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Wanderlust last won the day on August 25 2015

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  1. It depends on your lifestyle and ideology a bit too. Some cities are very religious and the culture-shock is heavy and I wouldn't recommend them unless you are Muslim. I'm assuming most people on this website are non-Muslims and all those choices you presented are good. All those brands you named are in all big cities so I wouldn't worry about having access. Antalya and Izmir are the only choices, if you want more of the beach-life if you go more inside the country it's very scenic but a lot of people can get bored...like in Ankara...which is where I live, which is cheaper to live in, has all the shopping you could dream of, all government buildings are here, good schools...but there's no like strong "outdoorsy" thing to do besides seem some old castles and hiking. Most people who move to Ankara do so for a particular reason, not because it's an option. Antalya I'd recommend more since it's easier to adapt to, you get lovely beaches and lots of foreigners. And others who actually live in Antalya can say more on that. Bursa would be nice, cheaper than Antalya to live in. It's a historic city so lots of old stuff to see there and some stuff to do. Less boring than other cities, you can get a good city feel without the intense population of Istanbul. This city is a bit more conservative but it should be very friendly moreso than other places. That's all the info I have about that place, I have yet to go there. It's a tough decision, really all the cities here are so unique and fascinating. If I could I'd move to each one for a year just to try all the flavors of Turkey.
  2. Akhi, Another issue you have is that a lot of the girls families might not accept you. Not because you are black but because you are a foreigner. Trust me Turks are some of the least racist towards Black people, but they have a yabanci korkusu *fear of foreigners* which is why as a foreigner it can be hard because Turks **I'm speaking outside tourist areas** are just not used to seeing foreigners around especially from other countries. Akhi yaa why are you talking about girls outside a mosque, what good girl would talk to a brother outside a mosque like that? Ya Allah if you want to find a good wife why don't you try to get to know people here first, make good brother friends get to know the Imam in your area. Alhamdoulilah Turkish women aren't so immoral to throw their lives and bodies away so easily (well at least most of them) and if you are looking for a hijabi girl you need to go about this from an Islamic way. Finding a wife takes time here, don't be so fast to say there's so much racism, I guarantee I get more of it because I'm Russian and a lot of men assume Russians are only prostitutes where I am. Your solution is easy, start connecting with more people if you are looking to find a wife. If you don't like where you are and you think it's a bit racist, there are places where you would have an easier time why not move?
  3. To further on Ken's point. Each city almost has a distinct culture, and Izmir is very anti-religious which is why I avoid those places (being a staunch Muslim myself). The further East you go, the more conservative it is. It's also less open-minded as well which is unfortunate. Then again all political parties here aren't open-minded...open-mindedness is a rarity here. Ankara is a weird exception since it's a lot of non-religious vs. religious here and it's very tense...and some of it is borderline stupid I mean I see girls wear miniskirts in a snowstorm just to prove their ideology. Then they act like they aren't cold which is even funnier. Istanbul is a weird exception, add basiktas region as non-religious too Ken since the more high powered, richness meant less religion as well. Which is funny because in America it seems the poor and wealthy are most religious, here it's opposite. To be honest abi you have some issues that I'm really upset about. What's your deal with self-conscious women, some of the most confident looking are the most insecure. Knowing a womans true confidence shows overtime and frankly isn't your business anyway since confidence is not only situational but fluctuating. In a sense American women have a bit more confidence since they aren't fussing over clothing and looks, they cake on way more makeup and everyone wears highheels due to their insecurity of their height. So wrong. Just because you dress well doesn't speak of your inner confidence, it's just a mask. And like I said if you are so judgemental I wonder what sort of woman is even confident around you at all? I'm sad to see you didn't inherit the charm/manners that a real Turkish man has over women because you remind me of a stereotypical douchebag being so critical of women. Usually the people who are overly critical of others are the ones with the most inner problems. Izmir will be fine for you since as Ken pointed out it's more European-like where Turks drink more and smoke, which would not be very common place in areas like Diyarbakir where I don't even think you'd survive well due to the religiousness of it. My advice is stay on the coastline and I wouldn't think to move inward as you would have a harder time fitting in, sure you can find people who drink and do those things in Ankara but few admit they do, even the few people I know who go to clubs hide that fact as much as possible. That's because this is Ankara. And as Ken and I said each city has it's own culture. Izmir or Antalya is easiest for you for sure. Even if Turkish women are the type to drink/smoke in Izmir you still need a house/car/future for them to be interested, maybe some will date you but long-term won't happen unless you make some sort of solid commitment here. My advice is the same earn some sort of degree in Turkey since they love American degrees so much here, and that will allow you more flexibility. Think heavy on it because if it doesn't work out here restarting your life in America will be insanely difficult.
  4. Hey bro, I'm an American living in Turkey (Ankara). First off, Turkey is in a political/religious war internally so this will affect your life whether you care about politics or not, Turkey technically doesn't even have a government now as they have to rebuild one but that's another story... "Attractive Turkish Girls Interest" First off, no real Muslim girl will even think to marry you because you drink. So you automatically cut your chances in half, you aren't even marriageable to religious women unless you were a Muslim (a practicing one). So your choice would be a non-religious woman...and this is the general criteria for them: -You need to have a degree -A job in Turkey -An apartment/house or the money to have it -Steady finances and potential to pay for a nice wedding -A car -Long-term security out of the 6, you need a solid 5. A really nice humble girl will settle with you having only 4 of those. Fact is, your competition is very high... I mean why you when there are so many men here who have a life ready for them to settle into!? Also these men grow with the same sort of people so the women know who they are...while you are just mysterious, do you do drugs, do you cheat...they wouldn't know would they... Not to be harsh because I know it sounds that way but this is the solid fact. A religious practicing Muslim has even more requirements than that. Look bro, I still go through hell here as an American and everyone comes to me with misjudgements just because of where I was born. No you can't get away with a good personality, go stand in line with the other million or two with good personalities who are single. Turks as you should know or will learn, care a lot about how they appear to people, so having nice things is kind of a big thing to pretty much everyone here. To be frank you just don't have a lot to sell, your looking at this from an American perspective and not as a Turk would. Also what Turkish womans family would marry their daughter to a guy who basically came from America, and hasn't established himself here? It gives an uncertain future and nobody raises their children to throw them into that life. Your chance is a good 5% Now to increase those chances if you are serious to move here, you would need to: -Pick up some sort of degree to have some sort of career that can give you a nice future here. -Save up a lot of money so that you can have a car (super expensive) and establish yourself here -Talk to your family who lives here and see if they are willing to support you in someway -Don't leave for Turkey with nothing in your hands, figure out your life there then plan it for here. -Be fluent in Turkish before you come (it helps greatly) -Don't leave the city your family has, Turkey is reputation based and you are coming in as a stranger and you will need any sort of reputation to get anywhere here. If you do some of this and build your life there than come here, it'll be easier in everyway for whatever you want. Also know that most women marry 25+ so if you are younger, smaller chance to marry anyway if you were here. Most of my single friends are 29+. You really need to get the mentality of this place because basically all you wrote was 100% straight up American-mentality and you just won't be successful here if you don't get the differences. Connect with your family in Turkey more, I'm sure they'd love you to move back and they will be your biggest help if you do that. If you move too soon with no papers, no real reputation you aren't really trustworthy and you'll have a hard time in a lot of ways...it's not worth making your life so difficult because your life won't be spent talking to girls on a beach here. Turks are judgemental, it's a fact and it's not just them all of Asia is like that. You can't change how the system is here, you have to work with it because Turks won't ever change. So yes you will be judged negatively and a lot of Turks will think you are crazy to move to Turkey because most think the US is much better. You still have great hope to meet nice people here, but this isn't America, you had fun on vacations here but the actual innerworkings of Turkey are entirely different. Anyway that's my take on it.
  5. I'm an American who is married to a Turk (but I live in Turkey). I don't know your full background story, but I know so many Turks will do anything to get out of Turkey and move west. Infact when my husband came back from visiting the US with me a lot of his friends said he is insane to not just stay there, and some were surprised I wanted to live here. I don't know be careful, Turks usually won't even consider to be with a woman who has kids it's very opposite of their culture (unless they have kids themselves). I don't want to judge this guy because I don't know his circumstances, but if he does really care about you and he is "saving to move to the US for you and not because it's the US" he is the 1%. To answer some of your questions: His chances are like 5% of ever moving to the US on his own which is why he would look for a foreigner to make that transition possible, to be honest only high educated or people with money/connections ever get to go there on their own. What he would need to get to the US is a tourist visa, which he can apply for at the US embassy and do all the paperwork and go through an interview and hopefully they will grant it, depending on his status in Turkey. If he isn't rich, doesn't have a good job his chances aren't very good for that. If he has those things it's much better. They will grant him a visa, my guy has a 10 year visitor visa and when he visited they allowed him 6 months when he only stayed 1 month. That's your best case scenerio. If he overstays or stays illegally he will have no future with the US and will be banned. What you would need is your passport not close to expiring, and blank pages. You can buy a visa either online or at the airport on arrival it costs 30 US dollars and gives you a 90 day stay. After those 90 days you need to wait 180 days to return for another 90 days. To be honest it would be easier if you moved to Turkey than him move to the US because you will have very expensive and painful paperwork process for years and there's a high chance they can reject him for staying anyway. While in Turkey it's very simple for foreigners. Don't worry getting into Turkey is very easy, you just get your visa first then go to border office who just checks passport maybe ask a few questions then that's it you are in Turkey. I'm just worried about who this guy is and his intentions, while you know him best most Turks wouldn't be with an American due to their dislike of the country/culture/religion and those marriages are very rare...infact my husband and I had too many culture clashes and there's a bad reputation of Americans marrying Turks. I just want to make sure this guy is legit before any of you make any big moves. If he is legit I'm super happy for you, and I have your back but there's just a few little red flags from what I read that can't be ignored. If he really cares about you/loves you/wants a future with you here is some things he should be doing: -He should be talking about a wedding, and he would prefer you marry in Turkey because his family is there. Turks simply do not get married without their family it's unheard of. -He should be discussing which country is a better option, even a Turk who wants to move to the west loves his country and won't be "that easy" to move so far away. -He should be starting his visitor visa process anyway as a responsible Turk would do that it takes time. -He should be talking serious plans about work, future, home, children and culture differences regularly. -He should be supporting you, if you are giving him any money erase him from your life. My husband paid for my flights, living, and anything I needed before I moved to Turkey. Your guy shouldn't be asking anything from you at all. -You should be talking about religious differences since most Turks are Muslim which would mean you would be in an Islamic household even if he isn't practicing...very rare for a Turk to be completely irreligious. These are just some. If he hasn't mentioned any and all he talks is romance and flowery speech then start the heavy conversation because the nice romance has to end at reality...and if he really cares about you reality speech should be starting to manifest. Also I can background check him for you if you want. If he passes all the red flags you can live such a happy life together, but marriage to a Turk is difficult even for the happiest people. I'm here for any support or advice, there really aren't many American-Turk relationships.
  6. That's weird you said you haven't found dental hygenist, they've been in every clinic I've been to. My dentist is like a complete replica of my former American dentist. I really believe you haven't found the right one yet. If you were in Ankara I'm going to a really great dentist, and there are many here so easy to find... I don't know about prices though maybe the ones I go to are a bit expensive? Keep searching dental places, my advice is keep asking people and when you go to the dentist if you want that type of cleaning tell them you have a "peri problem" and they will know exactly that it's not just a regular cleaning but more than that. If your Turkish isn't that good there is a fat chance the doctor will speak English since they have to learn another language for their PhD and most choose English. My advice is find a good clinic, ask people around. After that go for a check-up, and from their you should be able to communicate better about what you are wanting. Don't give up the search though, I'm really surprised you found a hard time with this particularly. I assure you that dentists here are completely the same around the world haha, same system same everything. I don't know any in Istanbul to help you there though. Are you going to private clinics or public ones?
  7. Ok Dania. I talked to some people and it didn't look too good. They gave weird and suspicious looks to you being "Finnish" asking why anyone from there would be here. Your two options that I know of are these: 1. Go to the Security Department as soon as possible. Bring supporting documents as to why you want to stay in Turkey, like if you are in school or have a job. Be very open and clear and in this case honest about what happened and what's going on. If you go to them basically explaining your situations with supportive evidence there is a chance they can be merciful and give you some sort of extension. The chance is small though. If you do this option go wearing conservative clothes, if you were a Muslim this would be a lot easier...not trying to convert you but it's just fact of life with government here in Turkey that they are more sympathetic to Muslims. 2. Go home, follow and obey all rules. Probably your best chance is to just go back as soon as possible, I'm not sure if they will accept you back without any sort of punishment or fine. I don't have the knowledge on whether it will be easy to return or not. Could be, could not be. You would return home, and immediately grab an appointment at the embassy for Turkey on your arrival so that you won't have this problem again, make the appointment 3 months from now and if you re-enter easy then hopefully this can all be sorted. If you were engaged to a Turk your situation would be a little easier, but being all alone in this makes this not so simple. I'm just assuming you are alone, because if you were engaged you could fight this in court but that alone is another mess.
  8. The problem with Turkey and visas in general is they have hidden rules that you should follow but you don't know until it's too late. For example that appointment system is always booked and it's almost impossible to get within 10 days. They know that. So they expect you to talk to someone else within 10 days to fix your situation. They do have a point it is 2 days over, but this is a land of "who you know" and if you know the right people 12 days or 300 makes not much difference. Also one thing they didn't tell you is that you are now currently overstaying, so sure you might have to leave for 3 months but coming back in won't be easy. We need to fix your situation now if possible because you don't want to find out 3 months later that they banned you for awhile. If you were in Ankara I could help a lot more but Istanbul is another city. I'm going to ask my husband and I'll re-post back here if I have info or not, but I feel your pain. Like I said I overstayed and went through the same but I know the guy who runs the visa department so needless to say I got an appointment the next day for my RP despite the system.
  9. Let's see... 1. What percentage of Turks are in an arranged marriage? -From what I have observed very little, the number will be higher in Eastern Anatolia as it's more traditional in many ways, and arranged marriage is also higher in villages than in the cities. Turks are generally very keen to find their own partners first and then turn to arranged marriage as a "I'm getting too old and need to marry" option. 2. Is it difficult for you being a Non-Turk to marry a Turkish woman here? -Hell no. Women are more open to marry out of their culture than the men, and I even know Turkish women personally who are looking for a foreigner because they simply don't want to marry in their culture. Your chance are higher than a Turk because you are a foreigner. This is a positive here not a negative. 3. Approaching a family for marriage. -Your Turkish level is more important firstly because they will want complete open communication and it would show a level of commitment to their daughter being a Turk. I believe that if you get to this point of meeting their parents your chances are good. Having cultural similarities are important but most Turks just know their culture so you would have to show them those similarities. Your hardest part is really finding the right girl, as I said most girls try to look for their own husbands or have their family look for them. Your negative (and probably only one negative) of being a foreigner is that they don't know your reputation. As you should know reputation is important and you simply come from an unknown background which is a high risk for a woman. If you choose a city girl (not that religious type) arranged marriage won't be possible since a high percentage want to make that choice themselves. If you choose a conservative girl (religious type) you will need to find a way into their social circle to have a chance, and it would take time for that family to trust you. You wouldn't be able to make it fast, like meet a girl, then go to her parents within the month this is less likely to happen. Yet there's always exceptions, I'm speaking generally. Yes it is very possible, but you would need to know how to meet those type of women who also want an arranged marriage and due to these women being segregated from men it would be a challenge and your best chance is to find a woman to connect you to those women.
  10. I've been living in Ankara for what about 7 months now. I'm originally from America, and I'm one of those women married to a Turk. He works for the government, and I am a former medic, nurse assistant, firefighter who is going on a new career track. Anyway that's me, so what about Ankara? I'm not sure if any of you live here, or if anyone is looking to move here. I can tell you that it's a place not a lot of foreigners choose because it's really just a grey government city. No beaches, not as much fun things as Istanbul...so it's not really the top choice it seems since I stick out like a beacon here. I'm going to write pros/cons to living here, and if you have the time I'm interested in what they are for where you live so we can get a taste of what other cities are like. The Pros of Living in Ankara Embassy and all government buildings are close so paperwork is so simple to complete So many different shopping places, easy to find almost anything It's populated but the districts within Ankara give you a smaller town vibe More diverse restaurants than in smaller cities Easy to find English speakers Good central point for traveling throughout Turkey Lots of university options My cat likes Turkey more than America They are trying to green up the grey look of this place Everyone's always at parks, or outdoors which is cool Clothes are much better than in my country The Cons of Living in Ankara It's grey, and boring to look at Skyscrapers, everywhere (I hate tall buildings) People seem to not smile here, or look happy outwardly Roads are bad City Engineers have weird residential planning Doing things in Ankara takes time for the commute Statues of everything everywhere Kind of communist looking downtown area (at least to me) Weather is just insanely hot in summer, and just Siberian cold in winter Politics is always the conversation due to being here Snobby close-minded conservatives Confused secularists who don't know what secularism means Cars are expensive Houses and electronics are expensive Not fitting the standard Turk body size means very small selection in clothing/shoes (I'm really tall and I "guess" I have big feet since I wear size 41) Sometimes looking for ONE thing/item can take you all day going through various stores. That's all I got, your turn!
  11. You would have to understand that England was hell bent on destroying Turkey nearly 100 years ago so I am actually a bit happy of their attitude towards foreigners in Canakkale as it's a sort of pilgrimage for mourning and reflecting on the past and not really a place I'd recommend for foreigners particularly the British people. (Not saying this directed at you but at people in general) That being said naturally I feel bad that it was a bit hard of a city to move to, but it looks like you've found a better place now. Istanbul is such a hard city to live in, everytime I visit I just am in awe on how people can live in such a thriving metro. I give you respect for being brave enough to endure it...but then again anything over 1 million people is to large for me. I'm not sure if you have been to Ankara, but it's where I live and it's an interesting place to be. Then again I'm just trying to sucker as many foreigners to move here as possible so it doesn't feel like I am the only one hahaha. I hope your Turkish courses go well, I have such a hard time with the language after 6 months I can understand like 50% and speak like 10%. There's enormous pressure around me to speak it fluently and having a rebellious spirit makes me dislike the language... I also was kindly asked to leave my language course, they tried failing me twice despite passing my exams and homework. I guess I rub Turks the wrong way or they aren't friendly of an American Muslim. Either way I hope your excited for your new place, it's nice having your own home and after the bit of chaos it is to move to Turkey I'm so happy I have a retreat to run home to. Do you have some nice home slippers yet? You sound like such a busy girl! MashAllah to your successes so far
  12. My offer is to not tell them, if you give them that intention they will think you can easily stay illegally. It's also not their business your citizenship, it's the business of the government office. I think telling them can make more trouble, I mean what good would they do for you if you tell them? If you easily can get that 30 day tourist visa, I'd say you are a tourist. Go meet your fiance and you two will have to decide whether you will immediately start resident papers or whether you will have to go back to the Philippines and return to do the resident paper. There should be no hassle if you have a tourist visa, they aren't like my country (America) about immigrants, all they care about is that no violations are in order and that you have everything they need to allow for entry. I came to Turkey twice on a tourist visa and then did my resident papers (the second entry I misunderstood re-entry but luckily I knew people to get me out of that situation). Either way, if you intend to come to Turkey one time and stay, your resident papers will need to be started immediately due to the short time frame. That resident card is what makes your life easy. So if you tell the officers: high chance of suspicion, chance to not allow entry, no special good will come from telling them about your fiance since you don't have turkish papers (after your resident card and beyond if you re-enter Turkey then you say I have a fiance) If you don't tell them: nothing happens, they assume you are a tourist like millions who come to Turkey and you get to be with your fiance.
  13. Life here in Ankara,Turkey after 6ish months ebbs and flows. Some days I don't want to look outside, I miss normality and would rather sleep most of the day then even hear any chatter of Turkish. Those are the days I turn on the television to movie channels and without hesitation switch the language to English. In those times I despise the sight of Turkish tea, children constantly shouting "anne anne", and anything foreign to my previous senses becomes hostile and irritating. I become short-fused and narrow-sighted to the fact that I have forever left my country and all this newness surrounding me has to become familiar, and the faster that happens the easier it gets. A lot of times I resist logic and adaptation to just enjoy my house which I had de-Turkified and made very clearly American (a place where you take your shoes off INSIDE the house). Yet there are somedays I can brave the unfamiliar and enjoy the market-shopping trying to figure out the difference between cheeses and wishing mozzerella was possible to find. Going out despite my hatred for smoking I somehow build a tolerance and have a worldly acceptance to everyone. I see brilliant moments of just pure goodness in Turkish people here which are seldom found in America. The warmth of families here, the picturesque countryside, the simplicity of not living in stuffy capitalism. It's enjoyable. Just not everyday, I can't do everyday happy expat in Turkey. Being an American made me realize how strange Americans are compared to the rest of the world, which we naturally don't learn while in America I realize we are very isolated from manners, worldly culturalisms that are common to a lot of the world which we don't even possess. All-in-all after my short time here I have mixed feelings about it all. There are truly wondrous things here but knowing how xenophobic Turks are it's a wonder if I will ever be fully accepted in the future or whether I will live out my life forever a yabanci.
  14. Hey welcome to the forums. Things you need to talk to your fiance about: 1. Residency Like Ken said you can stay pretty easy for 90 days on a tourist visa, which you can buy online or at the airport when you arrive. You will need to talk to your fiance about getting a resident permit until you get married. After your official wedding residency is really easy. If you don't get a resident permit you will have to go back to the philippines for 180 days and then come back again for another 90 days. If you are moving to Turkey then a resident permit is your only option. 2. Wedding Hall Talk to your fiance about where you will get married. If your fiance is in the government or has a conservative family the wedding will be rather large, complicated and take time to plan. Ask him whether he found some good places to marry, or whether he is waiting for you to come to look at them. You probably won't be married fast, wedding plans take a lot of time here from what I learned. 3. Culture/Future Plans Talk with your fiance about what your future plans are in Turkey. Do you know any Turkish because it is something very important to learn and if you are like me, I find Turkish insanely difficult for some reason. Ask him about whether you will go to Turkish course, are you going to be a housewife, or will you go to work. If you have an idea of what your life can be like it will make life a lot easier. Also ask him if he knows any Philippinos there to make life easy and comfortable... I hope there are some but I have a feeling you will be extra special. What you need: 1. Bring every paper in your name. Any document that can be useful in Turkey I would bring, don't worry about getting anything translated. All important papers can be useful, including school documents, awards, etc. 2. Bring things from your culture. You will have an insanely hard time to find Philippino type food here in Turkey, so if you have sauces/spices that are special bring them. If you use special cooking tools I would bring those two, anything that makes your home a little piece of the Philippines will make you happier. Yes life will be exciting when you move to Turkey but after sometime you will miss the little things from your home country. I cannot tell you how important it is to bring some things from your country to Turkey, whether it's house decoration, foods, types of clothing...because I would just pay a lot of money to have maple syrup in my house right now. I made my home a little bit of American paradise so that when I want to escape the foreign-exotic life of Ankara I have an American home to run to. If you are living in Ankara I can help you further with details since this city is what I know best. Can't wait for you to be in Turkey! They need more people from around the world here!!! You already have an American friend who is married to a Turk here for help if you want!
  15. For future advice and for anyone reading this in the same situation I have solid advice that worked for me. 1. Aristocracy is your friend. KNOW the right people. I had married into an aristocratic family which has certain perks, I used up all my allowed days in Turkey and a phone call later I was allowed back in to Turkey (conditional that I get my papers sorted out). Getting my resident permit took 2 hours max in Ankara because I know people who know the guy who runs that building. I skipped through the investigation, background checks and just overall waiting around nonsense. I actually waited longer for the insurance guy than the process. 2. Don't rely on tourist visa for anything, get here and work on your resident papers. 3. Avoid bans and issues in Turkey because they can haunt you if you want a future here. 4. Call anyone you know from Turkey for help, if you don't know personally the person who can get you out of a mess, maybe your Turkish friend does. That's about it. Knowing the right people in this country can give you a really nice life and makes everything so much easier and painless. I'm not saying exactly go searching and use people for this reason, be open and maybe you will make friends here who end up saving your ass when times are hard.
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