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Everything posted by TaterTot

  1. I was just about to wonder if his "mother" dying is even true... You never met her and now he can't marry you because of her death? Sounds a little fishy to me... But yes, it's true that you would NOT be living together if not married. That's not outlandish, even by American standards- ever hear of the term, "living in sin"? I'd tell him that you respect his wait time (is it 40 weeks??? 40 is big in Islam...) but if he doesn't set a date NOW and pay for the invitations to get printed, you're going to assume that he has no real intention of marrying you and you'll break it off.
  2. This is an example of the culture clash... In short, kids are everywhere. I was amazed how we'd go to the café in the park in the summers and 3 year olds would still be running around after midnight!
  3. I may have given you the wrong impression. I didn't mean that your relationship is a fantasy- that's not for me to say. What I mean is, before you get married, it's essential to hammer out a lot of the expectations of the marriage BEFORE deciding to get married in the first place. I know MANY relationships that have failed and ended in divorce because the tough conversations were not had before the wedding. Like, what if her parents forbid you to marry her. Will she go against them? What if they cut her off? What if they only allow it if you move there permanently? What if you can't
  4. I hate to be the voice of gloom and doom, but you wrote that as long as the two of you are together, things will work out. SOOOOO not true!!! You asked when the best time to propose is... NOT until you put ALL your cards out on the table and talk about REAL stuff... not just love. You want to eventually be with your family. She wants to be with hers. You can't have it both ways. It's easy to get married to her. But know what's going to happen? In a few years, you'll be posting how to get divorced and researching the legal system in Turkey. If you respect her at all, y
  5. Awww, I didn't say a better guy... just Turkish! If you spoke about marriage, then I'm at a loss... Sounds like you and she have communication issues, at best. Do you speak Turkish, or do they speak English? How did you speak to each other?
  6. I don't see how she could have kept you a secret if you met her parents...??? Maybe you were just a friend to them? The fact that things have cooled off on her end may mean that her family has a nice Turkish boy lined up for her.
  7. Don't go by magazines- they are usually dedicated to the sensational Love Rat stories- there's no money in a normal story. It's hard to generalize. There are liberals and conservatives. The bigger question is, why are you possibly relocating to a country you essentially know nothing about?
  8. Goreme- I understand. Prejudging someone due to stereotypes is wrong. Then again, stereotypes are there for a reason- because many times, it's true. Case in point with the OP. But ash's husband is the exception, and he shouldn't be pigeonholed due to that fact. As a hijabi woman, I have instantly become victim to many stereotypes. I had decided to keep hijab in the US as an opportunity to dispel them. You'll never be able to argue someone out of their way of thinking when it comes to prejudice- that's because it's not logical. The best way to fight it is to listen, set examples, and
  9. I think the stereotype of the men from East Turkey is that there's not many opportunities going on there, so they are the majority of the tourist guys. True?
  10. LOL @ 4:25... Mesala... I guess I'm getting good at Turkish because I get the humor! He's a good actor. Skeevy, yet so cute. She's cute, too. I like them together as an acting couple. I wonder who they are. Are they famous in Turkey?
  11. Is it important for her to keep hijab??? Just curious.
  12. How is that you are considering marrying a Turkish girl, but you don't know anything about the culture??? Is it a meeting that's been arranged? I'd say the smaller the town, the more conservative, in general. My husband's family is from Izmit, a town about 1.5 hours from Istanbul and they are very religious, but also pretty liberal. The two are not mutually exclusive.
  13. Well, if you are both dedicated to weather the storm together, then go for it! I think it's small minded on both sides... If you find love with a good person, that should be enough. My inlaws are VERY spiritual and they totally accepted me having a daughter. I did convert and I've never been happier in my heart. It's had its challenges, but I'm blessed overall. How about you? If you and he are in it full throttle, then you should discuss kids, religion, where to live... Better now than later.
  14. Technically, yes, Turkey is in Asia Minor. And "true" Turks are from Mongolia. But I highly doubt that people from Turkey would check the "Asian" box on a form. Why do you say that Turks believe in stereotypes? Isn't THAT generalization a stereotype as well???
  15. Google Asian men. See what you get. Only the jilted post things... If I paid attention to the internet, I'd not have my son who's turning two next month. Creeps are creeps, no matter what ethnicity.
  16. I've been to Konya. It's the best of both worlds- tourists b/c of Mevlana, yet very much filled with locals, so it's not a resort town. It's home of Sufism/Rumi. So if you like whirling dervishes, you'll be at home! : )
  17. Forget that he's Turk... You were in a 7 year abusive relationship. Now, you're in another dramatic situation (even if he proves to be a good guy). My suggestion??? TAKE TIME OFF FROM MEN and work on yourself first. The fact that you were 14 and with a guy for SEVEN years, yet your parents were clueless means that you were/are not close to them. I'm willing to bet you came from drama as a kid and you are attracted to it now. Am I right??? My guess is you are a magnet for drastic situations and are co-dependent. If he's working the tourist areas, that means he's not educated. Woul
  18. US citizen- check. Sweet- check. Took his profile off the internet- check. Taking it slow, but not too slowly- check. So, it sounds like he's just a normal guy who happens to be Turk. From my experience, that's AWESOME! It means if you ever get married, he'll know REAL duty to his family and will do everything to make you happy! And if you have kids, you'll be told that you are paradise for your children. : D Of course, there are BAD stereotypes, but nobody seems to focus on the GOOD ones! : D Just treat it like any other relationship. But DO have these discussions NOW so you don't
  19. I think she means she got legally married in some way, but they will have a big formal party/reception on May 3rd. Congrats!
  20. Yep. Pretty much says it all. Of course, it's not fair to generalize, but the stereotype's there for a reason. There's an argument for not drinking alcohol right there!
  21. I think foreign women get a bad reputation from the tourist girls who are notorious for having holiday hookups. One way to avoid seeing stares is to bring something to read. That's not to say that you shouldn't have your wits about you, though. As for female stares, I remember reading up on European etiquette when I first went to Paris. It said that if one woman stares at another, take it as a complement because she may be trying to analyze your outfit, makeup, etc. to copy it on her own.
  22. I don't know much about Turkish law. Is there such a thing as probation? Any way to land is ass is jail and THEN leave?
  23. I DID respond to the PM this person sent me. When I asked for proof that he/she works for a real publication, the emails stopped.
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