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ParttimeTurkey

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ParttimeTurkey last won the day on December 29 2014

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About ParttimeTurkey

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    ParttimeTurkey
  • Birthday 30/12/1979

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Kemer, Turkey

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  1. It depends on the stores and the brands. Generally, I find the quality to be the same as in my native country. Sometimes cheaper, sometimes the same prices. I buy a lot of clothes in Turkey because I want to display my back (almost impossible to find back-focused clothes in my country) and I also want work clothes that are modest yet not boring and old lady like. I guess I buy equally clothes in the two countries. No matter where I buy, I look at functionality and compare prices. I don't buy clothes in the market, as my boyfriend has warned me against it (I buy tops and underwear, but the quality is not good on other clothes). I like to brouce at LC Waikiki. Clothes are also a bit dependant on weather, some of the clothes that are functional in my country are less so in Turkey. Especially in summer I prefer to buy clothes in Turkey, as there is not such a good selection of summer clothes in my country due to our short summers.
  2. My boyfriend's family also does this; always come without notice and expeting to sleep over, even for days. They contribute to expenses, though. I have gotten used to it and actually feel warmed by their warmth and thinking of us as a place to come. I never expect them to be any different, so there is little dissapointment although I know none of my family would ever do something like that. I just know it is different and that influences everything. I think it is more of a problem the other way, that I WANT to plan things, so I can look forward to them, while he takes the approach that life will fix things for us. Especially when things are a little grey, it helps me to have something to look forward to, but it seems to me that planning is somewhat against his/their nature. So I have learned to planned only the most neccesary things and the rest just go with the flow.
  3. I actually wrote a list for my boyfriend what to check. I have done the tests myself, and I ran them through Google translate to make the list of what he needs to check for. And Yes, he was upset at first, but then he understood that I was just being "extra safe" and that I needed that security. And he was happy when he came out clean! I offered to pay for him, as I know it can be expensive, but he insisted on doing it himself and was quite happy when the papers told him he was clean! He is otherwise very much into safer sex, even insisting that his friends will wear condoms with their dates. The sad thing about Turkey iand sexual health is that information about STDs and pregnancy is considered information for married couples, not adolecents (the state literally gives out information leaphlets to newly weds). So they are dependant on friends and the media to learn about these things.
  4. I too came to Turkey after a relationship of sorts was over. I was really ready to enjoy myself, and in no way planned to meet somebody (I am not even that much into Turkish men in general - my boyfriend is Arabic-Turkish from a Syrian border town, so he doesn't even look that Turkish). Most of my boyfriends' friends are hard working serious people, and yes they mostly date tourist girls, because they are attracted to them and they can date them in a different manner than a Turkish girl. Of course a lot of them have one night stands and so on, but so does a lot of British or Western people before they meet someone they care about. Working in the tourist industry does not make anyone a bad person, or an uneducated person - in fact, some are students alongside their job, stretching out their studies because they don't want to be enrolled in the compulsury miltary. Many people work to send home parts of their pay to their families back home. There are rotten apples everywhere. Take your time to know the person. You are not dating "a Turkish guy", you are dating a person with his own history. He could be educated or not. He could be religious or not. He could be concerative or not. You don't know until you see the person on Skype talking about personal matters, visit him in his work town, visit his family in his home town. There are things about cultural differences that you may experience very slowly. If you are serious about the relationship, you will find solutions.
  5. This has nothing to do with him being Turkish, as you said his family was apalled that he had hit you. It is not normal for a Turkish man to react to his girlfriend/wife being in touch with their relatives and female friends. I can understand more him being upset over male friends, although I know lots of Turkish men who really don't care because they feel safe and secure that they are loved and will not be petrayed. My own Turkish boyfriend has female friends himself, so of course he doesn't expect me to cut contact with anyone. I know there is a little bit more tention in Turkey with males and females being in contact alone, but there are ways to solve this and his solutions are not solutions, they are just violence and abuse. Him being cheated on by his exes is not your problem. It sounds to me like he is living in the past and attacking things that are not there. Him showing disregard for your health iand your appointments with your doctor ss absolutely shocking, as most Turks have great respect for doctors. And by expecting you to respond in less than a minute to his texts, he sets up inpossible standards for your communication, one that will feel more threatening every day. You MUST refuse this. I would say, if you can get him to work on his jealousy and agression, your relationship might stand a chance. If that is not possible, listen to his family as well as yours; they in no way agree to him treating you like this. Why should you agreee? You love him and you want to stay with him, but by letting him treat you badly you are actually hurting him as well. I know it hurts so, so much - it hurts even when people who are not violent treat you bad. But as good as he might be on his good days, it doesn't make up for him being a physical risk to you and showing disreagard for your general wellbeeing. You will find love again - but unless he changes (and by that I mean; sees as psycologist) you will find yourself in the future very angry and dissapointed.
  6. I am from Norway too and my boyfriend Turkish. We were approaching your scenario, but he first finished his Bachelor and then payed himself out of the rest ( 3 year bank loan). I am not sure how the longer military service work, but I have been told that the 6 month military service - that my boyfriend were originally preparing to take - can be taken EITHER as 6 months with a sort of holiday half way, or as 4 1/2 months straight with no vacation or breakes.I understand that the reason he has to work during his holiday from Army is that he is probably almost broke. They don't get payed a lot to stay in the Army and they still have expenses not covered by the Army. There is no reason why you can't still go him and see him in the evenings Your boyfriend being away so much is a great incentive to: - start Do It Yourself projects and send them to him - do something for yourself, like start working out - begin a new hobby...for instance Turkish class! I know there is even Turkish cooking classes in several Norwegian cities now. I hope to take one myself.
  7. There is no ban on any nation to buy property in Turkey.
  8. Food and transportation is cheap in Turkey. Internet doesn't cost that much either. Housing prices (and the price for going out to eat etc.) varies greatly with the area you want to live in. Bigger cities will have higher prices, but so will popular tourist towns... Many places they prefer to rent out furnished flats, or you simply choose one that is furnished. Compare with other flats offered in the area to find the suitable price. If you want to live on a budget in Turkey, I suggest moving somewhere rural, or at least to the smaller cities.
  9. My boyfriend is going to pay himself out of 4 1/2 months of Turkish Army, that is going to cost him 18.000 TRY so he is taking up a loan to do it. And it has to be done before February.
  10. I think you should be ok to ask him to get tested (and definetely insist on using protection) AS LONG as you make a point about being/getting tested yourself. Underline that you are into this together. And do point out that he has to get tested for more than just HIV, otherwise he probably won't know that to test for. If you want to go without barriers at some point, you shoud do it knowing he doesn't have anything. I am SURE he will say that he used protection always and forever, which could even be true, but safer sex is only safer sex and you don't know what the ones he was with could have. In the end, if you explain why you are asking for it, he will respect you for going to such a measure to make sure the both of you are safe in this situation.
  11. If she doesn't have any proffessional network in the UK, she could try to build one, or apply for jobs from Turkey....
  12. Hi, I hope meeting the family and making plans for the future worked out fine I am a Norwegian girl dating a Turkish guy. He is 27, I am 34. We have dated 15 months, I have been to Turkey a lot during that time. I have met his family and friends. We are currently applying for his visitor visa to stay in Norway for a couple of weeks. I heard that Turkey is getting stricter on long term visas, especially for younger people who don't own property in Turkey. if you are going to stay in Turkey for a full year you will need to marry him first, or get a job. You can't apply for a student visa in Turkey unless you actually study with a Turkish university (and you need to know Turkish to do that). I am not sure you can teach English if you don't have an education in English or something on a similar level, still the main thing is you have to get a job offer before you enter Turkey. Maybe your boyfriend can ask around what qualifications they need at schools in his area. I am also looking at possible jobs in Turkey because living there for shorter or longer time is one of the possabilities we consider. I don't think I speak Turkish well enough to make use of the language in a job, however I am taking classes in the language so I could reach that level later on. Also just being in Turkey helps when you want to learn. As for Turkey in the countryside....yes, everyone is nosy and expects you to share, that is just the way it is. I used to feel private about my things and my secrets, but now I am like..what is the point! As long as I have what I need... I don't feel the need for "Norwegian" personal property like I did. I feel a sense of security knowing that if I need something or I am curious about something, it can be taken care of because I get to be nosy about others, too! I agree that living on one's own is important though, because everyone is going to "eat" all the rest of you, so that couple's privacy is neccesary. I have met his family and stayed in a bedroom with his mum on the other side of that wall. I feel like language is the biggest issue to deal with, anything cultural you can learn, but to have real communication you have to know the language. Turks generally don't speak English very well, my MIL doesn't know a word of English and having people translate gets tiring. On the upside, I used to be afraid to learn Turkish but after I understood how little I could commuicate with my MIL I found I just had to start learning the language... I think for us, since he has some education and work experience, if he learns Norwegian he might use our network to get a job offer in Norway. Coming to study is another option. Language is very important, though. I have friends with foreign husbands who struggle to integrate, and language is always an issue there. Norwegian is not an easy language, so the sooner he starts learning, the better. The way I see it, too, learning the language of the other is always useful, because no matter where we will live permanently, we will have to communicate with relatives on visits etc. I love Turkey, so ideally I would want us to have jobs that would allow us to somehow switch between living in Turkey and Norway. Which I kind of do now... I go to him to study part time, about 1 week a month.
  13. People are serious and unserious everywhere. Girls dating on holiday are not always that serious, they break local guys' hearts too you know. Turkish men can be charming all right, they are often forthcoming in a smooth way and pleasant to be around. They usually expect the same ammount of polite forthcomingness back, which I found troublesome in the beginning but now I am sort of getting the hang of it! I am dating a Turkish guy slightly into the second year. I might have payed "a small fortune" to be with him but it has all been expenses to support our relationship, nothing more. He is a kind and proud man who doesn't ask for money. He works full time and he pays his expenses, we share our common ones but I pay more since I earn more. I have met his family and friends. We have applied for visa for him to come see me. He is my boyfriend and I trust his intentions. He has been open about that he and his friends see my country as a better place to live because of worklife conditions which I can understand. We have discussed the possability of him finding work in my country in the future, if he learns my language. He finishes his studies soon, and once he pays his military debt he is free to settle where he wants. I am learning Turkish and my work allows me to live in Turkey part time. I am also considering moving to Turkey, should that be the best solution, or continue to fly back and fro to see him. I feel we are both doing what we can to prepare for the future.
  14. I take Turkish class where I live, I also make use of Babbel and Turkish Teatime. I try to surrond myself with Turkish music, cartoons, movies etc. and of course talk/write the language. I learnt so much Turkish through Babbel I had not problem coping with 1st Turkish class. I plan to continue to the levels I can take in my city. I find it is imporant to learn through different means.
  15. Is it possable to use this system to get my phone working that still needs to work in another country (with the prescription there)? I am in Turkey 1 week a month, some months 2-3 weeks.
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