Sunny

It's sad to see a place, once thriving, now empty. The poor business people, how do they survive?

Another place teachers used to meet in the 1990s was the Sembol pub in Konak but I've no idea if they still go there.

Hi Leoxy. Usually the motorway to Izmir is free flowing, may get queues at the toll booth on Sunday evenings when people return from a day or weekend away in Cesme. A lot of people are now living in Urla as it's not too far to commute to Izmir. I can't comment on life there as I've never lived there but it is obviously less built up than the city. If you want to be closer in but not actually in the city you could consider the Guzelbahce area where there are houses rather that tower blocks and good bus connections to the city centre. It all depends on the type of area you prefer, like Ken who prefers being within walking distance of pubs, clubs and restaurants, while I go for the open spaces where I can see a bit of green.

I've been up here for a few weeks this year and can honestly say that Cesme area is mad with so many people. The traffic is horrendous and there are even traffic jams. Unbelievable! Such a pity as Cesme used to be such a lovely place.

Hello Salah. I see you have been getting some excellent advice from Ken the others. May I suggest that, as you don't know the Fethiye area, that you consider renting somewhere for a while before you buy, as it would give you chance to get to know whether you like the town and the area and decide which part would be best for you, as there are quite a lot of different parts to Fethiye and its surroundings. May I ask what made you chose Fethiye?

It will hurt but for your own sanity and safety please listen to us and don't go back. You've already been made ill due to stress. This won't go away as you will always have it at the back of your mind. No matter how much you love him, would you really want a life where you become totally subservient to him in case he throws a wobbly? Believe me, this is what will happen and you'll spend you life trying not to rock the boat to avoid his rages. The chances of him changing are negligible and you know it or you wouldn't be asking us our opinions. At the moment you've got independence and can come and go when you want but the longer you are together the more controlling he will become and already you have deleted FB because of his insane jealousy and cut yourself off from your friends. While you are in the first flush of love you'll be able to cope with this but a few months down the line you will become homesick and miss them. What then? Will you contact them secretly and lie about it if he questions you? If you live here, where will you live as I'm sure that he will start pressurising you not to work and to get married? Then you will be dependent on him and will not be able to easily escape. If you have children then you'll be really stuck as to visit the UK with them you'll need his written permission,noterised, to be able to take them out of the country. Also once you are married in Turkey it's a new ball game. I gather from your post, that, as you had an 18 hour bus ride, he comes from towards the eastern part of the country where families are more traditional and conservative. Married women are expected to stay at home and a lot even have to ask permission to go out to visit friends or go to the shops and are not expected to 'doll' themselves up, anyway you would be suspect if you went out alone and in some parts, if you went into a shop where there was a male assistant , your virtue would be questioned. My husband comes from Osmaniye and even when I walked my small dogs, the family always made sure that someone accompanied me. If you are sensible and decide not to go you will need to be strong to say no to his pleas as he will probably promise you the sun, moon and stars if you agree to go back. Be strong. What ever you decide to do I wish you good luck and remember we are here if you need to 'talk'.

What brought me here can be attributed to a number of accumulative reasons. Things in my private life were heading south, I was in a job that involved quite a lot of stress and pressure and I worked with a number of people who were frequently saying how fed up they were so I said "Well why don't you do something about it," and realised that this also applied to me so to cut a long story short, here I am. I've been here for over 25 years and, although there have been ups and downs, I wouldn't like to go back to live in the UK, although I visit usually twice a year to see family and friends.

Personally, I'd just get one in Turkey as it saves all the hassle and it's not that much more expensive taking into account the tax and registration fees.

If you can afford both the expense and the time, the best way to get a good grounding in Turkish is to go to one of the intensive courses that various schools run. Here is a link with more information. http://www.studyinturkey.com/content/sub/learn_turkish_in_turkey.aspx

I agree that it would be better to rent here when you are ready and invest your money in the UK. If you rent out property here you have to pay tax on it even if you live in the UK. The political situation is far from certain at the moment and likely to be for a while. There is also the issue of what's happening on the eastern side of the country and, while it's a long way away, who knows how things might escalate. Friends of mine are seriously thinking of selling up here and renting instead so that if the situation here worsens all they have to do is pack their bags and leap on a plane and some others have lost money having sold their property and left the country because of the drop in the value of the lira.

I'm afraid I have been unable to find any reference to citizenship via grandparents. The only thing I've found is the following which you will have to see if your situation or your father's is covered. http://madde14.org/english/index.php?title=Turkish_Citizenship_Law I'm not sure why you would want to get a Turkish passport as it would be very restricted, needing visas for many countries. I think that passports have various lengths of time up to ten years. If you are recognised as a citizen you would be eligible for military service, although I believe that it is possible to pay a fee for exemption.

The following link might be useful for you. Forgive me for not wading through it to find the specific information. http://dergiler.ankara.edu.tr/dergiler/38/256/2307.pdf

That's good news. Thanks for letting us know. I hope you'll both be very happy.

I think that you need to forget this man and move on. In my opinion he's just been using you to entertain himself. The fact that he won't tell you about his situation rings alarm bells loudly. I would be surprised if he is single as the way he's behaving is very suspicious and not normal. What he said about the theology sounds like bull. Why should talking to foreigners be forbidden, you could easily be a Muslim and still be foreign, why would that be forbidden? Maybe, if he said talking to women is forbidden, that would be more plausible. I'm sorry but I think there is no future in this relationship.

I think you have left it a bit late for this year as the academic year is just about ending but as Kimac says , try Dave's cafe, you might be lucky. There are also private schools that require English teachers which would be a better option rather than language schools (Dershanes) some of which are notorious for their treatment of foreign teachers. You would also need to check on viza/work permit requirements before you come.