4 replies to this topic

[noname]

l am getting fed up with these e-mail l have been recieving over the past month.lt seems many women want to see me and take me out for a date.Now this really puzzles me,because l have never met them and also l am ugly poor and in need of phycriactric treatment of the worse possible form you can imagine.

"Well"!.l had to do it and sent an e-mail back.Was it a crazy thing to do and will l now be bombarded with hundreds of spam from Africa.l just thought of playing a game with them
Here is the e-mail she has sent and my reply is down the bottom.

Hello
l am Miss Rosemary Birdford, I am 24 yrs old ligth in colour 5ft.4 tall, I would like us to be friends and to know more about each other, share pictures and so on.

If you are interested in knowing more about me and for me to send you some pictures of mine,please get back to me.

My dear,l want you to know that distance,age or colour does not matter in a real relationship.waiting to hear from you soonest.

Thanks,
Miss Rosemary birdford.



Hi,

I am Dr Quack dickhead,but most people call me dickhead.l am a very good looking stunning fine specimen bloke with a shooter to go with my physic.How would you like to spend some wild time on my operating table together.



I am penniless and homeless.l haven’t showered for months because l have no money to buy any soap.

My favourite pass time is picking my nose and farting a lot in public and the feeling of being spaced out with the help of a bottle of whiskey does aid me in forgetting about life.

I am 5ft 2inches tall with little hair on my bonce which makes me feel cold[but that's life].l have size 12 feet similar to a hobbit and hands like sticky pancakes my ma used to make when l was only knee high.

Anyway here is a picture of me taken by a very nice kind police officer while l was crapping on someones rose garden.Please don’t be put off by my appearance since this is only after l had plastic surgery done by a guy in a pub,because l nicked his drink.l am sure the facial features will retun to normal.

Get back to me soon so l can exploit your materialistic world and we can have a lots of fun together pretending to be something were not.

Since color age and race doesn't matter who you exploit and l believe in live and let live then that should give me the right to exploit you as you are trying to do the same to me.Agree Mr Nigerian features

Looking forward to your e-mailDr Quack…ps..if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck,then it is a duck..get my drift

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[Roy]

Good Job nomame, Will be interesting to see if you get a reply

[sunny]

Yes, it will be interesting to see what happens.

[LawMan]

Wow--that's a hallarious e-mail--good darn job!

[noname]

Sad to say,l have not recieved a reply back from my trustworthy companion.This is a real shame because l was beginning to have some fun with this cyber dating lark.l think it had something to do with my buckteeth.l can fully understand,because it would have cost the other half a fortune to get my gnashers rearranged for my new life with the beloved.
"OH Well".l suppose l have to respond to some of my many other admirers that just have the hots for me."Boy",l have never been so popular in all my life.l wonder why l am suddenly so attractive to all these lovely hot females,maybe it is the way l tell them that inspires there natural urges to have the hots for me.