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TaterTot

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Posts posted by TaterTot

  1. Hello.

    I think the least of your worries should be the particulars of finances in Turkey, as I don't see your man as being sincere.

    Blocking you from accounts and reopening others?  Sounds waaaay shady.  Also, do his parents know about you?  Lots of questions to answer before even thinking about this guy in a serious way, I'm afraid...

  2. Are you ready to be disowned?

     

    If you and he really are into each other and are talking serious, then start having important conversations... like were you to be disowned, would you go back to Turkey to live with his family???

    Why is he here?  Does he need someone to get with to stay there, or is he fine going back to Turkey?  

    What about kids?  You career?

    You're young, so no need to rush things.  Enjoy your freedom.

  3. Again, I'd go through the family.

    If you have MALE friends where you live, as THEM if they have any sisters ready for marriage...  Or maybe they've got other friends who have sisters.  Just get the word out that you want to find a wife... presuming you are financially stable and can support a family, know how to treat a woman with respect, then you should have no problems.  Being a good dresser and good smelling (but not too much cologne) helps, too!

  4. Hello.  I see you PMed me, so I thought I'd respond.

    First off, please understand that your English is not "perfect."  This is not a criticism, but you do need to understand that.  I would not be doing you a favor if I kept that to myself.  You need to know.

    To the point of your query- does she have a brother?  

    Presuming she's traditional and you are, too, I'd be clear that you are ready in your life to find a wife and settle down.  They will respect you if you make this intent clear.  Better to do that then to "pretend" to be her friend when you really want a wife.

    I know others may differ, but my husband's family is traditional Turk, and I've seen both his brother AND sister meet and marry within six months' time!

    (Yes, I am a woman... you called me "Brother" in your PM to me.  Surprise!)  : D

  5. I didn't mean "catfished" in the sense he's actually a 400 pound woman from Arkansas...  I mean that he's not honest about what's really going on.

     

    I think you are either divorced or not... so I don't know what you mean by "completely."

     

    How can you be engaged to someone who's already married?  That IS illegal (if not tacky) since it implies intent to commit polygamy.

  6. I've seen it twice with my husband's sister and brother.  They were "set up" with their spouses, but the "kids" had a say in it.  When my SIL was of "marrying status," word got out and mothers of eligible sons approached my MIL.  They researched the one man's family and their reputation.  Once they passed that part, the kids emailed.  Then talked.  Then met with the families...  There's a certain way to do these things.

     

    Six months later, they are getting married!

     

    Same with my BIL.  They have their first kid.  They planned a wedding after two months of seeing each other.

     

    They are very religious, but not of a rural area and are also very progressive.  It's quite a lovely thing to behold.  wub.png

  7. @Kas (sorry, no Turkish keyboard)-

    I HATE the attitude of "stay out of my business" when it comes to kids these days. 

    I am in the States and am NOT that old and I think it SHOULD be the business of ANY adult to step in when kids are concerned.  But this whole, "don't talk to my kid" thing is largely what's wrong with society today.

    I think kids should be kids, as long as they don't interfere with other's right to enjoy themselves.  And of course, safety.

    Kids running around in a park?  Go for it.  Open space and grass.  Kids running around in a restaurant?  NO!  Hot food... need I say more?

    I also HATE screaming.  That should be saved for physical pain and abductions.  NOT for playing.  Yelling when role playing in the park?  As long as a person trying to read isn't bothered...

    My DH and I share a common porch area with the neighbors.  The entire neighborhood's kids play on OUR porch.  My DH wants to shoo them off.  I say that's a bit not nice....  But the fist curse or inappropriate discussion I hear, and I'll say, "You want to talk like that??? Do it on your own house so YOUR parents can hear it!"  And if it keeps going on, I'd be fine walking over to their parents and telling them what their kid's doing.  As long as I'm not nasty about it, I shouldn't have to worry about retribution...

    It's all a balancing act.

  8. I'm presuming you mean to the same person... lol!  <3

     

    Technically, no, you can't. 

     

    I'd say, if they don't know you're already married, then, yes...  Just don't say you're already married.  That way, you can get the "red book."  : )

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