8 replies to this topic

[lovelove]

I don't mean anything racial but I've dated about a dozen different nationalities and have very little luck in continuing a fulfilling relationship, and are very hard to deal with. Also these men were 20 - 25 years old and I hated that they were not stable, I'm 18 years old with a stable job as a marketing coordinator and doing night school at the same time, they're not even half as focused as I am. so I am very pleased with myself obviously but I need some inspiration...and I found it an a 30 year old turkish man..I acted as if I were dating a 20-25 year old man british, brazilian, american FYI). how else should I have acted? and how is here different from a few of these other nationalities I have been with?

I met Yakup (from Adana, I dont know why that matters but I pretty much have a thing for provincial boys since I'm a city girl (Abu Dhabi, UAE) and I don't like city boys.) in women's exhibition (we were both exhibitors), it was a bit rude what he was doing for about a couple of days - which was staring intently every 5 seconds until I actually came up to him and bought an anklet he gave me a discount and winked at me. Hours later I went outside and found him there smoking as I was about to do, he was on the phone but immediately went up to me and asked if I needed a light which I did. He hurried down the phone and stood there next to me...he asked how was my business which wasn't doing good - yabber yabber yabber..we sat down and he immediately asked me out to Dubai which was an hour away from where we were Al Ain (2 hours away from abu dhabi) but it wasnt possible to bring me back the same night because it was already 12, he offered a room in his house but promised that he will not step into it once I'm in...I thought about it really hard and said why won't HE stay instead, I'm in a hotel and he could get a room from there he said yes and was excited about it but then the hotel was fully booked as it was a weekend so we went on back to our jobs, he offered to drop me but i didn't know the area so i preferred to take a cab...

next day he asked me about it again and i said that i think its too soon for that, he frowned in confusion and said "i don't know what you're talking about" i laughed in embarrasment "uhmm... I barely know you" "why do you think I'm asking you out?" he said. then we continued texting all day but I was still trying to be a cool 18 year old girl, i repeat TRYING. I'm a dork I'm usually funny but when it comes to 20-25 british, american or brazilian men there's really no other way to be.

So i guess my question is, should I have gone? i know its too late now since he was pissed at me at the last day and i didn't do much to change his mind about it. but I think I'm gonna go for 30 year old men better or are they not so different from each other after all.

[Abi]

If I were you I would be paying more attention to my job and studies. If you are only 18 I can't understand what you are doing going around, alone, with this man in the first place.

[lovelove]

If I were you I would be paying more attention to my job and studies. If you are only 18 I can't understand what you are doing going around, alone, with this man in the first place.

I was at work, we were in an exhibition for women (i, in photography and him a seller in a jewellery store). i wasn't going around with him all alone, we just happened to catch each other's eyes..

[sunny]

I think that you need to be very careful, it doesn't matter what nationality he is, but you need to stop flirting with him because it will make him think you are cheap and he may act accordingly. It is very likely that a 30 man is married with children and as he is away from home he is having a bit of fun. Don't get involved.

[lovelove]

but i actually really...like him.

I think that you need to be very careful, it doesn't matter what nationality he is, but you need to stop flirting with him because it will make him think you are cheap and he may act accordingly. It is very likely that a 30 man is married with children and as he is away from home he is having a bit of fun. Don't get involved.

If I were you I would be paying more attention to my job and studies. If you are only 18 I can't understand what you are doing going around, alone, with this man in the first place.

and in my defense, I'm a woman, and i'd really hate the thought of throwing myself out there more and being bitten by these scavengers, I'd really just like to settle with someone who doesn't act like a child ALL THE TIME. someone who knows what he wants, as i sometimes am confused. what I mean about inspiration is for someone to look up to other than my parents, like "oh he's finally getting his dream...I should probably work on getting mine", I want to find someone that i could introduce to my parents that they will not frown at because the visibility of that person's immaturity. I want someone who has marriage in mind, it could be easily any nationality in the world but for now since he's there why not try aye?

I appreciate both of your concerns because when i read your answers, i reread my post and I made it seem more like a pedophiliac scene rather than the beautiful feeling it was at the moment.

thanks.

[sunny]

It may be a beautiful feeling at the moment but as I said before, it would be VERY unusual for a 30 year old Turkish man not to be married with a family and even if he said he wasn't I'd want to see his identity card (kimlik) which on the reverse side, top left corner it will say bekar if he is single and evli if he's married. Many men given the opportunity to be with an attractive young woman would be very tempted to play away from home.
Also, think how you would feel if you were married to a man who was interested in other women.
Do not dismiss culture when it comes to relationships as there are many things in different cultures that people find hard to accept on a day to day basis.
If you want to learn more about Turkish culture there is a thread called 'What makes a marriage to a Turk work?'

[lovelove]

thanks for that, I sure hope he brought that ID with him. how true is this thing that a friend of mine said when she went to visit turkey with her then boyfriend, they went to a resort were a couple of retired ladies were staying at, they mentioned that "when a turkish man loves you, they will ONLY love you. when a turkish man doesn't like you, they will never like you" they also mentioned that they're very into themselves and would never make the first move on a woman no matter what, WE must come to them.

[sunny]

To be honest Turkish men, especially in resorts, can be all over you like a rash. They are very experienced at chatting up women and have all sorts of chat up lines, like, I can't live without you, your eyes are pools that I'd like to drown in, I love you (after knowing them for 5 minutes) etc.

"when a turkish man loves you, they will ONLY love you. when a turkish man doesn't like you, they will never like you"
A strange thing to say. Men are men and I don't expect that Turkish men are much different to men all over the world in some respects.

[aine]

Turkish men wait for the woman to make the first move. İs this a serious post or a joke or has the writer never been to Turkey?

All men from the Mediterranean region adhere to the '' He who heistates is lost '' ''Faint heart never won fair lady'' or even the good old ''İn like Flynn'' courtship tecniques. The hone in like an exocet,

İf he's behaving in a shy manner he's using a new tactic or he's gay.