy cake. The one that was cut was okay. I couldn't be too preoccupied about that aspect. I arrived in Turkey the end of June and got married one week later. I had to pick my dress (my MIL's BF has a dress shop, so I was lucky!), set the menu, have a kinah night... The cake was not a huge concern. I was more into the wedding invitations. We Skyped and found one I just loved! Cream and silver with irredescent raised letterhead. We sent out almost 300, so I really wanted them to be perfect! I'll see if I can find a link to the website!Cakes in the states are more buttercream and ganache, btw. And can I just ask what the fascination is with red velvet over here? Do you guys have that obsession? I can see that flying in Turkey, but I am SO OVER IT here in the States!
  13. We had our ceremony at a formal venue, but what they did was have a dummy cake for us to "cut" and the sheet cake was already laid out on plates. So, it's not like the edible works of art I've seen at non-Turkish weddings. Not what I was used to, but from what I understood, the cake is not that much of a focus as to what we are accustomed. I was also shocked that we had to pay the help extra money to get the knife!
  14. Very thoughtful post. My husband and I just were talking politics last night and about the very same subject. It's because I shared an article with him that was in the NYT Style Magazine (I think that was the mag; I'll go home and check it out tonight and get back to you). It was about the Istanbul modern art scene and the current regime. The APK was mentioned, so I asked my husband about it and we chatted for the rest of dinner about it. I think I'm similar to you, as that I, too, was born Catholic, fell away and then rediscoverd my faith in Islam and took shahada in Turkey this summer when I made our imam nikkah. His family is deeply spiritual (I prefer that to religious) and his family covers. I live near Philly and decided to cover, too. I am learning more and more about way of Islam and I thought that covering here is a good way to live. I enjoy it very much because I find it really opens people up to conversations I never would have had if I had returned from Turkey without wearning the scarf. Anyway, my husband thinks that the present administration has, in general, been good for Turkey. The economy is better, there's improved healthcare and more rights for women. He still wishes that there wasn't so much discrimination against hijab, but it's improved a lot. He thinks that the media is responsible for a lot of people's opinions. He said that on one side, some people don't like the VP because they fear his openness to Islam will turn Turkey into Iran. Others say that they don't like him because the fear he will sell out Turkey to the US. Then he starts to go into the issue about the PKK and you can't stop him, lol! I'm not a person who gets too involved in politics, but I do like learning things by our discussions we have. And I do realize that his opinion is just that. In the mean time, I say to him that we should get more involved politically on a local level here in the States. Our ICC needs to reach out more to the mainstream population (his mother owns and runs a prayer house in Turkey, so maybe she could help/inspire me to get more involved here when she comes here when her first grandchild is born in three months!) and I'd love to do more as a public educator, but I have to be careful. So, that's a little bit of my views...
  15. Very true, Reyhan. The US is still so new as a country and has been going through SO many changes in the past two centuries that it's difficult to say what is "American." I think a lot of Americans have a cultural identity crisis. That's why I feel so lucky to have married into such a strong ethnic heritage and that my children (my second one is due in three months!) will have that benefit of knowing a strong culture.
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