68 replies to this topic

[Agamemnon]

When I first came to this green and pleasant land more years ago than I prefer to account, I had no real intention of staying for more than a year, two at most. Funny how things turn around. Very rarely do I venture back to the motherland and when I do I feel , well like a yabanci.

Perhaps its down to the style of doing things that I have adopted and those little things that you expect over here that you don't seem to get back home. do you know what I mean?

I never used to think of removing my shoes before stepping over the front door in the U.K, here its become second nature, a salad is never complete with olive oil and a freshly squeezed lemon on it, not forgetting a generous spread of olives.

whenever I shop I use it as a chance to practice my Turkish, invariably the reciever is not always sure what I said but I do persist, especially when the plumber calls to fix the toilet.

On a scale of 1 to 10 I think I must be a 6.5 coz my Turkish is not as good as it could be, but otherwise I try to "fit" in as much as possible, I know I drive like a Turk, that causes problems back in the U.K. what about you, just how Turkified do you think you have become and do you like the changes it has made to your life?

[RememberMeAlanya]

Yes certainly, I recognize a lot of your story
When I am home, I can't relax, the people irritate me, the noises, always stressed people.
Everything has to be done 'yesterday'.
I am always very very happy the moment my feet are touching the Turkish ground again.
Yes, driving a car, I am very Turkified
I am more relaxed then before, I love this country and his people
The only negative thing is making an appointment with somebody: today at 16.00 can be easily tomorrow at 16.00
But we get used to it.

Regards,

Gert

[dande]

Good question Agamemnon. We notice a number of changes when we return to the UK once a year to see our family.

1. As you say, it becomes second nature to take off our shoes when we enter a house

2. I (David), after shaking hands with male members of the family and friends, become soooo close to kissing them on both cheeks. Not a good idea!

3. Much to great amusement in the UK, if I am ever asked to remove an electric plug, I use my other hand to hold the socket in place. So many times, here in Turkey, the socket comes away from the wall with the plug!

But we wouldn’t change a thing. We have lived here for just over 12 years, but it was only about five years ago that, when in England, we referred to going back ‘home’ to Turkey. It really is ‘home’ now.

[benhalterci]

Dande, I can so identify with 1 and 3!!) I lived in Russia for years and years and because winter lasts forever and the ground gets so dirty and muddy underfoot people always have an area for taking off shoes. Maybe things are different in Istanbul because some people do it there but plenty don't.
3 really amused me. I thought it was only my antique house that warranted such cautious behaviour:))
In common with everyone here I love TR and its people but am not a Turkophile. There are so many things I miss about Europe - classical music concerts in Germany, Italian shopping...Italian food...etc:) Nice that my few good Turkish friends all love those things too:)
My elderly mum is all I have and so the UK is home for me really. Also being from a Holocaust family I've learned not to get too attached to anywhere or trust it too much because one never knows what will happen in future. Regarding the political future of Turkey.....we all hope for the best but one has to be prepared for the worst as nothing is guaranteed.

[Sparkle16]

Judging from these posts, I am going to do very well when I move to Istanbul, I already have the habit of taking off my shoes when I enter anyone's home (my mother is a cleanaholic) and kissing on both cheeks is very French Canadian, picked it up from the French years ago so used to doing that too. I am ready to go!!

This is a good topic!

[sunny]

I can relate to all that has been said by previous posters. I too call Turkey 'home' and hold the socket while removing a plug.
It's second nature to pump drinking water out of 20L bidons and I find that tap water in the UK tastes of chemicals.
Washing dries quickly most of the year and being able to sit out on the terrace most of the year is a delight.
Visiting the ING bank here in Cesme is pleasant with no high security and the cashiers know me so if I forget my bank book it's not a problem. You can also drop in the manager's office and have a glass of tea.
Being able to organise a BBQ with out the 'If it's fine' qualifier is wonderful, and no problems when you have visiters, just take them down to the beach or out on the boat (wouldn't be able to afford one in the UK).
Having fresh food from the garden is fantastic. We are now eating courgettes, aubergines and peppers. The erik are nearly finished as are the apricots but there seem to be plenty of pears, apples, grapes and peaches coming. We may also have some pomegranates. this year. I've wandered off topic, (so what?) blame living here.
I will never become very Turkish, perhaps I was too old when I came here, but I'd hate to go back to live in the UK.

[Lucid]

here i can actually meet my hubbies boss - the bank manager ( actually a she) i can make her jewellery bribe her (joke) and chat in both english and turkish and put a good word in for my flawless (lie) husband... now where can u support your spouse like that in UK.....dont make me larf
here is home for sure. thats where the smelly socks are my husband says......??? der doesnt he mean thats were the heart is....oh the humour can be lost sometimes.....or maybe i translated it wrong....or just his bad humour
more than smelly socks
oh enough

[Ken]

Excellent topic, Agamemnon!

When I first came to this green and pleasant land more years ago than I prefer to account, I had no real intention of staying for more than a year, two at most. Funny how things turn around. Very rarely do I venture back to the motherland and when I do I feel , well like a yabanci.

Well, that's what happened to me. I came to Izmir with NATO in 1998, and when it was time to leave the military, I just couldn't leave Turkey. Every other country I've been too, well, I was rather glad to leave and go somewhere else. But Turkey was different. I ended up getting a job as a contractor here, and during that time I started Turkey Central.

There are quite a few things I've seen about Turkish culture which I wish we had more of in the US. Strangely enough, as different as we allegedly are, I find Turks and Turkey to be more like Americans and the USA than most Europeans, actually!

Wearing slippers in the house instead of the shoes you wear outside makes a lot of sense. Also there is a lot more emphasis on friendship and family, and most definitely the practice of hospitality. I think that has impressed me the most, and I try to be this way as well, even when I'm home. I've learned a lot of good things from the Turks, especially the value of friendship and relationships with other people. And me too... at times I feel myself out of place when I go back to the USA.

Oh, I almost forgot! one of my favorites... balconies on apartment buildings are often very plentiful here I've never lived in a place where my bedroom had a balcony, but many of the places I've lived in Turkey had one. It's great!

[benhalterci]

I'm surprised Agememnon rarely goes back. Are all his relatives dead? I like to spend time with my mother when I still can. I miss Istanbul because I'm training there now and there isn't a decent gym within miles of my UK house. There are a lot of things in the UK which I took for granted and you only realise these things when you are living abroad.

[Agamemnon]

Thats right Ben, my parents died about 12 years ago, so the emotional draw is not there anymore. I do find when I go back to see the people I grew up and went to school with and even worked with are no longer on the same wavelength and see their lives so differently from mine. Some are resentful that I never got bogged down with kids and did not stay back in the U.K with all that lovely cool weather.

One of the many positive aspects of been more like a Turk is that concept of the afternnon nap. when the heat is on, it just makes perfect sense to find a quiet shady spot and doze for an hour or two, sheer bliss! Don't you think?

Now I have noticed like so many of the locals I travel around on my motorbike without proper head protection, just a cap to keep the sun off. the local law enforcement does seem to have more important things to do, afternoon naps I think!

[Abi]

I too can relate to what is said in most of the posts.

I have also found out that WW3 breaks out if there is no bread for the evening meal, not my problem though now that we don't live near any shops, that's hubbies job.

Also it never ceases to amaze me how many people that can sqeeze into a car, it is beyond belief sometimes

[Bushman]

Mine works the other way around...

Recently walked into a Pub in the UK just sat down and started reading my newspaper expecting a waiter to come over and serve me a beer.

Got a lot of "black looks" from the bar man

[sunny]

The same would happen if you wanted petrol in the UK - no one to dash out to fill your tank and clean your windows!

[Yazz]

When I returned to The Netherlands after 6 months of living in Alanya I, like most of the other posters, drove like a madman, whenever I saw a pedestrian my hooter would do overtime. But I felt seriously depressed because I missed the weather (yeah, I returned in November, how foolish) and I missed the non-stop activities of the evenings. In Holland, when you go out after 6 or 7 in the evening, there is no life. Trying to find something to eat after 11 pm or, God forbid, do grocery shoppings: impossible!

[Debbie]

.......That's so true Yazz.......... although we don't actually live in Turkey at the moment (well not until sept) it's one of the things that we miss here in UK....... Hubby especially, when he first came over to Uk about 3 yrs ago he couldn't understand why no shops were open past 5pm, everywhere was dead, like you say no activities at all.........

It becomes quite depressing when the only time you seem to get out of the house is to go to work, Hubby hates staying in doors and when I'm at work and he's on days or on a Saturday he goes into our local town (couple of miles away) and just walks around........... I've actually had friends comment about the fact that they see him walking around all the time, but said in way that he must be up to no good........

I think we will both feel a lot happier when we move back over, before after work we always used to have a walk around on an evening, everywhere was bustling and lots of people to stop and have a chat to, it did mean sometimes we were out quite late so didn't always get much sleep when having to get up for work next morning but we used to say it was 'our time' far more healthier to have some quality time outside then sat in front of the TV.........

[benhalterci]

My marriage broke up because I brought my foreign husband home. He sat here up to no good (hard drugs) - little did I know - only found out a £1,500 BT bill came - he'd been ringing his friends back home - and I sent packing when he'd cleaned out the rest of my bank account! I was working at that time and came home to find him skulking around. These kind of mixed marriages never work, especially when the husband (as mine was )is much younger. That's my cheery thought for the day, people!
Debbie, glad to see you online today. Hope things are going better.

[Debbie]

Hi benh

Yes thanks I'm ok now, it's just been so stressful for me as late, and Hubby hasn't helped, he's been stressing me out for best part of the yr about wanting to move over there and then the next min (when house is finally sold) deciding maybe it would be good idea to stay a little longer to try and save some more money.....Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Anyway were definitely going Sept...

Sorry things didn't work out for you, I suppose I can be grateful that Hubby has never delved into drugs (and doesn't understand why anyone would want to) and he doesn't drink really, if we go out he may have one Cider then the rest of the time it's cola............I'm also totally on the ball where money is concerned, I handle his wages as well as mine.......... to be honest I haven't had any worries there with him.......... he's just lacks the ability to accept responsibility for some things, sometimes it's like looking after a kid again, he can be very immature sometimes, but that's his only negative..........

[benhalterci]

Debbie, yes..late September probably best to try and avoid the worst of the heat. I wouldn't like to be a mummy again in my middle age but if you can put up with it, good luck to you:)
About flights; I booked my flight back for August 2nd (I booked it a while ago) and it was nearly twice as much as off-peak times. You might want to wait until the school holidays or over or else ask the airline when their off-peak fares start as it makes a lot of difference. I don't think Turkish Airlines are off-season until about October and I can't wait that long as I've already been here for ages.

[Yazz]

I don't think Turkish Airlines are off-season until about October and I can't wait that long as I've already been here for ages.

As long as you book in advance I find Turkish Airlines to be relatively cheap compared to other airlines.

[benhalterci]

Yazz, yes you are right but I booked months ahead for my August flight and it didn't make any difference since that is the PEAK season.