5 replies to this topic

[Abi]

We usually read posts on our forum that have been made by foreign woman who are in a relationship or married to Turks and are having problems.

The article that is linked below was titled "Anger punishes itself" and I was suprised when I read it that it was to do with a failed relationship between a Turkish woman and her Turkish husband. I thought it made interesting reading.

...................“Dear Charlotte: When I was 20 I returned to Turkey and within the first year I was here I married a Turkish man I had met. We have two sons. We were married for 10 years and then divorced. We only lived together for about four years. I did not realize until after having been married for about three years or so that I had made a grave mistake. Though we were both Turks we were as different as night and day......

http://www.todayszaman.com/news-271093-anger-punishes-itself.html

[Reyhan]

Very insightful article. Im glad to read the lady has recovered and is living a good life now. After an experience like her's, I would not blame her for never wanting to marry again. Im glad it seems she feels she does not need a husband to support her.

Though it seems to me that article title is really justified by the one commenter. It was a man who got so angry once and could not control the urge to kick the bench but so forceful that he ended up with a severe toe injury. And it ended up costing him $2800 + owed to the hospital , and embarrassment if he tells how he got injured, and that the toe will never heal correctly again.

[Fil]

The author of the article wrote:
'I have noticed that Turks do tend to shift the blame when something goes wrong.'
There is a constant flow of articles in the English edition of Zaman that attribute all of the vices of the world to Turks in general and Turkish men in particular. How fortunate that there are so many virtuous westerners around to put them right.
I am sick of reading stories where someone has made a life choice that turned out wrong and then blames it on someone else's Turkishness.
It would be truer to say: 'I have noticed that people do tend to shift the blame when something goes wrong.'

[Vic801]

I can't read the articles from that particular "writer". Badly written and holier-than-thou.

[sunny]

I felt that the article was incomplete. She quoted

David W. Augsberger

but then did not go on to tell how he suggests we defuse the situations.


Don't ask me why the line have separated, it wasn't me it was my laptop!

[Lizaliza]

I must be having a soppy day, because I didn't quite understand what point the reader was trying to put across The only thing she did make clear, albeit unintentionally, was that as she and her husband were brought up in different countries - they had very different outlooks on life. But that's to be expected. People are a product of their environment and how they've been nurtured - everyone realises that. So I think I'm missing something in this letter!

I'm also confused at the author's reply to her. I couldn't really see any connection between her response and the reader's letter? Unless she was trying to say how revenge is pointless, and how the reader took the correct action when her husband abducted her children? I certainly don't think a life of singledom, albeit one with a good career, is compensation for being deprived of bringing your children up and watching them grow from babies into young men!!

Her husband stole her children from her and deprived - not just her - of years and years of being a mother- but he also deprived his sons' of their mother's love and nurturing!

Most women would feel much more than a little revengeful over such a callous, cruel, heartbreaking act! So for the author to talk about how it's commendable to more or less 'let bygones be bygones' shows she lacks total insight into the invisible bond between a mother and child.

L x