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milkmilk

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  1. Meral, you are so right. I dont even think it is an option now. Or rather he isn't making it an option for me to even try to fight for it and TRY to be submissive. Bottom line is, maybe he really just din love me enough or i din give enough reasons for him to go against his family. oh well.. yabancigirl: i dont think he would have been able to tolerate it much either if she steps in too much so i wasnt very worried about that. after all he would take most of it rather than me i believe. if it had worked out. natanya: i hope for the best for you but i have accepted the fact it isnt any option for me anymore since i am not given a choice but to go. I think it will be better for me in the long run too instead of being with someone who just relents to his mum. I hope your bf loves you enough to put up this fight for you but it does seem to be a little impulsive to have moved you there this fast and then to drop the bomb. that to me isnt really nice.
  2. thanks everyone for the comments. I guess i was just hoping otherwise. Indeed i myself have thought about it too. Why would i be lesser of a family if we were planning to be serious? it really shouldnt be just a choice in that sense nor at least without putting up a good try. Instead it was merely over a span of 1-2 weeks this was then decided with few conversations with the family. Or so it seems to me. I was just hoping someone else would not echo what i have in my head but to give me some faith in trying to convince him otherwise. just a pity so much has been shared of the future and to remain steadfast and faithful and in the end i really wonder what is true out there. Regardless of the long conversations that has been discussed about the future, meaning of love etc etc.. thank u.
  3. I have gone through pretty much all of the posts here for an answer but nothing quite exactly the same. I am Chinese (not a Muslim) in Asia and the Turkish boy has been here for work for the past few years. I am older by 5 years and he is currently 31. We have been dating for over a year now and we have gotten serious and talking about marriage. I have recently also flown to Turkey to meet with his family (and he has met mine) but unfortunately they are adamant against us having a future and instead wants to find him a suitable candidate. He wants to end the relationship now as he sees no future to this to continue. I know family ties are really strong especially in traditional family but I am reluctant to let go of something i firmly believe in. Although i also understand that love isnt the priority in muslim families. I just am not sure if I should hang on for the sake of hoping they will eventually relent since he has a couple more years here and will not be moving back to Turkey so soon. And that he is quite ready to settle down but we just dont see how we can work this out without breaking his family ties. I have going to start understanding Islam more too for the sake of the promise i have made to him and myself since we started dating and also to find peace in myself. But i cant say i am not hanging on that Allah can give us a miracle here. Anyone has seen a miracle as such happen? I think the fact that i am older than him also plays a huge part in their objection since it may not be so easy for me to conceive now. I need a glimmer of hope. So desperate that this is the first time i am actually posting on any forum for support.
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