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Everything posted by chalapip

  1. I wanted to revisit this post as for the 1st time since i fell in love here i feel hope again and this emotion inspires me... Hope for Turkey & hope for the future generations in Turkey that they can read anything, write anything & share anything without fear. When i originally thought about the books i may or may not have read while being in the UK i guess i didnt realise how reading/writing really means personal freedom...just the fact i could dream i would be a writer or an Artist or act in films about anything or anyone...the open possibility of my future i took for granted as a given. Now i have a small son i wonder while being here in Turkey can he feel the freedom i felt /have the same opportunites or express himself the way i could in writen /spoken or artistic format. As parents we can do our best to share/teach/inform/warn but if the system is at odds with your thinking this is a very confusing existence. I love Turkey & i wish its creative minds a long open road to success :-)
  2. so bloody true..i blame my English teacher she was always messin´ with my mind & then i didnt even mention the RE lessons i took at GCSE & A level our lessons were total holocaust & 2nd world war overload..in my opinion.. i mean many of us were in tears lesson on lesson...ok need to know info & all but was really intense and mind blowing for an already half depressed group of teens ... oh and aids ads my god they also totally blew a fair bit of us away..does anyone else remember the tomb stone?!...i mean i cant have been the only one who thought jesus whats the point!! thank god for Love & hope hey! i also read to much Patrick Süskind which really didnt help my moods at times!!
  3. a book that totally turned my teenage angst into an even deeper sadness for the world was Z for Zachariah It actually deepened my already dark thoughts and somehow didnt help me see much light at the time....also had some personal life experiences that made it darker but maybe its my character to see the bad in things...(interestingly saw there will be a film adaption of this book!!). Ive always been told i see the bad side and think too dark but i see my self as a realist...nothing inspired me to come to Turkey as such..i wanted to go to Egypt but my friends encourage me to try Turkey 'it was cheaper ´they said...then i fell in love in 24 hrs of being here (with a man) but seeing it as real love (see im a realist) almost in days...call it gut instinct too for luck...i said bugger it i can live here..ok so took me a yr to leave job & get job here & move over FT but it was the ´bugger it ,do it we could all die tomorrow ´attitude i had at that time & at many times in my life & sometimes thats been the best way to go though life for myself anyway... and that as it says on topsy & tim on my sons fav prog. was that! :-)
  4. id love to be a fly on the wall where sex ed is concerned in households....or even schools or medical arenas, i bet the use of the morning after pill or overuse of it even in married life is an issue...im not a medical practioner but i am very interested in whats available to young women married or otherwise in Turkey. I also told my partner back in the days to get tested for whatever as i had just had a checkup at the end of a relationship to set my own mind at rest. We also had tests i recal at a local hospital in order to get married...all of which i thought a good idea (but i think was to find out that we were not related?! ) anyway was told HIV test was optional at that time but did anyway. Anyway i dont have a girl of my own but if in the villages even talking about periods or pads is an issue at times how the hell do these women cope with more intense subjects with male counterparts. Access to help,advice, support or treatment or med info was sooo easy in the UK...i havent ever been to a uni here myself but what do they offer students in term of what i mentioned..anyone know? am curious ...
  5. who needs new when u can find nearly new /2nd hand :-))) its how i feed my wardrobe on a budget....oh how i miss the uk charity shops soooo badly!! ebay also priceless :-)
  6. ´confused & struggling´ now u said ..what would it be like further down the line...sounds like somethings not right to me...if not right now i doubt it ever will be. Anything that needs over justifying by yourself isnt worth fighting for in my opinion. U may feel love for him but as someone mentioned above actions/honesty priceless in this situation. Why would someone want such complexities in their life? even just being in love with someone outside your own country is complex enough let alone dealing with someone with such a complex past. good luck :-)
  7. hes not only funny hes handsome!! nice combo..hilarious. thanks for link Fil.
  8. hi again, i have only Taught in the sticks in Turkey, never a big city although i used to in London where i am from, i didnt meet many ambitious students who were goal orientated, maybe only 3 that i clearly remember. I also taught adults ,young adults and children and the adults had busy lives and were often sent by employers so were cramming in lessons and often had to put work/family before learning/lessons so attendance was random, the younger students were dead tired from being sent to dershane constantly to pass exams and many of the younger children were out of their depth as noone at home cared about homework set or their progress in real terms, just kept asking when will they start to speak English... I wonder what it must be like in big cities here..cant be worse than London regarding class management but i wouldnt fancy doing that again any time soon! I hope you get many a motivated student ;-) let us know how u go..am curious :-)
  9. oh no leos...the most trouble and intense moments i have had in he past and actually am still having is with this sign!!! i didnt have time to look at link above but i am a Gemini and a rather typical one at that....
  10. wow thats a good wage if after tax...in the sticks u get bugger all i think. I would say classroom management isnt always the main issue it maybe the students poor home study skills or the unrealistic parental expectations or for example the students lack of lateral thinking ....if you dont speak any Turkish i think this is more ideal as your brain will just work in one language and thats what you will teach! I think some Turkish students who have had Turkish English teachers will have a shock when they hear accent changes and have to speak just in the one language in class... If they have been used to having an English English teacher already this may not be the case. I dont know anyone who comes from or lives in Bursa but i hear its very nice as cities go. Wish you luck and hope the management are good and you find suitable accommodation. ;-)) (maybe the rent is high in Bursa this is why the wages are higher than i am used to seeing/hearing about)
  11. Sunny put me on the list for being there is spirit...i so need a trip over there again to test if i have any brain cells left after having my son...it seems not..or so im reminded on a daily basis!! anyway by 8.30 i cant even spell my own name...presuming u drink while playing id be alseep under the table by 9!! :-))
  12. i so wish i had time to reread this topic as been a while :-))) but my son has worn me out as ever hence not posting much......well we r still going strong me & my husband and he is still as hard working as ever and i can say i was lucky :-) dont know your set up but wish u well Danielleat. Emreoz where is that comment you would add ......just curious :-))))
  13. hello back, great reply again thank you...really settles my nerves. BUT now i have been given two other offers in one week and now i am totally confused! I think i have to go with the creche options in the end as i cannot afford to pay for childcare if i take anything else..... The main issue i think is that parents dont pay much here in our area for daycare so wages are low..but in this case there would be a dual purpose to work. I do want to say though however and i know we had a thread on this in past years that Turkish children often (to me anyhow) seem to be the sit tight when told and behave sort of children and often get praised for being quiet and calm. My son is none of the above and my new worry is that my very active child will reflect in some way on my parenting/teaching skills at work....i kind of feel i will be judged in more ways that one but i suppose this fear is normal.. .what i think i am trying to say is i praise my son for maybe different things and dont worry or panick at small things so he is a fairly free spirit. I am often told at the park for example that i seemed to have overlooked a particular danger or that my son is hyperactive..to which i generally try to say nothing (sure you can guess what i would like to say!)... .anyway my son is calling and i have to go but i will surely be back!....the noticable differences between turkish and English parental styles would be a good area to discuss!!
  14. Hi Fil as ever your replies always get my mind going in a good way as to what to think, look for and consider..thanks for that. I also think the social factor is the main reason i would even consider to send him PT from 2 yrs old...also that i want to work maybe in the same place he attends... i didnt expect to breast feed this long so this has been one reason we have been tied to each other in some ways longer than i would have liked...he doesnt venture far from me for this reason. I am very curious and almost ready to try to experient with distance apart and wonder will he love or loath it! i promise myself i wont be offended if he loves it!! I am also unclear what to expect if teaching (playing in English) with under 6's and am forever fearful of pressing parents who generally expect way too much of teacher and child where learning progress is concerned...(but also often not bothering to cover any continued study at home where lingo is concerned).... anyway much to consider...oh to be a fly on the wall eh at this point! GDB 1000tl is a big sum for us nowhere near realistic sadly for our budget. One would hope at that price a child would indeed enjoy themselves :-)) i think its difficult to know ones worth if infact the creche will be taking care of your child at the same time you work there. Indeed if i dont end up working in one i wonder will i trust people as easily with my child while not being on the inside as such. My husband says there is no reason to send a child to creche if the mother isnt working....i dont have an argument for that i just tell him when we are out its clear my son wants to speak to anyone he sees i see that as a clear sign me and him can now have private time apart!!! cant justify paying for this though unless working..so we will see!!....
  15. ok so its time to start thinking about what does a child need from a creche and also what would a mum expect to get out of sending a child to creche either PT or FT. i think in my case i am lucky as i dont need to send my child but i may want to eventually for his own social /personal development. Just wondered - what makes a good creche? for us location matters and of course price (which i imagine varies greatly for what reasons i dont know didnt think yet.....) having not taught under 5's as such its a new world to me.... anything anyone has to share on this subject i would be interested to read... Anyone any experience of sending their dual citizen babe to an All turk creche? Also wondering what people think about teaching in one (English) ? what to expect...i have always said no but i see advantages in doing so now my son is nearing creche going age (almost )himself ;-) TIA
  16. when we married we didnt have to pay for these tests which didnt take very long. I dont recal the organisation around it but we had done at a health house kinda section of the main hospital. I recal we showed ID and the like but i def. know we didnt pay. things maybe changed since...hope for your sakes its free somehow! good luck. I also recal being asked did we want HIV tests as well included in other tests. No idea whats standard and whats not here now or even then!
  17. I have to add that for a country that encourages bigger families and a social life that surrounds family i still cannot work out why so many buisinesses do not take into account pleasing mums and fathers by having child friendly premises and consider safety factors as well as entertainment for all. If i had the funds i would open somewhere child friendly and take a leaf out of some euro countries who have encorporated clean safe ammenities along side simple cheap food services....the bigger cities have much better choice as do some towns but in smaller areas its as if famlies are forgotten and parks are left to ruin..such a shame...maybe this is more a political comment on local authorites than a slag off of local buisiness onwers...either way i repeat if i had money to invest i know what id consider in a second :-))
  18. ok, want to reply but whatever babe has i now have and not much thinking going on with this flu lark... I have to say agree re food places and noticed the same the ones that cook in bulk ,simple layout, provide for workers or those on budget and stay open all hrs do well it seems so far so that they open branches..is that the word or do i mean premises else where...id rather eat there than cook anyday! i hate cooking...as for other things local to me its hard to tell as someone stated above as so many are family run or supported by other family members. I am also curious to know dual citizens like myself in what ways would they be frowned upon for thinking about starting something locally and what are the key reasons for others not embracing their ideas?...i think its clear Turks and Brits for example run the show very differently but is this to do with standards in each country differing or is it really all down to personal management and planning skills of each individual. I do think its true about not making profit in 1st yr or so as is seems ...this would be enough to put most off i would think! anyway brain not working need to sleep ...cannot imagine therefore how an ill business owner would cope if they were laid up in bed!who would run the show....back to trust and relying on others again which is a scary venture in wildwest Turkey is it not??...to be continued..
  19. I am interested to know as you see it either locally or nationally depending on your location or travels what little businesses are doing well and which are not? I am aware as mybe customers we may not know the actual financial current situation of a buisiness but just wondered as you see it as a consumer whats what where you are or where you go/shop. A business banker may have a different view on such little buisinesses in comings or outgoings but then i cant track them down and ask can i! anyway interested to see what people have to share on this subject maybe you are a little buisiness owner or work for one or maybe you started one up and it failed for whatever reason... look forward to reading replies :-) happy new yr new n' old been ages since i came on here but motherhood saw to my spare time..litterally binned it it seems!! excuse any spelling mistakes i have had 4 hrs sleep son got a cold //again!! and i am not at peace with my keyboard or brain today ;-))
  20. hi, totally depends on where you will be.general rule of thumb for us though is drinks can cost a fair bit if bought with a mealalcohol is pricey most of the time and the cheapest beer in our area (big one) is 3 lira a bottle...cheapest wine about 5 lira i think....but dire.i think most vendors on the street will be ok.i mean look at how many use them and thats a fair indicator that they are worth considering!bottles of wine with meals break the bank for us so consider that and always ASK..the one most annoying thing is turkey is lack of price lists anywhere.....they are catching on but some think they can real off info themselves but most people prefer to see it written in black and white...also some charge you for water on your table..if you dont drink make sure they dont include it....if you are that fussy like me,being skint makes you that way!only thing i found made me a wee bit ill when i first came here was melon..i think its because they are often watered with non drinking water and seeing as they are what 90 something % water its stands to reason it may affect you...well that was my theory anyway..or the hotel pool!!??enjoy your holiday
  21. sweet for a sweetie!i bet your melon was a winner
  22. people say you spend 1/3 of your life sleepingi think if husband had his way that would be 1/3 of OUR life at market. THANK GOD we now grow our own -no tapping required!
  23. hi guys thanks for ideas /advicesunny can i ask when you made an appointment for the one day service did they give you the time or was there an option of asking for a day or date? meaning in the time you called for the appointment was the date near to the time you called and asked?i have a biometric passport but my photo is black and white and this has always worried me as i have been told that was not meant to happen!? so i guess it makes sense to change surname and renew in one go if possible.good to know i dont need a translation just the book re. bank accounts...its a shame i cant do online! dont fancy finding time to go to the bank to change details but i can only guess in person in the only way. i also need a new debit card in september so i guess that will be annoying as i need to ask for a new one in October right after i have just been sent one in september..... As far as i know i didnt reach the 10 yr mark on my pension....where do i look into paying into a teachers pension? can i do that? ive never understood my options in this matter.i had paid into the turkish scheme when i worked here but i didnt when i stopped and wont be able to add to it til im legal to work now as i doubt i will find another college /company who will do a work permit in my area as before. As far as i know my husbands pension will be good so i guess i may well end up relying on him for many a thing.thanks for info.....not being of retirement age one doesnt think of these things but i guess the most confusing part is im in a work limbo now so the idea of paying into a pension scheme seems hardly affordable.....but possibly needs considering i had some passport pics done in Turkey but when i was in the UK last time the postoffice person happen to see them and told me they were not standard for UK passport....i did some on the spot there and they are terrible! wonder what the difference was as i dont recal at the time noticing a size difference....deffo expression difference mind you on the later ones! must have been raining in the UK that day!
  24. hi guys, sorry im jacking this thread....when one wants to update a UK passport to ones married name but in the one day urgent service in london in person for example do they need to see a translation of the burgandy Turkish wedding book or does it suffice as suggested above as they are supposedly international wedding books (with some translated sections).....just wondered if anyone had updated their passports recently with this same day service and had to provide anything other than the book and i presume birth certificate and old passport. Didnt get a direct reply on phone as was in a queue and cant afford to wait and do international calls...suppose could email someone (im in Turkey).i also need to renew it (get a new 10 yr passport ) but im worried i cant do both those things in the one day service plus to be honest i want to book the flight ticket in advance for a 9 day trip to UK but am worried i cant do all of that in one day there or that i wont be prepared....(not going for a while yet)....i think easy jet name changes are costly and the ticket difference in price will be silly im sure by october (the dates i intend to go)....so whats one to do?....go to the london passport office the 1st chance i have once in UK (supposed to call them 2 weeks in advance not before to get an appointment!) all sounds so risky in such a small space of time......and a legistical nightmaire....i dont have my marriage officially registered anywhere in UK as far as i know...so should this name change & /or just a new 10 yr passport (renewal) be simple?bloomin hope so......in fact i dont need the passport doing til next yr but im told they can put 9 months onto the new one if you renew in advance of the expiry date......i rarely go to the UK so it makes sense to do before April when my turkish residency book expires (also need a new one as address not updated and no space left to add more info) and hub demands i get married name on it to stop confusing people and create gossip each time we use it! after this process my passport and residency will at least tally....any thought on this subject anyone or indeed any advice as to what i have to do as opposed to what i can choose to do(sending anything off to dussledorf..(cant even spell) does not sit well with me.....not trusting outbound postal service much)
  25. hi, they do check your passport and within the 3 yrs wait here the ammount of days are added up and relevant. cant quote how many needed..maybe someone else can or find the link in the forum.id rather stay here (turkey) 1 yr without leaving (already have!) and get citizenship than wait 3 yrs!i too was asked about name change at the time of marriage when we wed here in turkey.good luck finding out information your end....
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