TornHeart

Dolphin Bar Waiters?

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Just a quick question really... have any of the girls been really chatted up by any of the guys in Dolphin Bar?Yeah I know theyre always flirty with everyone to get people into the bar and things, but has anyone been told they want to be their girlfriends, or come over to England?Just a question, as I met someone who used to work in Altinkum last year, kept in touch via facebook and msn, met up again this year, and now he tells me he wants me to be his girlfriend and wants to come over to see me and stuff like that! I always have thought he was different to everyone else,,, but reading about it on this site puts me off a little!! So just wondering if anyone has had a similar experiance in this bar??Thanksss :)

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Welcome to our forum Tornheart. You are very sensible to come here and ask about this, a lot of ladies plunge in with often disastrous results.I don't know about the 'Dolphin Bar', you didn't say which resort it was in, but this is extremely common in all the resorts. People working in summer season chat up girls/ladies in the hope of money, visas and sex.I'm not saying that they are all like that but the vast majority seem to be and I'm afraid that the chances of a seasonal worker getting a tourist visa is very unlikely.If he asks you for money for whatever plausible reason, don't be tempted to give it to him, even if it's for his mother/father /brother who desperately needs an operation/will be thrown out of their apartment/face going to prison etc.I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear but I would be doing you a disservice to tell you otherwise.

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Hi from me too Tornheart, I agree with all the Sunny has said. It's always difficult to say whether he is genuine or not, but don't rush into anything just take your time. They always seem genuine unfortunely and you don't always find out until they get a visa be it for holiday or settlement or money.Take care :)

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Hiya Tornheart, Im sorry to say I agree with the 2 comments above. Just take your time in the relationship and dont for any reason ever give him money. I hope he is a genuine person and isnt using you for a visa or money but just be on the safe side. Tourist visas are very hard for people who work in the tourism area to get as Sunny said. You will also be suprised by the amount of women who think that the person they have met seems different to the others. I am married to a Turk who I met in Fethiye 4 years ago, he worked as part of an entertainment team and there are many other people on this site who are happily married to Turks, so there are many genuinly nice turks out there. Just take your time and becareful.love Samantha xxx

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İ agree with the others be careful. We have been married over three years knew each other over six had good bank accounts both had property in our own names in Turkey and Uk he was employed all year and had ınsurance (ssk) and still had a refusal for a tourist visa first time. it is not easy and İ cant believe he doesnt know this.He may be genuıne but take it slowly. A lot of these boys have to keep families in the East and will try anything to improve their rather bleak prospects.

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Hi tornheart - welcome to the site!9 years ago, I went to Turkey for the first time and met a man. I did not expect to hear from him after I returned home, and in fact I felt insulted that he thought I was gullible enough to believe him when he said how much he liked me, and how he wanted me to come back at the end of the season, and how he thought I was different from other girls he'd met.I was surprised when he kept in touch, but did not let my guard down towards him just because of a few texts and emails. I did internet searches for 'turkish loverats', 'turkish scams', etc and came across a forum for girls with Turkish boyfriends. It was nice to have others to talk to.I then realised that many Turkish men DO keep in touch with the women they meet on holiday, and that I should not necessarily read too much into it. In fact, if you do some research yourself, you'll find that longterm relationships between Turkish men and foreign women are not at all uncommon.Not all of these relationships work out. Most of them end unhappily, to be truthful with you. Some do turn into happy relationships though.Just because someone has stayed in touch with you, and you become their girlfriend, it does not necessarily follow that they are genuine. There are many advantages for a Turkish man to pursue a relationship with a foreign woman - but I'm not saying this to put you off.All I'm saying is - plenty of men do this. Probably most of the unmarried men working in resorts (and some of the married ones!). It doesn't necessarily mean the man you've met has done this before, but it's possible.But you have to judge your relationship for yourself. As the others have said, there can be alarm bells, which some people ignore.Try to keep your wits about you, even though this can be hard when you're attracted to someone and trying to work out where your relationship's going.Good luck - hope it goes well for you.

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Welcome to our forum Tornheart. You are very sensible to come here and ask about this, a lot of ladies plunge in with often disastrous results.I don't know about the 'Dolphin Bar', you didn't say which resort it was in, but this is extremely common in all the resorts. People working in summer season chat up girls/ladies in the hope of money, visas and sex.I'm not saying that they are all like that but the vast majority seem to be and I'm afraid that the chances of a seasonal worker getting a tourist visa is very unlikely.If he asks you for money for whatever plausible reason, don't be tempted to give it to him, even if it's for his mother/father /brother who desperately needs an operation/will be thrown out of their apartment/face going to prison etc.I'm sorry if this is not what you want to hear but I would be doing you a disservice to tell you otherwise.

Hes not actually asked for money!!..... yet! Its in Didum in altinkum though!! Thanks for the reply though :)

Hiya Tornheart, Im sorry to say I agree with the 2 comments above. Just take your time in the relationship and dont for any reason ever give him money. I hope he is a genuine person and isnt using you for a visa or money but just be on the safe side. Tourist visas are very hard for people who work in the tourism area to get as Sunny said. You will also be suprised by the amount of women who think that the person they have met seems different to the others. I am married to a Turk who I met in Fethiye 4 years ago, he worked as part of an entertainment team and there are many other people on this site who are happily married to Turks, so there are many genuinly nice turks out there. Just take your time and becareful.love Samantha xxx

Ahhh thank you :) Ive been told lots and lots about them! Thats how I ended up on here! My manager from work is married to a Turk and owns property out there thats why we have been over for the last two years! Ive spoken to him on facebook and texts but I know I have to keep on the safe side! So how long have you been married and what he a seasonal worker too?! If you dont mind me asking?!Thank you :)xxx

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Welcome Tornheart, and I can only reinforce what others have said here. Although the very fact that you have come on this forum and asked for advice would appear that you are being careful.As Sam says, not all Turkish men are "loverats"...but unfortunately a considerable amount of them are. If you enter into a relationship with a man you meet who works in the tourist industry in particular, you need to hve your eyes wide open.It's not all bad news though...there are some good ones out there. My Turkish husband still works in the tourist industry and we have been married for almost 13 years.Just use your common sense and don't hand over any money.Good luck xx

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hello HeartTorn, of course I dont mind you asking, we are all here to help each other out and stop hearts from being broken. My husband Harun was a season worker yes, he worked in the Ova Resort Hotel in Hisaronu. Like Sirin, said I never expected to hear from him again after my holiday but was so suprised when I signed in on msn and he had requested a friendship, I signed in on facebook and he had sent a friendship request. We got to know each other over the internet he would call me every 2 days or when he was free but I never really expected anything to come out of it, never mind get married haha. We met in August 2007 when I came on my all girls holiday, then I came back to Turkey in November 2007 to stay with him at his university home for 2 weeks and thats when I realised I had to try this relationship out. So I went back to cardiff until March 2008 thats when I moved out here and we married in October 2008 (very soon I know, but it felt right). So this October it will be our 3 year anniversary, how he have put up with me that long I have noooo idea haha.Harun have never asked me for money once, Im not rich dont get me wrong but he knows I have money saved in the bank which I will not touch unless I need it. He doesnt want to live in the UK, I had to persuade him to just come and visit but his visa got declined twice as he was a season worker. Now we both have our own business here in Turkey so we will have a better chance I hope of getting a visa for a few weeks but even when I mention that to him he isnt interested. If you have anymore questions dont be afraid to ask. xx

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Hmm, a dude was hitting on you in Didim? Was it last week?? Probably someone I know... xD

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hello HeartTorn, of course I dont mind you asking, we are all here to help each other out and stop hearts from being broken. My husband Harun was a season worker yes, he worked in the Ova Resort Hotel in Hisaronu. Like Sirin, said I never expected to hear from him again after my holiday but was so suprised when I signed in on msn and he had requested a friendship, I signed in on facebook and he had sent a friendship request. We got to know each other over the internet he would call me every 2 days or when he was free but I never really expected anything to come out of it, never mind get married haha. We met in August 2007 when I came on my all girls holiday, then I came back to Turkey in November 2007 to stay with him at his university home for 2 weeks and thats when I realised I had to try this relationship out. So I went back to cardiff until March 2008 thats when I moved out here and we married in October 2008 (very soon I know, but it felt right). So this October it will be our 3 year anniversary, how he have put up with me that long I have noooo idea haha.Harun have never asked me for money once, Im not rich dont get me wrong but he knows I have money saved in the bank which I will not touch unless I need it. He doesnt want to live in the UK, I had to persuade him to just come and visit but his visa got declined twice as he was a season worker. Now we both have our own business here in Turkey so we will have a better chance I hope of getting a visa for a few weeks but even when I mention that to him he isnt interested. If you have anymore questions dont be afraid to ask. xx

Ahhh its actually nice to hear that it does work out though! :) I am happy for you! And I dont think it is too soon! If its what was right then it was meant to happen!!! Ive known this person for 3 years now! Dont know what to do you just hear so many different kind of stories of different people!!! xx

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It's hard I know to come to the right decision. There are few senerios here but just my thoughts.The first one is that he is genuine, you get married at some point later on and live happily ever after in the UK or Turkey. The second is that he is using you to get money one way or another, has no interst in you other than that. It may be that you own a house and some will marry you they know that after a few years of marriage they will be entitled to make a claim on the house and get in some cases 50%. They consider that even if they have to wait say 5 years or even more it's worth it. They then return to Turkey and in some cases to a wife with your money The third is that he wants to gain entry to the UK and as soon as he gets his Indefinate Leave to Remain stamped in his passport he will leave you. Actually some don't wait that long and as soon as they have sorted out a job and somewhere else to live they leave.The fourth one is that he is genuine and has ideas that living somewhere other than Turkey would make life better for him as he would be able support you and any children you may have. The reality is that they don't realise how expensive it is to live in the UK and it doesn't matter how many times you tell them they don't believe it. The other thing to consider is even if they have a professional job in Turkey and they are qualified they can struggle to gain the same sort of job in the UK, whilst it's not impossible you have consider that with the current economic as it is where jobs are hard to get even for a Brit that they will struggle. For the Turk who is a seasonal worker life can also be a struggle trying to get work. They can spend months out of work and when they do get a job in some cases it will only be paying them a minimum wage so the wife then becomes the bread winner of the family. Money problems can and do put a strain on the marriage.The last one is that he is genuine he comes to the UK and after a time he can't settle and wants to return to Turkey. The wife then has to make a big decision. Life for a foreign wife can be hard over here. Unless you have been married for over three years and have taken Turkish nationality and to get that you have to pass a Turkish language exam, the chances are that you will not be able to work in Turkey unless you live in a large city. Even if you don't work unless you live in an expat area you will need to be able to speak Turkish as you will find yourself very isolated and may find that you can't live in Turkey.At the end of the day I know that just because you enter into a relationship with a foreign national it doesn't mean to say that it will end in marriage. But I do feel that all the points I mentioned should be considered before emarking on one. The problem with a LDR is that they seem to develope at an alarming speed and people marry far quicker than they normally would.All that I have written may seem extreme but have happened.If making a decision about whether to enter into a relationship with this person is causing you a headache it probably might be better in the long run to give it a miss but I know that is easier said than done. Or just try and relax and see where it all goes. :)Good luck :) :)

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I agree with everything Abi have said there, its horrible to hear the truth being told like that but its the only way to tell it. Before I moved here I heard so many stories from so many people but none of them were or are married to a turk or somebody of a different nationality but hearing the stories on a forum like this makes it more understandable and your more likely to listen as most of the members here are or were married to turks.xxx

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I think the boys in Dolphin Bar you have to be very careful with. I know that this season, one of the breakdancers did actually get married to his English fiance, and now they're happily living together with her two children out in Altinkum. But I wouldn't trust any of the dolphin bars as far as I could throw them. I think they're good as friends, but that's it. Some of us are lucky to find genuinely nice ones...like Kaan for example. But any of the bars in dolphin square have boys that are just looking for sex.

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But any of the bars in dolphin square have boys that are just looking for sex.

And English girls, women and pensioners looking for the same.

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Why only English people Istanbul?

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Exactly. Why English people? Yeah, some of the English girls that go over there do tart themselves up a bit, but the majority of Polish and Russian girls that go over there thinking they're God's gift or something, and try to get with the guy they want, not even caring whether they have a girlfriend or whatever and trying to cause trouble, are just as bad - yes, speaking from experience with Polish girls in 2010!

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I think thats a bit unfair İstanbul. There are many different nationality females with broken hearts from Turkish men who are only out for 1 thing not just English. There are also many different nationality females who have turkish boyfriends and husbands. Saying just English females is a bit unfair x

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Ahh! Well were still talking now :) Which is good! Talk several times a day! I know people have their own opinions like people above with their 'English People' but Im not really fussed! And Kaan? Did he used to work at Pegasus bar?! Im sure I met him last year! hahaSamantha and Libby, youve shown that it can actually work! And thats for all your advice :)xx

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Is what I said unfair? If so, please tell me how. The majority of foreigners who visit Didim are English. Those bars are full of English women more than willing to have sex with the waiters. Dirty old men goto Thailand, dirty old women goto Didim. That's the sad truth of the matter. If this was not the case the waiters wouldn't behave as they do.I live in Ankara and know what 'real Turkey' is. Turks do not behave like the pests that are called waiters in Didim. I have an apartment in Didim and I'm currently in the process of selling is because the area quite frankly no longer appeals to me.

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But it's the same everywhere. I've been told that Fethiye is bad for women as well. Not all men in Didim behave that way. My fiance is one of the most genuinely nicest, loving and caring people you will ever meet...everybody who knows him and who have met him have always said it. He's been working and living in Didim for 8 years. We have decided not to go back, but it's nothing to do with the women...it's the men. The men bring it on themselves, by being so open to it. This year and last year, more polish and russian people were going, looking for men. These English women give the rest of us bad names, but it's not so the truth.Tornheart, yeah he did work at Pegasus...in summer 2010 anyway! Did you go into Pegasus then? I probably saw you at some point...I was in there every night all summer :)

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Is what I said unfair? If so, please tell me how. The majority of foreigners who visit Didim are English. Those bars are full of English women more than willing to have sex with the waiters. Dirty old men goto Thailand, dirty old women goto Didim. That's the sad truth of the matter. If this was not the case the waiters wouldn't behave as they do.

I live in Ankara and know what 'real Turkey' is. Turks do not behave like the pests that are called waiters in Didim. I have an apartment in Didim and I'm currently in the process of selling is because the area quite frankly no longer appeals to me.

Hi Istanbul, I think for you to compare the women who go to Didim with the dirty old men who go to Thailand is rather unfair!Posted Image I have been to both Thailand and Malaysia and the vast majority of men who go there do so because they're paedophiles or looking for Ladyboys.. I've seen with my own eyes men (of all ages too - from 20s to 80s) and from various countries - the UK, Germany, America, Australia etc..walking through the hotel lobby with a girl who looks to be about 10!!

Of course some of the men go there for cheap sex with women who are above the legal age too, but I don't feel you can compare these men with the women who frequent Turkey looking for a Turkish man to have a fling with. There are some English, Scottish, Irish, Welsh women (including those from mainland Europe) who possibly do go to Turkey because they know they're almost guaranteed sex, but they're not paedophiles! And they're not all old women either. Many young girls go to Turkey to get chatted up too!

I can't speak for Didim itself (I've only been there once and left as quickly as possible.....Posted Image ....) but Marmaris and Icmeler are just as bad with the waiter scenarios. I have been told that the men who work in tourism and are looking for sex, vizas etc, go to work the season in Marmaris, Icmeler, Kusadasi, Altinkum and Gumbet specifically, because they're large resorts with lots of female tourists, and they hear rumours from other resort workers that the women who go there are very open minded, and I'm loathe to say this, but they believe the women are low class and easy to have sex with. I hope that doesn't offend, it's just what I've been told.Posted Image I don't think the problem is as bad in places such as Kalkan or Kas, which is why typical love rat waiters wouldn't choose to work those resorts, altough there's probably a few lurking about in obscure resoorts. Of course, the internet has taken over now, so love rats from anywhere in Turkey can just meet a woman online by going into a chatroomPosted Image or pulling one off facebook, so the waiters now have competition from allsorts, shop workers, office workers, drivers, teachers, students, professionals...a whole range of professions!Posted Image

Your comment..... 'about Dirty old men goto Thailand, dirty old women goto Didim. That's the sad truth of the matter. If this was not the case the waiters wouldn't behave as they do.'

If the waiters had any pride and self respect they wouldn't have sex with these women they don't fancy!! The women aren't putting a gun to their heads! These type of women wouldn't go to Turkey if they knew certain Turkish men weren't willing to have sex with almost anyone. And however desperate the women may come across it's always the men who are PESTS!Posted Image They behave like wasps! I know some women throw themselves at any man but generally it's the men who do all the incessant chasing!! They even manage to find you in the comfort of your home now by popping up on your computer!!!Posted Image If you have any connection to Turkey the viza/sex/money hunters will sniff you out on the www!!Posted Image

L x

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I completely agree with Lizaliza!! Well said too. You took the exact thoughts from my head!! xxx

Lizaliza likes this

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İ dont know Didim but İ did once go to Marmaris and didnt get hassled. One of two reasons. They didnt fancy me or İ wasnt dressed as though İ was looking for it.Lets be fair there are tarts of all nationalities and all sexes and assuming only turkish men will have easy sex is a bit blinkered. A lot of europeans lead promiscious lives without leaving their home country. When İ return to Bristol and look around me İ am shocked by the amount of alcoholic and druggy lewd behaviour in the city centre its so bad İ dont go there after 5pm which is a shame as the theatres and such are all in the centre. My friends who live there also say they avoid the centre.

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