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kys

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  1. Thanks for your advice everyone, it's good to hear it's not just me. He messages sporadically to tell me he misses me or to tell me he's never coming back (depends what mood he is in and who he's been talking to) though yesterday he told me he'll come back if I sign half my house over to him.
  2. Well he was certainly somewhere noisy and busy (as I could hear it in the background when we talked on the phone), and according to his family and friends he's back in Turkey.
  3. Yeah, I don't understand his logic as he is back in Turkey as if our marriage never happened, having not paid one penny for anything or made any permanent changes to his life. It's like I never existed. I'm living in what was supposed to be our family home, in what was supposed to be our home town, having to hear his name every day...Thanks for the good wishes, I'm finding it tough at the moment - it feels like he's left me all over again
  4. Just an update - he flew back to Turkey this week (one month since leaving our house). He texted me while he was at the airport, telling me that he loves me, that he will always love me, but that I have destroyed his life!
  5. Thanks Abi and Sunni, I have my bad days but they're less frequent and I do feel much stronger. Thank you too for all your help so far
  6. Virtue, I'm amazed and saddened by how similar our stories are. I finally heard from my husband yesterday, he moved out of his brother's house at the end of last week to stay in the spare bedroom of some Turkish man he met in the city by chance while he was looking for work. He asked me to go see him in the city in this stranger's home "if I want to save our marriage"or he'll book flights back to Turkey tonight but I won't because it's always me who has to do the chasing and quite frankly I don't feel safe meeting in a random person's house!Aston, thank you for your advice and sorry for not ge
  7. If she had told me before that was the case then fine but she keeps telling me she'll keep in touch then doesn't contact me for days or ignores my calls. They have definitely made things worse.
  8. It doesn't upset me any more than he already has. The more I think about it, the more hurt I become - he honestly made no attempt to settle here and has blamed me when things haven't suited him. I have no way of contacting him now, my sister-in-law sent me a message this morning saying she and I are still friends but she doesn't want to be in the middle of our marriage. She says I should talk to my husband (no way of contacting him though) and she'll pass any messages on (but doesn't want to be in the middle)!
  9. They deny it but I now think so. I honestly feel it's the three of them making decisions about my marriage without me.I love my husband but I know I can't make him stay if he doesn't want to. And yes, if I never see my sister-in-law again, it'll be too soon! She has let me down so badly.Thanks Sunny, yes I am truly devastated - I have spent every waking minute of past year putting all my energies into arranging visas, our house, jobs etc to make sure everything was in place for when he got here. Within less than two months, he's decided nothing I have done is good enough!
  10. Thanks Abi, I hope he finds it too, whether or not it's with me
  11. He has been out of work since Feb 2012 when he was working as a security guard at council offices. Since then he tried to train as a barber in Turkey so he could work over here with his brother.He has a habit of quitting whenever things get difficult, our marriage included it would seem.
  12. He mentioned it once recently in passing but he has no job or property and we'd have to live with his parents. I don't speak much Turkish either, though I am learning. Here, I own my own house and have a full time job. He could make a life here if he wanted to.
  13. I generally agree with you but he really seems to dislike living here so I do believe he'll go back to Turkey. He hasn't told his mum yet so that makes me think he hasn't made up his mind, though that might have changed since we met earlier.
  14. I told my closest friend every detail and she was shocked as my husband comes across as a very genuine and charming man. She has been very supportive. My husband and I also went for dinner with my friends recently and they commented on how devoted he seemed. A few days later, he left me (a matter of hours after we'd discussed having children next year and maybe buying a house in Bodrum). He seems to be able to turn on the charm when he wants to and that's worrying.
  15. You're absolutely right. Last weekend, he seemed dead set on flying home to Turkey but today he was ready to come home tonight if I did what he wanted. I explained that if I did, he would think he control me or could get me to do anything and asked what he'd ask next time. He said if I did what he asked, our future would be perfect and there would be no next time. I'm not so sure!
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