74 replies to this topic

[Louisemarie]

I thought I would share my experience of my introduction to "Turkish Life". I have been with my partner for nearly two years - we met in the UK and have lived together for over a year........unfortunately red tape etc meant he had to return to Turkey and we planned that I would go 3 weeks later and although we felt we had been pushed into it.....decided we would get married in Turkey.

Having been to Turkey 3 times on holiday (in the days when I was young (well younger), free and single I was fully confident that I knew what to expect..................I couldnt have been more wrong!!!!

I arrived in Istanbul airport at lunchtime - tourist visa sorted, passport checked, bags collected - by this time I had been awake for 36 hours but the excitement of being reunited cancelled any tiredness. Got ino arrivals and Mete was waiting for me - I rushed through to him and ran up to cuddle him, this was obviously frowned upon because in return I got the double cheek kiss which is normally reserved for friends and family. We sat down for coffee and I was told not to look at anyone or smile at men in case they thought I was flirting.......I thought this was a joke but was too tired to disagree. Eventually arrived at the soon to be in laws at around 7pm and sat down for dinner....when I say dnner I actually mean a feast havent seen that much food on one table in years.......so dinner over we sat in the lounge to watch TV......doorbell goes and in come the neighbours with their kids and out comes......more food and turkish tea - Mete said if I didnt eat it would be rude.....so I duefully ate the pastries and drank the tea......by this time not only wwas I stuffed but also knackered and just wanted a bit of alone time with Mete. I sat there thinking that the neighbours wouldnt stay long and tried to look as interested as possible. Wrong again - more food arrived - this time individual plates of fruit (no chance to even pretend I had eaten some).......after the fruit came the nuts and chocolates and a glass of some turkish fruit wine..........(now feeling decidedly sick!!!!!) The neighbours eventually left at 1am and we went to bed......NOTE TO SELF.......when eating dinner - eat only a small amount as after dinner the food factory line starts!!!!!

Next Adventure - Termal and Turkish Bath

We went with the in laws (we got married by now). I went in with Metes mum who speaks no english and my turkish is limited to hello, how are you etc. So we got undressed, changed into swimwear wore our delightful plastic flip flops and went into the ladies baths. Having never been in one I didnt know what to expect but was quite excited to find out. Sat down and Metes mum started tipping bowls of scalding hot water on me (I thought she liked me!!!!) Next thing to do was have a bit of a swim - again in scalding hot water (now I know how a lobster feels being boiled alive)......finally a lady came in to take me for skin peeling and soap massage. Metes mum told her I was Yabanci......BIG MISTAKE....everyone else was Turkish. So I had my skin peeled off - it wasnt particularly pleasant sensation but the thought of soft fresh skin kept me going. Relief - its over - now for my lovely massage........did I say lovely massage? I meant to say being beaten and pummeled by a sumo wrestler.....seriously wasnt expecting it to hurt or for my limbs to be twisted round as if they belonged to Barbie. Anyway, got dressed, went for yet more tea and headed home. Later that night Mete put his arm round me and I flinched...by now my back was very sore, we lifted up my top and my back was covered in bruises....even the in laws were shocked at how rough she must have been. At this stage I would just like to point out that I am not a fragile waif like woman but a very curvy size 18. Somehow I dont think I will be making a return visit...if I do I will make sure I learn to say " that bloody hurst - please stop"!!!!

I have so many more funny things about when I was there - the Turkey incident and the circumsion spring to mind but I seem to have waffled on quite a lot.

[sunny]

Thank you for sharing your experiences with us LM. They are soooo typical, especially the food, more food and more food

Please keep them coming.

[Vic801]

Yes, loved that!! More, please!!
I know what you mean about the massage, I haven't been back since my first time, 3 years ago!

[Louisemarie]

So glad I am not alone about the food and the massage!!!

I think my funniest experience by far was the turkey incident.

As I said Mete and I live together in the UK and spent christmas 2010 in england with a traditional christmas including full Turkey dinner. At home in the Uk I cook quite a lot of Turkish food (including baklava and helva) for Mete and his family wanted to make christmas special for me in Turkey. Friday before christmas Mete goes out to Mosque with his dad and says to me - we are going to collect the turkey - see you in an hour. I stayed with his mum - managing to communicate with google translate and drinking turkish coffee and smoking. Mete comes rushing in and says quick come and see - we have the turkey......its in the car. Now everyone else is in a state of excitement and rushing about....personally I cant understand what all the fuss is about - as far as I am concerned - bring the turkey in and put it in the fridge. Anyway - out I go...by this time the neighbours are there as well.....mete opens the boot of the car and there it is......A LIVE TURKEY!!!!!!! Mete is translating his dads words to me and I sort of understood that it was in my honour they would slaughter it..........luckily I am not squeamish and to me a turkey is just for food so I stood there watching while it was slaughtered and plucked. By now I wasnt really looking forward to christmas dinner. Metes mum asked my how I cooked christmas turkey and she said she would roast it exactly like that.

Christmas dinner was different to say the least - it was sort of what I would have on boxing day - sliced turkey, salad and chips. But I can honestly say that it was the most tasteless tough meat I have ever had........am guessing I'm not used to very fresh meat. Anyway I am going back there in two weeks and his dad wants to know if I like goat.........my answer........I have turned into a vegetarian!!!!

[Reyhan]

Can you buy live turkey birds in Turkiye? I am not even sure if we can do that in the US.

Great story Louise. I love how this gives me a sense of just how traditional and rustic life can be for Turks. Is this an accurate description? Most American mothers could not fathom having to start preparing the meal from living livestock. Thats like bringing the cow home when you just want some steaks.

Still, that said, I would love the chance to see and experience the real traditional Turkish life style, from the music to the foods. I think how different it is from the way I am used to living would be both comforting and enlightening.

[Vic801]

Our neighbours in the village came running up to our house, hammering on the door shouting that there was pig-meat going free. At the idea of a nice pork chop we scurrried down the lane after them, over fields and streams until we found a huge (really huge), hairy, long-tusked wild boar, not quite dead and still pumping out blood all over the place. Needless to say, we thanked our neighbours for their kind thought but declined the offer firmly.

[Louisemarie]

Staying with a turkish family is so different from anythingI have ever experienced before. My father is Italian and we spent a month in Italy with family in a small village every year but it was nothing compared to family life in Turkey.

Reyhan I dont know how accurate this is in general, it was just my experience.....my husbands family do live in a village but Yalova is a city where they originally lived (its about 10k away from them) is quite cosmopolitan and in general my husbands family are what I would call "westernised".

Vic - I would have given the hairy boar a miss as well......in fact these days I rarely eat pork - mainly coz its easier to cook something both of us can eat than two different meals.

The food is great over there....just too much of it, too many times in a day. I love the music...apart from the hollering stuff - it seems to go on forever. My favourite thing tho is their sense of family values - its wonderful to see my husband who is 32 and his sister of 25 be so loving and respectful to their parents and each other....its not something we see over here very often.

Apparently when I go in two weeks it will be as a family member and not as a guest and my husband has told his mum I am a wonderful cook so she is expecting me to cook dinner a few times - needless to say there wont be anything freshly slaughtered on the menu ........not sure how they will like english food tho - am guessing they will think its very bland.......my cunning plan is concentrate on desserts because thats what they eat the most of .......I bet dentists in Turkey do a roaring trade!!!!

[Lizaliza]

Hi LousieMaria, welcome! Soooo typical of village life and Turkish hospitality! I know so many people who, like yourself, were surprised when they first went to stay with their in-laws in villages etc, but you soon get accustomed to their ways! You mentioned about smoking out there - were they OK with you about that? I know some very traditional families frown upon women smoking, although not all of them do, of course!

L x

Can you buy live turkey birds in Turkiye? I am not even sure if we can do that in the US.

Great story Louise. I love how this gives me a sense of just how traditional and rustic life can be for Turks. Is this an accurate description? Most American mothers could not fathom having to start preparing the meal from living livestock. Thats like bringing the cow home when you just want some steaks.

Still, that said, I would love the chance to see and experience the real traditional Turkish life style, from the music to the foods. I think how different it is from the way I am used to living would be both comforting and enlightening.

Hi Reyhan, you can buy live turkeys/chickens etc in some of the local markets. You'll find it's usually the villagers who prefer to slaughter the animals themselves; people who live in large towns or cities, usually shop in supermarkets - the same as we have in the States and the UK!

L x

[Cukurbagli]

Occasionally I get a phone call (usually in the small hours of a Sunday morning) asking if I want a wild boar. I've had two of them so far but had to sling them over the footwell of my scooter and take them home whole and then butcher them later. Sometimes I've gone to see and it's turned out to be nearly as big as a small car. The meat should really be hung for a week at least but you can't do that here because of the flies so I keep it in the freezer for three months and it has the desired effect.

Reyhan, slaughtering animals for food is just one of the normal occurrences of village life here, it doesn't happen every day because villagers don't eat meat as often as townfolk but most would prefer not to eat supermarket meat. In fact they seem very distrustful of anything packaged off a supermarket shelf, I got told off for buying frozen peas last week by my neighbour.

[sunny]

Even on Cesme's Alacati market, which is now considered the 'in' place for Turkey's elite to take their holiday, live poultry is for sale,although I think most people go for 'oven ready' from the supermarkets.

I'm surprised that you smoked in front of you MiL Louisemarie as it's usually considered disrespectful.
If you plan to make desserts I would check that you can get the ingredients over here before you come as you might want/need to bring some things from the UK with you.

[Louisemarie]

Sunny - my mother in law smokes so was happy to have someone to sit and enjoy a cigarette with - I think its the only time she sits down and manages to get out of the kitchen.

Do you know if I can bring dairy stuff to Turkey?

[sunny]

Such as? If you wrap things up well (in case of leaks) and stuff them in your hold luggage you shouldn't have a problem.

[Louisemarie]

well I really wanted to make tiramisu - so was hoping I could bring mascapone cheese in with me - not sure if I can find double cream either.....might need to have a rethink!!!!

Mete wanted me to bring some fillet steaks - I really dont think this is a clever idea - especially as I always get stopped at customs!!!!

[sunny]

Mmmm, yes you would need to bring most of the ingredients to be sure. Would they be OK with something with alcohol in it?
You can get UHT cream here sometimes and in some places but sometimes you can beat it but other times it remains watery!

If you get the steaks vacuum packed you should be OK. That's what I do.

[Ahududu]

Bring some custard powder over, and make a trifle!!!

[Louisemarie]

yea they are fine with alcohol - I think I am actually very lucky with Metes family - they drink, they smoke, they dont expect me to cover up etc......but obviously....they do expect me to........WEAR BLOODY SLIPPERS!!!!

I might go to local butcher and get some steaks vac packed, think will give the tiramisu a miss and just make a bloody pie and top it with custard ( thanks for the idea Sue).

[sunny]

You must have been reading my mind after I posted Sue.

[Vic801]

Why do you bring steaks from the UK?

[Louisemarie]

Hmmmm not sure about why he wants steaks but he did say he didnt like the steak they had last week (I told him he is turning english - he also wants me to bring tetley tea bags - so time for another adventure..........THE CIRCUMCISION

The neighbours have a small baby who had trouble with his waterworks - the parents were advised to have him circumcised straight away as this would help. Now I am not sure if I am saying this right but they asked mete to be the Kive 9i think it must be akin to godparent).......Mete was delighted - as were the whole family because it would be yet another experience for the Yabanci.....Mete spent a whole day telling me what to expect - he also told me we had to mix the babies wee with rice and eat it......I am NOT THAT GULLIBLE tho. Off we trot on a family outing to the clinic, local anaesthetic done, baby on table, dad holding arms, Mtee holding legs, mum on the side, two doctors and me.......holding a bloody video camera (i really thought this was a wind up).......luckily I am not squeamish.......so the op is progressing, everyone is chatting and baby seems pain free........mete gets quieter and quieter (he normally doesnt shut up)....then I hear this little quiet voice say to me in English - hold this babys legs now I am gonna be sick......I turned round and he was ghostly white and sweating.......so I held the babies legs whilst they finished up - The doctor made mete sit down in the waiting room coz he looked like he was gonna collapse.........the rest of the day was obviously spent ridiculing him and watching and re watching with the volume turned up loud - not the circumcision but the ghostly face and english words of poor mete.

[sunny]

Poor Mete! Isn't it funny how men often seem to be more squeamish than women?
Mr Sunny is better now but in our early days he needed stitches for a cut so we went along to the clinic and the nurse cleaned the area and the doctor approached with the needle to give Mr S a local anaesthetic. When Mr S. saw the needle his face went white and his knees buckled and he had to lie down. I'm afraid I laughed and so did he later, sort of sheepishly.