4 replies to this topic

[sunny]

“Aren’t you afraid to go places alone here?” a new expat to İstanbul asked me. Recently married to her Turkish husband, they had just arrived from America to start their new life together in İstanbul. Although she had visited many times, she had always been well-taken care of by her in-laws. She had never navigated the city alone.


Today's Zaman Article

[Sirin]

Thanks for posting this link Sunny.

I was a little disappointed though - as often seems to be the case with the English version of Zaman, the article does not fulfill what the headline promises. Why do they keep doing this? If they are trying to grab attention, it just gets annoying.

I was hoping that this article was going to be about the differences in freedoms that seem permissible between single expats or those married to other expats, and the experience of the wife of a Turk.

Maybe others won't agree, but it's been my experience that it is not considered safe for me to travel anywhere alone. My husband is not a controlling man. We have a very equal relationship at home. But in Turkey, I sometimes feel I'm trotting after him. Whereas my younger sister in law - a very pretty, very petite 25 can go out, travel on public transport, go shopping without anyone turning a hair.

Perhaps they think she understands Turkish ways (including inappropriate behaviour from Turkish men) but that as a yabanci I won't - and will either put myself in danger or bring embarrassment to them.

I may be painting an inaccurate picture of my in-laws - but I don't think I'm alone in this experience.

I would love to have the freedom to make my own way around Istanbul or even tourist areas!!!

[sunny]

Oh, I have never had this problem with my husband. I've travelled all over the place on my own at different times for one reason or other. For example many years ago when Mr sunny and his partner were getting a boat fitted out in Bozburun near Marmaris I was teaching at a dershane in Izmir. Once I finished my class on a Tuesday evening I would catch an overnight bus down to Marmaris, arriving about six then I would catch the post dolmus to Bozburun arriving at about 11am and then return the next day ready to teach on Friday.
Also he's used to me flying back and fore on my own to the UK twice a year.

[atayavie]

Maybe others won't agree, but it's been my experience that it is not considered safe for me to travel anywhere alone. My husband is not a controlling man. We have a very equal relationship at home. But in Turkey, I sometimes feel I'm trotting after him. Whereas my younger sister in law - a very pretty, very petite 25 can go out, travel on public transport, go shopping without anyone turning a hair.

Perhaps they think she understands Turkish ways (including inappropriate behaviour from Turkish men) but that as a yabanci I won't - and will either put myself in danger or bring embarrassment to them.

I may be painting an inaccurate picture of my in-laws - but I don't think I'm alone in this experience.

I would love to have the freedom to make my own way around Istanbul or even tourist areas!!!

I'm experiencing something completely similar, Sirin. But not as extreme I guess. For example, I am touring the city alone all the time while my boyfriend is at work, but the second we're together he'd have my head if I tried to go out alone. I think he's something like your husband...not controlling, but concerned about my safety, or at best, concerned about other people being concerned about my safety....

[Ahududu]

Personally, I never had any issues going out solo in Istanbul.
It may be worse in the tourist areas, as it can be anywhere, and I've got bright blue eyes, so I always look foreign in Mediterranean countries!