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Im English & Married A Turkish Man In Turkey.how Do I Divorce?


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#1 ayse23

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Posted 15 November 2011 - 11:08 AM

Hi Everyone,Im looking for your advice on where to start a Divorce.Im english and living in the uk, Married a turkish Man , in Turkey 4 years ago.Hes never been to UK. And never applied for any visa to come.I lived over there, on and off over the last 5yearsWe dont have any house or children. We lived in a rented apartment. The only thing i paid for was the furniture.He worked and paid the rent and bills.I cant handle his nasty mouth anymore.and wish to file for a divorce.How do i go about it? Its not safe for me to return to turkey. i will need to do all i can here in the uk. and the cheapest way possible as ive got no funds/savings.Ive got the red wedding book with me. I keep reading different stories and feel like im going round in circles.Do i need a divorce? im confussedI want to end all contacts with him, as hes starting to bully me and make threats... the only reason i havent changed my phone number is because i will need him sort the divorce. but if i dont need a divorce here in the uk. i block him from all contacts to get to me.please help me and put my mind at easethank you Ayse

#2 Meral

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Posted 15 November 2011 - 01:19 PM

Hi Ayse, welcome to our forum Posted Image . Sorry to hear of your troubles with Turkish hubby. I'm not an expert on these things but I think if your marriage isn't registered in the UK you may not need a divorce there, and would theoretically be free to marry someone else in the UK (or elsewhere, but not TR) in the future. A divorce would be in his best interests rather than yours, as he may want to marry again at some stage, so you would have some leverage there. You shouldn't have to put up with his bully-boy tactics.

Hopefully someone with more knowledge (like Sirin) will come along soon and help you out. Best of luck ! :)
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#3 ayse23

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Posted 15 November 2011 - 05:39 PM

Many thanks for your reply :-)I keep hearing different stories. so not sure wot is right.If i dont need a divorce here and he carrys on with his threats, then he will learn the hard way.when i change my number and email address.He never learns,im fed up with hearing sorry after sorry.Looks like he will have to learn the hard way.Ayse

#4 Abi

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Posted 15 November 2011 - 05:42 PM

Hi Ayse and welcome to our forum but sorry to hear of your circumstances. Although your marriage is not registered in the UK you are considered to be legally married under British Law. So yes you should apply to the British courts for a divorce and glad to hear that you have the Turkish marriage book. I suggest that as you say that you have little money you contact the Citizens Advice Bureau and ask them if you are able to apply for Legal Aid.Getting divorced is complicated and will tell you that although you can get a divorce in the UK you will still be married in the eyes of Turkish Law. It won't be a problem for you unless you decide to marriage another Turk in the UK or marry anyone of any nationality in Turkey in the future,Sooo whilst you will divorced in the UK your husband will still be legally married to you in Turkey unless you forward copies of the divorce to him in Turkey. Your then ex husband will have to apply to the Turkish courts to have the British divorce recognised in Turkey if he want's to remarry in Turkey.Hope that helps :)

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#5 aine

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Posted 15 November 2011 - 06:30 PM

İf you look at your marriage book it says international marriage book and this means that all countries who signed the treaty recognise your marriage and yes UK is one of the treaty signatures.

#6 ayse23

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Posted 16 November 2011 - 03:08 PM

So why are some people saying its not classed as marriage here in the uk?? What is the best and cheapest way to go about it. Ive never declared it here in the uk, never changed my name on anything.In the uk or turkey... i always class myself as single, because of no name change and my husband never coming to the uk. OOOoooop's this could get me in some trouble now, i guess. !!I want it over asap so i can move on with my life Ayse

#7 Abi

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 01:51 PM

Well I don't know who the people are that are telling you that you aren't classed at married in the UK but who ever they are they are 100% wrong. If you want confirmation I suggest you contact the British Consulate in Istanbul or seek advise from a British lawyer.As I suggested in an earlier post you should go to your nearest Citizen's Advise Bureau and ask them if you are entitled to legal aid for a divorce and the best way to proceed..

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson


#8 Meral

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 05:04 PM

Abi, Ayse may have taken my thoughts (post #2 above) as gospel, although I only said if it wasn't registered in the UK, and that I wasn't an expert. (Don't know if she got similar info from elsewhere).

Ayse, I'm sorry if I misled you (or further confused you). Abi is far more likely than me to be correct in this matter. If you want to proceed with a divorce in the UK, your marriage would, of course be recognized there.
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#9 Abi

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Posted 17 November 2011 - 06:02 PM

Meral not a problem and is a tad confusing. If a Turkish Civil wedding is conducted in accordance with Turkish law it is legal and doesn't have to be registered at the British Consulate. You can actually have the marriage registered at the BC but as it's not a legal requirement you have to pay extra for it to be done. However, should a Turkish/British marriage fail at some point in the future and had it been registered at the BC it does make life easier if the British person doesn't have the red marriage book or copies.I think the confusion comes about when a Turkish/British marriage fails.Should the divorce takes place in the UK the person would need to show the red wedding book to prove the marriage was legal and took place in Turkey, the divorce can then go ahead as per British Law. However, even though the divorce goes through in the UK under Turkish Law they are still married unless the British divorce papers are presented to a Turkish Court of Law to be recognised. In some cases a divorce case is also started in Turkey rather than getting the British divorced recognised.Should the divorce take place in Turkey the Turkish divorce papers would need to be recognised in a British Court of Law.Why getting a divorce is so complicated whilst getting married is automatically recognised I don't know or understand really as it doesn't make sense to me but alas that is the system people have to go through at the moment. Hopefully things may or could change in the future.

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson


#10 KKW

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Posted 18 November 2011 - 09:12 AM

Take a moment to think about it. Just because a marriage isn't registered in the UK doesn't mean it's not legal. Otherwise the UK Registrars would have to be registering literally millions of weddings every year just in case a foreigner wanted to begin divorce proceedings in the UK.Good Luck.

#11 Meral

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Posted 18 November 2011 - 06:26 PM

That's right KKW, and no-one ever said Ayse's marriage wasn't legal. And thinking further along your lines, imagine if every couple migrating to the UK were forced to undergo another marriage ceremony upon arrival just to make it "legal". :) The UK would of course recognise her marriage, but she should first make them aware of it. Good luck from me too Ayse ! I do hope you will let us know how it goes, as everything on this forum serves as a lesson for others.
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#12 ISHMA

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Posted 19 November 2011 - 02:13 AM

just take the wedding book and have translated by a legal office who will stamp translation next go to Uk solictor and file for divoice they have to write to him and inform him of your intentions they will ask your reasons for divoice and tell him if he agrees thats it simple .

#13 ayse23

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Posted 20 November 2011 - 06:16 PM

Many Thanks for your good words of advise. i think i need to contact a family lawyer.Its all so confusing. My husband said he dont want a divorce. But then agreed the other day we can go ahead. BUT only if we meet face to face.Of which i cant do. There is no way i can go to turkey.All the threats scare me its not worth the risk. Do i need a divorce right now.Its stressful enough ending a relationship never mind having to go through all this.Is it wise to just stay married but cut all contacts with him???I dont have the money for all the fee's etc... as ive left everything with him...I just want to get my life back and put it all behind me...Im still classed as single in the uk and that will still continue with or without divorce.Ayse

#14 Abi

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Posted 20 November 2011 - 06:39 PM

If you want to get your life back and put it behind you the only way you can do that is by getting a divorce I would have thought but only you can decided what is best for you. As I have said before you may be able to legal aid but you will have to find out about that.Best of luck :)

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past. - Thomas Jefferson


#15 Meral

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Posted 20 November 2011 - 08:07 PM

Ayse, if your husband now knows you want a divorce, but agrees only on condition you go back to Turkey .........pleeeease don't go ! Too risky.

I hate to say it, but there are Turkish men who cannot accept their wife or girlfriend abandoning them -- they see it as dishonourable. From your description of his behaviour, he may well react this way, and it could result in dire consequences. Just think -- if you are going to divorce in any case, why does he want or even need to see you in person ?

You could, as you say, just cut off all contact and continue to live as a "single" person in the UK..........but, one day in the future you may want to marry someone else, and then you will have to deal with this marriage/divorce business (although by then in a calmer state hopefully).

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you safety, peace of mind, good luck and happiness ! Posted Image
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Given a Cape and a nice Tiara
I could save the world.
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#16 ayse23

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Posted 21 November 2011 - 01:46 AM

Thank you both for the above messages. i will contact the CAB tomorrow and see if i can get any legal aid.Meral, you are right about me goin back to turkey, my family have taken my passport from me so i cant go there. im at breaking point and i do things on a wim. Just want to end the fight now. its really hard coz i love husband so much but i dont like them anymore. !! and it is defo his honor that bothers him.But he dont think of the respect for his wife when runs of his mouth with nasty things and threatens any male that looks or talks to me.. i cant live this life any more....Im scared to move on and have to start my life all over again, without a pennie to my name..!!But i have to do it and the sooner this is sorted the soon i can be happy again:-)Thanks for your good wishes, im going to need them .Ayse

#17 amberhuxley

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Posted 30 September 2014 - 08:38 PM

sorry to hear about your news but i am really worried myself i am divorced from my turkish husband over a year ago now and i still have not received my final divorce paper i have tryed everything to get this paper and now i dont know where else to look ,my ex husband took the marriage book back to turkey with him i do hope  someone can help me too as i need this paper if i want to get married again in this country wales ,