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linnea

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linnea last won the day on August 14 2014

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About linnea

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  1. I've been married almost 30 years with my Turkish husband and have not regretted a day of it and look forward to hopefully thirty more. I do not think of him as "my Turkish husband," and I am not his "foreign wife." We are very similar people, academics and workaholics, and we also share a huge sense of absurdist humor. Our families are of the same social class. I think that helps a lot. Plus, we met when I came here do do graduate work. Most of all, we are both very polite. We have not had a fight in all the time we have been together. We disagree, but we enjoy talking things through.
  2. His death threats are punishable by jail term. Any kind of threat, insult. If you can get a record of what he sayds, preferably in a text message so it can be verified, that might be helpful later. Document anything and everything, every bit of contact.
  3. Well, ha ha. I had a meeting with my boss. I handed him my resignation letter. We talked over everything .He rejected all of my criticisms ("you yelled at me. " "no I didn'", "you belittled my work." "No, I didn't.") And in the end he said, "I want you to take two months of (paid) holiday just to relax, rest, and think about this decision." I was not expecting that.
  4. I have been in Turkey 27 years. I know all kinds of Turks. my husband, for example, is caring, loyal, lovng, an excellent father, a hard worker, a leader of men (and women). We have friends, however, men and women (theses are doctotrs and lawyers) who regularly have affairs and move out and back into their homes, get divorced, remarry, you name it. The divorce rate in my home toen (in the US) is 52%. It is 35% in Turkey. As a huge overgeneraliztion, they tend to marry young and perhaps marry the first person they dated or who was indicatied as appropriate by their families. Fast forward 10 to 15, 20 years and they might think "hmmm, is this all there is." Modesty. I know many modest Turkish women, andthen I know Turkish women who when on vacation down south come to the dining table with no shirts on, in the name of modernity (I guess the French do this?) Foreigners. In my experience, Turks love foreigners. But I am fluent in Tukish and love them, so we tend to get along. As a foreign male you will have a much easier time meeting, dating, andeventually marrying a Turkiish woman if you are Muslim. You will be marrying the family, not just the women, and not just the immediate family but the whole extended family. Which can be very nice. Or not. IF in Judaism the religion is considered to pass down through the femaile line, in Islam it is them male side. It is possible if you are not Muslim, just more difficult.
  5. Another question. I e-mailed my boss asking for an appointment. He is very passive-aggressive (avoidant) and may not respond to me for several days. I would like to get this overwith. I do not want to hide in the bushes outside the Institute and jump out at him! If he does not get back to me, say, within three days, can I send him my resignation letter via registered post? I suspect that he is pushing me out of the position, which is his right. I'm not upset about that. A director can have an institute however he likes. Fortunately I have been ready to leave there for a year already. And now it is time. But I suspect he may think that I want to go out fighting and as I am very good at debate he may want to avoid me at all cost. That's why I ask.
  6. WHen I met my husband, he was 29, and a single man who lived alone. He was an architect who had gone abroad to meake enough money to open his own firm AND move out from his parent's house. Even the guy who introduced us, once it was clear we were very interseted in each other, pulled me aside one evening and said, "Be careful, he lives alone, there is something wrong there with him and his family...."
  7. Recent DNA research in Anatolia has revealed that only 15% of the population has origins in Central Asia, 15% from the Balkans (and of those a good amount of them were Karamanoğulularıw who were there in the 15th century) , and the rest are "Anatolian". A friend of my daughter in the US took the National Geographic test and came out 100% Kurdish. Mixed children do not experience an identitiy crisis. I am a mixed person, so is my husband, our daughter is even more mixed and she is lovely and proud of her ancestral heritage. She speaks Turkish and English fluently. We read to her every night before bed, one night English and one night Turkish, for 11 years.
  8. My nephews had the deed done in a hospital and a week later there was a huge party at the yacht club. They were given so much money that they invested it in Migros (this was 1999 and made a killing.
  9. I've been in Turkey 30 years. Once a family is above a certain income level, all of sudden she must have a c-section, and oh my god, her breasts don't work! (although this lastone is changing ) I was here until the 8th month of my pregnany and my doctor was all doom and gloom. Then I had to go to the US, my father was very ill. I got there, found a doctor, he took one look and giggled. You are perfectly healthy. I gave birth in 45 mnutes, listening to bossa nova music and telling my mother to stop making jokes. But I would like that tummy tuck MutluKadın mention )
  10. "Hale" is a Turkish woman's name. The friend of a friend is called that. I think it is Arabic-based, and a lovely although unusual name. PPlease name your child what you want to name her. Do not ask any one else to comprehend anything. They will get used to it in time. Give the child a second name. If she/he gets tired of the first, then that one is always ready ) I gave my daughter an unusual name (Sunaliza, a blend of heritages), and people got used to it. Americans, however, cannot figure it out. She is going to university there now. She goes by "Suna." I thought if she had trouble she would go with some variation of "Elizabeth", but nooooooo. I will be getting citizenship. I am going to pretty much dump the whole name I grew up with (I have never used my husband's name but will now). I will be called "Sevgi". I like the idea of being called while waiting, "Love!" Let love just ring through the place )
  11. I have been working at a university in Istanbul as a editor on a year to year contract since 1987. Until last year we had the same boss, and we got a long very well. I am a very hard worker, love to meet deadlines, and he knew that if I could not meet a deadline, ,t meant there was too much work. We have a new director whose expectations are wildly unreasonable. For example, in May he cut the time for my work from 8 to 2 weeks and when I informed him in writing that this was physical impossible, he telephone me and yelled at me. The evening before bayram he said, "I was theses 800 pages in 6 days". I said that amount of work takes 6 weeks. Sİnce then he has been calling me and asking me what is wrong with me, why am I so slow. And what's worse, the students-- for the first time in 20 years-- have been asking why I am so slow. When I walked into the office I got the same thing. I will be resigning as soon as I can catch him in his office. My questions are this: 1. Does a sözleşmeli employee need to give any kind of advanced notice. I will be quitting kust a few days before or on pay day. 2. Can I open a case against him for defamation of character? His comments to others could hurt my freelance business. I have spent 20 years carefully tending my image of friendly excellence. I want to be prepared when I have my meeting with him. Any advice you could give me woul dbe greatly appreciated. Thank you. Linnea
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