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Meral

Çeşme
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Meral last won the day on May 4

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About Meral

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    Meral
  • Birthday November 15

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  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Çeşme, İzmir

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  1. MEIzmir.... I actually saw it on HalkTV night before last....
  2. And now it seems the head of the MHP Devlet Bahçeli has put forward a proposal that users must log in to their social media accounts by kimlik numbers..... this is extremely concerning to say the least! I hope it doesn't succeed.
  3. Hi Mary, welcome to the forum. I think the guy you've been dating has suddenly got cold feet (changed his mind about your relationship), but could not face telling you or to explain why. If everything was going well & normal (as you say) until he was faced with your child online, perhaps that had something to do with it? I may be wrong of course... it just seems to have happened at that point. If he doesn't contact you again it likely means it's finished -- although it's not a nice way to do it.. by ghosting you. I don't think it's usual for Turkish men to behave like this, although some may do, of course. And Ramadan wouldn't normally get in the way. He might have some sort of problem too. You were honest up front with him but he still let you down. It may be hard to deal with it, but if I was in your shoes, I'd just try to forget him, it may be for the best. I wish you well.
  4. Dear tequelinka, you will be having some difficult times in your own mind to look at both sides of the situation & make a decision for yourself. I wish you good luck in your journey.... and.. Oncebitten, I hope you made it back home before the travel bans... it seems the Corona virus is impacting heavily on people's destinies at this time, sometimes turning our worlds upside down. I also wish a good outcome for you. It really would be nice if the two of you could mutually support each other, as it is your personal lives & destinies that are at stake! God bless you both! :)
  5. Confirmed cases now well over 1800, with 44 deaths. Yes, it would be interesting to know the locations of these deaths, & even more interesting to know why the authorities are withholding that information. Because those of us over 65 are now forcefully confined to our homes, we can't travel or "avoid" areas of high deaths anyway... Yesterday in Ceşme I was reprimanded, first at the Electricity authority for coming in to pay the bill, & then by a traffic policeman who kindly encouraged me to return home a.s.a.p. Though I was masked & gloved all along I knew I should be at home but really needed to get stuff done, so risked going out.. I imagine the officials tasked with helping us to do these things would be flat out with the many requests, but I did see many elderlies out & about, unmasked & not bothered with keeping distances. We now have arrangements in place to get all our errands done for us, & banking business done remotely. Stay safe everyone..
  6. Wow, Oncebitten, it's good to hear back from you as I was wondering how things were working out for you. And thanks for addressing tequelinka too; your advice (literally from the horse's mouth) will, I hope, have a stronger impression on her than anything the rest of us could possibly say, who haven't lived it. I certainly hope she will take it to heart. tequelinka, I urge you to read the signs your fiance is showing you, read his anger when you challenge his dictates. Some things can't be left till after marriage to settle... you must sort them out now, before you take that step. Before it's too late......! Good luck with whatever you decide to do, just don't be blind-sighted as Oncebitten says.
  7. Dear tequelinka, in answer to your first question - YES! If he is already trying to control you now & gets angry, I'm sorry to say it's highly likely it will get worse after the wedding. Isn't it better to sort it all out before you go ahead with marriage? What does your family think about this? If you marry him now, and maybe have a child with him, believe me, it can get much worse. You already have one example of this from Oncebitten's story above.... married, home all day while he is working, not allowed to have friends or go out alone. His argument about dressing "modestly" as in the Koran (also in the Bible) is open to interpretation... it doesn't mean you should be totally covered up. Trust is also important -- he should trust you enough to let you see your friends & not need to check your phone calls & messages. And by the way, have you settled the question of your religious differences, at least? A woman alone in Turkey is probably as safe as anywhere else, provided she uses plain common sense. It's plain to see that he has his own fixed ideas about things & will insist you go his way. As I said before, it's totally up to you, & it's wise to wait & see. Good luck!
  8. tequelinka, I think you are very young & of course in love with your fiance, so you feel these things about trying to control how you look, how you dress & who you can talk to will not matter because he loves you, and you feel you should accept this because "it's part of the Turkish culture, & all Turkish men are like that". Perhaps many Turkish males are like that because it's how they were raised and what they observed in their own families & communities. But NOT all of them are like that. They are mostly on a continuum (some extreme, others less so). In the end, it depends on whether you are prepared to give up your freedoms for the sake of this man you love. There's no way you can change him -- you either accept it or not. This forum has many stories on this topic which you can find if you dig deep enough. The decision is, of course, yours. If I was in your position, I wouldn't be in a hurry to marry, maybe wait a bit longer & see how it goes. At least be aware of the possibilities. Whatever you decide, I wish you happiness!
  9. Hi tequelinka24, I totally agree with your recommendation that Oncebitten should leave the husband who treats her so poorly... Perhaps you might also consider your own situation... in Turkey it's often just as difficult to break ties with a fiance as with a husband, as they think they already "own" you. Marrying your fiance may see you trapped like in the scenario above... I think you should leave this guy!
  10. Hello Oncebitten, welcome! Your post really saddened me. As Cukurbagli says, it's not supposed to be like this, but unfortunately some Turkish & Kurdish men can be extreme in this type of behaviour, & you do not deserve this. No matter what you do he can't or won't change that behaviour because to him it is quite normal. I'm surprised he is letting you go to visit your family! Yes, you would do well to escape him in this way, but please do take very good care that you don't give him cause to suspect your plans beforehand..... I wish you the very best of success!
  11. Hi Crystal, welcome. Reading your post left me very concerned at your situation. Your description of your boyfriend's behaviour shows up so many red flags, if I was in your shoes I would never marry him but run away as far as possible. He sounds very controlling, he would never change & you would never be happy. If you have not yet met his family you have no way of knowing the truth about his background. Sorry my thoughts may not be to your liking, but there's no way to whitewash someone like that. In the end the decision is yours to make, & I wish you well.....
  12. After 2 years on Bimcell, I'm quite happy with it. I have noticed its signal is slightly fainter but that doesn't seem to affect the calls at all. Star, I chose to keep my Turkcell number so didn't need to buy their Simcard. They had to notify Turkcell first, then texted me the date & exact time the transfer would happen -- about 4 days (weekend in between). You will lose any credit you have with Turkcell, so it's good to choose a time when your credit is low. At the appointed time the Turkcell signal drops out & Bimcell signal kicks in, with one lira of credit, enough for a quick test call. Then you must go to Bim & buy credit (minimum 15 lira), or a package of your choice, and you're all set! Hope it all goes well... Good Luck!
  13. The dotted "i" in Turkish keeps its dot when capitalized, whereas the undotted capital "I" has no dot when small. They are pronounced differently. If you want to change it, try asking at the Nüfus Daire (Registry of Births) if you can have the spelling amended.
  14. Hi Eva, welcome. If it's a landline you can call 11811 & give the name & address, they will look it up & give you the current number. Also try this website http://www.ttrehber.turktelekom.com.tr/ (hope you know Turkish). Not sure if it's possible to find a mobile number (although mobile users are registered here). Failing all that, what about good old-fashioned snail mail? Good luck !
  15. Yes, Redders is right, and I also don't think you can get out of it if the military service has already been started. By the way, if mobile phone use is not permitted, then of course you are not allowed to do it secretly. If you were, it wouldn't need to be secret...
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