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Sunny

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Everything posted by Sunny

  1. The telephone number for the Cesme bus station is (232) 7126499.
  2. When you are talking to an English person and they look at you blankly and you realise that you've been talking to them in Turkish. When you no longer wonder at being able to sit outside comfortably in the middle of winter. It no longer seems strange to order a new bottle of gas for your cooker. When you are calling people abi, abla, taser etc instead of using their names. When you are used to to travelling hundreds of km by coach for around 50tl (£7ish) Turkish relatives turn up at a days notice to stay a few days. You were expecting 5 but eight turn up and they stay a fortnight. Actually, I don't think I will ever get used to this one! Your Turkish visitors take over the kitchen and cooking cos they prefer it to your foreign rubbish. First time it horrified me but after that, whey hey, carry on. When you are used to seeing little children running about until the early hours of the morning.
  3. Sorry walter, but this isn't a dating site. Good luck with your hunt.
  4. As mamish says, Koycegiz is a very central place with many places within easy reach. Marmaris, Fethiye and Mugla, all 60 km away with other interesting places in between, such as Dalyan with Iztuzu, Dalaman with Sarigerme beach, Sultaniye with its hot springs on the edge of the lake, Yulvarlak cay with its crystal-clear melt water river with cafes on the banks, wonderful on very hot days.https://www.google.com/search?q=yuvarlakçay&rlz=1C1PRFE_enTR707TR708&oq=yuvarlak&aqs=chrome.1.69i57j0l5.184328j0j8&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8 Koycegiz is a Turkish town and a pleasant place to live with a lively market on a Monday to which tourists come by boat up the lake from Dalyan. Along the lake front there are a number of restaurants where it's very pleasant to sit, even on hot days as most days a breeze starts around midday. I personally haven't had any issue with mosquitoes. There is a small beach at the top corner of the lake with its nearby Belediye cafe and opposite is a shady park. As far as living is concerned, you can choose to live in the Koycegiz itself or in one of the nearby areas such as Toparlar, like me or Yeni Mahellesi and Zeytin Alani or a bit further out like mamish, in Dogus Belen or Beyobasi etc. There is an expat community, but it's not very big. If you wish to know more please feel free to ask.
  5. Sunny

    Hi people

    Another place teachers used to meet in the 1990s was the Sembol pub in Konak but I've no idea if they still go there.
  6. Hi Leoxy. Usually the motorway to Izmir is free flowing, may get queues at the toll booth on Sunday evenings when people return from a day or weekend away in Cesme. A lot of people are now living in Urla as it's not too far to commute to Izmir. I can't comment on life there as I've never lived there but it is obviously less built up than the city. If you want to be closer in but not actually in the city you could consider the Guzelbahce area where there are houses rather that tower blocks and good bus connections to the city centre. It all depends on the type of area you prefer, like Ken who prefers being within walking distance of pubs, clubs and restaurants, while I go for the open spaces where I can see a bit of green.
  7. I've been up here for a few weeks this year and can honestly say that Cesme area is mad with so many people. The traffic is horrendous and there are even traffic jams. Unbelievable! Such a pity as Cesme used to be such a lovely place.
  8. Hello Salah. I see you have been getting some excellent advice from Ken the others. May I suggest that, as you don't know the Fethiye area, that you consider renting somewhere for a while before you buy, as it would give you chance to get to know whether you like the town and the area and decide which part would be best for you, as there are quite a lot of different parts to Fethiye and its surroundings. May I ask what made you chose Fethiye?
  9. It will hurt but for your own sanity and safety please listen to us and don't go back. You've already been made ill due to stress. This won't go away as you will always have it at the back of your mind. No matter how much you love him, would you really want a life where you become totally subservient to him in case he throws a wobbly? Believe me, this is what will happen and you'll spend you life trying not to rock the boat to avoid his rages. The chances of him changing are negligible and you know it or you wouldn't be asking us our opinions. At the moment you've got independence and can come and go when you want but the longer you are together the more controlling he will become and already you have deleted FB because of his insane jealousy and cut yourself off from your friends. While you are in the first flush of love you'll be able to cope with this but a few months down the line you will become homesick and miss them. What then? Will you contact them secretly and lie about it if he questions you? If you live here, where will you live as I'm sure that he will start pressurising you not to work and to get married? Then you will be dependent on him and will not be able to easily escape. If you have children then you'll be really stuck as to visit the UK with them you'll need his written permission,noterised, to be able to take them out of the country. Also once you are married in Turkey it's a new ball game. I gather from your post, that, as you had an 18 hour bus ride, he comes from towards the eastern part of the country where families are more traditional and conservative. Married women are expected to stay at home and a lot even have to ask permission to go out to visit friends or go to the shops and are not expected to 'doll' themselves up, anyway you would be suspect if you went out alone and in some parts, if you went into a shop where there was a male assistant , your virtue would be questioned. My husband comes from Osmaniye and even when I walked my small dogs, the family always made sure that someone accompanied me. If you are sensible and decide not to go you will need to be strong to say no to his pleas as he will probably promise you the sun, moon and stars if you agree to go back. Be strong. What ever you decide to do I wish you good luck and remember we are here if you need to 'talk'.
  10. What brought me here can be attributed to a number of accumulative reasons. Things in my private life were heading south, I was in a job that involved quite a lot of stress and pressure and I worked with a number of people who were frequently saying how fed up they were so I said "Well why don't you do something about it," and realised that this also applied to me so to cut a long story short, here I am. I've been here for over 25 years and, although there have been ups and downs, I wouldn't like to go back to live in the UK, although I visit usually twice a year to see family and friends.
  11. Personally, I'd just get one in Turkey as it saves all the hassle and it's not that much more expensive taking into account the tax and registration fees.
  12. If you can afford both the expense and the time, the best way to get a good grounding in Turkish is to go to one of the intensive courses that various schools run. Here is a link with more information. http://www.studyinturkey.com/content/sub/learn_turkish_in_turkey.aspx
  13. That's good news. Thanks for letting us know. I hope you'll both be very happy.
  14. I think that you need to forget this man and move on. In my opinion he's just been using you to entertain himself. The fact that he won't tell you about his situation rings alarm bells loudly. I would be surprised if he is single as the way he's behaving is very suspicious and not normal. What he said about the theology sounds like bull. Why should talking to foreigners be forbidden, you could easily be a Muslim and still be foreign, why would that be forbidden? Maybe, if he said talking to women is forbidden, that would be more plausible. I'm sorry but I think there is no future in this relationship.
  15. I think you have left it a bit late for this year as the academic year is just about ending but as Kimac says , try Dave's cafe, you might be lucky. There are also private schools that require English teachers which would be a better option rather than language schools (Dershanes) some of which are notorious for their treatment of foreign teachers. You would also need to check on viza/work permit requirements before you come.
  16. I've lived in Turkey for 25 years and that is the first I've heard of this. I've looked on the net but can find no reference to it. What are your sources? It sounds as if he has been influenced by being back in Turkey and his family. This wouldn't be the first time that Turks have been involved with foreigners while abroad but when they return to Turkey they see things in a different light. Also you sound as if you are trying to convince yourself that all was well between you up until these last three weeks. Are you being honest with yourself or is it wishful thinking?
  17. Lovely area but unfortunately, during the summer now it becomes unbearably crowded and to drive anywhere you take your life in your hands due to the influx of big city type drivers!
  18. Ken has covered registration and what's required in the following post. Register a Foreign Mobile Phone in Turkey
  19. Sunny

    Aidat?

    I must say that your aidat sounds way too much. Speak to your neighbours to find out what they are paying as I believe, from what you said in another post, that you speak good Turkish.
  20. I have lived in Turkey for 25 years and have never heard of weddings having to be postponed for 9 months or more after the death of a family member. Yes, Muslims are not supposed to live or have sex with someone they are not married to but this very much depends on how seriously they take their religion. The same applies to drinking alcohol, which is also forbidden. I hate to say this, but are you sure that he hasn't got cold feet about marrying you? How long have you been together and have you met his family? Turks are very family orientated and it would be unlikely that he would go against his families wishes and culture if there was opposition from them. Islamic Traditions Traditions differ in every country and the Turkish interpretation of Islam is in some ways different than those in other Arabic countries. These comments are basically relevant for Turkish culture: Death is considered an act of God is not questioned. Faithful followers believe that all the events in the life-course of an individual, including the time and type of death, are pre-written by God. People in grief are encouraged to show their feelings openly. They are encouraged to cry loudly as it is believed that crying cleans the soul. Any expression of rebellion against God's decision to take a person away from her/his dear ones is considered a sin. Friends visit the house of the deceased and talk with the family members, encouraging them to describe how the death occurred, what they were doing at the time of death, etc. For seven days, the family members are never left alone. Friends and neighbors bring food, as no cooking is supposed to be done in a funeral home during those seven days. Traditionally, no television, radio or any musical devices would be allowed for 40 days but this practice has waned in recent years. There is a religious prayer at the 40th and another at the 52nd day after the death. Muslims are very sensitive to where their beloved ones are buried. They definitely want them buried in a cemetery for Muslims. They also want the funeral prayers to be led by a Muslim, not by a rabbi or a Christian priest. A special ceremony and prayers accompany the funeral. The body is buried without the coffin and wrapped in white clothes, as it is believed that the body should touch the earth. The body must be washed/bathed with certain rituals before the funeral ceremony begins. This usually takes place at either a special section of the mosque or in the morgue of the hospital. It is very upsetting when a body is buried without being washed. When meeting with someone who has lost a relative, conversations start by saying: "May you be alive and May God's blessings be on him/her - the deceased."
  21. "Since all tellers do all the different kinds of transactions, a fairer system would be simply first come first served." Not if you go to the 'Work' bank that you use - I'd be there forever. Must admit I do wish they'd change the banking systems, as the simplest task seems to take far longer than any transactions in the UK. I've been into my UK bank and had 9 people in front of me in the queue and still been served and out within 5 or 6 minutes whereas you'd be lucky to get out in that time if you only had one person in front of you here. There's nothing wrong with the food here, it's just that it would be nice to have more choice, not just in the big cities. For example, French food, Chinese food and Indian food would be nice to have available without it being sacrilege because I dare to want a change from the local stuff. Hobbit, if you mention to people that you live in Turkey when back home, they generally do see it as being somewhere exotic. Mind you, anywhere south of Calais would be exotic to some!
  22. Meral, if I use my credit card in the machine I get served much quicker than if I just press for a ticket, quite right too, as I'm a valued customer! Afraid I don't agree on the food, there is very little choice- Turkish food or Turkish food. There needs to be much more international cuisine. Generally people think that an ex-pats life is glamorous and exotic, when in fact it is very much the same as living in your own country with the cooking, cleaning, housework etc. Obviously there are perks, such as the lovely beaches and the glorious weather which are a big reasons for living here.
  23. Everyone thinks that their romance is the "One in Ten" but unfortunately it's not the case. Getting involved with anyone in a different country and especially a different culture needs to be taken VERY slowly and a lot of research done about the differences. It's so easy when you think you are in love to minimise these differences but these are the things that turn relationships sour. You must remember that getting involved with a Turk means that you are getting involved with the whole family, which is very different (believe me) form UK culture. I would suggest that you find the thread "What makes a marriage to a Turk work," and read it carefully.
  24. Welcome ClaireL. I'm afraid that to get a work permit to teach English you need a degree, preferably in English although many risk working without a work permit as many dershanes (language schools) will employ unqualified people. They risk deportation if caught but many are willing to take the chance.
  25. Mobile phone update - (Communications Law No. 5809 Turkey's Maritime, Transport and Communications Minister has announced that all holidaymakers coming to Turkey can now use their mobile phones in Turkey for up to 60 days, before it is blocked. (This has been extended from 30 days)
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