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chica

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  1. Merhaba everyone I am new to the forums. I am dating a man from Adana and we have been dating a little over a month. He seems very sweet, but he is also very hard-working....which makes talking to him kind of hard, at times (because he is always at work!). Sometimes we have communication problems because he speaks English fairly well, but oftentimes he comes across something that he doesn't know how to say. Unfortunately, I do not know Turkish. I have been trying to learn it but it is a lot more difficult because it is nothing like the languages I already know! (Spanish and English). Anyway, I was wondering about cultural differences. This man has been a real gentleman. He always pays, he always drives, etc. But I feel bad for him paying; when I offer to pay he tells me, "I would feel so bad if you paid!". Also, my birthday passed, and he gave me some pretty elaborate gifts considering the short amount of time we were dating. He gave me a very elaborate Turkish shawl, an evil eye, and a shirt. I'm not used to someone spending that much money on me, and it makes me feel kind of guilty! But I do not want to offend him or make him think that his generosity is not appreciated. However, although I think this guy has good intentions, I worry that he is trying to "own" me by buying me so many things. However, he said that Turkish men are taught to impress a woman like this and that Turkish women expect this from them (I don't know if this is true!! He seems pretty Westernized in some aspects. I was really worried about coming across as an easy, American girl, so I tried to not show a lot of skin in public, but he has traveled a lot outside of Turkey so I think that it doesn't really bother him. He is Muslim, but non-practicing. Anyway, what can I expect in a relationship with a Turkish man? My guy seems very sweet and although he says that all Turkish men are jealous, I have never seen him get jealous or controlling. What do Turkish men want out of a relationship with an American girl? I am very independent and I worry if that is a problem. I just want to understand that cultural differences I can expect so that I can understand them and work through them. Also, he plans on staying in the US to work. He is in the process of getting his PhD.
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