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TaterTot

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  1. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from Vic801 in Controlling? obnoxious? childish turkish men?   
    Not to get all preachy, but I don't think it's right to go into marriage with the attitude, "if it doesn't work out, then my family can clean up my mess and I can just move on."  I think it should be taken WAY more seriously than that.  It's not a game...
     
    Also, imagine brining a child into this circumstance.
     
    If you are already so cavalier about this, then I'd just walk away now and save the trouble of getting a divorce.
  2. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from Fen in Controlling? obnoxious? childish turkish men?   
    You already have to lie to him when you are in another country and not even married yet???  You are 23 and he's 33.  Trust me, this is NOT going to get better!!! 
     
    Would you take this from a guy from your own culture?  If you put up with this, you will be a prisoner on some farm.  Don't you feel like you deserve more???
     
    You've got a future and you are already throwing it away, losing jobs and your personal identity as well. 
     
    I'm sorry to say, but this is something you should RUN away from, NOW! 
  3. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from Vic801 in Controlling? obnoxious? childish turkish men?   
    You already have to lie to him when you are in another country and not even married yet???  You are 23 and he's 33.  Trust me, this is NOT going to get better!!! 
     
    Would you take this from a guy from your own culture?  If you put up with this, you will be a prisoner on some farm.  Don't you feel like you deserve more???
     
    You've got a future and you are already throwing it away, losing jobs and your personal identity as well. 
     
    I'm sorry to say, but this is something you should RUN away from, NOW! 
  4. Like
    TaterTot reacted to phonicsdude in advice about what to have to eat when my niece's boyfriend, who is from Turkey comes to my house for dinner   
    "Pizza should never be an issue, it should be a solution."
     
    Clinky - 2013.
  5. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from WineGirl in Should i trust him or never?   
    My guy was a student and pizza driver when we met.  He came here to learn English, but had a job in advertising back in Turkey.  That was 4 1/2 years ago.  Our son just turned 15 months! 
  6. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in Etiquette when meeting the parents...   
    Way to go!  See, Sunny?  Sometimes I DO know a thing or two!   
  7. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from raajkumar in Kite Festivals   
    My husband's family has a kite museum in Istanbul and I'm sure I can get some info for you.
  8. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from Vic801 in Relationship Advice... please give your views   
    Hey- you never know.  He could be sincere.  But if he is, he won't spoil you. 
     
    I'd not do, or NOT do, anything for this guy. 
     
    All I can say is, don't give yourself to a man in hopes of it leading to anything.  Once you give that, you can't take it back. 
     
    It has NOTHING to do with him being Turkish.
  9. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in Etiquette when meeting the parents...   
    Hate to say it, but once you have a bebek, you'll need all the $$$ for diapers- not diamonds! 
  10. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from nikemre in Should i trust him or never?   
    My guy was a student and pizza driver when we met.  He came here to learn English, but had a job in advertising back in Turkey.  That was 4 1/2 years ago.  Our son just turned 15 months! 
  11. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in Etiquette when meeting the parents...   
    I'd worry more about the weather and dress for it.  A nice dressy overcoat in the chilly weather is always a good look, no matter what.
  12. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in Etiquette when meeting the parents...   
    Sounds lovely.  So do you!  You're already a sweet DIL!
  13. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in Traditional Manti Recipe   
    Yeah, I got a bunch of tricks up my sleeve, lol!  Glad you enjoyed.  Nothing like making a comfort meal and hankering down!
  14. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from Meral in Real or fake ?   
    I'll try not to sound rude...  Sorry if I do.  You're my age.  Crying all day over a holiday romance?  Really?  Did he even say anything about getting into a serious relationship?  Turks love families and you're a bit on the older side to begin one with a guy who's not already got one.
     
    The heart?  Sounds like he's got a deal with one of the local gift shops.  I'm willing to bet there are quite a few women who have his "mother's necklace."
     
    If you want to continue to have a little fun with him, it's your right.  But don't think you'll have anything meaningful with him.
  15. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from emreoz in Real or fake ?   
    I'll try not to sound rude...  Sorry if I do.  You're my age.  Crying all day over a holiday romance?  Really?  Did he even say anything about getting into a serious relationship?  Turks love families and you're a bit on the older side to begin one with a guy who's not already got one.
     
    The heart?  Sounds like he's got a deal with one of the local gift shops.  I'm willing to bet there are quite a few women who have his "mother's necklace."
     
    If you want to continue to have a little fun with him, it's your right.  But don't think you'll have anything meaningful with him.
  16. Like
    TaterTot reacted to cayaholic in Traditional Manti Recipe   
    They sell these things here for about a lira which are for making manti. Plastic thingies that make it much easier. You should pick one up while you're here. 
     
    Here's a link to what I mean: http://mcdn01.gittigidiyor.net/2905/MANTI-KALIBI-MANTI-YAPMAK-ARTIK-KOLAY__29052824_0.jpg
  17. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from cayaholic in Etiquette when meeting the parents...   
    Well, I have a different perspective, as my husband's family is very religious.  Some Turks actually look down on Islam, so I don't know what you should do.  But I know what I'd do with my husband's.  Here they are:
     
    Kiss her hand and put it to your forehead.
    Call her Annecim.
    Serve her the bride's coffee.
    Get a nikah so all relations with your fiancé are deemed appropriate.
    Sleep on the sofa or better yet, you sleep over at a girlfriend's house.
    No alcohol. 
    No physical stuff beyond a gentle loving touch every now and then.  You won't die.
     
    Now, seeing as their divorced and you mentioned that they may drink, they may be more liberal.  Still, you're so wanting to make a good impression, so I'd err on the side of conservative.
     
    What did I give my inlaws upon meeting?  I made them a cross stitch.  They framed it and it's in their bedroom.
     
    Good luck!
    Edit:
     
    Opps.  Wrong "they're."  BAD English teacher!  Time to go to bed.
  18. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in Traditional Manti Recipe   
    Too much work.  In a pinch, I just use tortellini.  I know...  But I've always got yogurt, salca and mint on hand, so it's all good.
  19. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in My story so far :)   
    I stand corrected in that area.  There can be a lot of milestones between those years.  For me, though, I was still drifting at 24.  Good for you for having more focus than me!
     
    My biggest growth happened once I had a "real" job.  Then, once I had a child.  Wondering when my next growth spurt will occur.  I'd hate to think I've topped off!
  20. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in My story so far :)   
    24 vs 18 ain't that much of a difference!  I'm going to be (gasp) 40 in two weeks!!!
     
    I joined this group only about a year ago, but I wrote a lot about my relationship on two other forums when I first started dating my Turk, now husband.  Some were supportive, some cautioned me.  Others were downright mean!  (I bet some members on here may even know of whom I speak.)  But that's the beauty of being able to post stuff on these boards.  You get a wide variety of opinions to help you gage your feelings.
     
    I'm no longer on those other forums since my life has changed, but part of me would love to somehow update a few of them.  Particularly that nasty one!
     
    Just keep it light as you figure things out.
  21. Like
    TaterTot reacted to phonicsdude in How Much Vacation Time Does an English Teacher Get in Turkey?   
    My love of cereals and apples, my vacation time is roughly 9.30am. After my fırst brew.
  22. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in My story so far :)   
    Linda- you never know...  So, what I suggest is to "do your own thing" where you are.  If you keep seeing him on and of b/c you like him and visit on spring breaks and summers, so be it.  But don't pass up things right now for a giant maybe in the future.
  23. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from because89 in Love Rat Emre   
    People did say, "I told you so," by rubbing her nose in the fact that she was warned earlier on.
     
    Hey, Emre's English is way better than my Turkish, so I can't comment on that.
     
    Emre, I don't know how you found out about this posting, but I know you came on here to try to clear up your name.  What I gather is, you lied to a woman- you said you were divorced when you were still married.  AND you took her money.  Don't you see how that's using her?  Unfortunately, you just look worse now.  You have no remorse.  You want to clear your name, you say, "I'm sorry.  I was wrong.  I will never do that again."
     
    Shame.
  24. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from Vic801 in Love Rat Emre   
    People did say, "I told you so," by rubbing her nose in the fact that she was warned earlier on.
     
    Hey, Emre's English is way better than my Turkish, so I can't comment on that.
     
    Emre, I don't know how you found out about this posting, but I know you came on here to try to clear up your name.  What I gather is, you lied to a woman- you said you were divorced when you were still married.  AND you took her money.  Don't you see how that's using her?  Unfortunately, you just look worse now.  You have no remorse.  You want to clear your name, you say, "I'm sorry.  I was wrong.  I will never do that again."
     
    Shame.
  25. Like
    TaterTot got a reaction from ash88 in My story so far :)   
    A few rules if you are to continue this. 
     
    1.  NEVER give him money or send him things.
    2.  Don't put your life on hold.  If you're in school, stay there.  If you have a chance at a great job, take it.  Relationships come and go, but you'll always have to live with the consequences.
    3.  Be honest about your expectations.  Like living in Turkey, for example.  Or religion.  Or kids.  Maybe it's a bit early to discuss it, but since he mentioned meeting his parents, you may as well get those difficult conversations over with, as not to waste time with someone who wants different things.
    4.  Don't compromise.  You're too young and it's too early to already give things up that are important to you.
    5.  Don't change who you are for him.
    6.  If you find yourself having to justify this relationship to everyone, that's a red flag.
     
    I think if you keep these in mind, you should at least protect yourself.  You are young, but who's to say what can happen.  Just don't open yourself up to being hurt or becoming a target or bad statistic.
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