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About randomguy

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    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 08/06/1983

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    Dhaka, Bangladesh

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  1. @TaterTot - Thanks for all your best wishes, I think they are actually working @Lin - You are right, planning for something this calculatively really takes the fun out of it. This I suppose is one of my biggest problems. But you are right, its useless sitting at NASA and planning for a base in moon The initiative has to be taken. Btw, loved your analogy of London Underground rail system, if it is so, seems to me your life could be quite an exciting autobiography And actually I am doing exactly what TaterTot mentioned above, that is preparing myself for the step. It's not easy leaving behind all the responsibilities and flying off to another country for half a year. But dear Lin, I'll keep your words in mind, and let go of my rulebook once I step out there, I promise Thanks for the [email protected]@TaterTot - You are right on point, there really are different "brands" of muslim, which has become my biggest problem, because I fall right in between the two I would call myself a moderate Muslim, I try to be good, try to pray 5 times a day but miss sometimes :S I don't drink, but I also don't think women should be confined to four walls of the houses and cover up there faces with black burkhas. In short, I am like Turkey, where the West and the East meets which obviously justifies my inclination towards the country. Priorities are different for everyone in this world, and just like Lin's Underground rail system, after experiencing quite a couple of relationships I have finally been able to paint a picture of the Ms. Right. TaterTot is also very true in this respect, because its not like I didn't date a couple of Turkish girls during this last trip of mine, they were great, cheerful, fun, outgoing, educated, and frankly speaking a little too westernized for me, if only I was a little more modern, life would've been much easier But, what can I do, I am who I am, and being me, I tend to incline more towards women with headscarves and that certain shyness which nowadays is even rare among Bangladeshi women. Please don't misunderstand me, as I am in no way setting a stereotypical standard for women, I'm a very easy going free person, but in short, most of the Turkish girls I dated seemed like the sweetest people in the world, but being a moderate muslim, my fondness towards a certain kind of dressup sense and family-values by practicing muslim women in Turkey prevented me from proceeding any further with many of them. Its not like there are very few of these women with headscarves, but its more difficult to initiate any contact with them being an outsider and not part of the system, since these wonderful people are much more conservative relative to other open-minded and wonderful Turkish citizens. Well, I'm not complaining, because never in my life have I failed a mission, the only problem is, this isn't a mission But, I believe one with patience, persistence, perseverance and last but not the least, a good heart (or so I believe) is unstoppable. And, as I mentioned earlier to TaterTot, her prayer seems to be working a little since I have already struck up an acquaintance with a wonderful lady of promising character from Istanbul. Its not much they ask for anyways, all I'll need are the wits of Sherlock Holmes, charms of Johnny Depp, style of Al Pacino, and an image like Donald Trump's, and I'll be all good to go ;P I'll go on and off this thread once in a while, but do not be deceived in thinking I'm dead, because upon my visit to Istanbul I shall rise again with questions as many as the Persian arrows that blocked the Spartan sun And once again, you guys rock! True Sunny, I do believe I've received all the advice possible and they seem to have set me on the the right track for now, thanks to you guys Hoping to disturb you again from Istanbul Cheers
  2. @TaterTot - I think you could be right. Only when I compare this girl i dated during my last visit to Istanbul and this girl I met online, I can actually realize the differences in their behaviours. The person I dated is always in touch with me and we do communicate in a regular basis without interruption. I guess anything online is not to be taken that seriously and in order for me to find out the exact reason for this other girl's behaviour, I am sure a visit to Istanbul is necessary. @Abi - Lol, no worries, you are always welcome with your valuable opinions In fact, you could be right too, if she was only having fun, she wouldn't have given me her address, phone number in Istanbul, also its not like I give into her everytime. During our conversation, she can definitely be considered the initiator of intimate expressions. As a matter of fact, just for the sake of understanding, I would like to disclose this to you that she generally wears a headscarf, and as far as my understanding goes being a muslim a woman who wears headscarf is not likely to take it off in front of everyone, but in this case, I have seen her without it several times on skype. I suppose, it must mean something. She is in her 3rd year of University, old enough to be mature I think. Well, I'm not in any rush at the moment, to be frank, I am actually waiting for my younger brother to come back to Bangladesh from his higher studies in a year, and the moment he can take on my responsibilites in my business, I'll get myself a nice little place in Istanbul and am planning on living there for half a year. But, thanks for your input Abi, means a lot. Cheers @TaterTot and @Aston - Lol, thanks TaterTot, for being so sweetly defensive about me, I must say, you are way too nice and kind . As for Aston, to a certain extent, she might be correct with her statistics, but in the end its all about which statistics you choose to emphasize on and which statistics makes a difference to YOUR life. I have joined this forum not to represent my country, address the disparity of rich and poor in my country, or show off the glitzy skyscrapers of Bangladesh. My intention is obvious from the Title of this thread. So, if a little common sense is applied, it would be hillariously comical, if I upload pictures of slums in Bangladesh and seek advice of marrying a woman to this very country. With such talents of depicting my country, I doubt if I'll even have the opportunity of coming across a middle-class woman enjoying a certain standard of living in Ethiopia, let alone Turkey, specially, when I myself don't live in those slums. Lets talk some slums, shall we? India's Mukesh Ambani, one of the Billionaires whose wealth once surpassed that of Bill Gates couple of years ago and one who has the most expensive house in the world apx. seven times more expensive than that of Bill Gate's, lives in the same city which has the third largest slum in the world - Dharavi, with almost a million inhabitants. http://www.toptenz.net/top-10-most-expensive-homes-in-the-world.php Brazil, which is the 6th largest economy in the world, a country with foreign reserve far greater than UK, Germany or France, has one of the biggest slums in the world as well. http://placemanagementandbranding.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/favela1.jpg http://www.irinnews.org/pdf/in-depth/TomorrowsCrisesToday-Chapter6.pdf Even China, whose economy is expected to overtake that of United States' by 2016 has slums of its own. In short, slum-dwelling depends upon the population of a country and it is of no surprise to me that Bangladesh has its own slum, considering the fact that despite it's small size its population is double the size of Turkey's. http://www.presstv.ir/usdetail/294894.html Even Hong Kong, famously known as the country with the highest numbers of Rolls Royce per head is not immune to slum-dwelling http://travel.cnn.com/hong-kong/visit/rooftop-housing-740690 Carlos Slim Helu (The richest man in the world at the moment) of Mexico happens to be the citizen of a country with the largest slum in the world Neza-Chalco-Itza, a barrio in Mexico City with around 4 million inhabitants. Following is a link with satellite images of not only the aforementioned slums but also slums in countries like Japan and Turkey. http://www.businessinsider.com/worlds-biggest-slums-2011-2?op=1 Moral of the story: Just because a country has slums does not mean that the entire population are slum-dwellers and live under the poverty-line. Anyone with significant knowledge of economics can comprehend the relationship between booming urban populations and slums. Now, this is where I agree with you Aston. Just because I have a passion for things like horseback riding, fencing, and golfing, doesn't mean I can claim that all my Bangladeshi brothers have the same privileges as I do. In fact, I am sure that a very insignificant percentage of people in the global population take fancy into sports such as these. I don't suppose I should be ashamed of the fact that God has been kind enough to bestow upon me the title of a (VHNWI) Very High Net Worth Individual ,according to World Wealth Report. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High-net-worth_individual As Spiderman's uncle once said "With great power, comes great responsibility," It'd be wrong to say that we don't contribute to the people in need. God knows how many thousands of people my dad has donated to, as when I was a child I remember seeing my dad send trucks loaded with food every Friday after Jumma prayer to all the slums. We supply umbrellas during rainy reasons, winter coats during winter to as many villages as possible. We even started this charitable organization where instead of providing food or daily necessities to the poor, we buy them products with which they can start there own little business and permanently settle down by earning a living. The idea is much more efficient and sustainable when it comes to eradicating poverty. Although, I would disagree with Aston on one issue - -Not because my wife will be riding in her chauffeur-driven Merc to her whereabouts instead of traveling with Istanbulkart. -Not because she will live in a penthouse overlooking the entire Dhaka city instead of living in some shabby lane not so much like Besiktas. -Not because the doors to Le Jules Verne in Eiffel Tower, Ice Hotel in Sweden, Redwood's Treehouse restaurant in New Zealand and archipelagos like Seychelles, Bora bora Tahiti, Galapagos, Easter Island, Hawaii or even Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Galactic flights to the space (in future ) will always be open to her But because in marriage these are the least important matters to worry about, and could be considered almost insignificant, when it comes to having a good life partner, who'll be by your side through thick and thin. With the right person in life, the place around yourself becomes almost invisible, or so I believe. Maybe I am a hopeless romantic, but afterall its my marriage we are talking about ;P (Btw, I am very much aware of the fact that there are places like Bebek and Etiler in Istanbul as well, but I'm also aware of the insignificant population of Turkey living there while the rest can only dream of availing a house there) Even around 18% of Turkish population is beleived to be living under the poverty line. The world isn't perfect, and for those who are familiar with Turkish TV shows, this reality is sad but true, where there is people like Feriha, there are people like Emir Sarafoglu , where there is people like Kuzey Guney with their entire family relying on a Bakery store, there are people like Adnan Bey of Ask-i-memnu. It's as simple as that. As you all know I had a Turkish woman once, and if you have a Turkish woman, it means you'll be familiar with quite a lot of Turkish TV shows For example, posting a photo like this of Turkey will not be fair to the country, because Turkey has a thousand more sides to it, and this is just one of them. http://www.worst-city.com/Slums/images/Little-kid-in-slums-Istanbul-Turkey.jpg When you mention someplace to be the worst place to live in the world, you also need to take account of the individual you are talking to. I am sure Mexico is not the worst place to live in for Carlos Slim Helu the Billionaire and Mumbai of India with all its crowded streets is not the worst place to live in for Mukesh or Anil Ambani with their stair-cases made out of silver. If such was the fact, people like that would definitely all invest in countries like United States and become Green card holders, which by the grace of Almighty I am at liberty of doing any time I wish. According to US Citizenship and Immigration Services investing US $1 million or a mere $5,00,000 would grant permanent residence to any individual in United States, the so called country of the American Dream. But, I prefer using my beautiful green Bangladeshi passport and my life in Bangladesh, because I have a good life MashaAllah and as you yourself mentioned about Bangladesh having one of the largest shopping malls in Asia, naturally built by someone of Bangladeshi origin whose life is far better than mine , so grocery and shopping for my wife shall also not be an issue. You see Aston, I am not at all worried about her compatibility with Bangladesh, since I believe she will be marrying into Bangladesh second, and the world first, as I have mentioned earlier, I am a big time traveler, for example, from this coming April till December, I have scheduled myself to travel to China, Thailand, India, Hong Kong, Dubai, Egypt, Qatar, and France and only one of them is a business trip, the rest are just pleasure. All I'll have to do is make sure my life partner shares this same passion of traveling and I believe I'll be all good to go. And to validate my feelings I have consulted many of my friends specially German, French, and also Turkish and talked about their experience of Bangladesh, the response was very pleasing to me, since they all loved it here, and most of those who works in embassies applied for extensions of their stay. In fact, the Turkish owner of the Istanbul Restaurant, who I am acquainted to, owns a garments factory in Bangladesh and is settled here for good with his family. I also know this French couple who have had the opportunity of working here during their youth and after retirement came back and settled here. These are just stories of few people I know. However, I did not think it relevant to put pictures of slums from my country, when my intentions of coming to this Forum is very different from that of addressing the issues of people living under poverty line in my country and my intention of sharing the link with you was solely showing you the place where I live in, not to manipulate the image of my country. And even if I did it would only be foolish of me to scare someone away with such pictures of my country which actually is not at all my reality. I could've justified your posting of such pictures if I were to start a company which marries Turkish citizens to Bangladeshish, but when I do not live in a slum, a photo of slums is in no way relevant to me. Its like me going to a grand party wearing my pajamas when I have innumerable hand-stitched Zegnas, William Fioravanti, Valentino and Versace suits lying around in my closet and to make matters worse I leave my Ferrari behind and rent a truck to appear all classy for the party I only believe in painting a picture that is true to me, not to others. Having said that, I am sorry if any of the materials above offended you, since you know very well that cannot be my intention, as I also need your prayers throughout my quest of a good wife, be it Turkish, British or Bangladeshi They say "Ignorance is bliss" and that is one luxury I cannot afford, since I believe myself to be quite enlightened about whats going on around the world and my position in it. But, I totally respect your viewpoint and expect this behaviour to reciprocate. Speaking of viewpoints, I would like to end this long boring post with something I have written as my facebook status two days ago. "Living life is but a perception and condition. It could be long if lived in a prison and short if lived around the world, what one makes out of it is solely a matter of decisions rather than circumstances" Take care TaterTot, Abi and Aston. Thank you all for shedding all the light possible upon my situation. You are all priceless and valuable to me. Cheers and Salam.
  3. Hey Aston, I know I have responded to this message of yours earlier. But recently I thought of putting my hobby of photography to some use by representing the area I live in Dhaka, Bangladesh to the world in a forum which mainly is obsessed with the development of all the nations. So, I thought I would share some photos of the area that I live in. Thought you might be interested to see pics of a country which you haven't had the chance to experience from street level. Btw, check out the new Istanbul Restaurant that opened in Dhaka. Now we have our own little Bosphorus bridge Anyways, hope you like the photos Aston. Cheers. http://www.skyscrapercity.com/showthread.php?t=1594908
  4. Hey guys, sorry for the long gap. I was a little preoccupied with some personal stuff. Anyways, it is time again for me to seek your valuable advice :)Well, right now I am a little confused. I met this girl from Istanbul. She was all sweet and cute. In fact, I have known her long before I even started this thread. Now I am a little confused with her behaviour. Initially we started as friends and now just to give you an idea how how we converse once long ago when I told her I want to come to Istanbul and spend as much time as possible with you, she responded by saying, for that you'll have to marry me my dear. Now, that was long ago, after that we talked of marriage and she would talk about kids and moving to Bangladesh, sometimes she would blow me away with her compliments. But then all of a sudden, poof! she is gone for a week, and she wouldn't reply even if I write something. After that, out of the blue she comes back again, and then off again. I just dont get it, if the feelings weren't mutual, she didn't need to compliment me or talk in such intimate manner with me, but she did, and still does, but all of a sudden, something happens, and she becomes invisible, not that she leaves facebook, but stops contacting me. Now, I am just confused and want to know whether this phenomenon that I am experiencing is common among turkish women or is it luck thats not favoring me? :S
  5. Lol, indeed it was a joke, and you two are the best Btw, I didn't get the reply to the most important question yet 1. Am i not considering any factor or not understanding the rates on the websites properly, or are real estate rentals really this reasonable in Istanbul. For example. For 3000 TL per month for a 1+1 apartment in Etiler, apartments are available. Is this correct info?
  6. Hello TaterTot, Thank you so much for providing me suggestions on all the essential things to do before purchasing a propery in Istanbul. Btw, our wonderful Sunny provided me two apartment rental webpages earlier and it was of tremendous help. I found nice little 1+1 apartments in Etiler and places nearby for around 3000 TL per month, some even around 2500 TL, and it is so reasonable that I must say I'm a little surprised, so correct me if I am wrong somewhere, maybe it could be for a week. Does these reflect the actual market at the moment? Dear Sunny, You are one of the best (not the best, because TaterTot might get angry and never give me more info )
  7. I actually understand what you are trying to say, its more of a psychology than anything else, that having a property in a place makes you feel more local and less of a tourist in any country, which is exactly why I shall InshaAllah buy one there, but not just yet, as in I think I should at least look for one for a couple of months before making a decision, and that I can do by renting an apartment. Property or no property, that isn't going to stop me from staying in Turkey from couple of months a year. Btw, would you have any idea of how much would the short - rent would be for a nice studio or 1 bedroom apartment be in Etiler? It'll be nice to have it located close to Bogazici University. That is exactly the reason why I was thinking of getting one for rent initially, and its so much easier to move from one place to another when you rent it out, and the short-term rental, even if its a little more expensive, should not be an issue, i also ask you Sunny, if you can give me an idea of the rent of a nice 1 bedroom apartment in the heart of Etiler.
  8. Yes, InshaAllah I will, specifically in Etiler, that is truly a place I would love to have a crib in, but i figured it'll be most wise of me to not rush into buying a place. Since I'll be staying in Istanbul for a couple of months, might as well take a short term rental apartment and during my stay keep looking for a nice apartment. That way, Ill get a little more time to choose a place to my liking @TaterTot - awaiting reply Sorry, I am making you write so much, in no time you'll become a professional writer if you already aren't one
  9. I would beg to differ, I think not some, but the main issue is that I don't live in Turkey which is why I tend to always look at shortcuts and rushing things which obviously is a very foolish thing to do when it comes to matters this serious Ok then, how long do you suggest I move to Istanbul for? Leaving my business for more than three months in a row would be difficult, maximum I can stay in Istanbul at once is three months, and then of course if needed I can go back to my country for a couple of months and come back again. Maybe I can get myself a short term rental apartment in Istanbul, get a car and feel more at home first. What do you think of this idea?
  10. In that case, I shall be eagerly waiting for your valuable additions. Btw, when you talked about the souse getting together, how will that be possible if I come across a girl I like in a restaurant? I can't ask her where her parents live just like that, following her to her place would make me a stalker, hiring someone to gather her information would make me the head of my own secret intelligence agency Any idea? Because, trust me, there have been incidences where I have met some very religious turkish women working as a cashier in Istanbul, and I went to her restaurant almost everyday, so we started talking and becoming friendly, but ofcourse within her working premises, since my stay was very short. And I found her to be a super decent person, however much I got to know her, and most probably she is a very nice girl, and deep inside I wish I had a wife like her. I do understand, just meeting someone and talking to her for 10 minutes for a few days doesn't make you know the person, but I'm just saying, in cases of this kind, what would be the ideal way of approaching a turkish woman without offending her? Will making my sister involved help? Anyways, I will be looking forward to your replyes TaterTot, and thanks again
  11. Wow, this the first time i heard of fortune tellers match makers But its good to have another option Does every turkish individual know about this? Is it a general thing practiced in turkish society (conservative ones)? or is it becoming a rarity now a days? But, thanks a lot TaterTot for such wonderful advices. By the way, I need a suggestion from you. To be frank, I think I am a fairly down to earth person, not too shy, not too aggressive, and I never faced any difficulty approaching women. I wouldn't consider getting married to any Turkish women, or any other women for that matter, very challenging only if I actually lived in Turkey or had a reason to socialize living in Turkey, since I found most people in Turkey are very nice and approachable. My only problem is not having anything to do with the system itself. For example, only if I work in an office environment in a place, will I get to know people, only if I study in a school, I will get to make school friends, when I enroll myself in a chemistry lab, thats when I'll automatically have a lab partner. I hope you understand what i mean. I am relying in the matchmaking thing, only because I don't reside in Istanbul. So, in that case, I was wondering if this kind of culture persist in Turkey, since cultures can be different in many parts of the world. For example. Suppose I really like this girl at the counter of this store and I want to get to know her more, just suppose , I would think, approaching her just like that is weird, and she might consider it to be very offensive, even if I am a true gentleman with genuine intention of liking her. In that case, is that possible to approach her through a woman, maybe like my mother, aunt, or maybe senior citizen I know approaching her parents showing interest of asking for her hands? It happens in quite a lot of muslim countries I know of, so, i was just curious if Turkey is one of them or not. I know, it might sound weird to a lot of you, but you see, I am not interested in women who are gold diggers, and having no connections whatsoever in turkey makes it difficult for me to even communicate with proper islamic turkish women, and since they are religious, its not like I can start a conversation with them at a club. And me being a religious person doesnt help here either, since I wouldn't prefer dating a lot of girls. So, I am in a difficult position here But, yeah, worst case scenario, I'm gonna open my own little business in Istanbul to create a platform for myself in Istanbul, but thats just worst case scenario, id much rather finish the quest by flying my mother to Istanbul and surprise the girl at the Turkish delight counter by stealing her away for good, who thought she'd be working there for the rest of her life So, lemme know your viewpoint on this guys. And once again, thanks for such great listeners, in this case, readers Cheers and Salam to you all. To be honest, being a 29 years old person who has never been married and without kid, it will always be a preference to marry someone with the same marital status As for the headscarf, very rarely women in my culture wears the scarf , which I am madly in love with :S And I have seen so many women wearing headscarves in Turkey, MashaAllah. It would definitely be a dream come true to have a wife wearing a headscarf MashaAllah. Wonderfully written. I almost felt like I was in one of the events. Thanks a lot for sharing. Now, at least I have some ideas of what I might have to face Btw, didn't know we had such a talented writer in the forum
  12. Great advice!! Ill keep that in mind Btw, that also means i better be nice to you in order to take advantage of your resources
  13. Boy oh boy!! That is going to be my dream come true. I so pray to Allah that it happens, and my wife refuses to cook any other kind of food. Turkish cuisine is my all time favorite, I can literally live off kebabs all my life specially Iskandar kebab! For the MIL part, maybe I'm just saying it because I never experienced one Now, lets wait for someone who has a little more experience with the words Imam and hoca
  14. @TaterTot and SunnyThanks a lot for the explanation Sunny. Its good to know that there are matchmakers in Turkey, I would definitely go talk to my friends regarding the matter this time. Btw, I had no idea of the Imam and hoca being involved in the matchmaking matter. Since, I'm not so aware of how it works in Turkish culture, maybe someone Turkish can explain me how it works. I cant just walk to some Imam in the mosque asking for a bride, right? And when you say teacher, what kind of teacher? I am pretty lost here :)AND OH YEAH!! in matters of that sort, I wouldn't call our cultures similar, I would call it the same I guess in our culture, both Turkish and Bangladeshi, the familiy bondings are so strong, that people don't consider staying for an indefinite period in a relatives house to even be a factor to think about. I guess this trend is all over the world on country sides, because from what I perceived, the metropolitan a city gets, the busier the people of the city gets, and the busier they get, the more privacy and self-oriented people get (I won't call it selfishness, or self-centeredness since Its not a bad thing, but I guess as life become more mechanized, one values their privacy more. But, in general, Bangladesh has the exact same culture of the cost falling totally on the host and guest living indefinitely, so, upon marriage, I'll be more than happy and ready for my in laws to crash in for months by getting a place for myself with at least 4 bedrooms As I mentioned earlier, I truly am a family guy, so don't mind these issues at all, as long as my mother-in-law lets my wife and me to cook my favorite dishes ;P Jokes apart, someone turkish, please save and enlighten me with my questions of how to approach an Imam and hoca, because I don't want them running behind me with a stick upon my asking of THE question Cheers and Salam. Thanks guys for all your support and best wishes
  15. Hey TaterTot, thank you for understanding the point I was trying to make. Yeah, I tend to be quite determined and dedicated to what I set my mind to, and before taking a decision I also put a lot of thought into it. To tell you frankly, I haven't tried anything so far Nothing whatsoever. I did go on one date with a wonderful girl during this trip of mine, and we spent the entire day together, I didn't even meet her on any dating site, since i never tried one but she seemed like a very down to earth person. I couldn't proceed any further, since my trip was very short. And, I did meet some turkish locals, both guys and girls, and discussed about marriage, which they seem to have taken wonderfully. I wasn't surprised when every turkish person responded "As long as both of you are practicing muslim, why not" because after conversing with them, I realized how similar our culture is. I almost find no difference between turkish and bangladeshi cultures, the jealousy and all which is why I never had any problem with my ex. Btw, thanks for bringing up the brilliant idea of Islamic matchmakers, I wondered about this repeatedly, since our cultures are similar, there must be islamic matchmakers in Istanbul like there are in rest of the muslim world. That could make it so much easier. Since, that way I'll be more comfortable to bring the girl's entire family to Bangladesh for a week or two to get them familiar to Bangladesh, it'll be a pretty exotic vacation for them I don't understand Imam or hoca? Who are they? What do they do? Is there any way for me to contact them, maybe I can do that my next trip to Istanbul. Thanks for your ideas TaterTot, truly appreciate it. This could be THE idea! So, let me know, since I haven't yet come to uncover all of the secrets of Turkish societies, there are many things that I don't know of. Hope to hear from you soon. Cheers and Salam.
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